LGBT-related films

"Dearest, I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of these terrible times again and I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices and can't concentrate. So I'm doing what seems to be the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I know that I'm spoiling your life and without me you could work, and you will, I know. You see, I can't even write this properly. What I want to say is that I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me. And incredibly good. Everything is gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been."

"Leonard, I believe I may have a first sentence."

"A woman's whole life in a single day. Just one day. And in that day her whole life."

"It's on this day. This day of all days. Her fate becomes clear to her."

"I can't think of anything more exhilarating than a trip to London."

"I am saying, Vanessa, that even crazy people like to be asked."

"Did it matter then, she asked herself, walking towards Bond Street, did it matter that she must inevitably cease completely; all this must go on without her; did she resent it; or did it not become consoling to believe that death ended absolutely? It is possible to die. It is possible to die."

"I am attended by doctors! Everywhere, I am attended by doctors who inform me of my own interests."

"I am ungrateful? You call me ungrateful? My life has been stolen from me. I'm living in a town I have no wish to live in. I'm living a life I have no wish to live. How did this happen?"

"If I were thinking clearly, Leonard, I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark. And that only I can know, only I can understand my own condition. You live with the threat, you tell me you live with the threat of my extinction. Leonard, I live with it too. This is my right; it is the right of every human being. I choose not the suffocating anesthetic of the suburbs but the violent jolt of the Capital. That is my choice. The meanest patient, yes, even the very lowest is allowed some say in the matter of her own prescription. Thereby she defines her humanity. I wish, for your sake, Leonard, I could be happy in this quietness. But if it is a choice between Richmond and death, I choose death."

"You cannot find peace by avoiding life, Leonard."

"Dear Leonard. To look life in the face. Always to look life in the face and to know it for what it is. At last to know it. To love it for what it is, and then, to put it away. Leonard. Always the years between us. Always the years. Always the love. Always the hours."

"I'm gonna make a cake. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna make the cake for daddy's birthday."

"Obviously, you feel unworthy. Gives you feelings of unworthiness. You survive and they don't."

"There are times when you don't belong and you think you're going to kill yourself. Once I went to a hotel. Later that night I made a plan. The plan was I would leave my family when my second child was born. And that's what I did. I got up one morning, made breakfast, went to the bus stop, got on a bus. I'd left a note. I got a job in a library in Canada. It would be wonderful to say you regretted it. It would be easy. But what does it mean? What does it mean to regret when you have no choice? It's what you can bear. There it is. No-one's going to forgive me. It was death. I chose life."

"That is what we do. That is what people do. They stay alive for each other."

"Why is everything wrong?"

"When I'm with him I feel... Yes, I am living. And when I'm not with him... Yes, everything does seem sort of silly."

"I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. You know, that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts. And of course there will always be more. It never occurred to wasn't the beginning. It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then."

"Oh, Mrs. Dalloway... Always giving parties to cover the silence."

"I wanted to be a writer, that's all. I wanted to write about it all. Everything that happens in a moment. The way the flowers looked when you carried them in your arms. This towel, how it smells, how it feels, this thread. All our feelings, yours and mine. The history of it, who we once were. Everything in the world. Everything all mixed up, like it's all mixed up now. And I failed. I failed. No matter what you start with it ends up being so much less. Sheer fucking pride and stupidity."

"Would you be angry if I died?"

"Just wait till I die. Then you'll have to think of yourself. How are you going to like that?"

"I had this fantastic notion. I took the Xanax and the Ritalin together. It had never occurred to me!"

"I've stayed alive for you. But now you have to let me go."

"I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been."

"Leonard: Do you think it's possible that bad writing actually attracts a higher incidence of error?"

"Sally: Why do I always have to sit next to the exes? Is this some kind of a hint, sweetheart? And anyway, shouldn't the exes have a table of their own where they can all ex together in ex-quisite agony?"

"Kitty: All my life I could do everything. I could do anything, really. Except the one thing I wanted."

"Kitty: I don't think you can call yourself a woman until you're a mother."

"Louis: The day I left him I got on a train and made my way across Europe. I felt free for the first time in years."

"Vanessa: Your aunt is a very lucky woman, Angelica. She has two lives. She has the life she is leading and also the books she is writing."

"Julia: They're all here, aren't they? All the ghosts... All the ghosts are assembling for the party!"

"Dan: The thought of this life, that's what kept me going. I had an idea of our happiness."

"Julia: So that's the monster."

"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep. It's as simple and ordinary as that. A few jump out windows, or drown themselves, or take pills; more die by accident; and most of us are slowly devoured by some disease, or, if we're very fortunate, by time itself. There's just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem, against all odds & expectations, to burst open & give us everything we've ever imagined, though everyone but children (and perhaps even they) know these hours will inevitably be followed by others, far darker and more difficult. Still, we cherish the city, the morning, we hope, more than anything for more. Heaven only knows why we love it so... There she is with another hour before her."

"Nicole Kidman - Virginia Woolf"

"Julianne Moore - Laura Brown"

"Meryl Streep - Clarissa Vaughan"

"Ed Harris - Richard Brown"

"Hedwig: How did some slip of a girlyboy from Communist East Berlin become the internationally ignored song stylist barely standing before you?"

"Hedwig: She came up to me after the show and I thought, "This lady wants a piece of me." So, you know, I was alone, I had nothing in my hand, I was gonna go for the eyes... She came at me from both sides and she gave me a fucking hug."

"Hedwig: Tommy, can you hear me? From this milkless tit you sucked the very business we call show!"

"Hedwig: I scraped by with odd jobs, mostly the jobs we call blow."

"TV: Good things come to those who wait."

"Hedwig: I lost my job at the base PX, and I lost my gag reflex. You do the math."

"Hedwig: It is clear that I must find my other half. But is it a he or a she? What does this person look like? Identical to me? Or somehow complementary? Does my other half have what I don't? Did he get the looks? The luck? The love? Were we really separated forceably or did he just run off with the good stuff? Or did I? Will this person embarrass me? What about sex? Is that how we put ourselves back together again? Or can two people actually become one again?"

"Hedwig: I grew up listening to the American masters: Toni Tennille, Debbie Boone, Anne Murray--who was actually a Canadian working in the American idiom. Then there were the crypto-homo rockers: Lou Reed, Iggy Pop, David Bowie--who was actually an idiom working in America and Canada."

"Hedwig:(singing) My sex change operation got botched/ My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch/ Now all I've got is a Barbie Doll Crotch/ I got an angry inch!"

"Hedwig:(singing) Now, there was three sexes, one looked like two men back to back/ called the Children of the Sun/ and similar in shape and girth was the Children of the Earth/ They looked like two girls rolled up in one/ And the Children of the Moon looked like a fork shoved on a spoon/ They was part sun, part Earth, part daughter, part son."

"Hedwig: He played me songs. The bands were new to me: Boston, Kansas, America, Europe, Asia. Travel exhausts me."

"Hedwig: You don't put a bra in a dryer. It warps!"

"Tommy: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior? Hedwig: No, but I love his work."

"Hedwig: I stumble naked through the ruins, back towards blander, less complicated confections, leaving in my wake a trail of rainbow carnage."

"Hedwig: I got kicked out of university after delivering a brilliant lecture on the aggressive influence of German philosophy on rock and roll entitled "You, Kant, Always Get What You Want""

"Hedwig: I tried singing once, back in Berlin; they threw tomatoes. After the show I had a nice salad."

"Zexy, Zany, Zensational !"

"George Hamilton - Don Diego Vega / Zorro / Bunny Wigglesworth / Ramon Vega"

"Lauren Hutton - Charlotte Taylor-Wilson"

"Brenda Vaccaro - Florinda"

"Ron Leibman - Captain Esteban"

"Donovan Scott - Paco"

"James Booth - Velasquez"

"Helen Burns - Consuelo"

"Clive Revill - Garcia"

"Carolyn Seymour - Dolores"

"Eduardo Noriega - Don Francisco"

"Pilar Pellicer - Don Francisco's wife"

"Jorge Russek - Don Fernando"

"Eduardo Alcaraz - Don Jose"

"Carlos Bravo y Fernández - Don Luis Obispo"

"Roberto Dumont as Ferraro"

"Jorge Bolio - Pablito"

"Frank Welker - Narrator (voice)"

"[voiceover] Veronica was adopted by her parents when they were missionaries in Vietnam. Hilary Faye sees her as an example of God's will triumphing over a savage, Godless nation."

"[to a cross, after discovering she's pregnant] Shit! Fuck! [under her breath] Goddamn."

"[to Mary regarding Dean] Come on, you're not born a gay, you're born again."

"[when she crashes her car] I crashed my van into Jesus!"

"[when throwing a Bible at Mary] I am FILLED with Christ's love!"

"[when talking to Rowland about Jesus] Of course he's white."

"Heaven Help Us."

"Got Passion? Get Saved. 5:28"

"Lead us not into temptation."

"I read a study and after the age of forty a woman's chances of having sex are diminished by eighty percent. So, after fifty, God help you. And since I probably won't be having sex again, chocolate is the only pleasure left for me."

"You're not bisexual, Carla — you're omnisexual! You're like that tornado in the Wizard of Oz, sweeping up everything in your path."

"Customs held up another order of books at the border. They're claiming the books are pornographic… hello? Which they aren't. Well, maybe Butches in Chains is, but so what?"

"Ouch, it's the plight of the bisexual. Gay girls won't play with you."

"Of course it's obscene! That's the point!"

"Sometimes you have this bubbling up feeling, this certain sort of rage."

"Wendy Crewson — Lila"

"Karyn Dwyer — Maggie"

"Christina Cox — Kim"

"Ann-Marie MacDonald — Frances"

"Marya Delver — Carla"

"Kevin Mundy — Paul"

"Tony Nappo — Tony"

"Jay Brazeau — Mr. L. B. Marcus, Canada Customs"

"Beatrice Zeilanger — Bernice"

"Peter Outerbridge — Judy"

"Shirley MacLaine - Martha Dobie"

"Audrey Hepburn - Karen Wright"

"James Garner - Dr. Joe Cardin"

"Miriam Hopkins - Lily Mortar"

"Fay Bainter - Amelia Tilford"

"Karen Balkin - Mary Tilford"

"Veronica Cartwright - Rosalie Wells"

"Mimi Gibson - Evelyn"

"William Mims - Mr. Burton"

"Sally Brophy - Rosalie's mother"

"Hope Summers - Agatha"

"The seats are like butter!"

"We were so poor my parents married for the rice."

"I'm a princess! P to the R to the IN to the CESS!"

"[When Noxeema asks “Why do I feel like I'm in the Tournament of Roses Parade?”] Cause you're as big as a float."

"I didn’t ask to come on this trip, did I? No, I don't think so! Did I ask for you to be making me over, jump through all kinds of hoops like some kind of circus poodle? No, I don't think so! And do I want to go to jail because of some cop killer? No, I don't think so! So as soon as we get to the next town, I'm jumping on the first man and I'm riding him all the way to New York City and away from you two puckered up stuck up putas because this trip sucks! It sucks!"

"Vida, you know, you're not a queen because you rule people, or you sit on a throne, baby. You're a queen because you couldn't cut it as a man so you had to put on a dress, that's why."

"I love roughnecks; tell me, if I was your bread would you be my butter?"

"Uptight cellulite dinosaur fossil face white honky cracker witch!"

"Lord grant me the serenity to accept that I'm just a boy in a dress and the courage to change with the fashions and the wisdom to know the difference."

"I'm the Latina Marilyn Monroe. I've got more legs than a bucket of chicken!"

"Get in the car, Perras, I got us a ride to "Spidersville"..."

"Little Latin boy in drag, why are you crying?"

"[when asked “How do I look?” by Chi-Chi] Like the Miami Sound Machine just exploded all over you."

"I ain't drivin' you no more, Miss Daisy!"

"Why do I feel like I'm in the Tournament of Roses Parade?"

"Your mother."

"Look, that child is Latin. You don't want to be gettin' mixed up in all that Latin mess. She might turn out to be a sandinista or something."

"[As others say "I declare!”] I decline!"

"I do not do the bus. You obviously have me mistaken for Miss Rosa Parks."

"Look at her, runnin' like she runnin' across the border."

"Oh no girlfriend, did you just do a U-ie?"

"When a straight man puts on a dress and gets his sexual kicks, he is a transvestite. When a man is a woman trapped in a man's body and has a little operation, he is a transsexual. When a gay man has WAY too much fashion sense for one gender, he is a drag queen. And when a tired little Latin boy puts on a dress, he is simply a boy in a dress!"

"Check yourself, Loretta, before you wreck yourself!"

"If you want to let them know that there is steak for dinner, you got to let them hear it sizzle!"

"[when passing by a large Old Southern plantation style mansion] There will be a barbecue at Twelve Oaks tonight..."

"Noxeema Jackson.....Jesse's daughter."

"Do you like my nails?"

"[to Vida] Go on Vida and talk to him, you speak honky!"

"[to Clara] Miss Vida seems to think that I don't have a dream. Well, honey, I'm not Martin Luther King. I don't need a dream. I have a plan. You know I'm gonna tell you what it is, because instinctively I knew I could trust you, being as you're not a big talker and everything. My plan is that while in Hollywood I will be approached by an imminent producer, at The Ivy no doubt, to star in the lush film version of the Life of Ms. Dorothy Dandridge. Yes that noble blacktress, who never played domestic help. And then who's career was crushed by the white Hollywood machine."

"Internal combustion, the ultimate accessory."

"What in gay hell?"

"We are three young career girls..."

"I think today is a ‘Say Something’ Hat Day!"

"Now she's going to get herself kidnapped by some mountain man and we will have to go rescue her!"

"Operation Decorator Storm..."

"That's possibly-dead Sheriff Dullard!"

"[In male voice] Get your hand off my DICK, buddy!"

"I want you to believe in yourself, imagine good things, and moisturize."

"Oh look, it's a little Latin boy in drag, the little Latin boy in drag is crying! Noxy, ask the little Latin boy in drag why he is crying."

"What fresh hell is this?"

"[to Noxeema & Chi-Chi] Here is where they asked young Miss Vida to stop imitating Esther Williams in Million Dollar Mermaid, thus marring the Methodist annual picnic."

"Now tell me, which one of these dogs would you want to have as your wide receiver on your football team?"

"And to think that in some countries these dogs are eaten."

"Scott Donlan: She looks like a cocktail waitress on an oil rig."

"Sherri Ann Cabot: Leslie and I have an amazing relationship and it's very physical, he still pushes all my buttons. People say 'oh but he's so much older than you' and you know what, I'm the one having to push him away. We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about."

"Stefan Vanderhoof: If you're ever buying a shampoo sink go right to the Dutch. The French know nothing about shampooing."

"Christy Cummings: We started this magazine, "American Bitch". It's a focus on the issues of the lesbian pure bred dog owner."

"Scott Donlan: Bratwurst and shillelaghs... paging Dr. Freud."

"Fred Willard - Buck Laughlin"

"Christopher Guest - Harlan Pepper"

"Michael McKean - Stefan Vanderhoof"

"John Michael Higgins - Scott Donlan"

"Catherine O'Hara - Cookie Guggelman Fleck"

"Eugene Levy - Gerald 'Gerry' Fleck"

"Jay Brazeau - Dr. Chuck Nelken"

"Parker Posey - Meg Swan"

"Michael Hitchcock - Hamilton Swan"

"Linda Kash - Fay Berman"

"Larry Miller - Max Berman"

"Patrick Cranshaw - Leslie Ward Cabot"

"Jennifer Coolidge - Sherri Ann Ward Cabot"

"Jane Lynch - Christy Cummings"

"Bob Balaban - Dr. Theodore W. Millbank III"

"Jim Piddock - Trevor Beckwith, the Commentator"

"Ed Begley Jr. - Mark Schaefer, Hotel Manager"

"I guess I'll see you around...same 'bat time' or whatever."

"[to Janet] Remember when you got drunk and nearly got the chancellor of Bulgaria killed? I covered for you!"

"[to Lucy] I'm here because I feel more like me when I'm with you, than I do when I'm with me."

"I think love should be irresistible, like a drug, you know? I think when it happens you should just not be able to help yourself. I just - I wanted... more."

"Dominique: You're not as boring as I thought. But you're not as bright, either."

"Scud: Knock 'em dead... but not really."

"Ms. Petrie: This is not the Girl Scouts, this is espionage!"

"They're crime-fighting hotties with killer bodies."

"Evil is so totally busted!"

"Sara Foster - Amy Bradshaw"

"Jordana Brewster - Lucy Diamond"

"Meagan Good - Max Brewer"

"Devon Aoki - Dominique"

"Jill Ritchie - Janet"

"Jimmi Simpson - Scud"

"Holland Taylor - Mrs. Petrie"

"Michael Clarke Duncan - Mr. Phipps"

"Jessica Cauffiel - Ninotchka Kaprova"

"Christina Kirk - Madeleine"

"The good Americans usually die young on the battlefield, don't they? Well, the Davids of the world merely occupy space, which is why he was the perfect victim for the perfect crime."

"We killed for the sake of danger and for the sake of killing."

"Nobody commits a murder just for the experiment of committing it. Nobody except us."

"Of course, he was a Harvard undergraduate. That might be grounds for justifiable homicide."

"Good and evil, right and wrong were invented for the ordinary average man, the inferior man, because he needs them."

"I've always wished for more artistic talent. Well, murder can be art, too."

"The power to kill could be just as satisfying as the power to create."

"You're quite a good chicken strangler as I recall!"

"Brandon, till this very moment, this world and the people in it have always been dark and incomprehensible to me. I’ve tried to clear my way with logic and superior intellect. And you’ve thrown my own words right back in my face, Brandon. You were right, too. If nothing else, a man should stand by his words. But you’ve given my words a meaning that I never dreamed of! And you’ve tried to twist them into a cold, logical excuse for your ugly murder! Well, they never were that Brandon, and you can't make them that. There must have been something deep inside you from the very start that let you do this thing, but there’s always been something deep inside me, that would never let me do it – and would never let me be a party to it now."

"I mean that tonight you’ve made me ashamed of every concept I ever had of superior or inferior beings. But I thank you for that shame, because now I know that we are each of us a separate human being, Brandon. With the right to live and work and think as individuals, but with an obligation to the society we live in. By what right do you dare to say that there's a superior few to which you belong? By what right did you decide that that boy in there was inferior and could be killed? Did you think you were God, Brandon? Is that what you thought when you choked the life out of him? Is that what you thought when you served food from his grave?! I don't know who you are but I know what you've done. You've murdered! You choked the life out of a fellow human being who could live and love as you never could, and never will again!"

"I never strangled a chicken in my life!"

"Nothing ever held you like Alfred Hitchcock's Rope"

"It's his most nerve-stretching thriller!"

"It begins with a shriek... It ends with a shot!"

"James Stewart - Rupert Cadell"

"John Dall - Brandon Shaw"

"Farley Granger - Phillip Morgan"

"Cedric Hardwicke - Mr. Kentley"

"Constance Collier - Mrs. Atwater"

"Douglas Dick - Kenneth Lawrence"

"Edith Evanson - Mrs. Wilson"

"Dick Hogan - David Kentley"

"Joan Chandler - Janet Walker"

"This is all going to end badly."

"All every woman really wants, be it mother, senator, nun, is some serious deep-dickin'."

"I feel a hate crime coming on."

"[to Alyssa] Since you like chicks, right, do you just look at yourself naked in the mirror all the time?"

"Archie is not fucking Mr. Weatherbee!"

"What difference does it make if I refer to her as a dyke? Or if I call the Whalers a bunch of faggots in the comfort of my own office, far from the sensitive ears of the rest of the world?"

"I'm going to prove to you beyond a shadow of a doubt that Archie is all about pussy!"

"I'm telling you that chick is probably a bigger germ farm than that monkey in Outbreak!"

"Catholic school girls. The uniform's what does it for me. I wish I had've went with more Catholic school girls when I was a kid. As it stands I have no, "And then she unzipped her jumper," stories."

"It's not who you love, it's how."

"If this is a crush, I don't think I could take it if the real thing ever happened."

"Look, man, we miss this [train], and I am gonna shitcan you and just hire Charles Schulz."

"I love you…I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the-the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is-is-is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But—I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't—I can't look into your eyes without feeling that—that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are.And I know, this will probably queer our friendship—no pun intended—but I had to say it, 'cause I've never felt this way before, and I-I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But, God, I just—I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there's a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something, too. And all I ask, please, is that you just—you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which—while I do appreciate it—I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of."

"[on the phone with Holden after she paged him] One minute and five seconds; you are such my bitch."

"Since most of these people are cheering for the home team, I'm going to root for the visitors. I'm a big visitors fan. Especially the kind that make coffee in the morning before they leave!"

"I love you, I always will. Know that. [slaps Holden] But I'm not your fucking whore."

"[pointing at Holden] See that man over there? He the Devil! Never take your eye off the man."

"Honey, don't give me that "all for one" shit. I got to deal with being a minority in a minority of a minority, ain't nobody supportin' my ass."

"All the boys need to feel like they're Marco Fucking Polo when it comes to sex."

"Archie was the bitch and Jughead was the butch. That's why he was always going around wearing that crown-looking hat…he was the king of queen Archie's world."

"You gotta boil it down to the essentials. It's like Cube says, "Life ain't nothin' but bitches and money.""

"[to Holden] Bitch tasted life, yo, now she's settlin' for your boring, funny-book-makin' ass."

"Sex is easy. Love is hard."

"Finally, a comedy that tells it like it feels."

"Ben Affleck - Holden McNeil"

"Joey Lauren Adams - Alyssa Jones"

"Jason Lee - Banky Edwards"

"Dwight Ewell - Hooper X"

"Jason Mewes - Jay"

"Kevin Smith - Silent Bob"

"Casey Affleck - Little Kid"

"Guinevere Turner - Singer"

"Carmen Lee - Kim"

"Brian O'Halloran - Jim Hicks - Executive #1"

"Matt Damon - Shawn Oran - Executive #2"

"Ethan Suplee - Fan"

"Scott Mosier - Collector"

"[to Verdell, as he throws him down the garbage chute] This is New York. If you make it here, you can make it anywhere."

"[to Simon Bishop] As long as you keep your work zipped up around me, I don't give a rat-crap when or where you shove your show. Are we done being neighbors for now?"

"[trying to write] "Love was..." [Simon Bishop knocks on his door] Son of a BITCH! Pansy-ass stool pusher!"

"[to Simon Bishop] Well, I work all the time. So never, NEVER interrupt me, okay? Not if there's a fire. Not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home, and one week later, there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body, and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're gonna faint - even then, don't come knocking. Or, if it's election night, and you're excited and you wanna celebrate because some fudge-packer that you date has been elected the first queer president of the United States, and he's going to have you down to Camp David, and you want someone to share the moment with. Even then, don't knock. Not on this door. Not for ANY reason. Do you get me, sweetheart?"

"[to Verdell] I think it's a beautiful day for our walk today. Very nice. [Verdell is avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk, just like Melvin does. Melvin slows and observes the dog mirroring his behavior. Verdell carefully places his paws again to avoid a crack in the sidewalk.] What? Huh? [to Verdell] Hey! Hey! [He laughs out loud.] Look at that! Look at him! [He puts on plastic gloves.] I've gotta give you something. I gotta give you something real good, too. Now, I'm gonna show it to you. Come on, buddy. [He lifts Verdell to eye level.] Don't be like me, don't you be like me. You stay just the way you are 'cause you are a perfect man, and I'm gonna take you home and get you something to eat."

"[to Verdell, affectionately] Yes, I hate the doggy! Yes, I hate the doggy!"

"Worst sidewalk in New York. Look where they put it."

"[to patients in Dr. Green's waiting room] What if this is as good as it gets?"

"[to Brian] I'll be quiet. Just let me stay here. No problem. Go get Carol. Get her here. I'm not a - a prick. You are. I'm not judging. I'm a great customer. This day has been a disaster. I'm not sure if I can handle this, too."

"[to Simon Bishop] Nelly, you're a disgrace to depression."

"[to Simon Bishop] Quit worrying. You'll be back on your knees in no time."

"[about Carol Connelly's promise to never sleep with him] "Never," she says. "Never," she says."

"[introducing Carol Connelly and Simon Bishop to each other] Carol, the waitress, Simon, the fag."

"[to the bartender] The next thing I know, she's sitting right there next to me. Well, it's not right to go into details. I got nervous. I screwed up. I said the wrong thing. Where if I hadn't, I... I could be in bed right now with a woman who, if you make her laugh, you got a life. Instead, I'm here with you. No offense, but a moron pushing the last legal drug."

"[to Melvin Udall] If you ever mention my son again, you will never be able to eat here again. Do you understand? Give me some sign you understand, or leave now. [raising her voice] Do you understand me, you crazy fuck?"

"[to Melvin Udall] I want your life for one minute where my biggest problem is someone offering me a free convertible so I can get outta this city."

"[to Melvin Udall] You look so s- . . . [She stops herself from saying "sexy" and regathers.] You look, uh, great. You look great."

