Films set in New York City

"Here, let me tell you a joke, all right? There's three guys, and they're walking down the street. One guy says to the other one, "Hey, your shoe's untied." He says, "I know that." And they walk... No... There's two guys, they're walking down the street, and one of them says to the other one, "Your shoe's untied." And the other guy says, "I know that." And they walk a couple blocks further, and they see a third friend, and he comes up and says, "Your shoe's untied." "Your shoe's un — " Aaah, I can't remember this joke. But it's good."

"[while vacuuming] I'm choking the alligator."

"[watches plane take off] Aw, Willie. I had a bad feeling. Damn. What the hell are you gonna do in Budapest?"

"John Lurie - Willie"

"Eszter Balint - Eva"

"Richard Edson - Eddie"

"Cecillia Stark - Aunt Lotte"

"Danny Rosen - Billy"

"Rammellzee - Man With Money"

"Tom DiCillo - Airline Agent"

"Richard Boes - Factory Worker"

"Rockets Redglare, Harvey Perr and Brian J. Burchill - Poker Players"

"Sara Driver - Girl With Hat"

"Paul Sloane - Motel Owner"

"God is a luxury I can't afford."

"One sin leads to a deeper sin."

"I remember my father telling me, "The eyes of God are on us always." The eyes of God. What a phrase to a young boy. What were God's eyes like? Unimaginably penetrating, intense eyes, I assumed. And I wonder if it was just a coincidence that I made my specialty ophthalmology."

"Jack lives in the real world. You live in the kingdom of heaven. I'd managed to keep free of that real world, but suddenly it's found me."

"When he tells you he wants to exchange ideas, what he really wants is to exchange fluids."

"Show business is, is dog-eat-dog. It's worse than dog-eat-dog. It's dog-doesn't-return-other-dog's-phone-calls. You know, it's just terrible. Which reminds me, I should really check my service. I don't know why, I haven't had a message in seven years! You know, I call up and I hear the girls on the other end giggling."

"While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like."

"I think I see a cab. If we run quickly we can kick the crutch from that old lady and get it."

"I don't know from suicide. Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide - they were too unhappy."

"What's the guy so upset about? You'd think nobody was ever compared to Mussolini before."

"The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty."

"A strange man defecated on my sister."

"Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, okay? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday."

"[after Levy's suicide] I got 600,000 feet of film on this guy. And he's telling how great life is and everything and now, you know. What am I gonna do? I'll cut it up and make it into guitar picks."

"We really do have to go. I have to get up at dawn and teach Emily Dickinson to a bunch of upper-middle class crack addicts."

"We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand scale, most of these choices are on lesser points. But we define ourselves by the choices we have made. We are, in fact, the sum total of our choices. Events unfold so unpredictably, so unfairly, Human happiness does not seem to be included in the design of creation. It is only we, with our capacity to love that give meaning to the indifferent universe. And yet, most human beings seem to have the ability to keep trying and even find joy from simple things, like their family, their work, and from the hope that future generations might understand more."

"When we fall in love, we are seeking to re-find all or some of the people to whom you were attached as children. On the other hand, we ask our beloved to correct all the wrongs that these early parents or siblings inflicted on us. So, love contains in it the contradiction, the attempts to return to the past and the attempt to undo the past."

"I've gone out the window."

"But we must always remember that when we are born we need a great deal of love in order to persuade us to stay in life. Once we get that love it usually lasts us. But the universe is a pretty cold place. It is we who invest it with our feelings. And under certain conditions, we feel the thing isn’t worth it any more."

"If it bends it's funny. If it breaks, it's not funny."

"Idea for a farce. A poor...loser does a documentary of a great man and in the process learns some deep values."

"I'll be honest. You're not my first choice."

"Comedy is tragedy plus time."

"Woody Allen - Clifford Stern"

"Martin Landau - Judah Rosenthal"

"Mia Farrow - Halley Reed"

"Alan Alda - Lester"

"Anjelica Huston - Dolores Paley"

"Sam Waterston - Ben"

"Jerry Orbach - Jack Rosenthal"

"Joanna Gleeson - Wendy Stern"

"Do you see what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is?"

"Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate."

"I'd fuck me. [Watching television documentary on his puppeteering when he's in John Malkovich's body.]"

"Maxine. Maxine. I love you, Maxine. Oh, look away. Look away [Looking through Emily's eyes at the end]"

"Do you have any idea what it's like to have two people look at you, with total lust and devotion, through the same pair of eyes?"

"Behind the stubble and the too-prominent brow and the male-pattern baldness... I sensed your feminine longing. And it just slew me."

"Sounds great. Who the fuck is John Malkovich?"

"Help! He's locking me in a cage!"

"Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man."

"I have been to the dark side. I have seen a world that no man should see."

"That portal is mine, and it must be sealed forever for the love of God!"

"It's my head, Schwartz! It's my head!"

"Truth is for suckers, Johnny Boy."

"Maybe she's using you to channel some dead lesbian lover."

"Hot lesbian witches! Think about it! It's fucking genius!"

"You're nuts to let a girl go that calls you Lotte, I tell you that as a friend."

"Dr. Lester: Forever doomed to watch the world through someone else's eyes."

"Ever wanted to be someone else? Now you can."

"Ever Wanted To Be Someone Else?"

"Be All That Someone Else Can Be."

"John Cusack — Craig Schwartz"

"Cameron Diaz — Lotte Schwartz"

"Catherine Keener — Maxine"

"John Malkovich — John Horatio Malkovich"

"Orson Bean — Dr. Lester"

"Mary Kay Place — Floris (Lester's secretary/receptionist)"

"Charlie Sheen — Charlie"

"Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in your first half-hour at the table, then you are the sucker. Guys around here will tell ya, you play for a living, it's like any other job. You don't gamble, you grind it out. Your goal is to win one big bet an hour, that's it. Get your money in when you have the best of it. Protect it when you don't. Don't give anything away. That's how I paid my way through half of law school. A true grinder. You see, I learned how to win a little at a time. But finally I've learned this: if you're too careful, your whole life can become a fuckin' grind."

"I've often seen these people, these squares at the table, short stack and long odds against them. All their outs gone. One last card in the deck that can help them. I used to wonder how they could let themselves get into such bad shape, and how the hell they thought they could turn it around."

"We're not playing together. But then again, we're not playing against each other either. It's like the Nature Channel. You don't see piranhas eating each other, do you?"

"It's immoral to let a sucker keep his money."

"Just like a young man coming in for a quickie. I feel so unsatisfied."

"You've got to play the hand you're dealt."

"In The Game Of Life... Play The Cards You're Dealt"

"Trust everyone... but always cut the cards"

"Pick a card, any card"

"Matt Damon - Mike McDermott"

"Edward Norton - Lester "Worm" Murphy"

"John Malkovich - Teddy KGB"

"John Turturro - Joey Knish"

"Famke Janssen - Petra"

"Michael Rispoli - Grama"

"Martin Landau - Abe Petrovsky"

"Gretchen Mol - Jo"

"Paul Sorvino - Russian Thug"

"Melina Kanakaredes - Barbara"

"Josh Mostel - Zagosh"

"Something's going on. It has to do with that number. There's an answer in that number."

"You see the simplicity of the circle. You see the maddening complexity of the endless string of numbers, 3.14 off into infinity."

"12:45, Restate my assumptions: 1. Mathematics is the language of nature. 2. Everything around us can be represented and understood through numbers. 3. If you graph the numbers of any system, patterns emerge. Therefore: There are patterns everywhere in nature. Evidence: The cycling of disease epidemics; the wax and wane of caribou populations; sun spot cycles; the rise and fall of the Nile. So, what about the stock market? The universe of numbers that represents the global economy. Millions of human hands at work, billions of minds. A vast network, screaming with life. An organism. A natural organism. My hypothesis: Within the stock market, there is a pattern as well. Right in front of me. Hiding behind the numbers. Always has been."

"9:13, Personal note: When I was a little kid my mother told me not to stare into the sun. So once when I was six, I did. At first the brightness was overwhelming, but I had seen that before. I kept looking, forcing myself not to blink, and then the brightness began to dissolve. My pupils shrunk to pinholes and everything came into focus and for a moment I understood. The doctors didn't know if my eyes would ever heal. I was terrified, alone in that darkness. Slowly daylight crept in through the bandages, and I could see, but something else had changed inside of me. That day I had my first headache."

"I'm trying to understand our world. I don't deal with petty materialists like you."

"12:50, press return..."

"Failed treatments to date: Beta blockers, calcium channel blockers, adrenalin injections, high dose ibuprofen, steroids, Trager Mentastics, violent exercise, cafergot suppositories, caffeine, acupuncture, marijuana, Percodan, Midrine, Tenormin, Sansert, homeopathics. No results. No results..."

"10:15, personal note: It's fair to say I'm stepping out on a limb, but I am on the edge and that's where it happens."

"My new hypothesis: If we're built from Spirals while living in a giant Spiral, then is it possible that everything we put our hands to is infused with the Spiral?"

"If the number's there I'll find it!"

"It's just a number. I'm sure you've written down every 216 digit number. You've translated all of them. You've intoned them all. Haven't you? What's it gotten you? The number is nothing! It's the meaning. It's the syntax. It's what's between the numbers. You haven't understood it. It's because it's not for you!"

"There will be no order, only chaos."

"Have you met Archimedes? The one with the black spots, you see? You remember Archimedes of Syracuse, eh? The king asks Archimedes to determine if a present he's received is actually solid gold. Unsolved problem at the time. It tortures the great Greek mathematician for weeks — insomnia haunts him and he twists and turns in his bed for nights on end. Finally, his equally exhausted wife — she's forced to share a bed with this genius — convinces him to take a bath to relax. While he's entering the tub, Archimedes notices the bath water rise. Displacement, a way to determine volume, and that's a way to determine density — weight over volume. And thus, Archimedes solves the problem. He screams "Eureka" and he is so overwhelmed he runs dripping naked through the streets to the king's palace to report his discovery."

"Number? How many digits was it? 100? 1,000? 216?"

"Hold on. You have to slow down. You're losing it. You have to take a breath. Listen to yourself. You're connecting a computer bug I had with a computer bug you might have had and some religious hogwash. You want to find the number 216 in the world, you will be able to find it everywhere. 216 steps from a mere street corner to your front door. 216 seconds you spend riding on the elevator. When your mind becomes obsessed with anything, you will filter everything else out and find that thing everywhere."

"The Ancient Japanese considered the Go board to be a microcosm of the universe. Although when it is empty it appears to be simple and ordered, in fact, the possibilities of gameplay are endless. They say that no two Go games have ever been alike. Just like snowflakes. So, the Go board actually represents an extremely complex and chaotic universe."

