"There's one thing to be said about masturbation: you certainly don't have to look your best."

"Donald, you are a real card-carrying cunt."

"Show me a happy homosexual and I'll show you a gay corpse."

"I just didn't think I could survive another hangover, that's all. Didn't think I could get through one more morning-a…"

"It's not always like it happens in plays. Not all faggots bump themselves off at the end of the story."

"You must never call anyone called Michael, Mickey. Those of us who are named Michael get very nervous about it."

"I feel like Old Man River. I'm tired of living and I'm scared of dying."

"Who is she? Who was she? Who does she hope to be?"

"Your lips are turning blue. You look like you've been rimming a snowman."

"It's just that, today, I finally realized that I was raised to be a failure. I was groomed for it. [...] Today, I fin…"