"[to Melvin Udall] When you first came into breakfast, when I first saw you, I thought you were handsome. Then, of course, you spoke."

"[to Melvin Udall] You don't love anything, Mr. Udall."

"[to Vincent Lopiano] Okay. Wh - What I do is I watch. You ever watch somebody who doesn't know that you're watching them? An old woman sitting on a bus or kids going to school or somebody just waiting, and you see this flash come over them, and you know immediately that it has nothing to do with anything external because that hasn't changed. And when you see it, they're just sort of realer, and they're more alive. I mean, you look at someone long enough, you discover their humanity."

"[to Verdell] Do you miss the tough guy? [imitating Melvin] Well here I am, sweetheart! Happy to see me, ya little piss-ant mop!? How 'bout another ride down the chute?!"

"[to Melvin Udall] Rot in hell, Melvin."

"[to Melvin Udall] Is this fun for you? Hm? You lucky devil. It just keeps getting better and better, don't it? I'm losing my apartment, Melvin. And... and Frank, he wants me to beg my parents, who haven't called me for help. And I won't. And... I... I don't want to paint anymore. So, the life that I was trying for is over. The life that I had is gone, and I'm feeling so damn sorry for myself that it's difficult to breathe. It's high times for you, isn't it, Melvin?! The gay neighbor's terrified! TERRIFIED!"

"[to Melvin Udall] Lucky for you, you're here for rock bottom. You absolute horror of a human being."

"[to Carol Connelly] But you're beautiful, Carol. Your skin, your long neck, the back, the line of you. You're why caveman chiseled on walls."

"[to Melvin Udall] You wanna say no to me? You wanna say no to me? 'Cause I've never felt this crazy as I do right now. I almost want you to say no."

"I'm in a freefall here!"

"BRACE YOURSELF FOR MELVIN"

"A comedy from the heart that goes for the throat."

"Jack Nicholson - Melvin Udall"

"Helen Hunt - Carol Connelly"

"Greg Kinnear - Simon Bishop"

"Cuba Gooding, Jr. - Frank Sachs"

"Shirley Knight - Beverly Connelly"

"Skeet Ulrich - Vincent Lopiano"

"Yeardley Smith - Jackie Simpson"

"Lupe Ontiveros - Nora Manning"

"Lawrence Kasdan - Dr. Green"

"Harold Ramis - Dr. Martin Bettes"

"Danielle Spencer - Veterinarian"

"Peter Jacobson - Man at table"

"Lisa Edelstein - Woman at table"

"I knew I should create a sensation, gasped the Rocket, and he went out. (Oscar Wilde - from the Remarkable Rocket)"

"Everyone’s into this scene because it’s supposedly the thing to do right now. But you just can’t fake being gay. You know, if you’re gonna claim that you’re gay you’re gonna have to make love in gay style, and most of these kids... just aren’t going to make it. That line, ‘Everybody’s bisexual’, that’s a very popular thing to say right now. Personally, I think it’s meaningless."

"He thought he fucking was Maxwell Demon in the end – you know? And Maxwell Demon...he thought he was God."

"The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips rewrite history. (Oscar Wilde - from the Picture of Dorian Gray)"

"See yourself on stage, inside-out. Tangled garlands in your hair. Of course, you are pleasantly surprised."

"Heroin used to be my main man. You could be my main man."

"You all know me – subtlety’s my middle name. It’s as subtle as the piece of skin between my vagina and my anus – ooh la! la! Now what’s that called, I can never quite remember...No man’s land? Oh gosh – my guiche, dah-ling!"

"It's funny how beautiful people look when they're walking out the door."

"I knew it was over. I just didn't know it was up to me to make it stop."

"Time, places, people,... they're all speeding up. So, to cope with this evolutionary paranoia, strange people are chosen who, through their art, can move progress more quickly."

"Softly, he said, "I will mangle your mind"."

"Opening Text: Although what you are about to see is a work of fiction, it should nevertheless be played at maximum volume."

"Female Narrator: Histories like ancient ruins are the fictions of empires. While everything forgotten hangs in dark dreams of the past, ever threatening to return."

"Oscar Wilde: I want to be a pop idol."

"Young Boy: Put out the torches. Hide the moon. Hide the stars."

"Female Narrator: For once there was an unknown land, full of strange flowers and subtle perfumes, a land of which it is joy of all joys to dream, a land where all things are perfect and poisonous."

"Female Narrator: Childhood, adults always say, is the happiest time in life. But as long as he could remember, Jack Fairy knew better."

"Child on Subway: Yesterday upon a stair, I saw a man who wasn't there, He wasn't there again today, How I wish he'd go away."

"Trevor: Rock music has always been a reaction against accepted standards. And homosexuality has been going on for centuries. At the moment having a ‘gay’ image is the ‘in’ thing, just like a few years ago it was trendy to wear a long grey coat with a Led Zeppelin record under your arm."

"Lou: I want you because you remember."

"Cecil: He was elegance, walking arm in arm with a lie."

"Cecil: Style always wins out in the end."

"Cecil [about Curt]: The doctors guaranteed the treatment would fry the fairy clean out of him. But all it did was make him bonkers everytime he heard electric guitar."

"Jonathan Rhys Meyers - Brian Slade"

"Christian Bale - Arthur Stuart"

"Ewan McGregor - Curt Wild"

"Toni Collette - Mandy Slade"

"Micko Westmoreland - Jack Fairy"

"Eddie Izzard - Jerry Devine"

"Emily Woof - Shannon"

"Joseph Beattie - Cooper"

"It's nobody's business but ours."

"Truth is, sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."

"You sit down before I knock your ignorant ass into next week!"

"I wish I knew how to quit you."

"Brokeback got us good, don't it?"

"You know it could be like this, just like this, always."

"There ain't never enough time, never enough..."

"You know friend, this is a God damn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation."

"This is a one-shot thing we got goin' on here."

"Two guys livin' together? No way."

"Jack, I swear."

"If you can't fix it, you gotta stand it."

"(mourning Jack's death) Jack, I swear..."

"Alma Del Mar: You didn't go up there to fish!"

"Alma Del Mar: Don't try and fool me no more, Ennis. I know what it means. Jack Twist? Jack Nasty!"

"Joe Aguirre: You boys sure found a way to make the time pass up there. Twist, you guys wasn't gettin' paid to leave the dogs babysittin' the sheep while you stem the rose."

"Lureen Newsome: What are you waitin' for, cowboy? ...a mating call?"

"Cassie Cartwright: You don't say much but you get your point across."

"Heath Ledger - Ennis Del Mar"

"Jake Gyllenhaal - Jack Twist"

"Michelle Williams - Alma Beers Del Mar"

"Anne Hathaway - Lureen Newsome Twist"

"I met Wendy Peterson when I was 10. She was 11, one grade ahead of me in school. If I wasn't queer we would have ended up having sloppy teenage sex and getting pregnant, contributing more fucked-up unwanted kids to society. But instead, she became my soulmate. And... one true partner in crime."

"Different folks, different strokes."

"You called me your fucking... angel."

"I hate it when they look like Tarzan but sound like Jane."

"I am so sick of this stinkin' little buttcrack of a town!"

"[voiceover] And as we sat there listening to the carolers, I wanted to tell Brian it was over now and everything would be okay. But that was a lie, plus, I couldn't speak anyway. I wish there was some way for us to go back and undo the past. But there wasn't. There was nothing we could do. So I just stayed silent and trying to telepathically communicate... how sorry I was about what had happened. And I thought of all the grief and sadness... and fucked up suffering in the world... and it made me want to escape. I wished with all my heart that we could just... leave this world behind. Rise like two angels in the night and magically... disappear."

"[voiceover] The summer I was 8 years old, 5 hours disappeared from my life. 5 hours. Lost. Gone without a trace. Last thing I remember I was sitting on the bench at my Little League game. It started to rain. What happened after that remains a pitch black void."

"[to his father] I was bleeding, I kept passing out, I wet my bed, and you never asked why!"

"Eric: [in a postcard to Neil] So you still haven't written - big surprise - but Wendy says you're doing OK, which is cool. I've been wanting to tell you about this strange guy I met 3 weeks ago. No, we're not fucking, get your mind out of the gutter, perv. He's not even gay, I don't think - in fact, his vibe is kinda weirdly asexual. His name is Brian Lackey. He lives in Little River and, like yours truly, attends Hutchinson Loser Community College... So anyways, the day you left, your mom and I found him literally on your doorstep, looking for you. He says you and him played Little League together like 10 years ago. He was the worst player on the team, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah... He's full of questions about you. But, of course, I haven't told him much, i.e. about your "line of work". I did say you were queer like me, only 'cause I figured you wouldn't care. But now, are you ready for the good part? He thinks that when you and him were little, you were both abducted and examined by space aliens. How brilliant is that? But he was completely serious when he told me this. Like you should've seen the look in his eyes. So, what's the story, dude? Were you abducted by a UFO or what? P.S. - Are your crabs gone yet?"

"Two boys. One can't remember. The other can't forget."

"Joseph Gordon-Levitt - Neil McCormick"

"Brady Corbet - Brian Lackey"

"Michelle Trachtenberg - Wendy"

"Jeff Licon - Eric Preston"

"Mary Lynn Rajskub - Avalyn Friesen"

"Elisabeth Shue - Ellen McCormick"

"Bill Sage as Coach"

"Chris Mulkey - Mr. Lackey"

"Lisa Long - Mrs. Lackey"

"Richard Riehle - Charlie"

"Kelly Kruger - Deborah"

"Brian Drago - Zek"

"[voiceover] I was wetter than Drew Barrymore at a grunge club."

"It was the first time I felt how pitying someone and wanting to fuck them can get all tangled up in your head. Overwhelming sadness, meanwhile you got a Rodney. Is that sick? I think… yeah… I think that's sick."

"I tell him about destiny; he's shaking his head. About dream girls; he doesn't care. I mention the underwear thing? He has a fucking conniption. And you? How 'bout it, filmgoer? Have you solved the case of the - the dead people in L.A.? Times Square audiences, please don't shout at the screen, and stop picking at that, it'll just get worse."

"Don't worry, I saw Lord of the Rings. I'm not going to end this 17 times."

"Wow, I feel sore. I mean physically, not like a guy who's angry in a movie in the 1950's."

"Anyway, by now you may wonder how I wound up here. Or maybe not. Maybe you wonder how silly putty picks shit up from comic books. The point is, I don't see another goddamn narrator, so pipe down."

"And that's how she got to the same party as me. Oh shit. I skipped something. Damn it. This whole robot bit. I made a big deal, then I like totally forgot. Fuck, this is bad narrating. Like my dad telling a joke. "Oh, wait back up. I forgot to tell you the cowboy rode a blue horse." Fuck. Anyway, I don't know if you want to see it now, but here's the fucking robot stuff for your viewing pleasure. Can I say "fuck" more?"

"I sent Harmony home believing A, we'd meet tomorrow to go over her case, and B, I'm not actually gay. Please do not ask me how I did B."

"A bad week in a tough town."

"Sex. Murder. Mystery. Welcome to the party."

"You know what you can do with them dishes. And if you ain't man enough to do it for yourself, I'd be happy to oblige. I really would."

"Lotta rich women back there, Ralph, begging for it, paying for it, too...and the men - they're mostly tutti fruttis. So I'm gonna cash in on some of that, right?...Hell, what do I got to stay around here for? I got places to go, right?"

"Well, sir, I ain't a for-real cowboy. But I am one helluva stud."

"[to himself, in the mirror] You know what you gotta do cowboy."

"[to Ratso] You want me to stay here. You're after somethin'. What are you after? You don't look like a fag."

"We ain't gonna have to steal no more, that's what I'm tryin' to tell ya. I've got eight bucks in my damn pockets, twenty more come Thursday, boy. We're gonna be ridin' easy before very long, I'm gonna tell ya. She went crazy if you want to know the damn truth of it...She turned into a damn alley cat."

"Yours was the only one left with a palm tree on it. The clothes are damn cheap here too, you know that?"

"Everything we got only set us back ten and some... Hey you know, Ratso. Rico, I mean. I got this damn thing all figured out. When we get to Miami, what we'll do is get some sort of job, you know. Cause hell, I ain't no kind of hustler. I mean, there must be an easier way of makin' a living than that. Some sort of outdoors work. What do ya think? Yeah, that's what I'll do. OK Rico? Rico? Rico? Hey, Rico? Rico?"

"[to Joe] Terrific shirt."

"HEY! I'm walkin' here! I'm walkin' here! [bangs hand on car] Up yours, you son-of-a-bitch! You don't talk to me that way! Get outta here! [to Joe] Don't worry about that. Actually, that ain't a bad way to pick up insurance, you know."

"You know, with proper management, you could be takin' home fifty, maybe a hundred dollars a day, easy."

"The X on the windows means the landlord can't collect rent, which is a convenience, on account of it's condemned."

"Got my own private entrance here. You're the only one who knows about it. Watch the plank. Watch the plank. Break your god-damn skull. No way to collect insurance."

"It's not, not bad, huh? There's no heat here, but you know, by the time winter comes, I'll be in Florida."

"You know, in my own place my name ain't Ratso. I mean, it just so happens that in my own place, my name is Enrico Salvatore Rizzo...At least call me Rico in my own god-damn place."

"The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk. Did you know that? That's a fact. In Florida, they got a terrific amount of coconut trees there. In fact, I think they even got 'em in the, uh, gas stations over there. And ladies? You know that in Miami, you got, uh, you listenin' to me? You got more ladies in Miami than in any resort area in the country there. I think per capita on a given day, there's probably, uh, three hundred of 'em on the beach. In fact, you can't even, uh, scratch yourself without gettin' a belly-button, uh, up the old kazoo there."

"End up a hunchback like my old man? If you think I'm crippled, you should have caught him at the end of the day. My old man spent fourteen hours a day down in that subway. He come home at night, two to three hours worth of change stained with shoe polish. Stupid bastard coughed his lungs out from breathin' in that wax all day. Even a faggot undertaker couldn't get his nails clean. They had to bury him with gloves on."

"Not bad, not bad for a cowboy. You're OK. You're OK."

"You want the word on that brother and sister act. Hansel's a fag, and Gretel's got the hots for herself so who cares, right?"

"I don't think I can walk anymore. I've been fallin' down a lot. I'm scared...You know what they do to ya when, when they know you can't, when they find out that you can't walk-walk. Oh Christ."

"[to Joe] I'm gonna use ya. I'm gonna run you ragged...You and me can have fun together. It doesn't have to be joyless."

"I've prayed on the streets. I've prayed in the saloons. I've prayed in the toilets. It don't matter where, so long as He gets that prayer."

"Annie: Do you love me Joe? Do you love me? Love me? You're the only one Joe. You're the only one. You're better Joe. You're better than the rest of 'em. You're better than any of them Joe. You love me Joe. You're better than all of 'em. You're the best Joe."

"Shirley: Like, uh, say, hay, lay, hay, hey, lay, hmmm...gay ends in y. Hmmm? Do you like that?...Gay, fey. Is that your problem, baby?"

"Bus driver: Okay, folks, everything's all right. Nothing to worry about...Okay folks, nothin' to worry about. Just a little illness. We'll be in Miami in just a few minutes."

"Dustin Hoffman - Enrico Salvatore 'Ratso' Rizzo"

"Jon Voight - Joe Buck"

"Sylvia Miles - Cass"

"John McGiver - Mr. O'Daniel"

"Brenda Vaccaro - Shirley"

"Barnard Hughes - Towny"

"Jennifer Salt - Annie"

"Class: so, uh, where were we? Romantic poetry. Shakespeare. Talented. English. Dead."

"This is my Peter - uh, my friend Peter. We just met at the, uh, intersexual... homosection... INTERSECTION!"

"I just came out! At my wedding!"

"I need a heterosexual male, CODE RED!"

"[Yelling outside the bar after Howard won't marry her because he is gay and after Peter Malloy turns down her advances because he is also gay] Is everybody gay? Is this The Twilight Zone?"

"Excuse me, are we a little teapot?"

"For God's sake, don't shake that booty!"

"Think of John Wayne, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold doesn't dance, he can hardly walk."

"Truly manly men do NOT dance."

"Well, how did you do... prissy boy?"

"Glenn Close: [at the Academy Awards] This is Cameron's first nomination and he's in extremely good company. Tonight he joins fellow best actor nominee Paul Newman for "Coot", Clint Eastwood for "Codger", Michael Douglas for "Primary Urges" and Steven Seagal for "Snowball in Hell"."

"Cameron: Maybe I should thank someone else. Someone who's really been there, someone who taught me a lot, about poetry and Shakespeare, and just, y'know, stayin' awake, man. Someone who's just an overall great guy, a great teacher... to Howard Brackett from Greenleaf, Indiana! And he's gay. Y'know, I've been thinking alot about this night, and I've decided to dedicate this whole night to a great, gay teacher. Mr. Brackett, WE WON!"

"Frank Brackett: [about Cameron] He used to mow our lawn. Never again."

"Peter Malloy: A teacher in trouble. A town under siege. A journey to the heartland. Stay tuned."

"Berniece: I need that wedding. I need some beauty and some music and some placecards before I die. It's like heroin."

"Reporter: Should gays be allowed to handle fresh produce?"

"Sonja: I don't have time. I promised to do that photo shoot this afternoon. I have to shower and vomit!"

"Ava Blazer: [after one of the girls announces that she's gay] You can't be gay! You're a tramp!"

"Kevin Kline - Howard Brackett"

"Joan Cusack - Emily Montgomery"

"Tom Selleck - Peter Malloy"

"Matt Dillon - Cameron Drake"

"Debbie Reynolds - Berniece Brackett"

"Wilford Brimley - Frank Brackett"

"Bob Newhart - Tom Halliwell"

"Gregory Jbara - Walter Brackett"

"Shalom Harlow - Sonya"

"Shawn Hatosy - Jack"

"Zak Orth - Mike"

"Lauren Ambrose - Vicky"

"Alexandra Holden - Meredith"

"Man's constant groping of things unknown, drawing from the endless reaches of time, brings to light many startling things. Startling because they seem new...sudden...but most are not new to the signs of the ages. A life...is begun! People...all going somewhere. All with their own thoughts, their own ideas. All with their own personalities. One is wrong because he does right...one is right because he does wrong. Pull the strings! Dance to that, which one is created for. A new day is begun. A new life is begun. A life...is ended."

"Pull the string! Pull the string! A mistake is made. A story must be told."

"Beware...beware! Beware of the big green dragon that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys...puppy dog tails, and big, fat snails. Beware, take care....beware!"

"Only the infinity of the depths of a man's mind can really tell the story."

"Modern man is a hard-working human. Throughout the day his mind and his muscles are busy at building the modern world and its business administration. His clothing is rough, coarse, starched, according to the specifications of his accepted job. At home, what does man have to look forward to for his body comfort? The things provided for his home. A wool or flannel robe, his feet encased in the same thick, tight-fitting leather that his shoes are made of...these are the things provided for his home comfort. It doesn't look so comfortable, does it? And get the hat - or better still get the receding hairline. Men's hats are so tight they cut off the blood flow to the head, thus cutting off the growth of hair. Seven out of ten men wear a hat, so the advertisements say. Seven out of ten men are bald. But what about the ladies? Yes, modern woman is a hard-working individual also. But when modern woman's day of work is done, that which is designed for her comfort IS comfort. Hats that give no obstruction to the bloodflow, hats that do not crush the hair. Interesting thought, isn't it? Just for comparison, let's go native. Back to the animal instinct. There in the lesser civilized part of the world, it's the male who adorns himself with the fancy objects, such as paints, frills, and masks. The true instinct. The animal instinct. Bird and animal life. Is it not so that it's the male who is the fancy one? Could it be that the male was meant to attract the attention of the female? What's so wrong about that? Where is the animal instinct in modern civilization? Female has the fluff and the finery, as specified by those who design and sell. Little Miss Female, you should feel quite proud of the situation. You of course realize it's predominantly men who design your clothes, your jewelry, your makeup, your hair styling, your perfume. But life, even though its changes are slow, moves on. There's no law against wearing such apparel on the street, as long as it can be distinguished that man is man and woman is woman. But, what is it that would happen were this individual to appear on the street? You're doing it now - laughing. Yet, it's not a situation to be laughed at. Thus, the strange case of Glen, who was Glenda, one and the same person. Not half man-half woman, but nevertheless, man and woman in the same body, even though by all outward appearances Glen is fully and completely a man."

"Glen is not a homosexual. Glen is a transvestite, but he is not a homosexual. Transvestism is the term given by medical science to those persons who desperately wish to wear the clothing of the opposite sex, yet whose sex life in all instances remains quite normal. Would you be surprised to know that this rough, tough individual is wearing pink, satin undies under his rough exterior clothing? He is. Then there is your friend the milkman who...who knows how to find comfort at home."

"Glen and all the hundreds of thousands of other Glens across the nation face quite a problem. Glen is engaged to be married to Barbara, a lovely intelligent girl. The problem? Glenda, Glen's other self. The girl that he himself is, his other individual personality."

"Glen's problem is a deep one, but he must tell her...soon...She's begun to notice things: his nails, his eyes when he looks into a lady's store window, so many of the little things that are so hard to hide. Soon she will realize. Then there was the time Barbara was wearing the sweater Glen had always wanted to feel on his own body. It was becoming an obsession to him. He must have it."

"Always the same. He's not had the nerve to tell her. But he must soon come to some conclusion or forget the marriage. Should he tell Barbara of his Glenda now, before the wedding, or hit her between the eyes with it after, when it might be too late for either of them. The world is a strange place to live in. All those cars, all going someplace, all carrying humans, which are carrying out their lives. The world is shocked by a person who changed his sex. Glenda is shocked also, but by another reason: Someone like her had the nerve to do something factual about their situation. There are so many problems for Glen and all the other Glens. Perhaps the fear of discovery of the underthings they wear beneath their regular outer clothing, or that which they wear during their nightly visit to Morpheus, God of Sleep."

"The homosexual, it is true, does adopt the clothing or the makeup of a woman to lure the members of his own sex. But this is not so for the transvestite. The transvestite is not interested in those of their own sex. The clothing is not worn to attract the attention of their own sex, but to eliminate themselves from being a member of that sex."

"The end is only the beginning. Time passes, soon, due to a happily married life, the remembrance of the psychiatric treatments, and Barbara's love and understanding, Glenda begins to disappear forever from Glen. Glen has found his mother, his little sister, his wife, and his Glenda all in one lovely package. Thus Glen's case has a happy conclusion."

"Barbara: Once, long ago, just after we started going steady together, we promised we'd never lie to each other. Are we gonna start now, just because we're engaged to be married?"

"Johnny: Our whole existence is one big problem after another."

"Glen/Glenda: My mind's in a muddle, like in a thick fog. I can't make sense to myself sometimes. I thought I could stop wearing these things. I tried, honestly I tried. I haven't had a stitch of them on for nearly two weeks until tonight. Then I couldn't stand it any more. I had to put them on or go out of my mind. I'm afraid I'll lose her. I don't want that to happen because I really love her."

"He Loved Women So Much, He Dared To Dress Like One!"

"What am I... MALE or FEMALE!"

"The strange case of a "man" who changed his SEX!"

"Strange Loves... of those who live and love but can not marry!"

"What Was "His" Sex...? A Daring Expose Of A Modern Problem..."

"Bela Lugosi - Scientist"

"Lyle Talbot - Insp. Warren"

"Timothy Farrell - Dr. Alton/Narrator"

"Dolores Fuller - Barbara"

"Edward D. Wood Jr. - Glen/Glenda (appearing as Daniel Davis)"

"Charles Crafts - Johnny"

"Typical James, tired old drug addict. Can't even stay awake for your own movie!"

"I wanted to create my own world. A world full of color where everyone could play. One big party that never ends."

"You'll love me. I promise."

"We'll put James in a cage and hang a sign over it that says, "Do not feed the drug child!""

"The road of excess leads to the palace of... fabulousness!"

"Oh please, party in the truck!"

"I won't do crack without heroin!"

"But it's my birthday and I want a bloodfeast!"

"That's not a crack hole, that's a rat hole. Rats on crack attack!"

"You're just some lame-ass, Johnny-come-lately, fairy, faggot, copycat! You don't even know your skrink from your skrod! You stupid logger blogger!"

"Oh James, I'm getting away with murder and you're just jealous."

"That's Skrink la do, to you."

"..Not that it's your movie. You think it's yours. But it's really mine. All mine."

"Come to my party. You can be my boyfriend."

"Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3. Testosterone, testicular cancer, Tess of the D'urbervilles."

"I don't do. I just am."

"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. Blake, William. That's really all you need to know. That and "Don't dream it, be it!""

"Michael was growing on me. Like a fungus."

"The North Pole! I've made it across the frozen tundra. My faithful huskies perished in the blizzard way back. I had to eat them."

"Darling, half the fun of eating meat is hacking it up."

"I am not addicted to drugs, I'm addicted to glamor!"