"That is the truth of our world, Max. It can't be easily summed up with math."

"As soon as you discard scientific rigor, you're no longer a mathematician, you're a numerologist."

"Each letter's a number. Like the Hebrew A, Alef is 1. B, Bet is 2. You understand? But look at this. The numbers are inter-related. Like take the Hebrew word for father, 'Ab' - Alef Bet... 1, 2 equals 3. Alright? Hebrew word for mother, 'em' — Alef Mem... 1, 40 equals 41. Sum of 3 and 41... 44. Alright? Now, Hebrew word for child, alright, mother... father... child, 'Yeled' — that's 10, 30, and 4... 44."

"The Torah is just a long string of numbers. Some say that it's a code sent to us from God."

"It's survival of the fittest, Max, and we've got the fucking gun."

"Sean Gullette - Maximillian Cohen"

"Mark Margolis - Sol Robeson"

"Ben Shenkman - Lenny Meyer"

"Pamela Hart - Marcy Dawson"

"Stephen Pearlman - Rabbi Cohen"

"You don't have to be a mathematician to have a feel for numbers. A movie, by the way, was made — sort of a small-scale offbeat movie — called Pi recently. I think it starts off with a big string of digits running across the screen, and then there are people who get concerned with various things, and in the end this Bible code idea comes up. And that ties in with numbers, so the relation to numbers is not necessarily scientific, and even when I was mentally disturbed, I had a lot of interest in numbers."

"Once this baby starts kicking, it ain't gonna stop. So nobody get cute! [While carrying an automatic, high-powered shotgun to hold the villains at bay]"

"Hell of a damn grave. Wish it were mine."

"Anybody interested in grabbing a couple of burgers and hitting the cemetery?"

"I'm not talking about dance lessons. I'm talking about putting a brick through the other guy's windshield. I'm talking about taking it out and chopping it up."

"He looks pretty good for a suicide. Attempted, anyway."

"Let's shag ass."

"Why would a review make the point of saying someone's not a genius? You think I'm especially not a genius? [Pause] You didn't even have to think about it, did you?"

"Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't?"

"Wildcat was written in a kind of obsolete vernacular. Wildcat...pkow. Okay, I'm gonna go."

"The crickets and the rust-beetles scuttled among the nettles of the sage thicket. "Vámonos, amigos," he whispered, and threw the busted leather flintcraw over the loose weave of the saddlecock. And they rode on in the friscalating dusklight."

"FAMILY ISN'T A WORD...IT'S A SENTENCE."

"You Are Invited To A Remarkable Family Gathering."

"Gene Hackman - Royal Tenenbaum"

"Anjelica Huston - Etheline Tenenbaum"

"Gwyneth Paltrow - Margot Tenenbaum"

"Luke Wilson - Richie Tenenbaum"

"Ben Stiller - Chas Tenenbaum"

"Owen Wilson - Eli Cash"

"Bill Murray - Raleigh St. Clair"

"Danny Glover - Henry Sherman"

"Alec Baldwin - Narrator"

"Prized Beagle - Buckley"

"He is great! Geez, that old fat man. Look at the way he moves, like a dancer... And those fingers, them marshmellow fingers. And that stroke, it's like he's, uh, like he's playin' a violin or somethin.'"

"[After discovering that Charlie kept some money from him] With that fifteen hundred, I could have beat him. That's all I needed, Charlie... You'd love to keep me hustlin' for ya, huh, wouldn't ya? I mean, a couple more years with me scufflin' around in them little towns and those back alleys, you might make yourself enough to get a little pool room back in Oakland, six tables and a handbook on the side... Lay down and die by yourself."

"Now why did I do it, Sarah, why did I do it? I could've beat that guy, I could've beat him cold. He never would have known. But I just had to show him. Just had to show those creeps and those punks what the game is like when it's great, when it's really great. You know, like anything can be great, anything can be great. I don't care — brick-laying can be great if a guy knows. If he knows what he's doin' and why and if he can make it come off."

"[to Eddie] George Findley is a very rich man. His grandfather left him twenty-five percent of his tobacco company... He's a gentleman. Gentlemen gamble. He gets his kicks playin' a hustler. He's got an old Southern mansion with a pool table in the basement, drinks eight-year-old bourbon, smokes a cork-tipped cigarette... I never saw him play. They say he's one of the best... I've got confidence in Findley... That means I've got confidence that he's a loser, all the way a loser. You happen to be about only one-half loser, the other half winner."

"A motion picture that probes the stranger... the pick-up... why a man hustles for a buck or a place in the sun!"

"They called him "Fast Eddie"... He was a winner... He was a loser... He was a hustler."

"Only the angel who falls knows the depths of hell."

"It delves without compromise into the hungers that lie deep within us all."

"Trapped by the underworld . . . they risked love and fortune in a desperate gamble!"

"Paul Newman - "Fast" Eddie Felson"

"Jackie Gleason - Minnesota Fats"

"Piper Laurie - Sarah Packard"

"George C. Scott - Bert Gordon"

"Myron McCormick - Charlie Burns"

"Murray Hamilton - Findley"

"Michael Constantine - Big John"

"Jake LaMotta - Bartender"

"Vincent Gardenia - Bartender"

"I play the guitar whenever I cannot sleep, and I meditate every morning, complete with chanting and burning incense, so if you have to walk around I'd appreciate a little tiptoeing. Also: I sleep in the nude. "Au buffo." Winter and summer, rain or snow, with the windows open. And because I may have to go to the potty or to the fridge in the middle of the night, and because I do not want to put on jammies which I do not own in the first place, unless you're looking for a quick thrill or your daughter an advanced education I'd keep my door closed."

"I will bring home anyone or anything I chose including a one-eyed Episcopalian Kangaroo if that happens to be my kinky inclination."

"If you were a Broadway musical, people would be humming your face."

""It never occurred to us that William Shakespeare wrote the Wizard of Oz. However, Elliot Garfield makes a splendid Wicked Witch of the North." Tacky. Tacky. Well, if they're gonna kill me. Let 'em kill me with panache."

"Miss McFadden, today I begin rehearsals for my first New York play. It will be the most important day of my life. Am I nervous? No, I am not nervous. For I have meditated. I am relaxed. I am calm. I am confident. You, on the other hand, have not meditated, and therefore you are a pain in the ass."

"My careereth is over. I am making a horseth asseth of myselfeth. Mark, I'm begging you. I'm BEGGING you. You want this kind of performance? Let me play Lady Anne."

"What is it about you that makes a man with a hundred forty-seven I.Q. feel like a dribbling idiot?"

"You know I liked you from the first time I met you when you answered the door. I said to myself, "This is the best half-a-face I ever saw!""

"You know I love listening to you talk. I hate living with you but your conversation is first rate."

"You're not the only one who can yell rape, you know."

"Thank you Neil Simon for making us laugh at falling in love…again."

"Richard Dreyfuss - Elliott Garfield"

"Marsha Mason - Paula McFadden"

"Quinn Cummings - Lucy McFadden"

"Paul Benedict - Mark"

"Barbara Rhoades - Donna"

"Theresa Merritt - Mrs. Crosby"

"Michael Shawn - Ronnie"

"Patricia Pearcy - Rhonda"

"That fucking skeezer- you think I give a fuck about her? Fuck that ho bitch! I don't give a fuck about her!"

"I know damn well ain't nobody sucked your shriveled-up dick."

"A million dollar a week business reduced to fucking rubble!"

"Sit your five-dollar ass down before I make change!"

"Am I my brother's keeper? Yes, I am."

"Money talks and bullshit runs a marathon. So, see ya and I wouldn't want to be ya."

"Yo baby, we talkin' about combinating and consolidating, that's what's up!"

"You gotta rob to get rich in the Reagan era."

"[testifying in court] I'm not guilty. You're the one that's guilty. The lawmakers, the politicians, the Colombian drug lords, all you who lobby against making drugs legal. Just like you did with alcohol during Prohibition. You're the one who's guilty. I mean, c'mon, let's kick the ballistics here: ain't no Uzi's made in Harlem. Not one of us in here owns a poppy field. This thing is bigger than Nino Brown. This is big business. This is the American way."

"Cancel dat bitch! I'll buy another one!"

"Yeah, we takin' over the Carter. We gon' bum rush the whole damn thing. Now if the tenants cooperate, oh, it'll be lovely; they'll be loyal customers. If they don't, fuck it, it's like Beirut- they'll become live-in hostages."

"I never liked you anyway, pretty motherfucka!"

"This whole drug shit: it's not a black thing, it's not a white thing. It's a death thing. Death don't give a shit about color."

"Look man, I don't know about all that "Change the World" shit, but what I do know, is that they be going crazy over this, man! I'm tellin' you! And the bitches? Oh, Lord! The bitches! Yo! They do anything for this, man! Yo, I had my jimmy waxed every day last week, ya understand?! Several times a day!"

"(talking to Uniqua) I knew I should've treated you like a hooker, you ain't nothing but a high-priced ho! Put Nino on the phone, bitch!"

"(talking to Duh Duh Man)...UNADULTERATED! Would you please shut the fuck up before you have a seizure!!"

"This ain't business, bitch- this is personal!"

"I wanna shoot you so bad, my dick's hard!"

"I should have killed you myself, bitch!"

"Oh shit, that's the kid I shot!"

"Man, a drug dealer is the worst kind of brother. I mean, he won't sell it to his sister, he won't sell it to his mother- but he'll sell it to one of his boys on the street."

"I don't know about you, man, but I'm ready to kill Nino Brown."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah- a mind is a terrible thing to waste. Now, back to the titties— what's goin' on in this drug store?"

"They got that shit hooked up like Mission Impossible, man!"

"(sobbing) I tried to kick... but that shit just be callin' me man, it be callin' me, man... I just got to go to it!"

"(Pooky describing a room used for freebasing) They call it the "Enterprise Room", man, because it's for people who wanna be beamed up to Scotty."

"[as Pooky peers into camera in despair] Scottie, help me - I'm gonna die!"

"(last lines) Idolator! Your soul is required in Hell! [shoots and kills Nino]"

"They're a new breed of gangster. The new public enemy. The new family of crime."

"Where survival depends on friends, trust and power... An organized crime family out to run this city is up against cops who knows its streets."

