"You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha …"

"Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I'm a middle-aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twen…"

"[to Albert] My cemetery's in Key Biscayne. It's one of the prettiest in the world. The sky is blue, palm trees, rolli…"

"Don't worry about that. I'm very maternal. And Albert's practically a breast."

"Louise Keeley: [examining the sexually provocative designs on the bowls] Oh, what interesting china. It looks like yo…"

"Come as you are."

"What could possibly come between a match made in heaven? The parents. Dinner. And a nightclub called... (The Birdcage)"

"Robin Williams - Armand Goldman"

"Gene Hackman - Senator Kevin Keeley"

"Nathan Lane - Albert Goldman"