"Mm, lightly toasted animal tranquilizer."

"It doesn't matter what you look like! I mean if you have a hunchback, just throw a little glitter on it, honey, and go dancing."

"It was better than a ten-inch dick and you know it!"

"Elke: He was always making money. He just had a knack for it. My little candy man."

"Christina: How do you like my UFO?"

"Police Officer: [trying to pick Christina up] Let's go, sweetheart. You're a big girl."

"good. evil. fun."

"Money, Success, Fame, Glamour"

"Seth Green - James St. James"

"Macaulay Culkin - Michael Alig"

"Diana Scarwid - Elke"

"Chloë Sevigny - Gitsie"

"Marilyn Manson - Christina"

"Dylan McDermott - Peter Gatien"

"Mia Kirshner- Natasha"

"Wilmer Valderrama - Keoki"

"Daniel Franzese - The Rat/Dallas MC"

"Natasha Lyonne - Brooke"

"Elliot Kriss - Cabbie"

"Wilson Cruz - Angel"

"You know, I never knew what love was until I met your mother. And by then it was too late."

"If I have to wear a tux, she has to wear a bra."

"I said you look like a man in need of a coke."

"[on the phone] The lad doesn't say much, and when he does, he finds just the right words to crush my soul. Of course I'm crazy about him."

"You should write these kiss-offs down. How to crush a woman's soul in ten words or less. That was ten, wasn't it? [counting] You're-terrific-Sensational-really-but-I'm-not-right-for-you. Yep. Ten."

"I should be alone. Alone in hell. That's where I am."

"If romance is a mystery, there's only one way to figure it out."

"The comedy with a twist."

"The sexy comedy with a twist."

"Gillian Anderson - Meredith"

"Ellen Burstyn - Mildred"

"Sean Connery - Paul"

"Anthony Edwards - Roger"

"Angelina Jolie - Joan"

"Jay Mohr - Mark"

"Ryan Phillippe - Keenan"

"Dennis Quaid - Hugh"

"Gena Rowlands - Hannah"

"Jon Stewart - Trent"

"Madeleine Stowe - Gracie"

"Everyone promises you happily ever after... but life turns into a different kind of fairy tale."

"You make me feel something I absolutely cannot feel."

"[reading to coworkers] In her acceptance speech, the distinguished scientist paid tribute to her husband, Dr. Chris Davis. Tomorrow the pair celebrate their 42nd wedding anniversary after eloping together on the day they met. When asked how they could possibly have known that it would all work out, Professor Harrison replied in true scientific fashion: "We don't know, you can never be sure. But you take the plunge anyway. Sure is for people who don't love enough.""

"You're a wanker, number nine!"

"I think you know immediately. As soon as your eyes meet... Then everything that happens from then on just proves that you have been right in that first moment. When you suddenly realize that you were incomplete and now you are whole..."

"[to Rachel] You know I want you to be happy. And more than anything, I wanted to be the cause of happiness in you."

"Well, let's hang these flowers and get that jacket in some water."

"[Rachel wants to have sex in a park late at night] We've got a flat. It's a good one. And I've confiscated your mother's key so she can't sneak up on us anymore. I swear that woman's got a sex radar."

"Three cheers for my husband, as much use as a fart in a jam jar."

"Cooper, that trollop. That man would shag an open wound."

"Will you fuck off with the fucking candles?"

"Later on tonight, we're going to fall madly in bed."

"I'm a cure for lesbianism."

"Ned: I love the smell of hot dogs in the evening. Smells like... hot dogs."

"Edie: She's not just heterosexual, she's barbie heterosexual!"

"There Goes The Bride."

"The path to true love isn't always straight..."

"Piper Perabo – Rachel"

"Lena Headey – Luce"

"Matthew Goode – Heck"

"Celia Imrie – Tessa"

"Anthony Head – Ned"

"Darren Boyd – Cooper"

"Sue Johnston – Ella"

"Boo Jackson – H (Henrietta)"

"Sharon Horgan – Beth"

"Eva Birthistle – Edie"

"Actors don't like to play coma. They feel it limits their range."

"I would like to voice my strong concern about this show's spiraling decline in ratings. David, ever since you took us to the Caribbean, it's been Jamaica homeless people sucking soup, and a big wave outside that cost a hundred thousand dollars. That's depressing and it's expensive, two words I hate. You know the words I like? I like the word "peppy" and the word "cheap". Peppy and cheap."

"All that glitter... All that glamour... All that dirt."

"A Deliciously Malicious Comedy."

"Sally Field - Celeste Talbert / "Maggie""

"Kevin Kline - Jeffrey Anderson / "Dr. Rod Randall""

"Robert Downey, Jr. - David Seton Barnes"

"Cathy Moriarty - Montana Moorehead / "Nurse Nan""

"Elisabeth Shue - Lori Craven / "Angelique""

"Whoopi Goldberg - Rose Schwartz"

"Carrie Fisher - Betsy Faye Sharon"

"Garry Marshall - Edmund Edwards"

"Teri Hatcher - Ariel Maloney / "Dr. Monica Demonico""

"Kathy Najimy - Tawny Miller"

"Paul Johansson - Blair Brennan / "Bolt""

"Sheila Kelley - Fran"

"I'm not perverted! I get good grades! I go to church! I'm a cheerleader! I'm not like all of you!"

"I refuse to accept a false solution to my problem. I resist temptation and seek to solve my problem."

"Women have roles. After you learn that, you'll stop objectifying them."

"I'm a homosexual! I'm a homosexual! I'm a homosexual! I'm a homosexual! [...] Oh my god... they were right. I'm a homo. [cries]"

"I need you to teach me how to be a lesbian. What they wear, what they eat, where they live"

"I thought it was just an act, but you really are sweet as fucking pie, aren't you?"

"You are who you are. The only trick is not getting caught."

"Would you tie her to your bed and zap her to death? Or are you running low on batteries?"

"Foreplay is for sissies! Real men go in, unload and pull out!"

"I have told you over and over again! No more sipping! Chug it, like a man! Go on, chug!"

"[to Megan]: Get out of bed! You hormonal hussy! I can't believe you did this!"

"[to Graham] It's your choice; you can run off with Megan and turn into a raging bull-dyke, or you can do the simulation and graduate and lead a normal life."

"“Don't you see how sad and pathetic you all are! Boys… always wanting something ... you can't have? If I catch you looking at another man like that ever again, you'll be watching sports the whole weekend!”"

"“Jan, you were molested … I mean just take a look at yourself”"

"No, I didn't go to the Cocksucker. I've never been to the Cocksucker. I won't. My cocksucking days are over. I am normal."

"[to Graham]: You are so good at being straight."

"Megan's Dad: Dear Lord, please bless this food that we are about to eat. We thank you for the abundance that You have provided. Please help us to follow Your path, the one you intended us all to follow. And Lord... please help us to obey the roles in life You set for us. For all that is natural and... healthy... and sacred, in Your name we pray. Amen."

"Andre: [about Graham] She's just upset, because the fish on her plate is the only kind she can eat."

"Narrator of True Direction video: No one would have guessed what would happen to this sweet little girl. By a young age, Kelly had a promising future: mommy's little helper and prom queen. Kelly had hopes to be a model one day. That is... until she was recruited into the homosexual lifestyle."

"True Direction's motto: Straight is great."

"Sign: Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks."

"All: [singing]: 5, 6, 7, 8, God is good, God is straight. 1, 2, 3, 4, inverts we will be no more. 5, 6, 7, 8, God is good, God is straight."

"Natasha Lyonne - Megan Bloomfield"

"Clea DuVall - Graham Eaton"

"Cathy Moriarty - Mary Brown"

"RuPaul Charles - Mike"

"Mink Stole - Nancy Bloomfield"

"Bud Cort - Peter Bloomfield"

"Eddie Cibrian - Rock Brown"

"Melanie Lynskey - Hilary Vandermueller"

"Wesley Mann - Lloyd Morgan-Gordon"

"Joel Michaely - Joel Goldberg"

"Richard Moll - Larry Morgan-Gordon"

"Kip Pardue - Clayton Dunn"

"Dante Basco - Dolph"

"Douglas Spain - Andre"

"Katrina Phillips - Jan"

"Katharine Towne - Sinead Lauren"

"Brandt Wille - Jared"

"Michelle Williams - Kimberly"

"Julie Delpy - Lipstick Lesbian"

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to drag you from your delicious desserts. [pause] There are just one or two little things I feel I should say, as best man. This is only the second time I've been a best man. I hope I did OK that time. The couple in question are at least still talking to me. Unfortunately, they're not actually talking to each other. The divorce came through a couple of months ago. But I'm assured it had absolutely nothing to do with me. Paula knew Piers had slept with her sister before I mentioned it in the speech. The fact that he'd slept with her mother came as a surprise, but I think was incidental to the nightmare of recrimination and violence that became their two-day marriage. Anyway, enough of that. My job today is to talk about Angus. There are no skeletons in his cupboard. [pause] Or so I thought. I'll come on to that in a minute. I would just like to say this. I am, as ever, in bewildered awe of anyone who makes this kind of commitment that Angus and Laura have made today. I know I couldn't do it and I think it's wonderful they can. So, back to Angus and those sheep."

"[Carrie asks Charles's opinion on her wedding dress] It is dangerous! You know, there's nothing more off-putting in a wedding than a priest with an enormous erection, yech!"

"Oh, I don't know, Charlie. Unlike you, I never expected "the thunderbolt." I always just hoped that, that I'd meet some nice friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, then pop the question and, um, settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that."

"The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid: People are less suspicious of you."

"Gareth: A toast before we go into battle. True love. In whatever shape or form it may come. May we all in our dotage be proud to say, "I was adored once too.""

"Matthew: [At Gareth's funeral] Gareth used to prefer funerals to weddings. He said it was easier to get enthusiastic about a ceremony one had an outside chance of eventually being involved in. [Pause] In order to prepare this speech, I rang a few people, to get a general picture of how Gareth was regarded by those who met him. Fat seems to be a word people most connected with him. Terribly rude also rang a lot of bells. So very fat and very rude seems to have been a stranger's viewpoint. [pause] On the other hand, some of you have been kind enough to ring me to tell me that you loved him, which I know he'd be thrilled to hear. You remember his fabulous hospitality... his strange experimental cooking. The recipe for "Duck à la Banana" fortunately goes with him to his grave. Most of all, you tell me of his enormous capacity for joy. When joyful, when joyful for highly vocal drunkenness. [pause] But joyful is how I hope you'll remember him. Not stuck in a box in a church. Pick your favourite of his waistcoats and remember him that way. The most splendid, replete, big-hearted, weak-hearted as it turned out, and jolly bugger most of us ever met. As for me, you may ask how I will remember him, what I thought of him. Unfortunately, there I run out of words. Perhaps you will forgive me if I turn from my own feelings to the words of another splendid bugger: W. H. Auden. This is actually what I want to say: "Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone. Silence the pianos and with muffled drum, Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come. Let the aeroplanes circle, moaning overhead, Scribbling on the sky the message 'He is Dead'. Put crepe bows 'round the white necks of the public doves, Let traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves. He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest; My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song. I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong. The stars are not wanted now; put out every one, Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood, For nothing now can ever come to any good.""

"He's quite engaging. She's otherwise engaged."

"An Outrageously Funny Affair"

"Five good reasons to stay single"

"Love is on the air, run for cover"

"Hugh Grant – Charles"

"Andie MacDowell – Carrie"

"James Fleet – Tom"

"Simon Callow – Gareth"

"John Hannah – Matthew"

"Kristin Scott Thomas – Fiona"

"David Bower – David"

"Charlotte Coleman – Scarlett"

"Rowan Atkinson – Father Gerald"

"Anna Chancellor – Henrietta ("Duckface")"

"David Haig – Bernard"

"Sophie Thompson – Lydia"

"Roll up, roll up! The Vestal Virgins versus the Sabine women. A glorious rape in colour."

"Here comes Messalina. Girls, tend your fires. Or she'll be in by the back door."

"I don't know why you fancy boys so much, Anthony. You're worse than a Greek. They're okay for a quick one. But I can't wait for Rome and a real woman."

"His beauty is enhanced by his anger. It is his anger which is divine. His punishments are like Christ's promise. He takes me in his arm and caresses my bleeding body. I want to be with him. I love him."

"Barney James - Severus"

"Neil Kennedy - Maximus"

"Leonardo Treviglio - Sebastian"

"Richard Warwick - Justin"

"Donald Dunham -Claudius"

"Daevid Finbar - Julian"

"Ken Hicks - Adrian"

"Lindsay Kemp - Dancer"

"Steffano Massari - Marius"

"Janusz Romanov - Anthony"

"Gerald Incandela - Leopard Boy"

"Robert Medley - Emperor Diocletian"

"Because through love, we feel the intensity of our connection to everything and everyone. And at the core we are all the same. We're all one."

"Erin Kelly – Annabelle Tillman"

"Diane Gaidry – Simone Bradley"

"Laura Breckenridge – Colins"

"Michelle Horn – Kristen"

"Gustine Fudickar – Catherine ("Cat") Pegrum"

"Ilene Graff – Mother Immaculata"

"Markus Flanagan – Michael"

"Kevin McCarthy – Father Harris"

"The controversial story of a highly accomplished Catholic school teacher, who falls in love with her student, Annabelle."

"No rain, he tells me. No rain, he says. No rain! Fucking weather man!"

"[screams and curses in Spanish] My hairs! Not my hairs!"

"[after kissing Proclo] Oh, my boyfriend Hectar see me do that, he kill you with a knife this big! [touches her elbow]"

"Some day, you're going to see the name of Googie Gomez in lights and you're going to say to yourself [gasps] was that her? And you're gonna answer to yourself, [gasps] that was her! But you know something, mister? I was always her, just that nobody knows it!"

"Plastic Puerto Ricans!"

"Who the hell was that?!"

"[amazed] Ronald Reagan?!"

"Do I look like someone who would try to pass a bad check? Yeah? Yeah, of course I do!"

"Chubby chaser. Hey, that's pretty funny. Unless you happen to be the chubby they're chasing."

"Jelly roll, baby! You're my jelly roll man!"

"If you're not down in my room in five minutes, then I'm gonna come up here and break your knees!"

"I'm going straight."

"It's like some strange heterosexual gypsy curse was put on this place!"

"There will be an orgy beginning in room 340 in exactly 4 minutes! Orgy in 340, 4 minutes!"

"Customer: Did they ever put you on 4? It's Siberia up there!"

"Tiger: Alright, fat man, leave the little guy alone! What do you think this is, a YMCA?"

"Brick: One of those transvestites is standing right next to me. I can't talk now, I think he's surrounding me for unnatural things! And: See anything you like, Bud?"

"Man in Elevator: There's a reason some of us don't ride the subway. I'm looking right at it."

"Abe: We've got a nightclub, movies, swimming pool, steam room, massage table, discotheque, bridge, amateur night, and free blood tests every Wednesday."

"The funny season begins when you check in for a night at The Ritz."

"Hiding out from the Mafia can be an awful drag!"

"...your key to hilarity."

"Jack Weston - Gaetano Proclo"

"Rita Moreno - Googie Gomez"

"Jerry Stiller - Carmine Vespucci"

"Kaye Ballard - Vivian Proclo"

"F. Murray Abraham - Chris"

"Paul B. Price - Claude Perkins"

"Treat Williams - Michael Brick"

"John Everson - Tiger"

"Can't you see I'm cooking scrapple!"

"My pussy's on fire!"

"PINK STEEL!"

"I'm just Sylvia Stickles, I'm a horny woman with a head injury."

"Help me to keep my sexual sobriety!"

"I'm Sylvia, and my clitoris is in crisis"

"I'm Sylvia Stickles and I've got the itch!"

"A concussion is a terrible thing to waste."

"I've got a hard-on of gold, and my tongue is on fire."

"One day we're going to discover a brand new sex act, one that's never been performed before. And we hope you'll be with us on that day of carnal rapture!"

"A man has needs, Sylvia! Marital needs!"

"We got blatant homosexuals shopping right in our store. They eat life you know. Sperm!"

"Did you see those new neighbors moving in? Grown men with hairy legs prancing around half-naked? "We're bears." What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"Filthy little hedges, growing all dirty! Makes me sick!"

"I read in the paper the other day that the average married couple has sex over 100 times a year! That's a lie, people would be raw if that was true!"

"I'm going to call the postmaster general — if he's not whacking off! — and report your potty mouth!"

"Tracey Ullman - Sylvia Stickles"

"Johnny Knoxville - Ray Ray Perkins"

"Selma Blair - Caprice Stickles"

"Chris Isaak - Vaughn Stickles"

"Suzanne Shepherd - Big Ethel"

"Mink Stole - Marge the Neuter"

"Patricia Hearst - Paige"

"I'm a connoisseur of roads. I've been tasting roads my whole life. This road will never end. It probably goes all around the world."

"I always know where I am by the way the road looks. Like, I just know that I've been here before, I just know that I've been stuck here like this one fucking time before, you know that? yeah."

"There's not another road anywhere that looks like this road, I mean exactly like this road. It's one kind of place, one of a kind. Like someone's face. Like a fucked-up face."

"This is a nice home. Do you live here?... I don't blame you."

"This chick's living in a new car ad."

"When I left home the maid asked me where I was off to, I said 'Wherever, whatever, have a nice day.'"

"When I turn 21, I don't want any more of this life. My mother and father will be surprised at the incredible change. It will impress them more when such a fuck-up like me turns good than if I had been a good son all along. All my bad behavior I'm going to throw away to pay my debt. I will change when everybody expects it the least."

"I never thought I could make it as a real model, you know fashion-orientated modelling, 'cause I'm better at full body poses. It's alright so long as the photographer doesn't come on to you and expect something for nothing. I'm trying to make a living. I like to have a professional attitude. 'Course if the guy wants to pay me, then hell - yeah. Here I am for him. I'll sell my ass, I do it on the street occasionally for cash. Or I'll be on the cover of a book. It's when you start doing things for free that you start to grow wings. Isn't that right, Mike?"

"Hey Mike, stay here and when you wake up come back into town and I'll be waiting for you. You'll be safer here in this comfy neighbourhood than in a city. I grew up in a neighborhood like this. With my dad. He has more fucking righteous gall than all the property and people he lords over. And those he also created. like me his son, but I almost get sick thinking that I am a son to him. You know you have to be as good as him to keep up, you have to be able to lift as big a weight, you have to be able to throw that weight as far. Or make as much money. Or be as heartless. To hold your ground. My dad doesn't realize I'm just a kid. He thinks I'm a threat."

"When you wake up, wipe the slugs off your face. Be ready for a new day."

"Why, you wouldn't even look at a clock unless hours were lines of coke, dials looked like the signs of gay bars, or time itself was a fair hustler in black leather. There is no reason to know the time. We are timeless."

"Some people take your heart, others take your shoes, and still others take you home."

"It's not where you go, it's how you get there."

"Wherever, whatever, have a nice day."

"River Phoenix - Mike Waters"

"Keanu Reeves - Scott Favor"

"William Richert - Bob Pigeon"

"Flea - Bud"

"Udo Kier - Hans"

"James Russo - Richard Waters"

"Grace Zabriskie - Alena"

"Rodney Harvey - Gary"

"You don't know what it's like to be straight, OK? It's... awful."

"I never wash my pants. I like to keep the night on them."

"Well, you're two penises short of a Shania Twain reimagination band!"

"[to a random person at the bus station] Um... hi. I'm Caroline. What's your name?... You know what, that's okay. You don't have to tell me. It's been like one of those nights, you know? I was with my friend Norah, who you don't know, but you'd really like her because everybody likes Norah and she... left me tonight which is - she never does that and then I was kidnapped. And then, she... usually when I go home with her she... she makes me a turkey sandwich when I get home, but I might never get home, you know? And I'm so tired. [looks down and notices what is in his lap] Is that a turkey sandwich?"

"Michael Cera - Nick"

"Kat Dennings - Norah"

"Aaron Yoo - Thom"

"Rafi Gavron - Dev"

"Ari Graynor - Caroline"

"Alexis Dziena - Tris"

"Jonathan B. Wright - Beefy Guy - Lothario"

"Zachary Booth - Gary"

"Jay Baruchel - Tal"

"Time to raise some hell."

"Deliver us some evil."

"Fear the second coming."

"Get a load of Chucky."

"Brad Dourif - the voice of Chucky"

"Jennifer Tilly - herself / the voice of Tiffany"

"Billy Boyd - the voice of Glen"

"Redman - himself"

"Hannah Spearritt - Joan"

"John Waters - Pete Peters"

"Jason Flemyng - himself / Santa"

"Steve Lawton - Stan"

"Tony Gardner - himself"

"Rebecca Santos - Fulvia"

"Keith-Lee Castle - Bill “Psychs” Sykes"

"Paul Grossman - Little Boy"

"Simon James Morgan - Richard"

"Stephanie Chambers - Claudia's mom"

"Betty Simons-Denville - Claudia"

"[placidly dusts framed photos, suddenly drops one] FUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!"

"When that doctor walked in my fear melted like ... snow in a ... melter."

"[after her third dog dies] Oh, COME ON!"

"[puts in false teeth, glass eye, and puts wig on] Hello, gorgeous!"

"So I said, why am I laughing? We're doing it doggy style and your name is Barker!"

"You know, they offered me that commercial for Depends. Lot of money, too! Just one little problem: I don't shit my pants."

"[in her movie Asteroid] Accordin' to my calculat-er, the asteroid will penetrate the ass-mosphere in 15 minutes!"

"I AM woman! ERA now!"

"[glancing down at beeper] Oh, fooey, I'm going to be late for my love game!"

"Thank you, sir! My pimp and I appreciate your business!"

"Feelings are like treasures, so bury them."

"Jack Plotnick - Evie"

"Clinton Leupp - Coco (as Coco Peru)"

"Jeffery Roberson - Varla / Marla"

"Ron Mathews - Stevie"

"Eric Stonestreet - Dr. Benson"

"Hamilton von Watts - Laurent"

"Dana Gould - Jeff"

"Chad Lindsey - Dr. Perfect"

"Life is a trip, but the afterlife is one hell of a ride."

"An Offbeat Comedy, A Love Story, A Road Movie - But Everybody's Dead"

"You don't know what you have until you lose it."

"Love will always exist, even after you've "offed" yourself."

"Nobody's Perfect"

"Patrick Fugit - Zia"

"Shannyn Sossamon - Mikal"

"Shea Whigham - Eugene"

"Leslie Bibb - Desiree Randolph"

"Tom Waits - Kneller"

"Mark Boone, Jr. - Mike"

"Clayne Crawford - Jim"

"Will Arnett - Messiah King"

"Nick Offerman - Cop"

"Mary Pat Gleason - Eugene's mother"

"Anatol Rezmeritza - Eugene's father"

"Cameron Bowen - Kostya"

"Abraham Benrubi - Erik"

"John Hawkes - Yan"

"Anthony Azizi - Hassan"

"Sarah Roemer - Rachel"

"Azura Skye - Tania"

"Mikal P. Lazarev as Nanuk"

"Adam G. - Gas station attendant"

"Jazzmun and George Weiss Vando - Transvestites"

"Amy Seimetz - Nina"

"Jake Busey (uncredited) - Brian"

"Eddie Steeples (uncredited) - Josh"

"Maria Elena used to say that only unfulfilled love can be romantic."

"We are meant for each other and not meant for each other. It's a contradiction."

"Life is short. Life is dull. Life is full of pain. And this is a chance for something special."

"I'll go to your room, but you'll have to seduce me."

"If you don't start undressing me soon this is going to turn into a panel discussion."

"I just have to come face to face with the fact that I’m not gifted. I can appreciate art and I like music, but it’s sad, really because I feel like I have a lot to express, and I’m not gifted."

"Vicky and Cristina decided to spend the summer in Barcelona. Vicky was completing her master's in Catalan Identity, which she had become interested in through her great affection for the architecture of Gaudí. Cristina, who spent the last six months writing, directing, and acting in a 12-minute film which she then hated, had just broken up with yet another boyfriend and longed for a change of scenery. Everything fell into place when a distant relative of Vicky's family who lived in Barcelona offered to put both girls up for July and August. The two best friends had been close since college and shared the same tastes and opinions on most matters, yet when it came to the subject of love, it would be hard to find two more dissimilar viewpoints. Vicky had no tolerance for pain and no lust for combat. She was grounded and realistic. Her requirements in a man were seriousness and stability. She had become engaged to Doug because he was decent and successful and understood the beauty of commitment...Cristina, on the other hand, expected something very different out of love. She had reluctantly accepted suffering as an inevitable component of deep passion, and was resigned to putting her feelings at risk. If you asked her what it was she was gambling her emotions on to win, she would not have been able to say. She knew what she didn't want, however, and that was exactly what Vicky valued above all else."

"Vicky returned home to have her grand wedding to Doug. To the house they finally planned to settle in. And to lead the life she envisioned for herself, before that summer in Barcelona. Cristina continued searching... certain only, of what she didn't want."