"Wesley Snipes - Nino Brown"

"Ice T - Scotty Appleton"

"Allen Payne - Gee Money"

"Chris Rock - Pookie"

"Judd Nelson - Nick Peretti"

"Mario Van Peebles - Stone"

"Michael Michele - Selina"

"Bill Nunn - Duh Duh Man"

"Russell Wong - Park"

"Bill Cobbs - Old man"

"Christopher Williams - Kareem Akbar"

"Vanessa Williams - Keisha"

"Tracy Camilla Johns - Uniqua"

"Anthony DeSando - Frankie Needles"

"John Aprea - Don Armeteo"

"Fab Five Freddy - Master of Ceremonies"

"Flavor Flav - D.J."

"When it's hot like this, you know what I do? I put my undies in the Ice Box!"

"[in Richard's fantasy] It shakes me! It quakes me! It makes me feel goose-pimply all over!"

"Oooooooohhhh! This feels just elegant!"

"So he lured me down to his apartment. He made me sit on his piano bench. Then he made me play Chopsticks. Then suddenly he turned at me. His eyes bulging. He was frothing at the mouth. Just like The Creature from the Black Lagoon."

"Oh, do you feel the breeze from the subway. Isn't it delicious?"

"Your imagination! You think every girl's a dope. You think a girl goes to a party and there's some guy in a fancy striped vest strutting around giving you that I'm-so-handsome-you-can't-resist-me look. From this she's supposed to fall flat on her face. Well, she doesn't fall on her face. But there's another guy in the room, over in the corner. Maybe he's nervous and shy and perspiring a little. First, you look past him. But then you sense that he's gentle and kind and worried. That he'll be tender with you, nice and sweet. That's what's really exciting."

"This thing about women and me. I walk into a room. They sense it instantly. I arouse something in them. I bother them. It's a kind of animal thing I've got. Really quite extraordinary."

"Miss Morris, I'm perfectly capable of fixing my own breakfast. As a matter of fact, I had a peanut butter sandwich and two whiskey sours."

"My 3:00 patient jumped out of the window in the middle of his session. I have been running fifteen minutes ahead of schedule ever since."

"Until you are able to commit a simple act of terror, I strongly advise you to avoid anything as complex as murder."

"Waitress: Nudism is such a worthy cause. We must bring the message to the people. We must teach them to unmask their poor suffocating bodies and let them breathe again. Clothes are the enemy. Without clothes, there'd be no sickness, there'd be no war. I ask you, sir, can you imagine two great armies on the battlefield, no uniforms, completely nude? No way of telling friend from foe. All brothers, together."

"Marilyn Monroe - The Girl"

"Tom Ewell - Richard Sherman"

"Evelyn Keyes - Helen Sherman"

"Sonny Tufts - Tom MacKenzie"

"Robert Strauss - Kruhulik"

"Oskar Homolka - Dr. Brubaker"

"Marguerite Chapman - Miss Morris"

"Donald MacBride - Mr. Brady"

"Victor Moore - the Plumber"

"Carolyn Jones - Miss Finch"

"Doro Merande - Waitress in the vegetarian restaurant"

"My name is Dalton Russell. Pay strict attention to what I say because I choose my words carefully and I never repeat myself. I told you my name, that's the who. The where could most readily be described as a prison cell. But there's a vast difference between being stuck in a tiny cell and being in prison. The what is easy. Recently, I planned and set in motion events to execute the perfect bank robbery. That's also the when. As for the why, beyond the obvious financial motivation, it's exceedingly simple: Because I can. Which leaves us only with the how. And therein, as the Bard would tell us, lies the rub."

"When I said that I planned the perfect bank robbery, I meant precisely that."

"You have four seconds. Anyone still standing gets shot."

"My friends and I are making a very large withdrawal from this bank. Anybody gets in our way, gets a bullet in the brain."

"Peter, think very carefully about how you answer the next question, because if you get it wrong, your headstone will read: "Here lies Peter Hammond, hero who valiantly attempted to prevent a brilliant bank robbery by trying to hide his cellular phone, but wound up getting shot in the fucking head.""

"Anyone else here smarter than me?"

"Respect is the ultimate currency."

"Or am I just whistling "Dixie" out of my ass?"

"When I'm good and ready, I'm gonna walk right through the front door."

"Fact is, all lies, all evil deeds, they stink. You can cover them up for a while, but they don't go away."

"We got to sit back and look at this thing from a distance. Things are not all they appear to be."

"Until I talk to them, they get nothing, not even a cup of coffee."

"You planned every inch of this thing right from the start and you've got everybody marching to your beat, including me, and I'm through buying it."

"This ain't no bank robbery."

"Don't bullshit the bullshitter!"

"Look out, bad guys! Here I come."

"Detective first grade Keith Fraz-ahhh."

"Sorry to interrupt you, Mister Mayor, but there's an old American saying: When there's blood on the streets, somebody's gotta go to jail."

"Thank you, bank robber!"

"I need to be assured that certain interests are protected."

"I can change your entire program, so the sooner that you stop being my problem, and start being my solution, the better off you'll be."

"When there's blood in the streets it's time to buy. (attributed to Baron Rothschild)"

"Young Boy: Like my man Fiddy says, get rich or die trying."

"Veronica Keepsake: You're saying I violated section 34/Double-D?"

"Vikram Walia: Protect and serve my ass, where's my fucking turban?"

"Captain Darius: Get these guys some vests."

"Women! What could you say? Who made 'em? God must have been a fuckin' genius. The hair... they say the hair is everything, you know. Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls... just wanted to go to sleep forever? Or lips... and when they touched, yours were like... that first swallow of wine... after you just crossed the desert. Tits. Hoo-ah! Big ones, little ones, nipples staring right out at ya, like secret searchlights. Mmm. Legs. I don't care if they're Greek columns... or secondhand Steinways. What's between 'em... passport to heaven. I need a drink. Yes, Mr Simms, there's only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing: pussy. Hah! Are you listenin' to me, son? I'm givin' ya pearls here."

"I called an open meeting of this institution this morning because the incident that occurred this Tuesday last describes an issue that concerns all of us. Not an isolated case of vandalism, what happened is a symptom of a sickness in this society. A sickness which runs counter to the principles this school was founded on. A school among whose graduates, two have sat behind the desk in the Oval Office, in the White House. Baird men have run state departments, investment houses. Founded department stores, coached football teams. Our alumni receive their bulletins in ashrams in India and in palaces in Jordan: we are, in fact, known around the world as the cradle of this country's leadership. A beacon to the nations. But today, we are bleeding from disrespect. Blatant disrespect. Disrespect for our values, and disrespect for our standards. A disrespect for the Baird tradition. And, as the custodians of that tradition, we are here today to protect each other from those who threaten it."

"Al Pacino - Lt. Col. Frank Slade"

"Chris O'Donnell - Charlie Simms"

"James Rebhorn - Mr. Trask"

"Gabrielle Anwar - Donna"

"Richard Venture - W.R. Slade"

"Bradley Whitford - Randy"

"Ron Eldard - Officer Gore"

"Philip Seymour Hoffman - George Willis, Jr."

"[singing] When I dream on my own I'm alone but I ain't lonely. For a dreamer, night's the only time-a day."

"Well, dat's da foist thing ya gotta learn - headlines don't sell papes. Newsies sell papes."

"You got no brains! Why are we starting to fight each other? It's just what the big shots want to see that we're street trash; street rats with no brains with no respect for nothin' including ourselves! So here's how it is: if we don't act together, then we're nothin', if we don't stick together, we're nothin', and if we can't even trust each other, then we're nothin'."

"[singing] We're a union just by sayin' so."

"[David: Hey, hey, hey! What do you think you're doin'?] Runnin'! [continues running from the Delancy brothers as the Newsies cheer him on]"

"Remember Crutchie? [said to Morris Delancy before headbutting him]"

"We sell together, we split 70-30, plus you get the benefit of observin' me no charge!"

"Nope, it's nineteen, Weasel. It's nineteen, but don't worry about it; it's an honest mistake. See Morris, he can't count to twenty with his shoes on."

"[singing] If I hate the headline I'll make up a headline and I'll say anything I havta!"

"Look at this. "Baby Born With Two Heads". Must be from Brooklyn."

"Oh, you mean Jack Kelly. Yeah, he was here. But he put an egg in his shoe and...beat it."

"[first lines; opening narration] In 1899, the streets of New York City echoed with the voices of newsies, peddling the papers of Joseph Pulitzer, William Randolph Hearst, and other giants of the newspaper world. On every corner you saw them carrying the banner, bringing you the news for a penny a page. Poor orphans and runaways, the newsies were a ragged army without a leader, until one day, all that changed."

"Five bucks? We ain't got five bucks! We ain't even got five cents! Hey your honor how bout I roll ya for it, double or nothin'?"

"Five to one that Cowboy skunks 'em! Huh, who's bettin'?"

"Hey Cowboy! Nice shine-a'!"

"What are we supposed to do to the bums, kiss 'em?"

"Hey, glum and dumb! What'sa matta with you? You get your picture in the papes, you're famous. You're famous, you get anything you want! That's what's so great about New York!"

"I say, that what you say...is what I say."

"Never fear, Brooklyn is here!"

"Listen, they're gonna be playing with my hands alright. Cuz it ain't what they say, it's what we say. And nobody ain't gonna listen to us unless we make 'em."

"Well if it ain't Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.,"

"That ain't good enough Jackie-boy, you gotta show me."

"Hey, Your Honor, I object! [Judge: On what grounds?] On the grounds of Brooklyn."

"It's this brain of mine, always makin' mistakes. It's got a mind of its own!"

"When ya' learn from Jack, ya' learn from the best."

"You can't let 'em beat ya, right Jack? That's what you always said!"

"A Thousand Voices. A Single Dream."

"They Found The Courage To Challenge The Powerful! (DVD release)"

"For years, they've delivered the papers. Now, they're about to make the headlines."

