"I tell him about destiny; he's shaking his head. About dream girls; he doesn't care. I mention the underwear thing? H…"

"[voiceover] I was wetter than Drew Barrymore at a grunge club."

"It was the first time I felt how pitying someone and wanting to fuck them can get all tangled up in your head. Overwh…"

"Don't worry, I saw Lord of the Rings. I'm not going to end this 17 times."

"Wow, I feel sore. I mean physically, not like a guy who's angry in a movie in the 1950's."

"Anyway, by now you may wonder how I wound up here. Or maybe not. Maybe you wonder how silly putty picks shit up from …"

"And that's how she got to the same party as me. Oh shit. I skipped something. Damn it. This whole robot bit. I made a…"

"I sent Harmony home believing A, we'd meet tomorrow to go over her case, and B, I'm not actually gay. Please do not a…"

"Sex. Murder. Mystery. Welcome to the party."

"Dennis Quaid - Frank Whitaker"