"Rebecca Hall - Vicky"

"Scarlett Johansson - Cristina"

"Javier Bardem - Juan Antonio Gonzalo"

"Penélope Cruz - María Elena"

"Chris Messina - Doug"

"Patricia Clarkson - Judy Nash"

"Kevin Dunn - Mark Nash"

"We're standing here in Philadelphia, the, uh, city of brotherly love, the birthplace of freedom, where the, uh, founding fathers authored the Declaration of Independence, and I don't recall that glorious document saying anything about all straight men are created equal. I believe it says all men are created equal."

"Now, explain it to me like I'm a two-year-old."

"Some of these people make me sick, Philco. But a law's been broken. You remember the law, don't you?"

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Forget everything you've seen on television and in the movies. There's not gonna be any last minute surprise witnesses. Nobody's gonna break down on the stand with a tearful confession. You're gonna be presented with a simple fact: Andrew Beckett was fired. You'll hear two explanations for why he was fired: ours and theirs. It is up to you to sift through layer upon layer of truth until you determine for yourselves which version sounds the most true. There are certain points that I must prove to you."

"Point number one, Andrew Beckett was - is a brilliant lawyer, great lawyer. Point number two, Andrew Beckett, afflicted with a debilitating disease, made the understandable, the personal, the legal choice to keep the fact of his illness to himself. Point number three, his employers discovered his illness, and ladies and gentlemen, the illness I am referring to is AIDS. Point number four, they panicked. And in their panic, they did what most of us would like to do with AIDS, which is just get it, and everybody who has it, as far away from the rest of us as possible.Now, the behavior of Andrew Beckett's employers may seem reasonable to you. It does to me. After all, AIDS is a deadly, incurable disease. But no matter how you come to judge Charles Wheeler and his partners in ethical, moral, and in human terms, the fact of the matter is, when they fired Andrew Beckett because he had AIDS, they broke the law."

"No one would take on his case... until one man was willing to take on the system."

"Tom Hanks - Andrew Beckett"

"Denzel Washington - Joe Miller"

"Jason Robards - Charles Wheeler"

"Antonio Banderas - Miguel Alvarez"

"Mary Steenburgen - Belinda Conine"

"Joanne Woodward - Sarah Beckett"

"Bradley Whitford - Jamey Collins"

"Charles Napier - Judge Garnett"

"Joey Perillo - Filko"

"This is Harvey Milk speaking- Friday, November the 18th. This is only to be played in the event of my death by assassination."

"I fully realize that someone who stands for what I stand for... an activist, a gay activist... makes themself a target for someone who is insecure, frightened, terrified, and disturbed themselves. It's a very real possibility you see because — in San Francisco... we have broken the dam of major prejudice in this country."

"I wish I had time to explain all the things that I did. Almost everything was done with an eye on the gay movement."

"Forty years old — and I haven't done a thing that I'm proud of."

"We need one of our own in office."

"I'm not the candidate. I'm part of a movement. The movement is the candidate - there is a difference. You don't see it. I do."

"How do you "teach" homosexuality? Is it like French?"

"(on his new look) I'm not gonna let those Pacific Heights biddies write me off because of a ponytail. And I like it. No more pot, no more bathhouses for me and my little poo."

"I don't think state assembly seats should be the reward for service to the Democratic Party machine. Machines run on oil and grease. They're dirty, they're dehumanizing, and they tend to be entirely unresponsive to the needs of anybody but those of their operator."

"I don't want to see another sign that says fucking "Machine" on it because this three-time "faggot loser" is running for Supervisor."

"I know you're angry! (cheers) I'm angry! Let us march the streets of San Francisco and share our anger!"

"(to Cleve) March them right up to the steps of City Hall. When things start to look really bad- the city's first gay supervisor... will come out and play peacemaker. Do it with me. (Gives Cleve the bullhorn)"

"My name is Harvey Milk and I'm here to recruit you. I want to recruit you for the fight to preserve your democracy. Brothers and sisters, you must come out! Come out to your parents, come out to your friends, if indeed they are your friends. Come out to your neighbors, come out to your fellow workers. Once and for all, let's break down the myths and destroy the lies and distortions. For your sake, for their sake. For the sake of all the youngsters who have been scared by the votes from Dade to Eugene. On the Statue of Liberty it says, 'Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free.' In the Declaration of Independence, it is written, 'All men are created equal and endowed with certain inalienable rights.' So for Mr. Briggs and Mrs. Bryant, and all the bigots out there, no matter how hard you try, you can never erase those words from the Declaration of Independence! No matter how hard you try, you can never chip those words from the base of the Statue of Liberty! That is where America is! Love it or leave it!"

"This is shit. Shit and masturbation. This is just a coward's response to a dangerous threat."

"Tonight, it's become clear to everyone out there that they do know one of us, and now that they do, they can see that we are not sick. They can feel that we are not wrong. And they know that there must be, that there should be a place for us in this great country, in this world. A message of hope has been sent to all those young people, to all of those who have been afraid by this wave of hate, to all of those who have lost their homes, lost their hometowns. Tonight, we are clear that there is a place for us! My brothers and sisters, we can come home again."

"Without hope, life's not worth living. So you, and you, and you... You gotta give 'em hope."

"(after first meeting Harvey) Not interested, old man."

"What are you, some sort of street shrink?"

"Fuck that. Elections of any kind are nothing more than a fucking bourgeois affectation."

"At least now you look gay."

"Out of the bar and into the streets; Anita Bryant is coming for you!"

"(on Dan White) Is it just me or is he cute?"

"The new Mrs. Milk. I give it a week."

"Sean Penn - Harvey Milk"

"Josh Brolin - Dan White"

"James Franco - Scott Smith"

"Emile Hirsch - Cleve Jones"

"Diego Luna - Jack Lira"

"Allison Pill - Anne Kronenberg"

"His life changed history. His courage changed lives."

"Never blend in"

"If I could just go back... if I could rub everything out... starting with myself."

"I always thought it would be better to be a fake somebody than a real nobody."

"You're the brother I never had. I'm the brother you never had. I would do anything for you, Dickie."

"I really feel happy. As if I had been handed a whole new life."

"I could live Dickie's life for him."

"Well, whatever you do, however terrible, however hurtful, it all makes sense, doesn't it, in your head. You never meet anybody that thinks they're a bad person."

"[while planning to kill Marge] And that's the irony, Marge. I loved you. You may as well know it, Marge: I loved you. I don't know... maybe it's grotesque of me to say this now, so just write it on a piece of paper or something and put it in your purse for a rainy day. 'Tom loves me.' 'Tom loves me.'"

"You know, without the glasses you're not even ugly."

"I could fuck this ice box, I love it so much."

"Now you'll find out why Ms. Sherwood shows up for breakfast, Tom. It's not love, it's my coffee machine."

""See Venice and die," is what they say? Or is it Rome?"

"I can't write and I can't spell. That's the privilege of a first class education."

"Marge — Ripley can't ski. We'll have to teach him that too. Such low class, Marge. Does this guy know anything?"

"I love the fact that you brought Shakespeare with you and no clothes. Ermelinda says you wash the same shirt out every night. Is that true?"

"Why is it when men play they always play at killing each other?"

"Dick? Dickie? I know you can hear me. What am I doing, chasing you around...? I was going to say I would count to three and if you didn't open the door, but I won't count any more. On you. I won't count on you any more. Whatever it is, whatever you've done or haven't done, you've broken my heart. That's one thing I know you're guilty of, and I don't know why. [crying] I don't know why, I just don't know why..."

"You know, people always say that you can't choose your parents, but you can't choose your children..."

"What a waste of lives and opportunities. [abruptly turning his attention to a street musician] I'd pay that fellow $100 right now to shut up."

"Officially, there are no Italian homosexuals. It makes Michelangelo and Leonardo very inconvenient."

"Good things about Mr. Ripley? Could take some time. Tom is talented. Tom is tender... Tom is beautiful... Tom is a mystery. Tom is not a nobody. Tom has secrets he doesn't want to tell me, and I wish he would. Tom has nightmares. That's not a good thing. Tom has someone to love him. That is a good thing. Tom is crushing me. Tom is crushing me... Tom, you're crushing me!"

"I don't care for B.S. I don't care to hear it. I don't care to speak it."

"Mr. Greenleaf also feels there was a silent promise in Dickie's letter to you which he intends to honor. He intends to transfer a good part of Dickie's income from his trust into your name. He doesn't intend on giving the Italian police any information about Dickie's past. He's rather hoping that you will feel the same."

"Oh God! Don't you want to fuck every woman you see just once?"

"[upon seeing Tom spying on Dickie and Marge] Tommy, how's the peeping? Tommy, how's the peeping? Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy?"

"Hey, if I'm late, you should hear what her husband's saying!"

"Matt Damon as Tom Ripley"

"Gwyneth Paltrow as Marge Sherwood"

"Jude Law as Dickie Greenleaf"

"Cate Blanchett as Meredith Logue"

"Philip Seymour Hoffman as Freddie Miles"

"Jack Davenport as Peter Smith-Kingsley"

"James Rebhorn as Herbert Greenleaf"

"Sergio Rubini as Inspector Roverini"

"Philip Baker Hall as Alvin MacCarron"

"Celia Weston as Aunt Joan"

"My body may be a work in progress, but there's nothing wrong with my soul."

"Shit! I mean, darn! I mean, shit!"

"I'm from the Church of the Potential Father"

"I'm a transsexual - not a transvestite."

"I'm a level 4 vegan. I don't eat anything that casts a shadow. (A joke, originally made in The Simpsons)"

"Felicity Huffman - Sabrina "Bree" Osbourne (formerly Stanley Schupak)"

"Kevin Zegers - Toby Wilkins"

"Graham Greene - Calvin Many Goats"

"Fionnula Flanagan - Elizabeth Schupak"

"Burt Young - Murray Schupak"

"Carrie Preston - Sydney Schupak"

"Elizabeth Peña - Margaret"

"Time to spread the British Empire."

"I wish that Cedric was more like you. He is such a queer fellow and you're always... so gay."

"Ten years, plus two for having pleaded not guilty, making thirteen years in all."

"[writing in his diary, recording his first impressions of Emily] There is something about her slim, elegant figure that rather reminds me of Edward....hmmmmmm."

"Miss Ivory, having carefully considered the advantages and disadvantages, I feel it is my duty to ask you to become my wife so that no man may say a Trilling child might be a bastard."

"I'm a beautiful, young virgin in Italy. I want my sexual awakening and I want it now!"

"Oh, Aunt Agnes, just remember: you are not losing a niece, you are gaining a man who is... awfully good at croquet and who can probably greet the wedding guests in Greek, Latin... and hieroglyphics."

"I want my sexual awakening and I want it now!"

"Peter Ustinov - Horace"

"Prunella Scales - Aunt Agnes"

"Georgina Cates - Emily"

"Samuel West - Edward"

"Robert Portal- Cedric"

"Sean Pertwee - George"

"Gentlemen, I have a very simple policy. What you shove up your ass is your own business."

"Whenever, whatever. That's the code."

"[When Chuck says he and Larry have always been together, in reference to their shifts in the fire department] So were my balls. Now I only have one of them."

"If these two men are gay then I'm a one-legged parrot. Anybody see me with a crutch and a cracker?"

"And most importantly, they showed us that no matter whom we choose to love, be they heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, trisexual, quadrisexual, pansexual, transexual, omnisexual or that thing where the chick ties the belt around your neck and tinkles on a ballon, it has absolutely nothing to do with who we are as people."

"They're as straight as can be, but don't tell anyone."

"How far would you go for a friend?"

"Chuck has just found the perfect girl. Too bad he's agreed to marry his best friend."

"Adam Sandler as Charles Todd "Chuck" Levine, Larry’s husband and Eric & Tori’s stepfather"

"Kevin James as Lawrence Arthur "Larry" Valentine, Chuck’s husband and Eric & Tori’s father"

"Jessica Biel as Alex McDonough"

"Ving Rhames as Fred G. Duncan, Kevin’s husband"

"Nick Swardson as Kevin McDonough, Alex’s brother and Fred’s husband"

"Steve Buscemi as Clinton Fitzer"

"Dan Aykroyd as Captain Phineas J. Tucker"

"Nicholas Turturro as Renaldo Pinera"

"Richard Chamberlain as Councilman Banks"

"Mary Pat Gleason as Teresa"

"Rachel Dratch as Sara Powers"

"Matt Winston as Glen Aldrich"

"Peter Dante as Tony Paroni"

"Cole Morgen as Eric Valentine, Larry’s son and Chuck’s stepson"

"Shelby Adamowsky as Tori Valentine, Larry’s daughter and Chuck’s stepdaughter"

"Allen Covert as Steve"

"Lance Bass as Bandleader"

"Dave Matthews as Salesman"

"Blake Clark as Crazy Homeless Man"

"Dan Patrick as New York Cop"

"Tila Tequila as Hooters Girl"

"Jamie Chung as Hooters Girl"

"Dennis Dugan as Cab Driver"

"Rob Corddry as Jim the Protestor"

"Jonathan Loughran as David Nootzie"

"Becky and Jessie O'Donohue as Donna and Darla"

"David Spade as Transvestite Groupie (uncredited)"

"Rob Schneider as Asian Minister (uncredited)"

"Arne Starr as Court Supporter (uncredited)"

"Jim Ford as Criminal Stuck in chimney (uncredited)"

"Is that what love is? Using people? And maybe that's what hate is - not being able to use people."

"Truth is the one thing I've never resisted."

"[being sedated] Who was it that said we were all a bunch of kindergarteners trying to spell God's name with the wrong alphabet blocks?"

"I've buried a husband and a son. I'm a widow and a... Funny, there's no word. Lose your parents, you're an orphan. Lose your only son and you are... Nothing."

"Strictly speaking, his life was his occupation. Yes, yes, Sebastian was a poet. That's what I meant when I said his life was his work because the work of a poet is the life of a poet, and vice versa, the life of a poet is the work of a poet. I mean, you can't separate them. I mean, a poet's life is his work, and his work is his life in a special sense."

"Most people's lives, what are they but trails of debris - each day more debris, more debris... long, long trails of debris, with nothing to clean it all up but death."

"Sebastian said, 'Truth is the bottom of a bottomless well.'"

"My son, Sebastian and I constructed our days. Each day we would carve each day like a piece of sculpture, leaving behind us a trail of days like a gallery of sculpture until suddenly, last summer."

"Nature is not made in the image of man's compassion."

"Katharine Hepburn — Mrs. Venable"

"Elizabeth Taylor — Catherine Holly"

"Montgomery Clift — Dr. Cukrowicz"

"Albert Dekker — Dr. Lawrence J. Hockstader"

"Mercedes McCambridge — Mrs. Grace Holly"

"Gary Raymond — George Holly"

"Mavis Villiers — Miss Foxhill"

"Patricia Marmont — Nurse Benson"

"Joan Young — Sister Felicity"

"Maria Britneva — Lucy"

"Sheila Robbins — Dr. Hockstader's Secretary"

"Dax Shepard as John"

"Will Arnett as Nelson"

"Chi McBride as Barry"

"David Koechner as Shanahan"

"Dylan Baker as Warden"

"Michael Shannon as Lynard"

"David Darlow as Judge Biederman"

"Bob Odenkirk as Duane"

"A. J. Balance as John - 18 years"

"Tim Heidecker as wine tester"

"Je hebt erg witte tanden."

"Life's a busman's holiday with you!"

"Can I give you two a piece of advice? Floss."

"Alec Baldwin - Peter Hoskins"

"Meg Ryan - Rita Boyle"

"Sydney Walker - Julius Blier"

"Kathy Bates - Leah Blier"

"Ned Beatty - Dr. Boyle"

"Patty Duke - Mrs. Boyle"

"Stanley Tucci - Taylor"

"Debra Monk - Aunt Dorothy"

"Rocky Carroll - Tom"

"Fern Persons - Elderly Woman"

"Annie Golden - Tin Market Musician"

"Mary Spaeth - Palm Reader"

"I'm loud, darling, but never cheap."

"I can take it Jimmy. Just not in the face."

"Play At Your Own Risk."

"The movie everyone is talking about... But no one is giving away its secrets."

"Stephen Rea - Fergus/Jimmy"

"Jaye Davidson - Dil"

"Forest Whitaker - Jody"

"Miranda Richardson - Jude"

"Adrian Dunbar -Maguire"

"Breffni McKenna - Tinker"

"Joe Savino - Eddie"

"Birdy Sweeney - Tommy"

"Andrée Bernard - Jane"

"Jim Broadbent - Col"

"Tony Slattery - Deveroux"

"Hey, it's a '70s thing! [Video Title]"

"Franklin Ajaye - T.C."

"Sully Boyar - Leon "Mr. B." Barrow"

"Richard Brestoff - Irwin Barrow"

"George Carlin - the Taxi Driver"

"Irwin Corey - The Mad Bomber"

"Ivan Dixon - Lonnie"

"Bill Duke - Duane - Abdullah"

"Antonio Fargas - Lindy"

"Michael Fennell - Calvin"

"Arthur French - Charlie"

"Lorraine Gary - the Hysterical Lady"

"Darrow Igus - Floyd"

"Leonard Jackson - Earl"

"DeWayne Jessie (a.k.a. Otis Day) - Lloyd"

"Jack Kehoe - Scruggs"

"Henry Kingi - Goody"

"Melanie Mayron - Marsha"

"Garrett Morris - Slide"

"Clarence Muse - Snapper"

"Leon Pinkney - Justin"

"The Pointer Sisters - The Wilson Sisters"

"Richard Pryor - Daddy Rich"

"Tracy Reed - Mona"

"Pepe Serna - Chuco"

"James Spinks - Hippo"

"Ray Vitte - Geronimo"

"Renn Woods - Loretta"

"Brooke Adams - Terry"

"Antoine Becker - Charlene"

"Danny DeVito - Joe"

"Antar Mubarak - Sonny Fredericks"

"Otis Sistrunk - Otis"

"Tim Thomerson - Ken"

"Holy buckets...she wants me to give her the D."

"Hey, sir. I've got something yummy for your little girl."

"Who's gonna pound on it? Say it: 'Ian's gonna pound on it.'"

"I can't believe I'm banging an Amish chick. I mean seriously, what are the odds?"

"Oh, did you have a moment? A little moment? You're an idiot."

"Which do you like better, the shaft or the balls?...You like 'em both, don't you."

"Put a little sack into it, powder puff."

"No way. No way my little brother's takin' it in the chili ring! You go and bang a female woman like the good Lord intended. And Ian...fill up the tank, would ya, buddy? Cause it's gettin' a little low."

"I'm into you, and...I'm hard."

"Hey, I was born to fertilize!"

"Do you have a phone number? ...You don't! Oh, okay."

"You should pee on us!"

"You gotta get the monkey."

"Nice hair. It'd look...look better in my crotch."

"What up, English?"

"I miss sarcasm. It's mostly lost on my people. And gambling... went to Vegas once. [pause] And buttfucking."

"Girl at Theme Park: I would've blown."

"Josh Zuckerman - Ian Lafferty"

"Amanda Crew - Felicia Alpine"

"Clarke Duke - Lance Johnson"

"Seth Green - Ezekiel"

"James Marsden - Rex Lafferty"

"Katrina Bowden - Ms. Tasty"

"Alice Greczyn - Mary"

"Michael Cudlitz - Rick"

"David Koechner - Hitchhiker"

"Dave Sheridan - Bobby Jo"

"Mark L. Young - Randy"

"Charlie McDermott - Andy"

"Cole Petersen - Dylan Lafferty"

"Allison Weissman - Becca"

"Andrea Anders - Brandy"

"José Duarte - Brandy's father"

"Kim Ostrenko - Ian's stepmother"

"Brett Rice - Mr. Lafferty"

"Susie Abromeit -Tiffany"

"Brian Posehn - Carny"

"John Ross Bowie - Dr. Teddescoe"

"Sasha Ramos - Kimberly"

"Jessica Just - Lindsay"

"Caley Hayes - Sandy"

"Fall Out Boy - themselves"

"Kyle Gass - Trucker"

"[voiceover] The rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated. I used to be anonymous, invisible to the opposite sex. If Google Earth were a guy, he couldn't find me if I was dressed up as a 10-story building. Pretty cutting edge stuff, huh? A high school girl feeling anonymous. Who am I? What does it all mean? Why am I here? Blah! But don't worry. This isn't one of those tales, though it sure started out that way. And then it changed pretty quickly when I started lying about some very personal things. So, let the record show that I, Olive Penderghast, being of sound mind and below average breast-size, swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth... starting now."

"[to Marianne] We've had nine classes together since Kindergarten...ten if you count Religion of Other Cultures, which you didn't because you called it science fiction and refused to go."

"[to Brandon as she removes her panties] Relax. Jesus. What is with you gays? Are you really that repulsed by lady parts? What do you think I have down there? A gnome?"

"That's the one thing that trumps religion...capitalism."

"Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life."

"[On webcam] And here you all are. Waiting for me outside the bedroom door for me to kiss Todd. Listening to me pretend to have sex with Brandon. Paying me to lie for you, and calling me every name in the book. And you know what? It was just like Hester in The Scarlet Letter. Except that's the one thing movies don't tell you: how shitty it feels to be an outcast. Warranted or not."

"[on webcam, about Todd] I might even lose my virginity to him. I don't know when it will happen. You know, maybe in five minutes, or tonight, or six months from now, or maybe on the night of our wedding. But the really amazing thing is, it is nobody's goddamn business."

"[to Olive] You've made your bed...I just hope for your sake, you've cleaned the sheets."

"Jesus tells us to love everyone, even the whores and the homosexuals. But it's so hard, it's so hard because they keep doing it, over and over again."

"Principal Gibbons: This is public school. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a bonus."

"Mrs. Griffith: I'm the guidance counselor. I should know all the students, especially the ones that dress like prostitutes."

"Let's not and say we did."

"The rumor-filled totally FALSE account of HOW I RUINED my flawless reputation."

"A Comedy about a Good Girl, a Small Favor and a Big Rumor."

"Emma Stone – Olive Penderghast"

"Penn Badgley - "Woodchuck" Todd"

"Amanda Bynes - Marianne Bryant"

"Dan Byrd - Brandon"

"Thomas Haden Church – Mr. Griffith"

"Patricia Clarkson – Rosemary Penderghast"

"Stanley Tucci - Dill Penderghast"

"Cam Gigandet - Micah"

"Lisa Kudrow – Mrs. Griffith"

"Malcolm McDowell - Principal Gibbons"

"Alyson Michalka - Rhiannon "Rhi" Abernathy"

"Fred Armisen - Pastor Bryant"

"You're missing the grand design here! If I don't go, I'm dead! Yeah. And it's a little hard to carry on a relationship when I'm stuffed with straw and formaldehyde."

"I need a lift in your el truck-o to the next town-o!"

"I don't know what it takes! I'm new in the fuck you business."

"By the grace of God or I don't know what honey you have managed to Forrest Gump your way through this. If we run now, we're going to be running the rest of our lives."

"Real emotion transcends language, Jerry. You don't have to understand their words to feel their pain."

"I am a hostage? This is so Jerry."

"I'm here to regulate funkiness."

"Kevlar is for pussies."

"Jerry, I want you to know. You're the craziest fuck I ever met."

"Frank: Guns don't kill people - postal workers do."

"love with the safety off"

"Brad Pitt - Jerry Welbach"

"Julia Roberts - Samantha Barzel"

"James Gandolfini - Winston Baldry"

"J. K. Simmons - Ted Slocum"

"Bob Balaban as Bernie Nayman"

"Sherman Augustus - Leroy"

"Michael Cerveris - Frank"

"David Krumholtz - Beck"

"Castulo Guerra - Joe, The Pawnshop Owner"

"Gene Hackman - Arnold Margolese"

"[voiceover, while writing in her diary] People trust me with their secrets. But who do I trust with mine? You, only you."

"[voiceover] When I was young I had such a vision of myself. I dreamed I'd be someone to be reckoned with, you know, in the world. But one learns one's scale. I've such a dread of ending my days alone. But recently, I've allowed myself to think that I may not be. Am I wrong?"

"[voiceover] Here come the local pubescent proles. The future plumbers, shop assistants, and doubtless the odd terrorist too. In the old days, we confiscated cigarettes and wank mags. Now it's knives and crack cocaine. And they call it progress."

"[voiceover, after Sheba has confessed her affair] And then I realised my fury had blinded me. There was a magnificent opportunity here. With stealth, I might secure the prize long-term, forever in my debt. I could gain everything by doing nothing."

"[voiceover] As my mother would have said, the boy done her like a kipper. She has nowhere to turn but trusty old Bar. She mopes and mourns for her pubescent paramour, but she knows my interventions have saved her life. And she is sweetly grateful. Her betrayal hurt me more than I dare show. But I will forgive her and heal myself in private. She's worth it, this one. She's the one I've waited for. She's beginning to understand that her dalliance with Master Connolly was a consequence of her dead marriage. It's a sham, fueled only by the memory of former glories. I mean, the wonderful thing about Polly- Whereas we are going through the fire forging our friendship with a stronger bond each day. In fact, we are now entering a delicate new phase. We are silently and stealthily negotiating the terms of a life lived together. Now more than ever we are bound by the secrets we share."