"Christian Bale - Jack "Cowboy" Kelly / Francis Sullivan"

"David Moscow - David Jacobs"

"Bill Pullman - Bryan Denton"

"Robert Duvall - Joseph Pulitzer"

"Ann-Margret - Medda Larkson"

"Luke Edwards - Les Jacobs"

"Ele Keats - Sarah Jacobs"

"Aaron Lohr - Mush Meyers"

"Max Casella - Racetrack Higgins"

"Michael A. Goorjian - Skittery"

"Gabriel Damon - Spot Conlon"

"Marty Belafsky - Crutchy"

"Jeffrey DeMunn - Mayer Jacobs"

"Deborra-Lee Furness - Esther Jacobs"

"Kevin Tighe - Mister Snyder"

"Michael Lerner - Weasel/Weisel"

"Shon Greenblatt - Oscar Delancey"

"David Sheinkopf - Morris Delancey"

"Charles Cioffi - Don Seitz"

"William Boyett - Judge Monahan"

"Marc Lawrence - Mr. Kloppman"

"Arvie Lowe, Jr. - Boots Arbus"

"Dominic Lucero - Bumlets"

"Kevin Stea - Swifty"

"Dee Caspary - Snitch"

"Trey Parker - Kid Blink"

"Mathew Fields - Snipeshooter"

"Kevin Michaels - Ten-Pin"

"David James Alexander - Governor Theodore Roosevelt"

"Robert Feeney - Snoddy"

"Joseph Conrad - Jake"

"Ivan Dudynsky - Dutchy"

"Dominic Maldonado - Itey"

"Julia Bax - Mattie Conrad"

"Julia Pando - Katherine Plumber"

"Mark David - Specs"

"David Sidoni - Pie Eater"

"I can't believe how small this apartment is, it's actually shocking! It's a very good thing your parents went to the movies, we'd never have squeezed in! You realize, I can actually move from one side of this apartment to the other in 6 seconds. Watch this, 1...."

"Your mother is terrifying. I thought she was going to cut me up and feed me to the poor."

"A comedy about love at last glance."

"Over. Done. Finished. A comedy about love at last glance."

"This winter, take a second look at the one beside you."

"Sandra Bullock — Lucy Kelson"

"Hugh Grant — George Wade"

"Alicia Witt — June Carter"

"You know what you can do with them dishes. And if you ain't man enough to do it for yourself, I'd be happy to oblige. I really would."

"Lotta rich women back there, Ralph, begging for it, paying for it, too...and the men - they're mostly tutti fruttis. So I'm gonna cash in on some of that, right?...Hell, what do I got to stay around here for? I got places to go, right?"

"Well, sir, I ain't a for-real cowboy. But I am one helluva stud."

"[to himself, in the mirror] You know what you gotta do cowboy."

"[to Ratso] You want me to stay here. You're after somethin'. What are you after? You don't look like a fag."

"We ain't gonna have to steal no more, that's what I'm tryin' to tell ya. I've got eight bucks in my damn pockets, twenty more come Thursday, boy. We're gonna be ridin' easy before very long, I'm gonna tell ya. She went crazy if you want to know the damn truth of it...She turned into a damn alley cat."

"Yours was the only one left with a palm tree on it. The clothes are damn cheap here too, you know that?"

"Everything we got only set us back ten and some... Hey you know, Ratso. Rico, I mean. I got this damn thing all figured out. When we get to Miami, what we'll do is get some sort of job, you know. Cause hell, I ain't no kind of hustler. I mean, there must be an easier way of makin' a living than that. Some sort of outdoors work. What do ya think? Yeah, that's what I'll do. OK Rico? Rico? Rico? Hey, Rico? Rico?"

"[to Joe] Terrific shirt."

"HEY! I'm walkin' here! I'm walkin' here! [bangs hand on car] Up yours, you son-of-a-bitch! You don't talk to me that way! Get outta here! [to Joe] Don't worry about that. Actually, that ain't a bad way to pick up insurance, you know."

"You know, with proper management, you could be takin' home fifty, maybe a hundred dollars a day, easy."

"The X on the windows means the landlord can't collect rent, which is a convenience, on account of it's condemned."

"Got my own private entrance here. You're the only one who knows about it. Watch the plank. Watch the plank. Break your god-damn skull. No way to collect insurance."

"It's not, not bad, huh? There's no heat here, but you know, by the time winter comes, I'll be in Florida."

"You know, in my own place my name ain't Ratso. I mean, it just so happens that in my own place, my name is Enrico Salvatore Rizzo...At least call me Rico in my own god-damn place."

"The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk. Did you know that? That's a fact. In Florida, they got a terrific amount of coconut trees there. In fact, I think they even got 'em in the, uh, gas stations over there. And ladies? You know that in Miami, you got, uh, you listenin' to me? You got more ladies in Miami than in any resort area in the country there. I think per capita on a given day, there's probably, uh, three hundred of 'em on the beach. In fact, you can't even, uh, scratch yourself without gettin' a belly-button, uh, up the old kazoo there."

"End up a hunchback like my old man? If you think I'm crippled, you should have caught him at the end of the day. My old man spent fourteen hours a day down in that subway. He come home at night, two to three hours worth of change stained with shoe polish. Stupid bastard coughed his lungs out from breathin' in that wax all day. Even a faggot undertaker couldn't get his nails clean. They had to bury him with gloves on."

"Not bad, not bad for a cowboy. You're OK. You're OK."

"You want the word on that brother and sister act. Hansel's a fag, and Gretel's got the hots for herself so who cares, right?"

"I don't think I can walk anymore. I've been fallin' down a lot. I'm scared...You know what they do to ya when, when they know you can't, when they find out that you can't walk-walk. Oh Christ."

"[to Joe] I'm gonna use ya. I'm gonna run you ragged...You and me can have fun together. It doesn't have to be joyless."

"I've prayed on the streets. I've prayed in the saloons. I've prayed in the toilets. It don't matter where, so long as He gets that prayer."

"Annie: Do you love me Joe? Do you love me? Love me? You're the only one Joe. You're the only one. You're better Joe. You're better than the rest of 'em. You're better than any of them Joe. You love me Joe. You're better than all of 'em. You're the best Joe."

"Shirley: Like, uh, say, hay, lay, hay, hey, lay, hmmm...gay ends in y. Hmmm? Do you like that?...Gay, fey. Is that your problem, baby?"

"Bus driver: Okay, folks, everything's all right. Nothing to worry about...Okay folks, nothin' to worry about. Just a little illness. We'll be in Miami in just a few minutes."

"Dustin Hoffman - Enrico Salvatore 'Ratso' Rizzo"

"Jon Voight - Joe Buck"

"Sylvia Miles - Cass"

"John McGiver - Mr. O'Daniel"

"Brenda Vaccaro - Shirley"

"Barnard Hughes - Towny"

"Jennifer Salt - Annie"

"{obituary for Jonathan} Johnathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancee. He was 35 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long-reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Jonathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. "Things were clearer for him," Kansky noted. Ultimately Johnathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum", what we currently refer to as destiny."

"You know the Greeks didn't write obituaries. They only asked one question after a man died: "Did he have passion?"."

"[Lying on the grass with Jonathan, outside Sara's house] Maybe we're lying here because you don't wanna be standing somewhere else."

"Contrary to popular New York myth the Times is not omniscient."

"[commenting on Jonathan's craziness] They should make pills for this."

"[commenting on Sara's craziness] They should make pills for this."

"You know who plays golf? Guys who are too fat to play tennis, like this guy."

"Destiny ... With A Sense Of Humor."

"Can Once In A Lifetime Happen Twice?"

"Sometimes True Love Can Have More Than One Face"

"No name. No address. Just fate."

"When Love Feels Like Magic, It's called Destiny. When Destiny Has A Sense of Humor, It's Called Serendipity."

"The love of your life could be in line for popcorn....."

"John Cusack - Jonathan Trager"

"Kate Beckinsale - Sara Thomas"

"Molly Shannon - Eve"

"Bridget Moynahan - Halley Buchanan"

"Jeremy Piven - Dean Kansky"

"John Corbett - Lars Hammond"

"Eugene Levy - Bloomingdale's salesman (Macall Polay)"

"Marcia Bennett Mrs. Trager"

"Eve Crawford - Mrs. Buchanan"

"Evan Neuman - Kenny"

"Buck Henry - (uncredited) as himself"

"A woman could trust me as long as her interests weren't too contrary to my own."

"Have you figured out what you're going to say to your board when they realize you paid me thirty million more than others were offering?"

"Do you want to dance? Or do you want to dance?"

"I saw him wreck a 100,000 dollar boat because he liked the splash."

"You think I'd believe you'd leave your hard stolen painting around a Caribbean hut?"

"You're not boring, I'll give you that."

"Men make women messy."

"Has it occurred to you that you have a problem with trust?"

"Pierce Brosnan - Thomas Crown"

"Rene Russo - Catherine Olds Banning"

"Denis Leary - Detective Michael McCann"

"Faye Dunaway - The Psychiatrist"

"[voiceover] The life of a playwright is tough. It's not easy as some people seem to think. You work hard writing plays and nobody puts them on. You take up other lines of work to try to make a living. I became an actor, and people don't hire you. So you just spend your days doing the errands of your trade. Today I had to be up by ten in the morning to make some important phone calls. Then I'd gone to the stationery store to buy envelopes. Then to the xerox shop. There were dozens of things to do. By five o'clock, I'd finally made it to the post office and mailed off several copies of my plays, meanwhile checking constantly with my answering service to see if my agent had called with any acting work. In the morning, the mailbox had just been stuffed with bills! What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to pay them? After all, I was already doing my best! I've lived in this city all my life. I grew up on the Upper East Side, and when I was 10 years old, I was rich! I was an aristocrat. Riding around in taxis, surrounded by comfort, and all I thought about was art and music. Now I'm 36, and all I think about is money!"

"[Upon entering the restaurant] I was beginning to realize that the only way to make this evening bearable, would be to ask Andre a few questions. Asking questions always relaxes me. In fact, I sometimes think that my secret profession is that I'm a private investigator, a detective. I always enjoy finding out about people. Even if they are in absolute agony, I always find it very interesting."

"Yeah, but are you saying it's impossible---? I mean, isn't it a little upsetting to come to the conclusion that there's no way to wake people up anymore, except to involve them in some kind of a strange christening in Poland or some kind of a strange experience on top of Mount Everest? I mean, because, the awful thing is, if you're really saying it's necessary to take everybody to Everest, it's certainly really tough, because everybody can't be taken to Everest. I mean, there must have been periods in history when it would have been possible to save the patient through less drastic measures; there must have been periods when---in order to give people a strong, more meaningful experience---you wouldn't have to take them to Everest!"

"Tell me, why do we require a trip to Mount Everest in order to be able to perceive one moment of reality? I mean... I mean, is Mount Everest more "real" than New York? I mean, isn't New York "real"? I mean, you see, I think if you could become fully aware of what existed in the cigar store next door to this restaurant, I think it would just blow your brains out! I mean... I mean, isn't there just as much "reality" to be perceived in the cigar store as there is on Mount Everest?"

"I just don't think I feel the need for anything more than all this, whereas, you know, you seem to be saying that it's inconceivable that anybody could be having a meaningful life today, and, you know, everyone is totally destroyed, and we all need to live in these outposts; but you know, I can't believe---even for you. Don't you find it pleasant just to get up in the morning?"

"I'm adequate to do any sort of a task, but I'm not adequate just to be a human being."