"[voiceover] People languish for years with partners who are clearly from another planet. We want so much to believe that we've found our other. It takes courage to recognise the real as opposed to the convenient. We want so much to believe that we've found our other. Takes courage to recognize the real as opposed to the convenient. When I was young I had such a vision of myself. I dreamed I'd be someone to be reckoned with, you know, in the world. But one learns one's scale. I've such a dread of ending my days alone. But recently, I've allowed myself to think that I may not be. Am I wrong?"

"[voiceover] Judas had the grace to hang himself. But only according to Matthew the most sentimental of the Apostles. Is this the last night of her old life? I wonder how long my messenger will take. Thank you. People like Sheba think they know what it is to be lonely. But of the drip, drip of the long-haul, no-end-in-sight solitude, they know nothing. What it's like to construct an entire weekend around a visit to the launderette. Or to be so chronically untouched that the accidental brush of a bus conductor's hand sends a jolt of longing straight to your groin. Of this, Sheba and her like have no clue."

"[voiceover] This last month has been the most delicious time of my life. Of course we have had our ups and downs. The pressure is intense when two women share their lives. But, oh, but what marvelous intensity it is! Circumstances are not always ideal. The swinish press, the stringent bail terms, meetings with lawyers and so on. But all things considered, we're coping admirably. In fact, gold stars abundant. The cuckold permits her to see their children once a week. Thee are usually tears and fits of teenage tantrums, too. In time she'll recognise she's just not the mothering kind, and then Barbara will be there to comfort her. Nurse, beloved friend and wise counsel."

"[to Barbara] This is going to sound sick, but something in me felt... entitled. You know, I've been good all my adult life. I've been a decent wife, a dutiful mother coping with Ben. This voice inside me kept saying "why shouldn't you be bad, why shouldn't you transgress? I mean, you've earned the right.""

"[to Sheba] I knew who you were when we met. You were young. I knew it might get tough, but I was prepared. You're a good mother, but at times you've been a fucking lousy wife. Why didn't you come to me? You could have told me how lonely you were. You never trusted me to help you. I'm not saying I was so fucking fabulous, but I was here."

"Loneliness can turn one into a monster."

"One Woman's Mistake Is Another's Opportunity..."

"One woman's secret is another woman's power. One woman's fear is another woman's weapon. One woman's life is in another woman's hands...."

"Judi Dench - Barbara Covett"

"Cate Blanchett - Bathsheba "Sheba" Hart"

"Tom Georgeson - Ted Mawson"

"Michael Maloney - Sandy Pabblem"

"Joanna Scanlan - Sue Hodge"

"Shaun Parkes - Bill Rumer"

"Emma Williams - Linda"

"Andrew Simpson - Steven Connolly"

"Phil Davis - Brian Bangs"

"Bill Nighy - Richard Hart"

"Juno Temple - Polly Hart"

"If I'm not 20 times better than "boobs for brains" over there, you don't have to pay me."

"Let me help you. First of all, you gotta wet it if you want a clean line... close your eyes, when you're putting on your makeup it's like you're an artist, but instead of painting a canvas you're painting a face. Didn't you ever watch your mom put on her makeup?"

"I will not be upstaged by some slut with mutant lungs."

"Christina Aguilera - Alice Marilyn "Ali" Rose"

"Cher - Tess"

"Cam Gigandet - Jack Miller"

"Kristen Bell - Nikki"

"Stanley Tucci - Sean"

"Eric Dane - Marcus Gerber"

"Alan Cumming - Alexis"

"Julianne Hough - Georgia"

"Peter Gallagher - Vincent "Vince" Scali"

"Dianna Agron - Natalie"

"Glynn Turman - Harold Saint"

"David Walton - Mark the DJ"

"Terrence J - Dave"

"Chelsea Traille - Coco"

"Tyne Stecklein - Jesse"

"Michael Landes - Greg"

"Tanee McCall - Scarlett"

"Blair Redford - James / Bumper Band Member"

"James Brolin - Mr. Anderson"

"Stephen Lee as Dwight"

"[Going over final preparations with Eric] We have enough explosives to last us almost a day. And most importantly, have fun, man!"

"[To John, who asks what he and Eric are doing] Just get the fuck out, don't come back. Some heavy shit's goin' down."

"So foul and fair a day I have not seen."

"Eeny, meeny, miney, moe. Catch a tiger, by his toe. If he hollers, let him go. Eeny, meeny, miney... moe."

"I've... never kissed anybody before. Have you?"

"[The bombs fail to go off] Dude, what the fuck?"

"[When Mr. Luce asks him to put his gun down] I ain't puttin' shit down!"

"I shot the principal and some other people, and-"

"[seeing a man and a woman kissing] Holy Phallus! What are they DOING down there?"

"Kneel down, and get ready to receive the holy gay nigger cum rug seed! May it grant you supernatural powers and eternal life!"

"Coco P. Dalbert - ArmInAss"

"Sammy Saloman - Capt. B. Dick"

"Gerald F. Hail - D. Ildo"

"Eden Richardson- Sgt. Shaved Balls"

"Konrad Fields - Mr. Schwul"

"Johnny Conny Tony Thomas - The Gay Ambassador"

"I guess I've always been pretty good with words. In my line of business. It's as important to be able to describe what I'm doing as it is to do what I'm doing. When to say what. What words to select. Some men hate to hear certain terms. They can't stand specific moves and then they can't live without others. It's part of my job to know where to place my hand, my lips, my tongue, my leg and even my thoughts. What kind of pressure, for how long, when to stop. I can become your first kiss... or a torn out image from a Playboy magazine that you found when you were 9 years old. Am I your secretary or am I your daughter? Maybe I'm your seventh grade math teacher you always hated. All I know is that if I do it just right, I can become your living, breathing, unflinching dream, and then I can actually disappear."

"My husband's cheating on me. At least I think he is. I wanna find out. See what he does if you present yourself to him."

"[to Chloe] This business transaction, which is what this was, is over!"

"I'm supposed to be happy you had your little midlife crisis fling?"

"Amanda Seyfried - Chloe Sweeney"

"Julianne Moore - Dr. Catherine Stewart"

"Liam Neeson - David Stewart"

"Max Thieriot - Michael Stewart"

"R. H. Thomson - Frank"

"Nina Dobrev - Anna"

"Meghan Heffern - Miranda"

"Whenever I wondered what Sara saw in me, and I wondered more than once, I always came back to the fact that she loved to read. She read everything every spare moment. She was a junkie for the printed word. And lucky for me, I manufactured her drug of choice."

"So there it was. Somewhere in the night, a Manhattan book editor was prowling the streets of Pittsburgh; best-selling author at his side, dead dog in his trunk."

"I had no business trudging up to James Leer's parents' house in the middle of the night. Not when all that really mattered was trying to make things right with Sarah. But we had decided to rescue James Leer. I wasn't quite sure from what because I was pretty much convinced that everything that came out of James' mouth was basically horseshit. But maybe that really didn't matter. Sometimes people just need to be rescued."

"As for me, I lost everything: my wife, my book, my job, everything that I thought was important. But I finally knew where I wanted to go. And now I have someone to help me get there."

"So. I guess we just divorce our spouses, marry each other, and have this baby, right? Simple."

"Michael Douglas - Prof. Grady Tripp"

"Tobey Maguire - James Leer"

"Robert Downey Jr. - Terry Crabtree"

"Frances McDormand - Chancellor Sara Gaskell"

"Katie Holmes - Hannah Green"

"Rip Torn - Quentin "Q" Morewood"

"Richard Thomas - Walter Gaskell"

"Jane Adams - Oola"

"Alan Tudyk - Sam Traxler"

"[to Laser] I wish you were gay, you'd be much more sensitive."

"I need to say something. It's no big secret your mom and I are in hell right now, and... Bottom line is, marriage is hard. Its really fucking hard. Just two people slogging through the shit, year after year, getting older, changing. Its a fucking marathon, okay? So, sometimes, you know, you're together so long, that you just... You stop seeing the other person. You just see weird projections of your own junk. Instead of talking to each other, you go off the rails and act grubby and make stupid choices, which is what I did. And I feel sick about it because I love you guys, and I love your mom, and that's the truth. Sometimes you hurt the ones you love the most. I don't know why. You know, if I read more Russian novels, then... I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what I did. I hope you'll forgive me eventually. Thank you."

"[to Jules] So, are you straight now?"

"It's hard enough to open your heart in this world. Don't make it harder."

"Annette Bening - Dr. Nicole 'Nic' Allgood"

"Julianne Moore - Jules Allgood"

"Mark Ruffalo - Paul Hatfield"

"Mia Wasikowska - Joni Allgood"

"Josh Hutcherson - Laser Allgood"

"Yaya DaCosta - Tanya"

"Come on. Let's go to college and get some knowledge."

"Listen, Cockroach, if you don't stop following me around and bugging me, I'm gonna stuff your nauseating carcass into one of those artillery pieces, pull the lanyard and blow you out to sea. Now do you understand me?"

"Well, sir, it's got to be one of two things. Either you're lying, in which case there'd be no whiskey in that tube- or you're right. I did it all, just as you say. Now, if I was such a Machiavellian, crafty, conniving character as all that, would I be so stupid as to leave whiskey in that tube for you to come along and find it? I don't think so, sir. It stands to reason that thing would be washed with loving care."

"I can't sign that statement. Because there's something in it, that isn't true at all. Sure, Georgie was framed- my hands are clean! Gatt beat him up, those freshmen poured whiskey in him, and Koble carried him down to the quadrangle. And who would believe all this bunk, anyhow? How could I make Gatt beat up Georgie? He's twice my size! And these freshmen, did I hold a pistol to their heads and make them do this? DID I?! Oh, no, no. They're just as guilty as I am."

"I'll be back! I'll get you guys! You can't do this to Jocko DeParis!"

"It's wrong to blame this school, Robert. It ain't the school's fault about Jocko. Shoot, that boy'd been the way he is no matter where he'd gone."

"Well, it's easy for you to talk, 'cause you're plannin' on leavin' anyhow. How about the rest of us? Me and Rog's got a lot to lose. Gonna get s. Credit's gonna be no good at another school. Three years we've spent here ain't gonna amount to a doggone thing."

""THE STRANGE ONE" IS A STRANGE ONE! (original print ad - all caps)"

"You'll never forget BEN GAZZARA as the louse, "Jocko""

"The Most Fascinating Louse You Ever Met!"

"Ben Gazzera - Cadet Sgt. Jocko DeParis"

"Pat Hingle - Cadet Harold "Harry" Koble"

"Peter Mark Richman - Cadet Col. Laurie Lorger"

"Arthur Storch - Cadet Simmons"

"Paul E. Richards - Cadet Perrin "Cockroach" McKee"

"Larry Gates - Maj. George Avery Sr."

"Clifton James - Col. M.N. Ramsey"

"Geoffrey Horne - Cadet George Avery Jr."

"James Olson - Cadet Roger Gatt"

"Julie Wilson - Peonie (aka "Rosebud")"

"George Peppard - Cadet Robert Marquales"

"[singing] Life is a cabaret, ol' chum, so come to the Cabaret."

"[repeated line] Divine decadence darling."

"I'm going to be a great film star! That is, if booze and sex don't get me first."

"[singing] Money makes the world go around."

"[to Sally Bowles] Doesn't my body drive you wild with desire?"

"Aren't you ever gonna stop deluding yourself, hmm? Handling Max? Behaving like some ludicrous little underage femme fatale? You're... you're about as fatale as an after dinner mint!"

"Do you know what she has done to me? It's terrible! She has turned me into an honest man."

"Leave your troubles outside! So life is disappointing? Forget it! In here, life is beautiful! The girls are beautiful! Even the orchestra is beautiful! [The orchestra plays.] Beautiful!"

"And now presenting the cabaret girls! Heidi, Christine, Mouzy, Helga, Betty, und Inge. Each and every one a virgin. You don't believe me? Well, do not take my word for it! Go ahead, ask Helga! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Outside, it is winter. But here, it is so hot. Every night we have the battle to keep the girls from taking off all their clothing. So don't go away. Who knows? Tonight we may lose the battle!"

"Life is a cabaret."

"Everybody loves a winner!"

"Cabaret... Winner of 8 Academy Awards!"

"A divinely decadent experience!"

"Come to the cabaret."

"Liza Minnelli - Sally Bowles"

"Michael York - Brian Roberts"

"Fritz Wepper - Fritz Wendel"

"Marisa Berenson - Natalia Landauer"

"Helmut Griem - Maximilian "Max" von Heune"

"Joel Grey - Master of Ceremonies"

"Helen Vita - Frost"

"Oliver Collignon (Mark Lambert singing) - Nazi youth"

"This is like free therapy. New York State cares."

"I need some leg warmers, my Croc is stuck!"

"[about River] You know, he's just a little boy. Little boys fight. Doesn't mean he's going to grow up to be a frat-boy rapist."

"I like to think that if you put your trust out there; if you really give people the benefit of the doubt, see their best intentions, people will rise to the occasion."

"[on the phone, to Cindy's voicemail] I know you're not gonna call me back but... Hum, one more thing, remember that time I missed your awards dinner? Well, hum, I wasn't really working. I was at home watching Kourtney and Kim Take New York... I'm sorry, hum... What else?"

"River Anderson: Go fuck yourselves!"

"Paul Rudd - Nedrick "Ned" Rochlin"

"Elizabeth Banks - Miranda Rochlin"

"Zooey Deschanel - Natalie "Nat" Rochlin"

"Emily Mortimer - Liz Rochlin Anderson"

"Adam Scott - Jeremy Horne"

"Kathryn Hahn - Janet Ziebell"

"Steve Coogan - Dylan Anderson"

"Hugh Dancy - Christian Smith"

"Rashida Jones - Cindy Harris"

"T.J. Miller - Billy Orwin"

"Matthew Mindler - River Anderson"

"Shirley Knight - Ilene Rochlin"

"Janet Montgomery - Lady Arabella Galloway"

"Lydia Haug - Tatiana"

"Sterling K. Brown - Parole Officer Omar Coleman"

"Bob Stephenson - Officer Washburn"

"Katie Aselton - Amy (dog owner)"

"Don't open the door for any gas men. Unless you think either one of us would be interested."

"I like guys a lot, but I'm not going to waste my time with some guy that doesn't see things the way I do... I mean do you really need this guy?"

"I want you to be with me, I want you to marry me, I want you to love me the way that I love you."

"You don't tell a woman that you love her and then two days later bring Romeo over to sleep with him."

"You have to pick one person and make it work."

"Freud didn't know DICK about women."

"I want to look at you and not feel so hurt by you."

"Head up, young person."

"I'm simple, that's why I teach first grade."

"Don't fix your life so that you're left alone right as you come to the middle of it."

"One shouldn't be too hard on oneself when the object of one's affection returns the favor with rather less enthusiasm than one might have hoped."

"I enjoy gay people, but I just have a slight problem with my pregnant sister being in love with one of them."

"Sidney Miller: If I wasn't happily married and you weren't my wife's stepsister, I'd have an affair with you in a second."

"Sidney Miller: I swear, I'm hotter than a goat in China."

"Dr. Robert Joley: We're too young to settle for a twin-bedded friendship."

"A love story that could only happen between best friends."

"Sometimes The Most Desirable Relationship Is The One You Can't Have"

"Jennifer Aniston - Nina Borowski"

"Paul Rudd - George Hanson"

"John Pankow - Vince McBride"

"Allison Janney - Constance Miller"

"Alan Alda - Sidney Miller"

"Tim Daly - Dr. Robert Joley"

"Joan Copeland - Madame Reynolds"

"Steve Zahn - Frank Hanson"

"Nigel Hawthorne - Rodney Fraser"

"Kali Rocha - Melissa"

"Gabriel Macht as Steve Casillo"

"Sarah Hyland as Molly"

"Hayden Panettiere - Mermaid"

"Liam Aiken - Nathan"

"Bruce Altman - Dr. Goldstein"

"Daniel Cosgrove - Trotter Bull"

"Samia Shoaib - Suni"

"Audra McDonald - wedding singer"

"Lauren Varija Pratt as Sally"

"Salem Ludwig - Mr. Shapiro"

"Antonia Rey - Mrs. Ochoa"

"John Roland - TV Anchor"

"Rosanna Scotto - TV Anchor"

"Kevin Corrall - Louis Crowley"

"Kia Goodwin - Juliet"

"Life is like the surf, so give yourself away like the sea."

"Who cares who you two fucked when you come that fast!"

"Play with babies and you'll end up washing diapers!"

"Truth is cool but unattainable... the truth is totally amazing, but you can't ever reach it."

"Life is like the foam of the sea. You must dive into it."

"Maribel Verdú - Luisa Cortés"

"Gael García Bernal - Julio Zapata"

"Diego Luna - Tenoch Iturbide"

"Diana Bracho - Silvia Allende de Iturbide"

"Andrés Almeida - Diego "Saba" Madero"

"Ana López Mercado - Ana Morelos"

"Nathan Grinberg - Manuel Huerta"

"Verónica Langer - María Eugenia Calles de Huerta"

"María Aura - Cecilia Huerta"

"Juan Carlos Remolina - Alejandro "Jano" Montes de Oca"

"Daniel Giménez Cacho - Narrator"

"Let me give y'all a little news flash. There ain't nothin' out there can kill fuckin' Ron Woodroof in 30 days."

"That shit is purer than a preacher daughter's pussy, right there."

"I swear it, Ray, God sure was dressin' the wrong doll when he blessed you with a set of balls."

"Watch what you eat and who you eat."

"Would you stop starin' at her tits, Rayon, you're startin' to look normal."

"Sometimes I feel like I'm fighting for a life I ain't got time to live."

"Welcome to the Dallas Buyers Club!"

"You know what? You don't deserve my money, you homophobic asshole."

"[to Ron] I've been looking for you, lone star."

"Matthew McConaughey - Ron Woodroof"

"Jennifer Garner - Dr. Eve Saks"

"Jared Leto - Rayon"

"Steve Zahn - Tucker"

"Dallas Roberts - David Wayne"

"Michael O'Neill - Richard Barkley"

"Denis O'Hare - Dr. Sevard"

"Griffin Dunne - Dr. Vass"

"Jane McNeill - Francine Suskind"

"James DuMont - Rayon's father"

"Bradford Cox - Sunny, Rayon's lover"

"Kevin Rankin - T. J."

"Lawrence Turner - Larry"

"Matthew Thompson - Effeminate Man"

"Adam Dunn - Neddie Jay"

"Joji Yoshida - Dr. Hiroshi"

"I always wanted to be in the movies. When I was little I thought for sure I could be a big, big star. Or maybe just beautiful. Beautiful and rich, like the women on TV. Yeah, I had a lot of dreams, and I guess you could call me a real romantic, because I truly believed that one day, they'd come true. So I dreamed about it for hours. As the years went by I learned to stop sharing this with people. They said I was dreaming, but back then, I believed in it wholeheartedly. So whenever I was down, I would just escape into my mind. To my other life, where I was someone else. It made me happy to think that all these people just didn't know yet who I was gonna be. But one day, they'd all see."

"I heard that Marilyn Monroe was discovered in a soda shop, and I thought for sure it could be like that. So I started going out real young, and I was always secretly looking for who was gonna discover me. Was it this guy? Or maybe this one? You never knew. But even if they couldn't take me all the way, like Marilyn, they would somehow believe in me just enough. They could see me for what I could be, and think I was beautiful. Like a diamond in the rough. They would take me away to my new life, and my new world, where everything would be different. Yeah. I lived that way for a long, long time. In my head, dreaming like that. It was nice. But one day it just stopped."

"By the time I met Selby Wall... Shit, all I wanted was a beer."

"So I made a deal. I said God I gotta spend this 5 bucks but when it's gone so am I so, if you got something for me in this life you better bring it on, and there she was."

"You'll never meet someone like me again."

"I loved her. And the thing no one ever realized about me or believed was that I could learn. I could train myself into anything. People always look down their noses at hookers. Never give you a chance cause they think you took the easy way out. When no one could imagine the will power it took to do what we do, walking the streets night after night. Taking the hits and still getting back up. But I did and they'd all miss out. Cause they had no idea what I could discipline myself too and I believed in something - and I believed in her."

""All you need is love and to believe in yourself." Nice idea. It doesn't exactly work out that way. But I guess it was better to hear a flat-out lie than to know the truth at 13."

"I'm not a bad person. I'm a real good person."

""Love conquers all." "Every cloud has a silver lining." "Faith can move mountains." "Love will always find a way." "Everything happens for a reason." "Where there is life, there is hope." Well... They gotta tell you somethin."

"Charlize Theron - Aileen "Lee" Wuornos"

"Christina Ricci - Selby Wall"

"Bruce Dern - Thomas"

"Lee Tergeson - Richard Corey"

"Annie Corley - Donna"

"Monster at imdb.com"

"I did not abandon my child, he was taken away from me."

"I forgive you because I don't want to remain angry."

"I don't believe in God, and I think He knows."

"These two unlikely companions are on a journey to find her long lost son."

"BASED ON THE INCREDIBLE TRUE STORY"

"The highly acclaimed new comedy from director Stephen Frears"

"Judi Dench - Philomena Lee"

"Steve Coogan - Martin Sixsmith"

"Barbara Jefford - Sister Hildegarde"

"Sophie Kennedy Clark - Young Philomena"

"Kate Fleetwood - Young Sister Hildegarde"

"Mare Winningham - Mary"

"Michelle Fairley - Sally Mitchell"

"Ruth McCabe - Mother Barbara"

"Anna Maxwell Martin - Jane"

"Peter Hermann - Pete Olson"

"Simone Lahbib - Kate Sixsmith"

"Amy McAllister - Sister Anunciata"

"Cathy Belton - Sister Claire"

"Wunmi Mosaku as Young Nun (modern era)"

"Sean Mahon - Michael Hess"

"The name's Fletch."

"Maybe it's just... that I don't like kids, y'know."

"(about Jimmy's hiking idea) That... is one of the shittiest ideas for a holiday I have ever heard!"

"So... what're five beautiful girls like you doing out on a night like this?"

"These girls are going to the exact same place we are going!"

"(after the final battle) Completely fucking unbelivable!"

"Did you punch a girl?"

"Let's go hiking."

"{to Trudi) That doesn't even make the slighest bit of sense!"

"(after Fletch destroys his phone)What was that for?"

"She has a pure spirit."

"(when the lesbian vampires are hovering at the door) So, all we need to do really is sit tight and wait 'til morning. I mean, it's not like we're going to say Hey, lesbian vampires, come into our cottage, is it? (realizes what he's done has invited them inside) Ah, shit."

"If you strike me down, you shall bring about a curse to your daughters, and your daughters' daughters! And when I am struck down I shall rise again, more powerful than you can ever imagine!"

"McLadden..."

"We are gathered here, under the light of the red Moon."

"It is time."

"Jimmy: I have an idea."

"Fletch: Does it involve girls?"

"Jimmy: An idea."

"Jimmy: Let's go hiking!"

"Fletch: (bursts out laughing:) THAT... is one of the most depressingly shittiest ideas for a holiday I have ever heard!"

"Narrator: At the dawn of the Roman era, our hamlet was beseiged by a beast. A creature from the deepest pits of Hades, born of the hatred of men, and the lust for women. Its name, Carmilla."

"Fletch: (goes up to look) How do you pronounce that? Crags-wich? Crag-wich?"

"Jimmy: I'll tell you what it is, it's called an A-D-V-N-T-U-R-E, my friend."

"Lotte: Do you like Carmilla?"

"Jimmy: Uh, I dunno. Is that who it is?"

"Lotte: Yes, Carmilla, the Vampire Queen."

"Jimmy: Vampire Queen?"

"Lotte: Yes, but according to beliefs she's much more than your average vampire. She's rumoured to be over two thousand years old."

"Jimmy: So you believe in all that Dungeons & Dragons jumbo?"

"Lotte: Oh, my family were very superstitious."

"James Corden - Fletch"

"Mathew Horne - Jimmy"

"Paul McGann - The Vicar"

"Emer Kenny - Rebecca (The Vicar's Daughter)"

"Lucy Gaskell - Judi"

"Louise Dylan - Anke"

"Ashley Mulheron - Trudi"

"Tiffany Mulheron - Heidi"

"Vera Filatova - Eva"

"Silvia Colloca - Camilla"

"MyAnna Buring - Lotte"

"Emma Clifford - Ms. Rossi"

"Margarita Hall - (Daughter of darkness)"

"Perhaps the only difference between me and other people is that I've always demanded more from the sunset. More spectacular colors when the sun hit the horizon. That's perhaps my only sin."

"It's actually the souls of the trees we're seeing in the winter. In summer everything is green and idyllic but in the winter, the branches and the trunks all stand out. Just look at how crooked they all are. The branches have to carry all the leaves to the sunlight. That's one long struggle for survival."