"[voiceover] All the other customers seemed to have left hours ago. We got the bill, and André paid for our dinner! I treated myself to a taxi. I rode home through the city streets. There wasn't a street, there wasn't a building, that wasn't connected to some memory in my mind. There, I was buying a suit with my father. There, I was having an ice cream soda after school. When I finally came in, Debbie was home from work, and I told her everything about my dinner with Andre."

"Remember that moment when Marlon Brando sent the Indian woman to accept the Oscar, and everything went haywire? Things just very rarely go haywire now. If you're just operating by habit, then you're not really living."

"I wouldn't put on an electric blanket for any reason. First, I'd be worried if I get electrocuted. No, I don't trust technology. But I mean, the main thing, Wally, is that I think that kind of comfort just separates you from reality in a very direct way."

"Do you know, in Sanskrit the root of the verb "to be" is the same as "to grow" or "to make grow"."

"Things don't affect people the way they used to. I mean it may very well be that 10 years from now people will pay $10,000 in cash to be castrated just in order to be affected by something."

"Okay, yes. We're bored. We're all bored now. But has it ever occurred to you, Wally, that the process that creates this boredom that we see in the world now, may very well be a self-perpetuating, unconscious form of brainwashing created by a world totalitarian government based on money? And that all of this is much more dangerous than one thinks? And its not just a question of individual survival, Wally, but that somebody who's bored is asleep, and somebody who's asleep will not say no?"

"He said 'I think that New York is the new model for the new concentration camp, where the camp has been built by the inmates themselves and the inmates are the guards and they have this pride in this thing they've built? They've built their own prison! And so, they exist in a state of schizophrenia where they are both guards and prisoners and, as a result, they no longer have -- having been lobotomized -- the capacity to leave the prison they've made or to even see it as a prison.' And then he went into his pocket and he took out a seed for a tree and he said 'This is a pine tree'. He put it in my hand and he said 'Escape before it's too late'."

"One of the gifts of "My Dinner with Andre" is that we share so many of the experiences. Although most of the movie literally consists of two men talking, here's a strange thing: We do not spend the movie just passively listening to them talk. At first, director Louis Malle's sedate series of images (close-ups, two-shots, reaction shots) calls attention to itself, but as Gregory continues to talk, the very simplicity of the visual style renders it invisible. And like the listeners at the feet of a master storyteller, we find ourselves visualizing what Gregory describes, until this film is as filled with visual images as a radio play — more filled, perhaps, than a conventional feature film. ... The movie is not ponderous, annoyingly profound, or abstract. It is about living, and Gregory seems to have lived fully in his five years of dropping out. Shawn is the character who seems more like us. He listens, he nods eagerly, he is willing to learn, but — something holds him back. Pragmatic questions keep asking themselves. He can't buy Gregory's vision, not all the way. He'd like to, but this is a real world we have to live in, after all, and if we all danced with the druids in the forests of Poland, what would happen to the market for fortune cookies?"

"Someone asked me the other day if I could name a movie that was entirely devoid of cliches. I thought for a moment, and then answered, My Dinner With Andre. Now I have seen the movie again; a restored print is going into release around the country, and I am impressed once more by how wonderfully odd this movie is, how there is nothing else like it. It should be unwatchable, and yet those who love it return time and again, enchanted."

"Andre Gregory - Andre Gregory"

"Wallace Shawn - Wally Shawn"

"By all means move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me."

"Yes, because that's really what this whole multibillion-dollar industry is all about, isn't it? Inner beauty."

"Hell on Heels"

"Meryl Streep – Miranda Priestly"

"Anne Hathaway – Andrea "Andy" Sachs"

"Emily Blunt – Emily Charlton"

"Stanley Tucci – Nigel"

"Simon Baker - Christian Thompson"

"Adrian Grenier - Nate Cooper"

"Tracie Thoms - Lily"

"Rich Sommer - Doug"

"Daniel Sunjata - James Holt"

"David Marshall Grant - Richard Sachs"

"Tibor Feldman - Irv Ravitz"

"Rebecca Mader - Jocelyn"

"Gisele Bündchen - Serena"

"Alyssa Sutherland - Clacker"

"Ines Rivero - Clacker at elevator"

"Stephanie Szostak - Jacqueline Follet"

"[repeated line] You know, for kids."

"For instance, take a look at this sweet baby. [Shows a drawn circle on a piece of paper] I developed it myself. Yessirie, this is my big ticket upstairs. You know, for kids."

"Fight on! Fight on dear old Muncie! Fight on hoist the gold and blue! You'll be tattered, torn, and hurtin' once the Munc' is done with you! Gooooooooooooo Eagles!"

"I wasn't expecting all this hoopla. You can quote me on that."

"Well look who it is. Amy Archer, Prizeter Pule winner."

"[Prologue] That's right. New York. It's 1958. Anyway, for a few more minutes it is. Come midnight it's gonna be 1959. A whole 'nother feelin'. The New Year. The future. Yeah ole daddy Earth fixin' to start one more trip 'round the sun and everybody hopin' this ride 'round be a little more giddy, a little more gay. Yep, all over town champagne corks is a-poppin'. Over in the Waldorf the big shots is dancin' to the strains of Guy Lombardo. Down in Times Square the little folks is a watchin' and waitin' for that big ball to drop. They all tryin' to catch hold of one moment of time. To be able to say "Right now! This is it! I got it!" 'Course by then it'll be past. But they all happy, everybody havin' a good time. Well, almost everybody. They's a few lost souls floatin' 'round out there. Now if ya'll ain't from the city, we have something here called "the rat race." Got a way of chewing folks up so that they don't want no celebrating, don't want no cheerin' up, and don't care nothing 'bout no New Year's. Out of hope. Out of rope. Out of time. This here is Norville Barnes. That office he's steppin' out of is the office of the president of Hudsucker Industries. It's his office. How'd he get so high? And why is he feelin' so low? Is he really gonna do it? Is Norville really gonna jelly up the sidewalk? Well, the future, that's something you can't never tell about. But the past, that's another story."

"[having just rammed a broom handle through a clock, thus freezing time. Line spoken to camera] Strictly speaking, I'm never supposed to do this. But you have any better ideas?"

"And so began 1959, the new year. When he learned that Norville owned the comp'ny, ol' Sidney was upset at first. It's a good thing Doc Bromfenbrenner was there because he was able to keep Sidney from harmin' his ol' self."

"And Norville, he went on an' ruled with wisdom and compassion and started dreamin' up them excitin' new ideas again."

"And that's the story of how Norville Barnes climbed waaay up to the forty-fourth floor of the Hudsucker Building, and then fell all the way down but didn't quite squish hisself. You know, they say there was a man who jumped from the forty-FIFTH floor? But that's another story."

"Hiya, buddy, my name's Buzz. I got the fuzz I make the elevator do what she does."

"Say, buddy, what takes fifty years to get up to the top floor and thirty seconds to get down? Waring Hudsucker! Ya get it, buddy?"

"Say, buddy, who's the most liquid businessman on the street? Waring Hudsucker! Say buddy, when is a sidewalk fully dressed? When it's Waring Hudsucker! You get it buddy! It's a pun, it's a knee-slapper, it's a play on- Jesus, Joseph, and Mary! Is that a Blue Letter! Christ Almighty, why didn't you tell a guy! Hold on folk, we'll express to the top floor."

"[repeated line] Sure, sure."

"Up! Up on your feet! We don't crawl here at Hudsucker Industries."

"Not that way, through the door!"

"This better be good. I'm in a bad mood."

"I'll stake my Pulitzer on it!"

"Moron. That's a five-letter word for "imbecile"!"

"Well, come on down here, hammerhead, and I'll show it to ya!"

"Why he has a face only a mother could love... on payday."

"Don't you remember how you used to feel about the hoop? You told me you were gonna bring a smile to the hips of everyone in America, regardless of race, creed or color. Finally there'd be a thingumajig that would bring everyone together -- even if it kept 'em apart, spatially."

"I used to think you were a swell guy. Well, to be honest, I thought you were an imbecile. But then I figured out you WERE a swell guy... A little slow, maybe, but a swell guy. Well, maybe you're not so slow, But you're not so swell either. And it looks like you're an imbecile after all!"

"A Comedy of Invention."

"They took him for a fall guy... but he threw them for a hoop."

"At Hudsucker industries there's a fast way to the top...and an even faster way down!"

"Tim Robbins — Norville Barnes"

"Paul Newman — Sidney J. Mussburger"

"Jennifer Jason Leigh — Amy Archer"

"Bruce Campbell — Smitty, Argus reporter"

"Bill Cobbs — Moses the Clock Man"

"Jim True-Frost — Buzz the Elevator Operator"

"I.M. Hobson - Myron Addison, a Board Member"

"My name is Howard Stern, and welcome to the new morning show. And we have a new feature for you. This is, uh, something special. We have a traffic copter now here at WWWW. Let's go up to Mama Look-a boo boo day in the traffic copter. Mama, you there? Hello? Mama? Uh. [Helicopter sound effect] Hello? [In Mama's voice] Yes, hello. This is Mama Look-a boo boo day, the only black traffic reporter in the Detroit area, I'm proud to say. [in his normal voice] Pleasure to make your acquaintance this morning, Mama. Tell me, uh, what's going on in the traffic? [in Mama's voice] First, a political statement, if I may. Kill, Kill, Kill... The White Man, by Eugene Mama Look-a boo boo day. Eugene is my pen name 'cause I wrote this while I was in the pen. OK, here we go. Kill, kill, kill the white man. Kill him until he is dead. Kill the white man. Thank you."

"[while playing country music] Howdy, cowpokes. Uh, I know I shouldn't be interrupting in the middle of a song, but I got to tell you something. I know a lot of you out there really love this music, but I just don't get it. Explain it to me. And maybe it's 'cause I went to college, and I never drove a truck and had sex with my daddy's sister, but...I guess what I'm trying to say is, I...I don't think I'm the man for this job. So this is your old pal Hopalong Howie saying I quit. I... I think I quit."

"It was then that I made a startling discovery...Lesbians equal ratings."

"I am the hero of the lesbian community, am I not, Robin?"

"I am Officer Howie, and there's a new law in town. We're taking it over."

"[to Alison] It's unbelievable. I got a job offer today from WNBC in New York. Afternoon drive, the most powerful radio station in their chain, $150,000 a year. And they said if I do really well, they're gonna syndicate my program all over the country. This is it. This is everything I want. It's like...It's the dream, the Big Apple."

"I was in the program director's office. His name is Pig Vomit. Yes, because he looks like a pig, and he makes you want to vomit. He's Pig Vomit."

"I want to pray to God right now. Jesus Christ, who I love so much, more than anything in the whole world, I am begging you, please...send a hit man to the United States of America to kill Pig Vomit finally. Thank you. I love you, God. I'll do whatever you say if you just make that come true."

"You know, I could get this girl. I know I could get her. And this is the hell that's my life. I mean, think about it. What would it be like to have sex with her? It would be amazing. But I'm not going to act on it. You know why? Because I'd be a schmuck. No, because I love Alison. She stuck with me through the whole thing, you know? You gotta respect that. I think you have to respect that. You have to respect that."

"So occasionally I make a fool of myself in public, and the FCC wants me off the air, and every fundamentalist group in this country hates my guts, and, yeah, most of the things I do are misunderstood. Hey, after all, being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses, is it not? But my life isn't bad at all. I'm still on the air, I've got my kids, and I've got Alison. Alison... She's the best friend I could ever have. And who knows? With a little time, the right energy...I think I could talk her into some hot lesbo action."

"This little puppy's finally gonna get housebroken."

"You are the Mother-fucking Antichrist!"

"Howard Stern can kiss my ass in hell!"

"Stuttering John: Wait! Wait! Is that it? What, the movie's over? Oh, yeah? That's bullshit! Hi. You know who I am? Yeah, I'm Stuttering John. And you know why I'm pissed? I'll tell you why. I've been getting up at 4:00 every morning to work for Howard. I've been pissing off every publicist, burning every freakin' bridge in the industry, And y-y-you'd figure Howard would pay me back by putting me in his movie! No, he doesn't! I'm not in the movie! I've been in here for 8 years, cuttin' his friggin' potato! I've been smacked around by Morton Downey, punched in the nose by Raquel Welch, and what do I get? I get fucking nothing! That's what I get! I'm not even in this fucking movie! He's says I'll be in the sequel! Yeah? What sequel? Suppose the movie sucks? Th-th-th-there won't even be any sequel!"

"He turned on everyone who tuned in!"

"Never before has a man done so much with so little."

"Howard Stern - Howard Stern"

"Robin Quivers - Robin Quivers"

"Mary McCormack - Alison Stern"

"Fred Norris - Fred Norris"

"Paul Giamatti - Kenny 'Pig Vomit' Rushton"

"Gary Dell'Abate - Himself"

"Jackie Martling - Himself"

"Carol Alt - Gloria"

"Richard Portnow - Ben Stern"

"Kelly Bishop - Ray Stern"

"Allison Janney - Dee Dee"

"Michael Murphy - Roger Erlick"

"Reni Santoni - Vin Vallesecca"

"Amber Smith - Julie"

"Jenna Jameson - Mandy"

"Leslie Bibb - NBC Tour Guide"

"John Stamos - Himself"

"Chris Barron - Himself"

"Flavor Flav - Himself"

"M.C. Hammer - Himself"

"Ted Nugent - Himself"

"Ozzy Osbourne - Himself"

"John Popper - Himself"

"Slash (musician) - Himself"

"Renee Suran - Herself"

"Dee Snider - Himself"

"Tiny Tim - Himself"

"David Letterman - Himself"

"For the last six months I've been spitting blood to get this agency one of the biggest account it's ever had. And at five o'clock this afternoon, we got the account. At eight o'clock, I am walking home with the vice president and tells me I'll be the next creative director of this department. I come through this door to share with my wife one of the five best days of my life, and she looks at me and tells me she doesn't want to live with me anymore! Can't you understand what she's done to me?"

"[having lunch with his boss] So the other morning, I'm at the refrigerator... you know, getting Billy ready for school. So I'm just in my underwear and he notices I've lost weight. And he comes in and pats me. He comes up to here... [touches his stomach]... and he says "Daddy, you've really lost a lot of weight", he looks up at me and he says "And it's all gone to your nose." [laughs] He was so cute. You know?"

"[in court] There's a lot of things I didn't understand, a lot of things I'd do different if I could. Just like I think there's a lot of things you wish you could change, but we can't. Some things once they're done can't be undone. My wife, my ex-wife, says that she loves Billy, and I believe she does, but I don't think that's the issue here."

"If I understand it correctly, what means the most here is what's best for our son. What's best for Billy. My wife used to always say to me: 'Why can't a woman have the same ambitions as a man?' I think you're right. And maybe I've learned that much. But by the same token, I'd like to know, what law is it that says that a woman is a better parent simply by virtue of her sex? You know, I've had a lot of time to think about what it is it that makes somebody a good parent? You know, it has to do with constancy, it has to do with patience, it has to do with listening to him. It has to do with pretending to listen to him when you can't even listen anymore. It has to do with love, like, like, like she was saying. And I don't know where it's written that it says that a woman has a corner on that market, that, that a man has any less of those emotions than a woman does."

"Billy has a home with me. I've made it the best I could. It's not perfect. I'm not a perfect parent. Sometimes I don't have enough patience because I forget that he's a little kid. But I'm there. We get up in the morning and then we eat breakfast, and he talks to me and then we go to school. And at night, we have dinner together and we talk then and I read to him. And, and we built a life together and we love each other. If you destroy that, it may be irreparable. Joanna, don't do that, please. Don't do it twice to him."

"Dustin Hoffman – Ted Kramer"

"Meryl Streep – Joanna Kramer"

"Jane Alexander – Margaret Phelps"

"Justin Henry – Billy Kramer"

"Howard Duff – John Shaunessy"

"George Coe – Jim O'Connor"

"JoBeth Williams – Phyllis Bernard (as Jobeth Williams)"

"Bill Moor – Gressen"

"Howland Chamberlain – Judge Atkins"

"Jack Ramage – Spencer"

"Jess Osuna – Ackerman"

"It makes me feel tingly all over and then nothing... There should be bells ringing, dams busting, bombs going off."

"[on the telephone with Dr. Young.] You gotta help me. I'm in love with Linda. We want to get married... thank you. There's only one problem - she needs a nine inch cock. I'm only 3 inches away from true happiness, is there anything you can do? You can? Really? [turning to Linda Lovelace] No problem, honey. He can cut it off as short as you want!"

"[while receiving cunnilingus] Mind if I smoke, while you're eating?"

"Do you wanna get off or do you wanna wreck a city?"

"No wonder you can't hear any bells! You don't have a tinkler!"

"The End. And Deep Throat to you all."

"Virtually every time someone watches that movie, they're watching me being raped."

"It is a crime that movie is still showing; there was a gun to my head the entire time."

"It is all very well and good for Linda Lovelace, the star of the movie, to advocate sexual freedom; but the energy she brings to her role is less awesome than discouraging. If you have to work this hard at sexual freedom, maybe it isn't worth the effort."

"Lovelace is almost a Ripley’s Believe-It-Or-Not as she takes the whole joint down her gullet. No, it’s not a small-potato penis but a roustabout rod of ten inches that plummets into the deepest recesses of our lady’s oral cavity. It seems a miracle. … I was never so moved by any theatrical performance since stuttering through my own bar mitzvah."

"Forget about it," it's like, uh, if you agree with someone. You know, like, "Raquel Welch is one great piece of ass, forget about it." But then, if you disagree, like, "A Lincoln is better than a Cadillac? Forget about it!" You know? But then, it's also like, if something is the greatest thing in the world, like, "Minghia, those peppers! Forget about it!" But it's also like saying "go to hell," too. You know, like, uh, "Hey, Paulie, you got a one-inch pecker," and Paulie says, "Forget about it!"... Sometimes it just means, uh, "forget about it."

"If I come out alive, this guy, Lefty, ends up dead. That's the same thing as me putting the bullet in his head myself."

"All my life I've tried to be the good guy, the guy in the white fucking hat. And for what? For nothing. I'm not becoming like them; I am them."

"In all the five boroughs, I'm known, forget about it. I'm known all over the fuckin' world. Anybody, ask anybody about Lefty from Mulberry Street, eh? You pissin' up the wrong fuckin' tree, my friend."

"I never hear from my boss until he dies, then my whole life gets turned upside down!"

"In our thing, you get sent for, you go in alive, you come out dead, and it's your best friend that does it."

"How much money did you give that guy? A wiseguy never pays for his drinks."

"Who the fuck am I? Who am I? I'm a, a spoke on a wheel. And so was he, and so are you."

"And listen to me, if Donnie calls... , tell him... if it was gonna be anyone, I'm glad it was him. All right?"

"A wise guy's always right. Even when he's wrong, he's right."

"I'd die with you, Donnie."

"I got cancer of the prick."

"[talking to Donnie] When I introduce you, I'm gonna say, "This is a friend of mine." That means you're a connected guy. Now if I said instead, "This is a friend of ours," that would mean you're a made guy. A Capisce?"

"Anywhere you go, all around the world, all the best cooks are men."

"I wish I had that boat again, that Bertram. I'd get in my car with Annette, I'd drive down to the pier... I'd get on that boat, and I'd go. East, west, north, south, nobody ever finding me."

"C'mon Donnie. Help me fillet this fat fuck. [Lefty kills him]"

"The good news is, my dick is now a popsicle!"

"Donnie Brasco. Based On A True Story."

"In 1978, the US government waged a war against organized crime. One man was left behind the lines."

"Al Pacino - Benjamin 'Lefty' Ruggiero"

"Johnny Depp - Donnie Brasco/Joseph D. 'Joe' Pistone"

"Michael Madsen - Sonny Black"

"Bruno Kirby - Nicky"

"Robert Miano - Sonny Red"

"Ma'am, you were just the victim of a New York City mugger. As I suspected, he was a coward and a weakling, and also wore more cologne than any man should wear."

"Adam Sandler as Longfellow Deeds"

"Winona Ryder as Babe Bennett"

"John Turturro as Emilio Lopez"

"Allen Covert as Marty"

"Peter Gallagher as Chuck Cedar"

"Jared Harris as Mac McGrath"

"Erick Avari as Cecil Anderson"

"Rob Schneider as Nazo"

"Peter Dante as Murph"

"Conchata Ferrell as Jan"

"Harve Presnell as Preston Blake"

"Steve Buscemi as Crazy Eyes"

"Brandon Molale as Kevin Ward"

"Blake Clark as Buddy Ward"

"John McEnroe as himself"

"Radio Man as himself"

"Jennifer Tisdale as cardreader girl"

"I was taught that my prince would come and I would have his children... and on the weekends we would barbecue... and all the other princes and their princesses would come and they would say "delicious delicious..." Oh how boring ..."

"You wanna know who and what I am?... I'm a killer...."

"I kill with my cunt."

"Adrians dead, it's every man for himself."