"For me, love was just lust with jealousy added; everything else was total nonsense. For every hundred crimes committed in the name of love, only one is committed in the name of sex."

"They said that love was the secret ingredient in sex, but, to me, love was just lust, with jealousy added."

"Basically, we're all waiting for permission to die."

"We elevate those who say right but mean wrong, and mock those who say wrong but mean right."

"Each time a word becomes prohibited, you remove a stone from the Democratic foundation. Society demonstrates its impotence in the face of a concrete problem by removing words from the language. And I say that society is as cowardly as the people in it, who in my opinion are also too stupid for democracy."

"The human qualities can be expressed in one word: Hypocrisy. We elevate those who say "right" but mean "wrong" and mock those who say "wrong" but mean "right." By the way, I can assure you that women who claim that negros don't turn them on, they're lying."

"It's said to be difficult to take someone's life. I would've said that it's more difficult not to. For a human being, killing is the most natural thing in the world. We're created for it."

"[narrating] During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary tract of country; and at length found myself, as the shades of the evening drew on, within view of the melancholy House of Usher. ("The House of the Usher" by Edgar Allan Poe)"

"But you... you've fucked thousands of men."

"[to Young Joe] Would it be alright if I show the children the whoring bed? After all, they also have a stake in this event."

"[to her children, referring to Joe's bedroom] Let's go see daddy's favorite place! C'mon boys! Ooh, so this is were it all happened!"

"Well, if three is a crowd, then seven must be a bit of a challenge for the pretty miss. I must say I have a hard time picturing her enjoying loneliness."

"Whatever? It must be hard, when you've got everything, to know what to say!"

"The secret ingredient to sex is love."

"That's not how this goes. Most people don't scream until I hit them."

"Mea Vulva, Mea Maxima Vulva!"

"Charlotte Gainsbourg – Joe (ages 35–50)"

"Stellan Skarsgård – Seligman"

"Shia LaBeouf – Jerôme Morris"

"Christian Slater – Joe's father"

"Jamie Bell – K"

"Uma Thurman – Mrs. H"

"Willem Dafoe – L"

"Mia Goth – P"

"Sophie Kennedy Clark – B"

"Connie Nielsen – Katherine (Joe's mother)"

"Michaël Pas – Older Jerôme"

"Jean-Marc Barr – the Debtor Gentleman"

"Udo Kier – The Waiter"

"Lars von Trier ends up hitting the G-spot of avant-garde filmmaking with a movie only he could ever make, and gives the open-minded members of the audience one of the most powerful and sensational experiences ever seen in arts."

"Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends."

"[voice over] I watch him while he's sleeping. A prisoner of dreams. Fighting the battle he's always going to lose. But I'm powerless to help him as I'm powerless to help myself. So I watch and wait."

"[voice over] Submitting entirely to the service and pleasure of the dominant partner. This I find a catharsis, in that all responsibility is relinquished, every move is dictated. No decisions are your own, who exists solely for the service and pleasure of another man."

"[voice over] What mad misfortunes make his eyes blaze with despair? I dream of some tough lover. Big as the Universe, his body blemished by shadows. He'll crush me, naked, in gloomy bars between his golden thighs. A mundane yob transformed into an archangel. Is my lover to be my assassin? Or I his? Loneliness - my only true companion - will always rival any lover. Its greedy desire... always drive a wedge between me and any contender for my company. And I question myself; do I possess some inner destructive demon?"

"[voice over] This painful inability to sustain relationships. The selfishness my work demands leaves no room for an emotional self. Can tenderness ultimately only manifest itself in the motion of a brush? Even this remains invisible. The visceral reach, running fingertips along the curved notches of a spine. The line of a femur, the curl of tendon into muscle. The smell. To violate, to desecrate, to examine a person from the inside, eroticizing the white shirt cuff glimpsed beneath a dark suit. The girth, the solids, the sack of flesh, just offal bags. Ruminating intestines. Fine wines filled and swilled with rich food, trying to create some distance between myself and some dead lover."

"Study for a portrait of Francis Bacon."

"Derek Jacobi - Francis Bacon"

"Daniel Craig - George Dyer"

"Tilda Swinton - Muriel Belcher"

"Anne Lambton - Isabel Rawsthorne"

"Adrian Scarborough - Daniel Farson"

"Karl Johnson - John Deakin"

"Annabel Brooks - Henrietta Moraes"

"Gay men are so hot. It's tragic."

"Victor Sr.: You know what wakes me up in the middle of the night covered in a cold sweat? Knowing that you aren't any worse than anyone else in your whole screwed up generation. In the old days, you know how you got to the top? Huh? By being better than the guy ahead of you. How do you people get to the top? By being so fucking incompetent, that the guy ahead of you can't do his job, so he falls on his ass and congratulations, you are now on top. And now the top is down here, it used to be up here... and you don't even know the fucking difference."

"Singh: [to Simon] Just so we're clear, you stole a car, shot a bouncer, and had sex with two women?"

"life begins at 3am."

"When the lights go down, the world is yours."

"A weekend wasted is never a wasted weekend."

"William Fichtner - Burke"

"Desmond Askew - Simon Baines"

"Scott Wolf - Adam"

"Jay Mohr - Zack"

"Sarah Polley - Ronna Martin"

"Timothy Olyphant - Todd Gaines"

"Katie Holmes - Claire Montgomery"

"Nathan Bexton - Mannie"

"Tony Denman - Track Suit Guy"

"Taye Diggs - Marcus"

"Breckin Meyer - Tiny"

"James Duval - Singh"

"Melissa McCarthy - Sandra"

"J. E. Freeman - Victor, Sr."

"Jimmy Shubert - Victor, Jr."

"Jane Krakowski - Irene"

"You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!... but you keep it all inside."

"Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I'm a middle-aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I'm not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. Fuck the senator, I don't give a damn what he thinks."

"[to Albert] My cemetery's in Key Biscayne. It's one of the prettiest in the world. The sky is blue, palm trees, rolling hills. The one is Los Copa's really shit. [sigh] What a pain in the ass you are. And it's true: you're not young, you're not new, and you do make people laugh. And me? I'm still with you because you make me laugh. So you know what I got to do? I got to sell my plot in Key Biscayne so I can get one next to you in that shithole Los Copa, so I never miss a laugh."

"Don't worry about that. I'm very maternal. And Albert's practically a breast."

"Armand Goldman, you old so-and-so! How 'bout those Dolphins! ... Screaming queen?"

"Louise Keeley: [examining the sexually provocative designs on the bowls] Oh, what interesting china. It looks like young men playing leapfrog."

"Come as you are."

"What could possibly come between a match made in heaven? The parents. Dinner. And a nightclub called... (The Birdcage)"

"Robin Williams - Armand Goldman"

"Gene Hackman - Senator Kevin Keeley"

"Nathan Lane - Albert Goldman"

"Dianne Wiest - Louise Keeley"

"Dan Futterman - Val Goldman"

"Calista Flockhart - Barbara Keeley"

"Hank Azaria - Agador Spartacus"

"Christine Baranski - Katharine Archer"

"Tom McGowan - Harry Radman"

"Grant Heslov - National Enquirer photographer"

"Luca Tommassini - Celsius"

"My name is Dedee Truitt. I'm sixteen, and this is Creve Coeur, Louisiana... which is French, I think, for like, 'fucked heart'."

"If you think I'm just plucky and scrappy and all I need is love, you're in over your heads. I don't have a heart of gold and I don't grow one later, OK? But relax. There's other people a lot nicer coming up - we call them "losers.""

"My mother was the kind of mother who always said she was her daughter's best friend. Whenever she did, I thought, "Great! Not only do I have a shitty mother, but my best friend's a loser bitch!""

"Rule one of sex: a person can do anything for ten minutes if they don't breath in."

"Seems like everybody's having sex but me. Good for them. It's not that I'm against sex. I mean, it was clever of God or evolution or whatever to hook the survival of the species to it because we're gonna screw around no what. It was a smarter thing to pick than say... the instinct to share your toys or return phone calls. We'd have died out like eons ago. But on the minus side, god... all the attachment that goes with it. It's like this net. Sex always ends in kids or disease, or like, you know, relationships. That's exactly what I don't want. I want the opposite of all that. Because it's not worth it, not really, is it? When you think about it? [cut to montage of memories of heart-warming relationship scenes] OK, so maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's not all shit. Maybe... God damn it. I thought the whole idea was I know what happens next. I'll tell you one thing... I'm not gonna go back to Bill's house and be this big changed person for you. I told you right off I don't grow a heart of gold. And if I do, which is, like, so unlikely... give me a break and don't make me do it in front of you. Come on, guys, go, okay? [looking at the camera angrily] GO! I'll give you this much, though... I never was the same again after that summer."

"[Refusing heterosexual sex with Dedee] I've never tried communism, but I know I wouldn't like that. It's the same thing. Or grits."

"Girl Student: This is America, and we're Christians here - aside from a few Jewish people who were just born that way - and I can tell you one thing: Jesus Christ and his apostles were certainly not into "man-on-man action," which is how they describe it on their porno videos, which, I am proud to say, Blockbuster does not carry. Um, I work there and it's very family... [pause] Plus, that religion John Travolta belongs to."

"Christina Ricci - Dedee Truitt"

"Ivan Sergei - Matt Mateo"

"Martin Donovan - Bill Truitt"

"Lisa Kudrow - Lucia De Lury"

"Lyle Lovett - Carl Tippett"

"William Lee Scott - Randy Cates"

"Johnny Galecki - Jason Bock"

"Colin Ferguson - Tom De Lury"

"Well, as I was saying, it costs a lot to be authentic, ma'am. And one can't be stingy with these things because you are more authentic the more you resemble what you've dreamed of being."

"Just don't disappear again. I like to say good-bye to the people I love, even if it's only to cry my eyes out, bitch."

"How could I own a real Chanel when there is so much poverty in the world?"

"I'm not a whore. I've been fucked around a lot, but I'm not a whore."

"You are not a human being, Lola. You are an epidemic."

"How could anyone act so macho with a pair of tits like that?"

"[while performing the Boogie Woogie] As the next part of the Boogie Woogie is so strange that it calls for an explanation, is called a Boogie Woogie break. And when I'm playing it and, like, stop at a certain point, you're going to think I forgot the music. But I didn't forget the music; there's just no music written for that part. That's why they call it a break."

"I love it! That was terrific! Ya see, George. I told you, men do come to my concerts. Well, I really appreciate it and I know somebody else out in the audience that appreciates it too. And that's my mom. Mom, I'll tell you what. Let them hear it from you and I'll play it just for you. Okay, mom?"

"I really thank you all for joining me in this Boogie Woogie, and I'd like to try a little experiment. I've been playing this Boogie Woogie at eight beats to the bar. I'd like to try playing it now at sixteen beats to the bar."

"[to Scott] Well, this must be fate."

"[Scott imagines seeing Liberace performing one last time. Last lines] To dream the impossible dream. To be better far than you are. To try, when your arms are too weary. To reach the unreachable star. This is my quest to follow that star. No matter how hopeless. No matter how far. Be willing to give and there's no more to give. Be willing to die so that honor and justice may live and I know and I'll only be true to this glorious quest. My heart, shall lie peaceful and calm, when I'm laid to my rest. Thank you. Thank you. You have made me the happiest piano player who has ever lived and no matter what I still believe and always will. Too much of a good thing is wonderful."

"Michael Douglas - Liberace"

"Matt Damon - Scott Thorson"

"Dan Aykroyd - Seymour Heller"

"Rob Lowe - Dr. Jack Startz"

"Debbie Reynolds - Frances Liberace"

"Scott Bakula - Bob Black"

"Boyd Holbrook - Cary James"

"Be thou exorcised oh Dracula, and thy body long undead find destruction throughout eternity in the name of thy dark unholy Master. In the name of the oh holiest and through this cross be the evil spirit cast out until the end of time"

"Her pulse is weak Dr. Garth... Growing weaker. All your skill can't help her now. She's under a spell that can be broken only by me... or death."

"Possibly there are more things in heaven and Earth than are dreamed of in your psychiatry, Mr. Garth."

"You know, this is the first woman's flat I've been in that didn't have at least 20 mirrors in it."

"She gives you that weird feeling!"

"Look out, she'll get you!"

"Otto Kruger - Dr. Jeffrey Garth"

"Gloria Holden - Countess Marya Zaleska - Dracula's Daughter"

"Marguerite Churchill - Janet"

"Edward Van Sloan - Professor Von Helsing"

"Gilbert Emery - Sir Basil Humphrey, Scotland Yard"

"Irving Pichel - Sandor"

"Halliwell Hobbes - Hawkins"

"Billy Bevan - Albert"

"Nan Grey - Lili"

"Hedda Hopper - Lady Esme Hammond"

"Claud Allister - Sir Aubrey"

"Edgar Norton - Hobbs"

"E. E. Clive - Sergeant Wilkes"

"Vernon Steele - Squires"

"Ah, the holidays. The most wonderful time of the year. And so, begins my tale. On the snowy morning of Christmas Eve, as Charlotte Cooper set out her 37th snow globe, trying to create the perfect Christmas for her family, she remembered a moment, she'd hoped she could hold on to forever..."

"Such a fuss, when everything we want is right in front of us the whole time..."

"That feeling like you've landed in the wrong life. Everybody feels that way."

"All we'd have to figure out is how long we've been together. And... what your name is."

"Be thankful the holidays only come around once a year."

"Christmas means comfort, joy and chaos."

"You can't regift family."

"Steve Martin - the Narrator/Rags the Dog"

"Alan Arkin - Bucky"

"John Goodman - Sam Cooper"

"Ed Helms - Hank"

"Diane Keaton - Charlotte Cooper"

"Jake Lacy - Joe"

"Anthony Mackie - Officer Percy Williams"

"Amanda Seyfried - Ruby"

"June Squibb - Aunt Fishy"

"Marisa Tomei - Emma"

"Olivia Wildie - Eleanor"

"Alex Borstein - Angie"

"Blake Baumgartner - Madison"

"Timothée Chalamet - Charlie"

"Maxwell Simkins - Bo"

"Dan Amboyer - Jake"

"Molly Gordon - Lauren Hesselberg"

"Cady Huffman - Gift shop clerk"

"I'm gonna get you."

"Took me 25 years. But believe me, it was worth the wait. 25 years. Since then, a lot of families have come and gone. The Barclays, the Kincaids, the Tillys. But Nica, your family was always my favorite. And now, you're the last one standing. So to speak. (Laughs evilly)"

"Women. Can't live with them; period. (Laughs evilly)"

"Say "hi" to the little woman for me. (Chops off Ian's lower jaw with an axe) Maybe not. (Laughs evilly)"

"You have your mother's eyes. And they were always too FUCKING CLOSE TOGETHER!"

"Who's next?"

"Brad Dourif - the voice of Chucky"

"Fiona Dourif - Nica Pierce"

"Summer H. Howell - Alice"

"Alex Vincent - Andy Barclay"

"Just when you think it can't get any worse, you run out of cigarettes."

"I never looked like that. [to Therese, admiring her nude body]"

"My angel. Flung out of space. [to Therese when they pause to look at each other during sex for the first time]"

"I took what you gave willingly. It's not your fault, Therese."

"Please believe that I would do anything to see you happy. So, I do the only thing I can — I release you. [letter to Therese VO]"

"Now what happened with Therese — I wanted. And I will not deny it."

"I'm no martyr. I have no clue what is best for me. But I do know, and I feel it in my bones, what is best for my daughter. Now, I want visits with her, Harge. I don't care if they're supervised. I just want them to be regular. [puts on coat, preparing to leave attorney's office] There was a time when I would have done almost anything. I would have locked myself away to keep Rindy with me. What use am I to her, to us, if I'm living against my own grain?"

"I just take everything and I don't know anything. And I don't know what I want. How could I when all I ever do is say "Yes" to everything?"

"[calls Carol on the phone] Hello? Carol? [Carol remains silent, struggling with emotions, then hangs up] I miss you. I miss you."

"I never made you — I never asked you for anything. Maybe that's the problem. [to Richard as they break up]"

"In bringing this book [The Price of Salt ] to the screen in his gorgeous new movie "Carol," Todd Haynes has, as filmmakers will, changed a few details, characters and plot points. (Therese is now an aspiring photographer, though still temporarily employed at the doll counter of a department store.) But Mr. Haynes and the screenwriter, Phyllis Nagy, have also done something more radical. In [Patricia] Highsmith's prose, desire is a one-way street. For Mr. Haynes, it's a two-way mirror. At once ardent and analytical, cerebral and swooning, "Carol" is a study in human magnetism, in the physics and optics of eros. With sparse dialogue and restrained drama, the film is a symphony of angles and glances, of colors and shadows. It gives emotional and philosophical weight to what might be a perfectly banal question: What do these women see each in each other?"

"Haynes sets the tone with a brilliant early sequence set in a Manhattan department store just before Christmas. We are in Eisenhower-era America, a time of new affluence and opportunity. This, though, is the Cold War era, too. The irony, very deliberately accentuated by the film-makers, is that US society is as rigidly conformist in its own way as the communist world. "Compliments of the season from the management," the shop workers are told as they are all given identical Santa hats just as the Christmas rush is about to begin. Little details – the near-identical clothes of the women shopping, the Big Brother-style tannoy voice telling customers what to buy – hint at how rigidly behaviour is controlled."

"[Carol] seamlessly evokes the period by paying homage to the great photography of the time. It also creates its own unique cinematic language and pulls the viewer deeper and deeper into a world where something as simple as love comes at a staggering cost. Its delicate and precise exploration of emotion through color and light led us to discuss what it meant to achieve mastery of our craft. [Lachman] is, for us, a master and [Carol] is a masterpiece"

"To date, a queer-themed movie has still never won Best Picture, and those that do receive any kind of recognition prominently feature queer suffering ... The reason that Carol is unique and extraordinary is likewise the exact reason that the Academy didn’t deem it Best Picture-worthy ... The Price Of Salt was a landmark work of LGBT fiction, not just because it was published in 1952 (a time many Americans were unaware lesbians even existed) but because it didn’t punish its star-crossed lovers for their desires ... [the novel] leaves the door open for a happy ending ... What makes stories like the romance portrayed in Carol isn’t the ecstasy of queer agony but that there were real women like Carol Aird and Therese Belivet."

"Cate Blanchett – Carol Aird"

"Rooney Mara – Therese Belivet"

"Sarah Paulson – Abby Gerhard"

"Jake Lacy – Richard Semco"

"John Magaro – Dannie McElroy"

"Cory Michael Smith – Tommy Tucker"

"Carrie Brownstein – Genevieve Cantrell"

"Kevin Crowley – Fred Haymes"

"Nik Pajic – Phil McElroy"

"Kyle Chandler – Harge Aird"

"[voiceover, opening lines] This past spring was the first that I felt tired and realized I was growing old. Maybe it was the rotten weather we'd had in L.A. Maybe the rotten cases I'd had. Mostly chasing a few missing husbands and then chasing their wives once I found them, in order to get paid. Or maybe it was just the plain fact that I am tired and growing old."

"[voiceover] The house itself wasn't much. It was smaller than Buckingham Palace and probably had fewer windows than the Chrysler building."

"[voiceover] She gave me a smile I could feel in my hip pocket."

"[voiceover, to himself] You've been beaten up, slapped, shot full of hop until you were as crazy as two waltzing mice; now let's see you do something really tough, like getting up."

"[voiceover] It was one of those transient motels, something between a fleabag and a dive."

"[voiceover] I sparred with the night clerk for a couple of minutes, but it was like trying to open a sardine can after you broke off the metal lip. There was something about Abraham Lincoln's picture that loosened him up."

"[on being shaken by the lapels] Now wait a minute. I've been slapped, scratched, punched, knocked unconscious, drugged, and shot at, looking for your Velma, so quit trying to make a milkshake out of my insides, will you?"

"[looking at the dead bodies of Moose and Velma] Moose never would have hurt her. It didn't matter to him that she hadn't written in 6 years. It didn't matter that she turned him in for a reward. The big lug loved her... and if he was still alive... it wouldn't matter to him that she'd pumped 3 bullets into him... What a world."

"Billy Rolfe: You're not a detective, Marlowe, you're a slot machine. You'll do anything for six bits."

"Robert Mitchum - Philip Marlowe"

"Charlotte Rampling - Helen Grayle"

"John Ireland - Lt. Nulty"

"Sylvia Miles - Jessie Halstead Florian"

"Anthony Zerbe - Laird Brunette"

"Harry Dean Stanton - Detective Billy Rolfe"

"Jack O'Halloran - Moose Malloy"

"Joe Spinell - Nick"

"Sylvester Stallone - Jonnie"

"Kate Murtagh - Frances Amthor"

"John O'Leary - Lindsay Marriott"

"Walter McGinn - Tommy Ray"

"Jim Thompson - Judge Baxter Wilson Grayle"

"Let me explain what I'm doing. This is not gonna be like other auditions. I'm looking for a strong chorus... people who can work together as a group - but I'm going to try to shake you up, see who you really are. We've got some small but important parts to be played by people in the chorus. Since I need great dancers, I can't expect you all to be great actors. So I don't want anybody to try to act. You understand? Just to be exactly who you are, which is just as important to me as how well you dance."

"I'm going to ask you some questions. What I want to know is details about yourself. Things you're proud of, things you're ashamed of. So if anybody can't handle it and wants to leave, right now is the time to make up your mind."

"Dammit, now can't ANYBODY up there hear me! Just let your hair down! Can't you talk? All of you, just talk, to me, to each other!... Jeez!"

"Why is it only I ever get invited places?"

"Do you want to know all the wonderful and exciting things that've happened to me? Or do you want the truth?"

"I couldn't catch a ball if it had Elmer's Glue on it. And wouldn't my father have to be this big ex-football hero. Well, he was so humiliated, he didn't know what to tell his friends, so he told them all I had Polio. On Father's Day, I used to limp for him."

"I would always try to find ways to kill myself, but then I realized to commit suicide in Buffalo is redundant."

"[singing] Who am I anyway? Am I my resume? That is a picture of a person I don't know, What does he want from me? What should I try to be? So many faces all around and here we go, I need this job, Oh God, I need this show."

"Every audition, I would dance rings around the other girls and I'd wind up in the alley with the other rejects. Until one day, after an audition, I swiped my dance card. And on a scale of 1 to 10 they gave me for dance: 10, for looks: 3. Well. [singing] Dance 10, Looks 3, And I'm still on unemployment, Dancing for my own enjoyment, That ain't it, kid, That ain't it, kid. Dance 10, Looks: 3, Is like to die. Left the theater, And called the doctor for my appointment to buy: Tits and ass, bought myself a fancy pair, Tightened up the derriere, Did the nose with it, All that goes with it, Tits and ass, Had the bingo-bongos done, Suddenly I'm getting national tours, Tits and ass, Won't get you jobs, Unless they're yours. Didn't cost a fortune, neither, Didn't hurt my sex life, either..."

"One singular sensation."

"Michael Douglas - Zach, choreographer"

"Alyson Reed - Cassie"

"Terrence Mann - Larry, assistant choreographer"

"Sharon Brown - Kim, Zach's secretary"

"Michael Blevins - Mark Tobori"

"Yamil Borges - Diana Morales"

"Jan Gan Boyd - Connie Wong"

"Gregg Burge - Richie Walters"

"Cameron English - Paul San Marco"

"Tony Fields - Al DeLuca"

"Audrey Landers - Val Clarke"

"Nicole Fosse - Kristine Evelyn-DeLuca"

"Vicki Frederick - Sheila Bryant"

"Michelle Johnston - Beatrice Ann "Bebe" Benson"

"Janet Jones - Judy Monroe"

"Pam Klinger - Maggie Winslow"

"Charles McGowan - Mike Cass"

"Justin Ross - Greg Gardner"

"Blane Savage - Don Kerr"

"Matt West - Bobby Mills"

"[to Kevin] You're the only man who ever touched me. [pause] The only one. [pause] I haven't really touched anyone since."

"Hey, these grandma rules, man. You know the deal. Your ass eat, your ass speak."

"I wasn't never worth shit. Never did anything I actually wanted to do, was all I could do to do what other folks thought I should do. I wasn't never myself."

"[to Little] You're my only. I'm your only."

"You ain't got to love me, but you gonna know that I love you."

"Trevante Rhodes - Chiron / "Black""

"André Holland - Kevin"

"Janelle Monáe - Teresa"

"Naomie Harris - Paula"

"Mahershala Ali - Juan"

"Patrick Decile - Terrel"

"A lot of really weird things are going on round here!... Breathing, strange sounds, your Mother, now faces at the window... I can't stand it!"

"I have a hard enough time taking Cinderella and her wicked step mother, but this new twist has really given me the willies."

"The Nightmare Begins When You Wake Up"

"Get your slice from the reaper. Violence beyond reason, victims beyond help."