"Whether or not I like someone doesn't depend on what kind of genitals they have."

"It's important to think. It's what separates us from lentils."

"I told you about these people. They're evil, Edwin. They must be stopped."

"You ever read any Nietzsche? Nietzsche says there's two kinds of people in the world: people who are destined for greatness like Walt Disney... and Hitler. Then there's the rest of us, he called us "the bungled and the botched." We get teased. We sometimes get close to greatness, but we never get there. We're the expendable masses. We get pushed in front of trains, take poison aspirin ... get gunned down in Dairy Queens."

"I wish there was some way I could just pay the fine and go home."

"Some billionaire's got the Holy Grail in his library on Fifth Avenue."

"I'm hearing horses! Parry will be so pleased!"

"I'm a knight on a special quest."

"There's three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer."

"It begins with the king as a boy, having to spend the night alone in the forest to prove his courage so he can become king. Now while he is spending the night alone he's visited by a sacred vision. Out of the fire appears the Holy Grail, symbol of God's divine grace. And a voice said to the boy, "You shall be keeper of the grail so that it may heal the hearts of men." But the boy was blinded by greater visions of a life filled with power and glory and beauty. And in this state of radical amazement he felt for a brief moment not like a boy, but invincible, like God, so he reached into the fire to take the grail, and the grail vanished, leaving him with his hand in the fire to be terribly wounded. Now as this boy grew older, his wound grew deeper. Until one day, life for him lost its reason. He had no faith in any man, not even himself. He couldn't love or feel loved. He was sick with experience. He began to die. One day a fool wandered into the castle and found the king alone. And being a fool, he was simple minded, he didn't see a king. He only saw a man alone and in pain. And he asked the king, "What ails you friend?" The king replied, "I'm thirsty. I need some water to cool my throat". So the fool took a cup from beside his bed, filled it with water and handed it to the king. As the king began to drink, he realized his wound was healed. He looked in his hands and there was the holy grail, that which he sought all of his life. And he turned to the fool and said with amazement, "How can you find that which my brightest and bravest could not?" And the fool replied, "I don't know. I only knew that you were thirsty." It's very beautiful, isn't it?"

"Jack, I may be going out on a limb here, but you don't seem like a happy camper."

"What were the crusades? The pope's publicity stunt?"

"[singing] Lydia, Oh Lydia. Say have you met Lydia? Lydia that Tattooed Lady!"

"See... guy goes to work every day, eight hours a day, seven days a week. Gets his nuts so tight in a vice that he starts questioning the very fabric of his existence. Then one day, 'bout quitting time, boss calls him into the office and says, "Hey Bob, whyncha come on in here and kiss my ass for me, will you?" Well, he says, "Hell with it. I don't care what happens, I just want to see the expression on his face as I jab this pair of scissors into his arm. [sighs] Then he thinks of me. He says, "Waitaminit. I got both my arms, I got both my legs. At least I'm not begging for a living. Sure enough, Bob's gonna put those scissors down and pucker right up. See, I'm what you call kind of a "moral traffic light", really. I'm like sayin', "Red! Go no further! Boooo-ee boooo-ee boooo-ee...""

"The film's about redemption, about healing wounds and how giving and getting are really pretty much the same thing. My character really gets the ultimate gift by his giving, not by his receiving."

"In The Fisher King, Williams was … at the height of his powers. He knew how to play a man dangerously in touch with unseen forces, a holy fool, and for once he played opposite actors who were, each in their own way, worthy of him: Jeff Bridges, Mercedes Ruehl, and, most memorably, Amanda Plummer, who should have partnered with him again."

"However funny it is, however outrageous it is, is based on pain, on a tragedy, on loss."

"Parry is a man with a previous life that was so damaged that he had to create another personality. ... It's like post-traumatic stress syndrome: Some people respond to traumatic or tragic events by withdrawal; some even create other personalities. Parry is a creation — somewhat Don Quixote, somewhat Groucho Marx — but he's a creation designed to avoid a past event."

"A Modern Day Tale About The Search For Love, Sanity, Ethel Merman And The Holy Grail."

"A good, old-fashioned story of guilt, poverty, love, madness and free video club membership."

"Some called him a hero. Some called him the most dangerous man in America"

"Jeff Bridges - Jack Lucas"

"Robin Williams - Parry"

"Mercedes Ruehl - Anne Napolitano"

"Amanda Plummer - Lydia"

"Michael Jeter - Homeless Cabaret Singer"

"David Hyde Pierce - Lou Rosen"

"Lara Harris - Sondra"

"Harry Shearer - Ben Starr"

"Kathy Najimy - Crazed Video Customer"

"Tom Waits - Disabled Veteran (Uncredited)"

"[Hearing Yankee fans boo and jeer him] I can always tell when I'm in New York."

"[writing on a baseball] Tell them I'm through, "for love of the game", Billy Chapel"

"[repeated line - his trick for concentration] Clear the mechanism."

"The game doesn't stink, Mr. Wheeler. It's a great game."

"[to himself, pitching to Sam Tuttle] Sam Tuttle. I can't think of a better reason not to be a Yankee."

"[consoling Mickey Hart after an embarrassing play in Fenway Park] There's a bunch of cameras out there right now waiting to make a joke of this, Mick. So you can either stop, give them the sound bite, do the dance. Or you can hold your head up and walk by, and the next time we're in Boston, we'll go out there and work the wall together. Don't help them make a joke out of you."

"God, I always said I would never bother You about baseball, always seemed silly. But if You could make this pain in my shoulder stop for ten minutes..."

"[while helping a traded teammate, Davis Birch, move] I ain't carryin' no books. Where's the pillows?"

"At 40 years old Billy Chapel is flirting with perhaps the greatest accomplishment in baseball and standing his way is Matt Crane hitting for Babe Nardini. Then Jesus Cabrillo and Ken Strout has a bat in his hands in the dug out and might very well get the call to bat for Jaimie Ruiz. And, you know, Steve, you get he feeling that Billy Chapel... isn't pitching against left-handers. He isn't pitching against pinch hitters.... He isn't pitching against the Yankees. He's pitching against time."

"The cathedral that is Yankee Stadium belongs to a Chapel."

"As so often happens in a ball game, there are so many other under currents, so much more that meets the eye… the owner of the beleaguered franchise selling their star player, and all the while, Billy Chapel had to make the biggest decision of his life…""

"You know, a lot of little bottles makes a big bottle, Chapy"

"The boys are all here for ya, we'll back you up, we'll be there, cause, Billy, we don't stink right now. We're the best team in baseball, right now, right this minute, because of you. You're the reason. We're not gonna screw that up, we're gonna be awesome for you right now. Just throw."

"“You’ve done it all; you’ve won every award there is to win. You’ve got a room a room reserved in Cooperstown. I don’t know how much more you have to prove. Even if you make it back, you won’t be 100%, you won’t even be 50… ”"

"Kevin Costner - Billy Chapel"

"Kelly Preston - Jane Aubrey"

"John C. Reilly - Gus Sinski"

"Jena Malone - Heather Aubrey"

"Vin Scully - himself"

"Steve Lyons - himself"

"Brian Cox - Gary Wheeler"

"J.K. Simmons - Frank Perry"

"Michael Papajohn - Sam Tuttle"

"William Newman - Fitch"

"Bob Sheppard - himself"

"Daniel Dae Kim - E.R. Doctor"

"My argument is not with you."

"Someone started all this. And I'm gonna find them."

"I've tried to apologize for what I've done. For what I am. None of it makes it any better."

"This is where it started for me. This is where it ends."

"I remember. I remember everything."

"Look at us. Look at what they make you give."

"I wanna know what he's gonna think before he does, every dirty little secret he has."

"Where the hell is he, people?"

"Jesus Christ. That's Jason Bourne..."

"You know as well as I do decisions made in real time are never perfect. Don't second-guess an operation from an armchair."

"Issue a standing kill order on Jason Bourne, effective immediately."

"This is a Code 10 Abort. I want everyone back in their vehicles, this is a Code 10 Abort!"

"Listen, people - do you have any idea who you're dealing with? This is Jason Bourne. You are nine hours behind the toughest target you have ever tracked. Now I want everyone to sit down, strap in, and turn on all you've got. (No one moves.) That would mean now!"

"The guy you're after is a CIA operative with a clearance above Top Secret, he's committing treason by talking to Ross. You really think that, while doing that, he's gonna use a cell phone that he knows we can track?"

"[to Noah Vosen] You better get yourself a good lawyer."

"A republic lives on the knife's edge."

"You can't outrun what you did, Jason. You made yourself into who you are. Eventually you're gonna have to face the fact you chose right here to become Jason Bourne."

"You came to us. You volunteered. You said you'd do anything it takes to save American lives. You're not a liar, are you? Or... too weak to see this through? This is it. Let go of David Webb. Really give yourself to this program..."

"You're no longer David Webb. From now on, you'll be known as Jason Bourne. Welcome to the program."

"Ezra Kramer: My number one rule is "Hope for the best, plan for the worst." Far as I'm concerned, Bourne is still a serious threat until proven otherwise."

"Newsreader: Meanwhile, mystery surrounds the fate of David Webb, also known as Jason Bourne, the source behind the exposure of the Blackbriar program. It had been reported that David was shot and fell from a Manhattan rooftop into the East River ten stories below. However, after a three-day search, Webb's body has yet to be found."

"Matt Damon - Jason Bourne"

"Julia Stiles - Nicky Parsons"

"- Noah Vosen"

"- Ezra Kramer"

"- Simon Ross"

"Albert Finney - Dr. Albert Hirsch"

"- Pam Landy"

"- Tom Cronin"

"- Martin Kreutz"

"- Neal Daniels"

"If everybody is nobody, then somebody could be anybody."

"Come on, Luce. We've got to do something with him, he's a sailor on leave! He needs a bar, a brawl, and a brothel!"

"JoJo: Music is the only thing that makes sense anymore... play it loud enough and it keeps the demons at bay."

"Sadie: Well, you seem pretty clean-cut, but then again you could've murdered your granny with a hammer"

"Dr. Robert: We're navigators, we're aviators, eatin' taters, masturbatin' alligators, bombardiers, we got no fears, won't shed no tears, we're pushin' the frontiers of transcendental perception."

"All you need is love."

"From director Julie Taymor comes the most original, exhilarating, spectacular, groundbreaking motion picture of the year."

"They lived without rules. They loved without fear. But as the world changed, so did they."

"Within the lyrics of the world's most famous songs, lives a story that has never been told. Until now."