"Laurel Munson - Terry Morgan"

"Sara Ansley - Nancy Paulson"

"Janet Penner - Marion Penrose"

"Virginia Settle - Mrs. Penrose"

"Barbara Lusch - Gloria"

"John Morrison - Norman Barnes"

"Bill Simmonds - Carl Penrose"

"[to Gal] Shut up, cunt. You louse. You got some fuckin' neck ain't you. Retired? Fuck off, you're revolting. Look at your suntan, it's leather, it's like leather man, your skin. We could make a fucking suitcase out of you. Holdall. Like a crocodile, fat crocodile, fat bastard. You look like fucking Idi Amin, you know what I mean? Stay here? You should be ashamed of yourself. Who do you think you are? King of the castle? Cock of the walk? [He gut-punches Gal] What you think this is the Wheel of Fortune? You think you can make your dough and fuck off? Leave the table? Thanks Don, see you Don, off to sunny Spain now Don, fuck off Don. Lying in your pool like a fat blob laughing at me, you think I'm gonna have that? You really think I'm gonna have that, ya ponce. All right, I'll make it easy for you. God knows you're fucking trying. Are you gonna do the job? It's not a difficult question, are you gonna do the job, yes or no?"

"You're on two per cent, two and a half, maybe even three. Depends on the usual bumflufferies. It's not about the money with you and me is it, Gal? It's the charge, it's the bolt, it's the buzz, it's the sheer fuck off-ness of it all. Am I right?"

"You're the problem! You're the fucking problem you fucking Dr White honkin' jam-rag fucking spunk-bubble! I'm telling you Aitch you keep looking at me I'll put you in the fucking ground, promise you!"

"But quite frankly your attitude appalls me. It's not what you're saying. It's all this stuff you're not saying. Insinnuendos."

"Yeah, that's what I said. There's me putting my bag up in the cupboard next thing ya know, I feel hands on me. Someone's touched me, touched my front... my front bottom. I can't believe it, I've gone all cold. I look around, he standing there isn't he? That steward with the guilty look on his face. I was shocked, I didn't know what to say. I had to sit down, I was that perturbed. Then his mate, the other one who was giving us all lessons on what we do if we land in the sea. How to wear your life jacket etc; He starts off, he starts looking at my all funny... suggestive. Now I don't know if they're wanting me for a twosome or something, I don't know how they work it. But I'll tell you what, it scared me. I was shaking like a leaf, so without thinking I lit up a cigarette to calm me nerves. I was trembling, I was very emotional and that when all the rest of it happened. It's very regrettable. Now, I don't want to kick up a fuss, right, press charges... contact the British embassy. I'd rather not pursue those channels, that's not my style. I'm not that sort of a bloke. I don't want to lose the man his job. Man's got to eat. And I'm sure he's not representative of all you Spanish people. But I would appreciate it if you had a word with him, let him know he's been rumbled. The one with the ginger hair."

"I gotta change my shirt, it's sticking to me. I'm sweating like a cunt."

"Not this time, Gal. Not this time. Not this fucking time. No. No no no no no no no no no! No! No no no no no no no no no no no no no! No! Not this fucking time! No fucking way! No fucking way, no fucking way, no fucking way! You've made me look a right cunt!"

"I fucked Jackie. Dirty cow. During what we were doing, she tried to stick her finger up my bum. I nearly hit the roof, you can imagine. I mean, what have you got to think of a woman who'd want to do that?"

"People say, "Don't you miss it, Gal?" I say, "What, England? Nah. Fucking place. It's a dump. Don't make me laugh. Grey, grimy, sooty. What a shit hole. What a toilet. Every cunt with a long face shuffling about, moaning, all worried. No thanks, not for me." They say, "What's it like, then, Spain?" And I'll say, "It's hot. Hot. Oh, it's fucking hot. Too hot? Not for me, I love it.""

"You were right Don. Technically speaking, you were right. But you're dead. So shut up."

"Where there's a will - and there is a fucking will - there's a way - and there is a fucking way."

"[raising his glass] Gentlemen! You're all cunts."

"There's a bit of the beast in all of us."

"Sometimes It's Hard To Say No."

"Yes or Yes?"

"In the Underworld, you never turn down a job."

"Sexy Beast was the beginning of a new phase for me of working with first time filmmakers. Jonathan Glazer was a television commercials director in the UK, and a wonderful talent. We were sent this script which he was attached to, and out came this wonderful film. It was very stimulating having a first time talent... The dialogue as you see in this film is exceptional. I had never read a script like it, and I thought, this has got to be made. It was very difficult to get insurance on the film actually. When the American studio bought the film, their legal department said: "You cannot make this." It has something like 300 uses of the word "cunt", and 400 "fucks", but somehow it passed the censorship and got out there."

"Ray Winstone - Gary "Gal" Dove"

"Ben Kingsley - Don Logan"

"Ian McShane - Teddy Bass"

"Amanda Redman - DeeDee Dove"

"James Fox - Harry"

"Cavan Kendall - Aitch (final film role)"

"Julianne White - Jackie"

"Álvaro Monje - Enrique"

"Different things can be sad... it's not all war!"

"People go by the names their parents give them, but they don't believe in God."

"I found when it happened that I really like dry humping more."

"I was on top! Who the fuck is on top their first time!"

"I hate California, I want to go to the east coast. I want to go where culture is like, New York, or Connecticut or New Hampshire."

"The only thing exciting about 2002 is that it's a palindrome."

"Money is not life's report card. Being successful doesn't mean anything in and of itself. It just means that you're successful. But that doesn't mean that you're happy."

"You're not gonna get in a car with a guy that honks, are ya?"

"Hey, I'm like Keith Richards. I'm just happy to be anywhere."

"Julie Steffans: Some people aren't built happy, you know."

"Kyle Scheible: You're gonna have so much unspecial sex in your life."

"Saoirse Ronan – Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson"

"Laurie Metcalf – Marion McPherson"

"Tracy Letts – Larry McPherson"

"Lucas Hedges – Danny O'Neill"

"Timothée Chalamet – Kyle Scheible"

"Beanie Feldstein – Julianne "Julie" Steffans"

"Lois Smith – Sister Sarah Joan"

"Stephen McKinley Henderson – Father Leviatch"

"Odeya Rush – Jenna Walton"

"Jordan Rodrigues – Miguel McPherson"

"Marielle Scott – Shelly Yuhan"

"John Karna – Greg Anrue"

"Jake McDorman – Mr. Bruno"

"Bayne Gibby – Casey Kelly"

"Laura Marano – Diana Greenway"

"Marietta DePrima – Miss Patty"

"Daniel Zovatto – Jonah Ruiz"

"Kristen Cloke – Ms. Steffans"

"Andy Buckley – Uncle Matthew"

"Kathryn Newton – Darlene Bell"

"Myra Turley – Sister Gina"

"Bob Stephenson – Father Walther"

"- Ned Freed"

"- Jeannie Freed"

"- Jonah Freed"

"Skyler Fortgang - Ethan Freed"

"- Ernie Freed"

"[after being told he shouldn't go to his Mom's feminist memorial] I will grieve alone for the rest of my life, but right now I want to be around people who loved her."

"We'll take the house. Honey, the chances of another plane hitting this house are astronomical. It's been pre-disastered. We're going to be safe here."

"[to his infant son in baby carriage] Don't be a baby, Duncan! Say da-da! [Duncan blows raspberry at Garp]"

"Men die young in my family, Helen!"

"You know, everybody dies. My parents died. Your father died. Everybody dies. I'm going to die too. So will you. The thing is, to have a life before we die. It can be a real adventure having a life."

"[telling Garp he cannot go to his mother's feminist memorial] They're not going to allow any men. A man killed her! They're very upset!"

"Robin Williams - T.S. Garp"

"Mary Beth Hurt - Helen Holm"

"Glenn Close - Jenny Fields"

"John Lithgow - Roberta Muldoon"

"Hume Cronyn - Mr. Fields"

"Jessica Tandy - Mrs. Fields"

"Swoosie Kurtz - The Hooker"

"Peter Michael Goetz - John Wolf"

"Mark Soper - Michael Milton"

"Warren Berlinger - Stew Percy"

"Brandon Maggart - Ernie Holm"

"Amanda Plummer - Ellen James"

"Jenny Wright - Cushie"

"[Quoting Zoroaster] "Good thoughts, good words, good deeds." Just like you taught me, papa."

"[firing Paul Prenter] You know when you know you've gone rotten? Really rotten? Fruit fly! Dirty little fruit fly, coming to feast on what's left. But there isn't much left for you to feast on anymore! So fly off! And do what you like with your photographs and your stories, but promise me one thing: that I never see your face again. Ever."

"Being human is a condition that requires a little anaesthesia."

"Roger, there's only room in this band for one hysterical queen."

"I'm not the leader of the band, I'm only the lead singer."

"I'm just a musical prostitute."

"We're family. We believe in each other. That's everything."

"I'm not going to be their victim. Their AIDS poster boy, their cautionary tale."

"What's it gonna take for you all to forgive me?"

"It's a rock and roll record...with the scale of opera...the pathos of Greek tragedy...the wit of Shakespeare...the unbridled joy of musical theater."

"We'll mix genres, we'll cross boundaries...we'll speak in bloody tongues if we want to."

"Fearless lives forever"

"The only thing more extraordinary than their music is his story"

"The music you know, the story you don't"

"Rami Malek – Freddie Mercury"

"Lucy Boynton – Mary Austin"

"Gwilym Lee – Brian May"

"Ben Hardy – Roger Taylor"

"Joe Mazzello – John Deacon"

"Aidan Gillen – John Reid"

"Allen Leech – Paul Prenter"

"Tom Hollander – Jim Beach"

"Mike Myers – Ray Foster"

"Aaron McCusker – Jim Hutton"

"Meneka Das – Jer Bulsara"

"Ace Bhatti – Bomi Bulsara"

"Priya Blackburn – Kashmira Bulsara"

"Max Bennett – David"

"Dermot Murphy – Bob Geldof"

"Dickie Beau – Kenny Everett"

"Jack Roth – Tim Staffell"

"Neil Fox-Roberts – Mr. Austin"

"Philip Andrew – Reinhold Mack"

"Michelle Duncan – Shelley Stern"

"[singing] Dear blender/Now, won't you help a first offender?/Oh, toaster/Don't you put the burn on me/Refrigerator/Why are we always sooner or later/Bitchin' in the kitchen or cryin' in the bedroom all night?"

"[To Farley] I'm as sane as you are! Saner!"

"[singing] We lost our home/Our family/You lost compassion, now you're losin' me..."

"Hi, Brad, I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am."

"[singing] If that's not enough, then I'm/So sorry I met you, it was almost like leading you on/But there's more to it all/Than just ringing your heart out over something/That keeps on going wrong/So don't tell me you love me/How am I supposed to know what that means?/No, don't sell emotion/You can't buy devotion if you're falling apart at the seams..."

"[singing] I need some young blood, I need some young blood. I need it now!"

"[singing] Well...! First you go rip, rip, rip/Then you go snip, snip, snip/Then you whip in a zip, zip, zip/And split it up to the hip, hip, hip/And as you strip, strip, strip/You quiver and shiver for that soft caress/As you slip, slip, slip/Into that little black dress."

"Do you have any friends? ... You won't have soon."

"Oh, no, just a routine checkup."

"[singing] I'm gonna shoot for the moon/I'm gonna play high noon/I'm gonna take on the entire human race/You're not looking at a king/You're looking at an ace!"

"Time's tight, Janet. Do it right, Janet. Until tomorrow night, Janet?"

"[singing] You lost your baby when you lost your balls/You lost your mind when you lost your grip, so say bye-bye!"

"[singing] Well, the best thing you could ever do is die!"

"Now, you see the way we got rid of that dirty little dish is the same way we're going to put the rest of our house in order! Including... the upstairs!"

"Alimony is just another word for rape."

"Oh, Ralph? ... Shove it!"

"Coffee, Kirk. I'm dying for it."

"Look at that, Bert Schnik's dancing! Bert can see!"

"Macy Struthers with my husband. God, I must have been blind! Still, the weaker the man, the dumber the blonde."

"Oh my God, character actors!"

"[to Macy Struthers] Who loves YOU, baby?"

"I detect a note of reticence. Are you perhaps one of those amongst us who feel that emotive forms of presentations are overly manipulative?"

"Oh, I adore Coleridge Taylor. As a matter of fact... "It is an ancient Mariner, and he stoppeth one of three. By thy long gray beard and glittering eye, now wherefore stop'st thou me?""

"[singing] This could be the start of a whole new career here."

"And here she is! Denton's own, America's pride, Janet, the sensation of the planet."

"Ladies and gentlemen... the president."

"I wouldn't mind doing Janet one or two favors."

"No! I don't know what Janet's next move will be...but you can be sure of one thing...it all starts here!"

"Yeah! Well, I just got word Farley's expecting her any minute. You Guys!! Get yer asses in front of those cameras, warm up that crowd and earn yourselves a reputation. Okay? Move!!!"

"Well, Janet's absolutely speechless, Ladies and Gentlemen. But that's all right. Because we don't need her to talk...But here's someone we do want to hear from...a firm favorite of yours and mine. You've revelled in his recipes. You've marvelled at his marriage guidance. Yes, the all-knowing, and now all-seeing... Bert Schnick!!"

"We'll edit the tapes. This will never see airplay."

"I better get going. Tomorrow's the big one, and, well, Farley expects!"

"I'll leave you young things to it."

"The quacks are willing tools?"

"Well, Betty, there are many ways that the spider may catch the fly... Monetary inducements... Seduction... Prejudice... And lies!"

"Isn't that Brad and Janet Majors sitting down front? What an ideal couple... More than anyone else in Denton, they represent the old values... Ike would have been proud of them."

"Oh, I never watch that..."

"Yes. Macabre, isn't it. The blind leading the blind."

"Betty, it's imperative we get Janet out of Flavors' fast fingers and Brad out of that hell-hole before they both disappear forever. If only I could place that name -- McKinley?"

"Faith, Betty. But make sure it's your own."

"But the false promise of a new dawn usually leads to a most bloody sunset."

"Hey, folks, it's Ricky from the Rest Home!"

"Brad will learn how to care in the surgical chair!"

"[singing] Ever since I was the eine kleine herren/It was the Cordon Bleu for which I am most carin'/And the one taste treat so sweet, it really can't be beat/Is what we have, ja, how you are, caviar, that little black mess!"

"Hoopla Denton!"

"The subject is committed. As are we all."

"They should be sent to the Danube at dawn."

"Everyone loves the girl next door, particularly Farley."

"[singing] Every since I was a little boy, dressing up has always been my greatest joy. But when it's time to be discreet, there's one thing you just can't beat and that's a strapless, backless classical little black dress."

"[singing] Romance is not a children's game."

"[singing] I'm not a locum with motive to suture myself. I've been a cynic for too many years. Playing doctor and nurse, it can be good for your health. I've seen clinics with those gimmicks in Tangiers."

"[singing] You need a bit of... ooh, shock treatment/Get you jumpin' like a real live wire/Need a bit of... ooh, shock treatment/So look out, mister, don't you blow your last resistor for a vista that'll mystify ya!"

"Does he do that often? ... Good! Well there's still hope. Lots of hope."

"HE!!?? How dare this person take advantage of my weakness."

"With Fast Food Farley at the helm it'll be TV dinners from now on."

"There are countless people in this world, Janet, who believe they're happy."

"Brad has deep feelings of hostility towards you. ... It's classical. Almost a textbook case..."

"You are the most desirable creature that ever walked."

"In the old series, we never had a convertible."

"[singing] I feel the heat from your skin and the stubble on your chin, you're no good"

"[singing] But if you open your heart to a smooth operator, he'll take you for all that you've got. He'll hand you a curse that'll be with you later. It'll shake you the way he takes off... like a shot."

"I don't think he intends to go *that* far."

"This could be worse than the old series."

"Bert! So nice to see you up and about. Care to join me in an on-set snack?"

"We understand you've been going through a rather trying time."

"Our speciality!"

"Dear old Bert's settled everything."

"Coming from a gourmet, that's praise indeed. But, secrets!"

"I just love home movies, don't you?"

"The question is, does Brad want to see you? Quite frankly, he hates you."

"We only want what's best for him. As parents, you must understand."

"We used them. All of them."

"This is Janet. She's a phenomenon."

"Brad's an emotional cripple, remember? But even he wouldn't want to see you like this."

"[pouring pills down Brad's throat] Amateurs!"

"Like a virgin with an urgin' in a surgery, I'll be swinging, I'll be bringing out the nurse in me."

"She let us down. She let us all down!"

"It's all right, Brad dear... Have another sedative. We'll miss you on the show tonight."

"Shut up, Emily, and listen to a success story."

"[singing] Faggots are maggots, thank God I'm a man."

"I never had the time to have a nervous breakdown."

"[singing] You're blinded by romance, you're blinded by science. Your condition is critically grave, but don't expect mercy from such an alliance. Suspicion of tradition's so new wave."

"Sign the contract tomorrow... That way, you get the first day free."

"[singing] Legs like mine were meant for dancin'. Oh, look what I did to my Id!"

"[singing] You'll find happy hearts, and smiling faces, and tolerance for, the ethnic races, in Denton."

"I can't stand it! Everything good always happens to other people!"

"I tell you, Janet, that guy's as close as we'll come to a successful man in this town."

"You keep up that high standard of interview and I'll have to include you in Farley's documentary. You were so... probing!"

"And Fast Food Giant Farley Flavors has given Miss Mental Health what can only be described as an official kiss of approval and the crowd are loving it as they follow her down the Dentonvale trail."

"And how does 'local girl' Janet Majors fit into the scheme of things?"

"An' so if you're a follower of exotic trends in fashion you'll find plenty to keep you going here tonight...and, naturally, feeling the excitement and not wishing to stick out like a sore thumb, I had to get an outfit of my own together...and this is it..."

"[singing] I spent a lifetime on deposit, and that's a long time in the closet. And when you say to me 'How was it?' it was hard taking that heart-breaking godforsaken route. But now I'm b-b-breaking out!"

"Once upon a time, there lived a real fast guy. His life was fast. His friends were fast. Heh - even his food was fast. But he was still not satisfied. He wanted to share his fast philosophy with someone else, a beautiful girl. Trouble was, she was in the arms of... another man."

"The sun never sets on those who ride into it."

"First and foremost, Farley Flavors' fabulous fast foods feed and fortify families for a fabulous future."

"Trust Me, I'm A Doctor."

"The Home of Happiness"

"This town doesn't just love television... they LIVE it!"

"One From The Vault!"

"It's Not A Sequel... It's Not A Prequel... It's An Equal"

"From The Creators Of The Rocky Horror Picture Show"

"Jessica Harper - Janet Majors (née Weiss)"

"Cliff De Young - Brad Majors / Farley Flavors"

"Richard O'Brien - Dr. Cosmo McKinley (Mac)"

"Patricia Quinn - Dr. Nation McKinley"

"Charles Gray - Judge Oliver Wright"

"Nell Campbell - Nurse Ansalong"

"Barry Humphries - Bert Schnick"

"Ruby Wax - Betty Hapschatt"

"Jeremy Newson - Ralph Hapschatt"

"Wendy Raebeck - Macy Struthers"

"Rik Mayall - 'Rest Home' Ricky"

"Darlene Johnson - Emily Weiss"

"Manning Redwood - Harry Weiss"

"Betsy Brantley - Neely Pritt"

"Chris Malcoml - Officer Vance Parker"

"Gary Shail - Oscar Drill"

"Þór: Stop fucking with bullrouts! [As the other kids called one ugly and kicked it.]"

"Kristján: [to Þór] I will do anything for you!"

"Þór: [to Kristján] Just stop acting so weird and everything will be fine!"

"Hafdís: Kristján, please don't take this the wrong way. I only say this because I care about you. But... if you were gay, it would be alright. [He cries and runs away.] Kristján! Kristján, I meant well."

"Doctor, I am not paranoid. Bobbi was making threats over the phone. She said she's going to hurt me. My patient was slashed to death. And now my razor is gone. Now you don't have to be a detective to figure it out, do you?"

"Don't make me be a bad girl again!"

"[on Elliott's answering machine] This is Bobbi. You won't see me anymore, so I thought I'd have a little session with your machine. Oh Doctor, I'm so unhappy. I'm a woman trapped inside a man's body - and you're not helping me to get out! So I got a new shrink, Levy's his name, he's gonna sign the papers so I can get my operation. Oh... I borrowed your razor... and - well, you'll read all about it. Some blonde bitch saw me, but I'll get her."

"Thank god, straight fucks are still in style!"

"The latest fashion in murder."

"Every nightmare has a beginning...This one never ends."

"Michael Caine - Dr. Robert Elliott/Bobbi"

"Angie Dickinson - Kate Miller"

"Nancy Allen - Liz Blake"

"Keith Gordon - Peter Miller"

"Dennis Franz - Detective Marino"

"David Margulies - Dr. Levy"

"Ken Baker - Warren Lockman"

"Susanna Clemm - Betty Luce"

"Brandon Maggart - Cleveland Sam"

"William Finley - the voice of Bobbi"

"That's right, bitch, don't tell me about the alarm."

"It's not what you steal... it's who you steal it from."

"[listening to the loud sounds of sex] Who is this guy? [listening to even louder sounds of sex] And why don't I have his phone number?"

"[to the man who just tried to kill her by drowning] You ruined my life, my 'do, AND my Manilow tapes!"

"Dr. Cynthia Sheldrake: There is a DISTINCT difference between killing someone and fucking them!"

"Carl Hefler: Did you know that policemen have the highest rate of suicide?"

"Frankie: That's not really my forte."

"Whoopi Goldberg as Bernice Rhodenbarr."

"Bobcat Goldthwait as Carl Hefler."

"G.W. Bailey as Ray Kirschman."

"Lesley Ann Warren as Dr. Cynthia Sheldrake."

"James Handy as Carson Verrill."

"Anne De Salvo as Detective Todras."

"John Goodman as Detective Nyswander."

"Elizabeth Ruscio as Frankie."

"Vyto Ruginis as K.E. Graybow."

"Larry Mintz as Vincent 'Knobby' DiCarno."

"Raye Birk as The Jogger."

"Eric Poppick as Deliveryman."

"Scott Lincoln as Man in Cadillac."

"Thom Bray as Shoplifter in Bookstore."

"Ethan Phillips as Barman. (uncredited)"

"[as Réa is mounting on him] I'm your horse?"

"Would you accept to be the mother of a god? To be Mary? Why are sons always asked to be gods?"

"And as they did not like to acknowledge God, God delivered them over to a discerning mind, to do unsuitable things: being filled with all injustice, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, homicidal thoughts, strife, deceit, bad habits; whisperers, revilers, enemies of God. Some who understand the law of God still practice such actions. They are worthy of death. They not only do them, but even commend those who practice them."

"Sometimes, I can admit if I love Hansi's ass so much, then it's because I want God to curse it. I now associate joy... That faraway joy in God that I knew... I admit they're both equally holy. Her ass makes me realize I never really loved God. I liked the idea of being abandoned by God. I was reciting catechism, that's all. God is something other than my old prayers. He is my way of losing my senses. By loving Hansi, I hope to slowly lose my senses. In a slow way, but not lifeless, you know. A choppy slowness. Choppy and scalp-tingling. It doesn't always make me happy. I don't think I lose my senses more with Hansi than with God. I don't know if you wanted to guide me toward this slowness. Maybe you think Hansi isn't perverse enough for me."

"[last line of the film] Please, don't die, mom!"

"The pleasure only begins the moment the worm is in the fruit."

"Wrong isn't what we're about to do. Wrong is wanting to survive it."

"Your father was weak like you. Maybe now you know desire reduces us to weakness."

"The Turks are wonderful. Not like what people say. They're good. Nothing like the Spanish. They're the empty core of life. Living next to them is already stooping low."

"Loving your mother isn't everything... nor being intelligent. Nor being handsome. Nor being frighteningly serious. Where will that take you if you ignore the joy of others?"

"Your father is dead. I won't lie to you anymore. You must admit that I'm worse than him. I don't deserve your respect. What do you think I've been doing every afternoon all these years? Why were you raised by your grandmother? What did you imagine? Look at me, Pierre! I'm a bitch. A slut. No one respects me. Your father knew. He allowed it. If you really love me, then admit that I'm disgusting. I want you to love me for that. For the shame I inspire in you."

"Even if we're thousands of kilometers apart. We must refuse together the world of those patiently waiting for death to enlighten them. We must turn our backs to them with pride."

"The last lap is always the best!"

"The origin of the world is this hole. Nowhere else. Never believe those who pretend otherwise."

"Loulou: This goes to your mother. The Mediterranean bitch."

"Father: I would have preferred doing otherwise. Or living otherwise. But I let myself get overcome by things. Things foreign to me. They settled in. Little by little. They destroyed my hope. They began to rule. You can understand that when I was young this wasn't the life I dreamed of. I didn't dream of this Iife because I wasn't this person.I was full of joy and energy. You didn't know me, Pierre. As soon as you were born, my youth fell apart. I have the impression that my life today doesn't correspond to my true nature. I have the impression I haven't changed. Still full of joy and energy. But unable to prove it to others. Alone in my joy and energy."

"Isabelle Huppert as Hélène"

"Louis Garrel as Pierre"

"Emma de Caunes as Hansi"

"Joana Preiss as Réa"

"Jean-Baptiste Montagut as Loulou"

"Dominique Reymond as Marthe"

"Olivier Rabourdin as Robert"

"Philippe Duclos as Father"

"It's just that, today, I finally realized that I was raised to be a failure. I was groomed for it. [...] Today, I finally began to see how some of the other pieces of the puzzle relate to them. Like why I never finished anything I've started in my life. My neurotic compulsion to not succeed."

"There's one thing to be said about masturbation: you certainly don't have to look your best."

"Donald, you are a real card-carrying cunt."

"Show me a happy homosexual and I'll show you a gay corpse."

"I just didn't think I could survive another hangover, that's all. Didn't think I could get through one more morning-after ick attack. [...] Icks. Anxiety. Guilt. From that split second when your eyes pop open, and you say, "My God, what did I do last night?" And then suddenly, zap. Total recall. [...] And then that struggle to survive until lunchtime, when you have a double bloody mary. That is, if you've waited till lunch. And then you're half pissed and useless for the rest of the afternoon. So you hang on till cocktail time. And by then, you're ready for what the evening holds, which hopefully is another party, where the whole goddamn cycle starts all over again. Yeah, well, I've been on that merry-go-round long enough. And I either had to get off or die of centrifugal force."

"It's not always like it happens in plays. Not all faggots bump themselves off at the end of the story."

"You must never call anyone called Michael, Mickey. Those of us who are named Michael get very nervous about it."

"I feel like Old Man River. I'm tired of living and I'm scared of dying."

"Who is she? Who was she? Who does she hope to be?"

"Your lips are turning blue. You look like you've been rimming a snowman."

"Beware the hostile fag. When he's sober, he's dangerous. When he drinks, he's lethal."

"You're a sad and pathetic man. You're a homosexual and you don't want to be, but there's nothing you can do to change it. Not all the prayers to your god, not all the analysis you can buy in all the years you've go left to live. You may one day be able to know a heterosexual life if you want it desperately enough. If you pursue it with the fervor with which you annihilate. But you'll always be homosexual as well. Always Michael. Always. Until the day you die."

"Who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here?"

"Today is Harold's birthday. This is his present."

"Extraordinary. Groundbreaking. Controversial."

"He's unnaturally, naturally beautiful and he's just one of Harold's birthday presents!"

"Kenneth Nelson as Michael"

"Leonard Frey as Harold"

"Cliff Gorman as Emory"

"Laurence Luckinbill as Hank"

"Frederick Combs as Donald"

"Keith Prentice as Larry"

"Robert La Tourneaux as Cowboy Tex"

"Reuben Greene as Bernard"

"Peter White as Alan McCarthy"

"Thank you for trying to get me to like Christmas. I love that you love it. I'm just so content taking care of other people's pets when they're away for the holiday."

"[about Harper]: She is my person and I really want everyone to know that. I want to marry her."

"I know this is very old-fashioned, but I am probably gonna ask her dad for his blessing and propose to her on Christmas morning."

"Harper isn't out and her parents don't know we're together."

"Do you know how painful it's been to watch the person that I love choose to hide me?"

"Yesterday I never felt closer to another person in my entire life, and now I don't know her. I thought she loved me and was happy, but I see her here and she's so terrified of what everyone thinks. It's just making me wonder who the real Harper is."

"[after meeting Riley]: Well, who knows, maybe another one of your exes will bring out dessert."

"[to the question that does she have a boyfriend]: No. But I have. Cause... I have had many. Um, but‐but not too many; an‐an appropriate amount. I actually just went through a breakup. Yeah, with, um, he was a... he was a milk man."

"[to Abby]: How can you not love the lights and the decorations and the Christmas trees?"

"Come with me to my parents' house for Christmas. I want to wake up with you on Christmas morning. And if that doesn't convince you to love Christmas, I'll never bring it up again."

"I am not hiding you. I am hiding me."

"[to her sister, Sloane]: Snowman pancakes? God, that’s a lot of work for something that’s just gonna turn to shit. Oh, but that’s kind of like your law degree."

"Shut up, Jane!"

"Sloane wasn't lying! I'm gay. And I am in love with Abby. I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner, but I know how much appearances and reputation matter to you. And me being gay didn't fit into the plan. But I let myself hurt Riley because I was so scared that you'd find out I wasn't who you wanted me to be, and I still regret it. I can't do that to Abby and throw away our life together. So I am done being scared, and I am done keeping secrets."

"[repeated line to Abby]: I'm tracking you."

"I track everybody. If the NSA can do it, so can I."

"Abby, you and Harper have a perfect relationship. Why do you want to ruin that by engaging in one of the most archaic institutions in the history of the human race?"

"Way to stick it to the patriarchy. Really well done."

"So her parents think that their straight daughter brought home her lesbian friend for Christmas?"

"Have they ever met a lesbian?"

"Everybody's story is different. Just because Harper isn't ready doesn't mean she never will be, and it doesn't mean she doesn't love you."

"The money doesn't matter. When I sell my book, I'll take care of all of us."

"I have a way with routers."

"I don't know about you, but I am single and I am ready to mingle."

"Come on, guys. Just hug it out."

"[to Sloane]: Freeze! Don’t move one more muscle before I hug you!"

"I had night terrors. They put me down here so I wouldn't wake everyone up."

"Let me know if you guys need any more room. I can make myself real small."

"[after Harper accidentally destroys her painting]: I put 100 hours into that painting, and you... you just destroyed it like it was nothing. It was something. I am something. And guess what: I like myself. And maybe you all don’t because I’m not fancy. But whether you like it or not, I’m a part of this family, and I will not be left out anymore!"

"I always skated circles around you."

"You have no idea what goes on in other people’s families, so you need to just keep your mouth shut!"

"Harper is a lesbian! Abby is her girlfriend."

"[while fighting with Harper and Abby wants to interfere]: You stay out of this, Sappho!"

"[to her parents]: Eric and I are getting a divorce. We separated a few months ago. And the truth is I didn’t tell you because without my family I’m worthless to you. We’ve spent our entire lives trying to earn your love, and I’m done, too."

"[after Abby is introduced to him as Harper's orphan friend]: Yes, of course. It's terrible. [pats her shoulder] There, there."

"Isn't this the best time of the year? I mean, really."

"I love you, girls. And I'm sorry for making you think that anything could ever get in the way of that. I want to do better, and it will take time, but all I want for you is to find the same joy and happiness that you have given me, no matter where it comes from."

"I started an Instagram feed for your father to give voters a peek behind the curtain. Your mother's going viral!"

"We have been so worried about seeming perfect, but maybe we don't even know what perfect is. We have one daughter who has been unhappy in a marriage and felt like she couldn't tell us! And another daughter who just had her heart broken because she was afraid we wouldn't love her if she told us the truth. And the only reason that Jane is okay is because we gave up on her after she wouldn't stop biting in preschool. That is very far from perfect, if you ask me."

"This holiday, everyone’s secrets are coming out."

"This holiday, come out and meet the family."

"One big secret, two terrible liars."

"Kristen Stewart - Abigail "Abby" Holland"

"Mackenzie Davis - Harper Caldwell"

"Alison Brie - Sloane Caldwell"

"Aubrey Plaza - Riley Johnson"

"Dan Levy - John"

"Mary Holland - Jane Caldwell"

"Victor Garber - Ted Caldwell"

"Mary Steenburgen - Tipper Caldwell"

"Ana Gasteyer - Harry Levin"

"Jake McDorman - Connor"

"Burl Moseley - Eric"

"I'm just like you. For the most part, my life is totally normal. My dad was the annoyingly handsome quarterback who married the hot valedictorian. And no, they didn't peak in high school. I have a sister I actually like, not that I'd ever tell her that, and last year, and 200 episodes of Chopped ago, she decided she wanted to be a chef, which means we're pretty much all her test subjects now. And then there's my friends. Two of them I've known since pretty much the beginning of time, or at least kindergarten. One of them, I just met a few months ago, but it feels like I've known her forever. We do everything friends do. We drink way too much iced coffee, watch bad '90 movies and hang out at Waffle House dreaming of college and gorging on carbs. So, like I said, I'm just like you. I have a totally, perfectly normal life. Except I have one huge-ass secret."

"There's a really thin line between laughing with someone and laughing at someone. And you are that line."

"I've been thinking about why I haven't come out yet. Maybe it's because it doesn't seem fair that only gay people have to come out. Why is straight the default? Or maybe it's because I can't be sure this whole "being gay" thing is forever. Or maybe it's that there's not that much of high school left and part of me wants to hold on to who I've always been just a little longer. And then, when I go to college in Los Angeles, I'll be gay and proud, I promise. I'm not sure who I'm promising. I'll keep ruminating."

"Simon means "the one who hears" and Spier means "the one who sees", so you put that all together and pretty sure that means I was just destined to be up in everybody's business."

"I'm gay. And I don't want you guys to think anything different. I'm still me."

"I came out to my entire family on Christmas. It didn't go great. And I've been avoiding my friends the whole break for all sorts of reasons. Change is exhausting. I feel like there's nowhere to hide from all the newness of everything."

"I don't care if you didn't think that my coming out was gonna be a big thing, Martin. Look, you don't get to decide that. I'm supposed to be the one that decides when and where and how and who knows and how I get to say it, that's supposed to be my thing! And you took that away from me."

"Dear students of Creekwood High School, as anyone with a half-decent data plan already knows, a recent post on this very website declared that I was gay. The delivery left something to be desired, but the message is true. I am gay. For a long time, I was killing myself to hide that fact. I had all these reasons. It was unfair that only gay people had to come out. I was sick of change. But the truth is, I was just scared. At first I thought it was just a gay thing. But then I realized, no matter what, announcing who you are to the world is pretty terrifying, because what if the world doesn't like you? So I did whatever I could to keep my secret. I hurt the best, most important people. And I want them to know that I'm sorry. I am done being scared. I'm done living in a world where I don't get to be who I am."

"I know that you've been pretending for so long it's hard to believe you can stop."

"Sometimes, I feel like I'm stuck on a Ferris wheel. One minute I'm on top of the world, and the next I'm at rock bottom. Over and over, all day long, because a lot of my life is great, but nobody knows I'm gay."

"I think I'm the kind of person who is destined to care so much about one person, it nearly kills me."

"Sorry to interrupt, but I have something to say that's a little more important than the national anthem. No offense, America."

"Nick Robinson — Simon Spier"

"Kathrine Langford — Leah Burke"

"Alexandra Shipp — Abby Suso"

"Jorge Lendeborg Jr. — Nick Eisner"

"Keiynan Lonsdale - Bram Greenfeld"

"Of all the places I could be, I just want to be here with you."

"You think I'm weak don't you? All of those years ago when we first fell in love, your father would say I was too sweet for my own good. Maybe he was right. You tell me it's a cruel world, and we're all running around in circles. I know that. I've been on this earth just as many days as you. When I choose to see the good side of things, I'm not being naive. It is strategic and necessary. It's how I've learned to survive through everything. I know you see yourself as a fighter. Well, I see myself as one too. This is how I fight."

"Please! Please! Can we... can we just stop fighting? I know you are all fighting because you are scared and confused. I'm confused too. All day... I don't know what the heck is going on. But somehow, this feels like it's all my fault. I don't know. The only thing I do know is that we have to be kind. Please, be kind. Especially when we don't know what's going on."

"So, even though you have broken my heart yet again, I wanted to say, in another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you."

"The universe is so much bigger than you realize."

"If nothing matters, then all the pain and guilt you feel for making nothing of your life goes away."

"Now, you may only see a pile of receipts, but I see a story. I can see where this story is going. And it does not look good. It. Does. Not. Look. Good."

"This is a life Free from destiny Not only what we sow Not only what we show This is a life (Every possibility) Free from destiny (I choose you, and you choose me)"

"This is a light Many lives that could've been (Free from entropy) Entangled for eternity"

"We find this life somehow alright This is a life Slow and sudden miracles View of other worlds From our window sills With the weight of eternity At the speed of light This is a life This is our life."

"A movie comes along that is accompanied with massive amounts of hype. Maybe it’s a critical darling, maybe it’s a commercial blockbuster, maybe it’s something in the middle, but one thing is clear — people are singing its praises early and often. And loudly. As a rule, these films tend to be excellent offerings, though perhaps not quite clearing the exceedingly high bar that has been set for them by the discourse. Occasionally, they prove to be something of a disappointment, leaving you wondering what so many people saw in them. But every once in a while, you get something that actually manages to outperform your already massive expectations. You get a film that is somehow even better than the people shouting its quality from the rooftops have led you to believe. You get a movie that is unlike anything you’ve seen before in the very best of ways. You get "Everything Everywhere All at Once.""

"Before it was a narrative convenience allowing for superhero crossovers, the idea of a multiverse — parallel worlds where alternative realities play out — was seen largely in films like Sliding Doors or Back to the Future. Everything Everywhere All At Once reclaims this concept for non-spandex cinema. … It details the myriad disappointments of Evelyn Wang (Michelle Yeoh), a Chinese-American matriarch who, she learns, represents a worst-case scenario for all of the infinite Evelyns in the multiverse. … Yet this movie’s meditations are far from somber. It owes more to The Matrix than its initial flow of family drama indicates.… Could it be 2022’s biggest word-of-mouth hit? We hope so."

"Michelle Yeoh – Evelyn Quan Wang, a dissatisfied and overwhelmed laundromat owner"

"Stephanie Hsu – Joy Wang / Jobu Tupaki, Evelyn's daughter"

"Ke Huy Quan – Waymond Wang, Evelyn's husband"

"James Hong – Gong Gong, Evelyn's father"

"Jamie Lee Curtis – Deirdre Beaubeirdra, an IRS inspector"

"Tallie Medel – Becky, Joy's girlfriend"

"Jenny Slate – Debbie the Dog Mom (a.k.a. "Big Nose"), a laundromat customer"

"Harry Shum Jr. – Chad, a teppanyaki chef working alongside Evelyn in an alternate universe."

"You can make yourself cum using only your mind? That's like the one thing my mind can't do."

"Gigi: I lost my virginity in what I thought was a park but... it turned out to be a graveyard, and now the ghost spirits live inside my eggs waiting to be reborn."

"Triple A: I'm incredible at hand-jobs but I also got a fifteen-sixty on the SATs."

"Beanie Feldstein - Molly Davidson"

"Kaitlyn Dever - Amy Antsler"

"Jessica Williams - Miss Fine"

"Lisa Kudrow - Charmaine Antsler"

"Will Forte - Doug Antsler"

"Jason Sudeikis - Principal Jordan Brown"

"Billie Lourd - Gigi"

"Diana Silvers - Hope"

"Skyler Gisondo - Jared"

"Molly Gordon - Annabelle aka "Triple A""

"Noah Galvin - George"

"Austin Crute - Alan"

"Victoria Ruesga - Ryan"

"Eduardo Franco - Theo"

"Nico Hiraga - Tanner"

"Mason Gooding - Nick Howland"

"Mike O'Brien - Pat the Pizza Guy"

"Don't be so eager to be offended. The narcissism of small differences leads to the most boring kind of conformity."

"You want to dance the mask, you must service the composer. You gotta sublimate yourself, your ego, and, yes, your identity. You must, in fact, stand in front of the public and God and obliterate yourself."

"The problem with enrolling yourself as an ultrasonic epistemic dissident is that if Bach's talent can be reduced to his gender, birth country, religion, sexuality, and so on, then so can yours. Now, some day, Max, when you go out into the world, and you guest conduct for a major or minor orchestra, you may notice that the players have more than light bulbs and music on their stands. They will also have been handed rating sheets - the purpose of which is to rate you. Now, what kind of criteria would you hope that they use to do this? Your score reading and stick technique, or something else?"

"There's no glory for a robot, Eliot. Do your own thing!"

"It's my score! You fucking, little nothing!"

"It is always the question that involves the listener, never the answer."

"Eliot Kaplan: The last thing I need is to be buttonholed in here by someone exactly like me."

"Cate Blanchett - Lydia Tár"

"Nina Hoss - Sharon Goodnow"

"Noémie Merlant - Francesca Lentini"

"Sophie Kauer - Olga Metkina"

"Julian Glover - Andris Davis"

"Allan Corduner - Sebastian Brix"

"Mark Strong - Eliot Kaplan"

"Sylvia Flote - Krista Taylo"

"Adam Gopnik - himself"

"Mila Bogojevic - Petra"

"Zethphan Smith-Gneist - Max"

"Lee Sellars - Tony Tarr"

"Sydney Lemmon - Whitney Reese"

"Meryl Streep as Dee Dee Allen, a narcissistic two-time Tony award-winning Broadway actress."

"James Corden as Barry Glickman, a narcissistic Broadway actor."

"Nicole Kidman as Angie Dickinson, a chorus girl who has been unable to get a chance to portray Roxie Hart in Chicago."

"Keegan-Michael Key as Principal Tom Hawkins, the principal of James Madison High School."

"Andrew Rannells as Trent Oliver, a Juilliard graduate who is between gigs and starred in the sitcom Talk to the Hand."

"Jo Ellen Pellman as Emma Nolan, a lesbian 17-year-old girl."

"Ariana DeBose as Alyssa Greene, a cheerleader who is Emma's closeted girlfriend."

"Kerry Washington as Mrs. Greene, Alyssa's mother and the head of Edgewater's PTA."

"Tracey Ullman as Vera Glickman, Barry's mother."

"Kevin Chamberlin as Sheldon Saperstein, Dee Dee and Barry's publicist."

"Mary Kay Place as Grandma Bea, Emma's supportive grandmother who raised her when Emma's parents kicked her out of their house for coming out to them."

"Logan Riley Hassel as Kaylee, Alyssa's cheerleader friend who disapproves of Emma taking a girl to prom and has a small tattoo on her wrist."

"Sofia Deler as Shelby, Alyssa and Kaylee's cheerleader friend who also disapproves of Emma taking a girl to prom and has lost her virginity."

"Nico Greetham as Nick, Kaylee's boyfriend whose parents are divorced."

"Nathaniel J. Potvin as Kevin Shield, Shelby's boyfriend."

"The blood of these whores is killing me."

"Why did you take me on this hopeless... journey? let me go home and die in peace! what good is it to have tea when I can't find the right vegetable to go with it? I guess I have to eat the rest of the Romanian lettuce... with lemon. Ze oil! Zey put zo much oil here on everyting! But there must be some cheese?"

"It's very useful for a woman to practise home-making."

"But they don't have ze food I eat. They only have chicken and vegetables I've never seen before. I am sure they have no wirgin meat."

"It must be tonight. The girls are beautiful, they look so pure... but how can we get at them?"

"My body can't take this treatment any more."

"How old are you, little girl?"

"Flowers that are too cultivated lose some of their parfume. They wither more quickly."

"In this house, one can say the most intelligent, most poetical things—and nobody takès any notice."

"Dracula, did you say? Dra-cu-la. The sound is so intriguing. Three syllables. Dra, cu, la. I think I like that name."

"I have never met a more perfect a name on the heraldic mark't. Your father, my children, can undarstand the substance of a form, the pulp of the fruit, by the peel that covers it. There are wine tasters and name tasters. Yes, Dracula. Just the right amount of Orient and Occident, of a reality and farntasy. If I were not too afraid of making literature or rhetoric out of it, I might add that it has borrowed some ingredient from the Count of Monte Cristo, or even Sinbad the Sailor."

"He couldn't live without a virgin's blood..... ...So a virgin had to die!"

"He'll go right to your neck and you'll go right to his heart."

"Udo Kier - Count Dracula"

"Joe Dallesandro - Mario Balato, the worker"

"Arno Juerging - Anton, Dracula's manservant"

"Vittorio de Sica - Il Marchese di Fiore"

"Maxime McKendry - La Marchesa di Fiore"

"Milena Vukotic - Esmeralda di Fiore"

"Dominique Darel - Saphiria di Fiore"

"Stefania Casini - Rubinia di Fiore"

"Silvia Dionisio - Perla di Fiore"

"Roman Polański (uncredited) - man in tavern"

"[to Bremovych as he dies] Did you really think I was going to give you that list?... Before you die, I want you to get this through that thick, primitive skull. I never worked for you. You worked for me... Every false intel I gave you, a rip in the iron curtain. Every piece of intel you gave me, a bullet in my fucking gun. I want my life back."

"You know those movies where the picture just starts to slow down... and melt? Then catch fire? Well, that's Berlin."

"You can't un-fuck what's been fucked. You know, a beautiful Italian girl once said to me, "David, you can't unfuck what's been fucked." Women are always getting in the way of progress, aren't they?"

"So, what have I learned after all this time? After all the sleepless nights, lying to friends, lovers, myself? Playing this crooked game in this crooked town filled with backstabbers and four-faced liars? I'll tell you what I've learned. One thing and one thing only. I fucking love Berlin!"

"Ironic. The news will tell them there will be no more secrets. But you and I, we both know that's not true. This world is run on secrets."

"Charlize Theron - Lorraine Broughton"

"James McAvoy - David Percival"

"John Goodman - Emmett Kurzfeld"

"Til Schweiger - The Watchmaker"

"Eddie Marsan - "Spyglass""

"Sofia Boutella - Delphine Lasalle"

"Roland Møller - Aleksander Bremovych"

"Jóhannes Jóhannesson - Yuri Bakhtin"

"James Faulkner - "C", head of MI6."

"Barbara Sukowa - the coroner"

"Toby Jones - Eric Gray"

"Oklahoma! With an exclamation point, no less! Fact - any title that feels the need for an exclamation point, you want to steer clear of."

"What do you call a tireless, relentless homosexual? 'Inde-faggot-ible.'"

"But to be a writer, you have to be kind of omni-sexual, don't you? You have to have, inside yourself - you know - everyone on earth: men women, horses. How can you give voice to the whole chorus of the world if the whole chorus of the world isn't already inside you?"

"Ethan Hawke - Lorenz Hart"

"Margaret Qualley - Elizabeth Weiland"

"Bobby Cannavale - Eddie"

"Andrew Scott - w:Richard Rodgers"

"Jonah Lees - Morty Rifkin"

"Simon Delaney - Oscar Hammerstein II"

"Cillian Sullivan - Stephen Sondheim"

"Patrick Kennedy - E. B. White"

"John Doran - Weegee"

"Anne Brogan - Frieda Hart"

"David Rawle - George Roy Hill"

"That was the day I stopped believing in the wild ardor of things. Perhaps in love, as well. That kind of love. The love in books and films. The love that tells us to abandon our lives and plans, all for one brief touch of Venus. So often we fail at that kind of love. The world just seems too fragile a place for it. And of every other kind, life remains full. Perhaps it's just we who are too fragile."

"Oh, Raymond, Mrs. Whitaker sounds so formal! Won't you please... ask me to dance?"

"You're all man to me! All man..."

"And there's nothing else you care to share with your very own adoring wife?"

"I know it's a sickness, because it makes me feel despicable."

"Here is to being the only one."

"I've learned my lesson about mixing in other worlds. I've seen the sparks fly. All kinds."

"Call me old fashioned, I just like all the men I'm around to be all men."

"Cathy? Oh, she's been liberal ever since she played summer stock at college with all those steamy Jewish boys. Why do you think they used to call her "Red"?"

"Girlfriend of mine, Shirley Dawson, her husband - every night of the week. Plus, three more times on the weekend. Can you imagine?"

"A good society paper need not be a gossip rag."

"You are the proud wife of a successful sales executive; planning the parties, and posing at her husband's side on the advertisements. To everyone here in Connecticut, you are - Mr. and Mrs. Magnatech."

"Dr. Bowman: Today, the general attitude regarding this sort of behavior is naturally more modern, more scientific than it ever has been before. But for those who do seek treatment, who possess the will and desire to lead a normal life, there still remains only a scant five to thirty percent rate of success - for complete heterosexual conversion."

"What imprisons desires of the heart?"

"What lies beneath the surface? What hides behind the walls? What imprisons desires of the heart?"

"It's time to stop hiding from the truth."

"Julianne Moore - Cathleen "Cathy" Whitaker"

"Dennis Quaid - Frank Whitaker"

"Dennis Haysbert - Raymond Deagan"

"Patricia Clarkson - Eleanor Fine"

"Viola Davis - Sybil"

"James Rebhorn - Dr. Bowman"

"Celia Weston - Mona Lauder"

"Michael Gaston - Stan Fine"

"Ryan Ward - David Whitaker"

"Lindsay Andretta - Janice Whitaker"

"Jordan Puryear - Sarah Deagan"

"Bette Henritze - Mrs. Leacock"

"Barbara Garrick - Doreen"

"Olivia Birkelund - Nancy"

"June Squibb - elderly woman"

"J.B. Adams - Morris Farnsworth"