"Evan Rachel Wood - Lucy Carrigan"

"Jim Sturgess - Jude Feeny"

"Joe Anderson - Maxwell "Max" Carrigan"

"Dana Fuchs - Sadie"

"Martin Luther McCoy - Jojo"

"T. V. Carpio - Prudence"

"Jacob Pitts - Desmond"

"Logan Marshall-Green - Paco"

"Bono - Dr. Robert"

"Eddie Izzard - Mr. Kite"

"Salma Hayek - Bang Bang Shoot Shoot nurse"

"Joe Cocker - Pimp / Mad Hippie / Bum"

"[To Rob, immediately prior to the monster's arrival] You gotta learn to say, 'Forget the world,' and hold on to the people you love most."

"Beth McIntire is from a whole 'nother planet, bro. I mean, she's beautiful, she's charming. As for you, I mean, I love you and all but let's face it; you're kind of a douche-bag."

"My name is Robert Hawkins. It's, uh, 6:42 AM, on Saturday May 23rd. Approximately seven hours ago, uh, some thing attacked the city. I don't know what it is. Um, if you found this tape, I mean if you're watching this, then you probably know more about it than I do. Uh, whatever this thing is, it killed my brother, uh, Jason Hawkins, it killed my best friend Hudson Platt and Marlena Diamond, and many many others. Um, we've taken shelter under this bridge. The military has begun bombing the creature, and we're caught in the middle."

"Maybe you should have left town a bit earlier, man."

"Rob, it is time to leave the electronics store."

"Beth lives in Midtown. All right? Midtown is that way. Guess what else is that way! Some horrific shit is in Midtown!"

"[repeated line] I'm documenting."

"[pointing the camera at himself as he prepares to cross a treacherous rooftop] If this is the last thing you see, that means I died."

"No one ever listens to me, now they are- we're all gonna die...."

"(with Marlena and Lily, trying to get Rob to stop) One of us is gonna have to tackle you and that's gonna be very uncomfortable for everyone involved!"

"Year after year, twenty-something women come to New York in search of the two "L"s: Labels & Love."

"Twenty years ago, I was one of them. Having got the knack for labels early...I concentrated on my search for Love."

"After years of living in the city I assumed that if my friends and I ever got our fairytale endings, that would be the end of the story. But real life always has a twist."

"Year after year, my single girlfriends were my salvation."

"Some labels are best left in the closet."

""Charlotte Poughkeepsied in her pants."

""When Big colors... he rarely stays inside the lines."

"I let the wedding get bigger than Big!"

""Let's go down to the hotel for dinner tonight, I need to get myself out of my Mexi-coma."

"Sweetie, you shit your pants this year. Maybe you're done."

"You brought me back to life."

"It wasn't logic, it was love."

"Ever mine. Ever Thine. Ever Ours."

"I put a bird on my head."

"We were perfectly happy before we decided to live happily ever after."

"And just like that, Vivienne Westwood kicked my sweet little suit's ass."

"Honey, you know me, I don't really believe in marriage; now Botox on the other hand, that works every time."

"I can't color enough, I would color all day every day If I had my way, I would use every crayon in my box."

"Just calling to make sure you aren't hanging from your shower rod."

"Oh honey, you made a little joke! Good for you."

"Hey dick-wad, I'm speaking."

"So here's to the groom, who finally got Carried away."

"Don't blame marriage, this one's married and she's not growing a national forest. Any thicker and you won't be able to find it."

"I feel the same way as you feel about Botox. Painful and unnecessary."

"This is my second most favorite thing I've found in there."

"Is a relationship saying his name fifty times more a day than my own?"

"You see? This is how it starts. Next thing you know, we're only having sex three or four times a week."

"I could be put on death row and not have that situation."

"And the rest don't know how to screw you, trust me I've done the leg work""

"[To Mr. Big] I curse the day you were born!"

"I always knew she'd marry Big."

"Nobody gets everything they want! Look at you, look at Miranda. You're good people and you two both got shafted. I'm so happy and... something bad is going to happen."

"Charlotte has pudding in her Prada."

"The only two choices for women; witch and sexy kitten."

"You two are crazy to get married. Marriage ruins everything."

"My marriage is going through a rough spot. I don't have time to wax!"

"Mommy's home."

"Roooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Sarah Jessica Parker – Carrie Bradshaw"

"Kim Cattrall – Samantha Jones"

"Kristin Davis – Charlotte York"

"Cynthia Nixon – Miranda Hobbes"

"Chris Noth – Mr. Big"

"Jennifer Hudson – Louise"

"David Eigenberg – Steve Brady"

"Evan Handler – Harry Goldenblatt"

"Jason Lewis – Jerry "Smith" Jerrod"

"Vanessa, you're a HOOTER'S girl?"

"Having a kid is great...As long as his eyes are closed, and he's not moving or speaking."

"I thought I had a mother lined up for him, but she's busy banging the Pepperidge Farm guy."

"The boy just won't quit peeing and throwing up. He's like a cocker spaniel!"

"[drops a can in a supermarket] Dented cans are half-price. Microsoft went down 3 points. We gotta save some money."

"Nature called. Look who answered."

"Once you adopt a kid, you've got to keep him."

"Adam Sandler as Sonny Koufax"

"Dylan and Cole Sprouse as Julian McGrath"

"Joey Lauren Adams as Layla Maloney"

"Jon Stewart as Kevin Gerrity"

"Leslie Mann as Corinne Maloney"

"Rob Schneider as Nazo"

"Steve Buscemi as Homeless Man"

"The name's Dangerously. Johnny Dangerously."

"I never should have picked a name like that. A name like that you gotta live up to."

"Diversification. Yes, sir. We're constantly exploring new and exciting areas of crime. And I tell ya somethin'. We better, because there a couple Japanese gangs out there that are going to do it faster and cheaper."

"And you know for you kids out there who are thinkin' about smokin', don't start. And if you started, stop. Smokin' don't make you look tough kids. It makes you look stupid. If you gotta put something in your mouth, make it a stick of chewing gum. Sure, thats what Johnny does. Smoking is the worst thing you can do to your body."

"I've fulfilled a lot of people's predictions about me. I've become a real scumbag."

"You shouldn't shoot me, Johnny. My grandmother shot me once... Once."

"You shouldn't hang me on a hook, Johnny. My father hung me on a hook once... Once."

"Dames are put on this earth to weaken us, drain our energy, laugh at us when they see us naked."

"I enjoy collecting protection money, putting whores to work, loan-sharking. I enjoy planting bombs in people's cars. These are a few of my favorite things."

"I know what you can't say. You wanna get laid. You wanna hump your brains out. Vavoom, vavoom, vavoom!"

"The Lower East Side. This really sucks."

"Bless the saints, it's an ashtray! I've been thinking of taking up smoking. This clinches it!"

"With a father like "Killer" Kelly, it's a wonder neither of you turned out to be a piece 'o shit criminal."

"I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes... like yourselves."

"You fargin sneaky bastage. I'm gonna take your dwork. I'm gonna nail it to the wall. I'm gonna crush your boils in a meat grinder. I'm gonna cut off your arms. I'm gonna shove 'em up your icehole. Dirty son-a-ma-batches!"

"Tommy Kelly: ...that Roman Troy Maronie was responsible for the Mother's Day Massacre, the Christmas Day Slaughter, the Lincoln's Birthday Mutilations, and the Groundhog's Day Beheadings!"

"Polly: You missed, fuckface!"

"Organized crime has never been so disorganized!"

"Michael Keaton - Johnny Kelly (a.k.a. Johnny Dangerously)"

"Joe Piscopo - Danny Vermin"

"Marilu Henner - Lil Sheridan"

"Maureen Stapleton - Ma Kelly"

"Peter Boyle - Jocko Dundee"

"Richard Dimitri - Roman Troy Moronie"

"Griffin Dunne - Tommy Kelly"

"Dom DeLuise - The Pope"

"Danny DeVito - Burr"

"Dick Butkus - Arthur"

"Alan Hale, Jr. - the Desk Sergeant"

"Glynnis O'Connor - Sally"

"Ron Carey - Pat"

"Ray Walston - Vendor"

"Neal Israel - Dr. Zilman"

"What's our job? We like drive around and pickup stiffs, or what? Is that what we are supposed to do?"

"Wanna know why I carry this tape recorder? To tape things. See, I'm an idea man, Chuck. I got ideas coming at me all day... I couldn't even fight 'em off if I wanted. Wait a second... hold the phone! Hold the phone! [speaking into tape recorder] Idea to eliminate garbage. Edible paper. You eat it, it's gone! You eat it, it's outta there! No more garbage!"

"So there I was at the Blackjack table with all my wash 'n' dries... did I tell you I had the idea for them first?"

"What if you mix...mayonnaise right in the can with the tuna fish? Hold it! Hold it! Wait a minute! Chuck! Take live tuna fish...and feed them mayonnaise. Oh this is good. [speaks into tape recorder] Call StarKist."

"We'll call ourselves Love Brokers."

"What are we really talking about here? Huh? What's the essence of what we're talking about? Spell it out for you if I have to. [writing on chalkboard] PROSTITUTION! Prostitution. Yeah, we can say it. We're big kids now, right? You know a lot of times it'll help you to understand a word if you break it down, so let’s do that now, shall we? PROS... it doesn't mean anything. Forget about that... TIT, I think we all know what that means. TU, kay two tit and TION, of course, from the Latin to shun... to say no, uh-uh, thank you anyway I don't want it, to push away... it doesn't even belong in this word really, so let's get rid of that."

"I wash my hands and my feet of you!"

"Chuck Lumley: [reads the forms that Leonard, the day shift guy left] Name of the deceased... something Polish?"

"Leonard: Oh, that Barney Rubble. What an actor."

"Ever since two enterprising young men turned the City Morgue into a swinging business, people have been dying to get in."

"It makes the day seem dead."

"Together they are going to make the day pay off... all night long!"

"The oldest profession in a new-look comedy."

"Henry Winkler - Chuck Lumley"

"Michael Keaton - Bill Blazejowski"

"Shelley Long - Belinda Keaton"

"Gina Hecht - Charlotte Koogle"

"[to a New York driver] Get on the right side of the road, you pelican!"

"No wonder you have so many accidents around here, the steering wheel's on the wrong side of the car!"

"[sings in the bathtub] If I give my heart to you... [pause] then I'll have none and you'll have two."

"[singing] Up North in the Never Never / Where the land is harsh and bare / Lives a mighty hunter named Mick Dundee / Who can dance like Fred Astaire!"

"Well, you see, Aborigines don't own the land. They belong to it. It's like their mother. See those rocks? Been standing there for 600 million years. Still be there when you and I are gone. So arguing over who owns them is like two fleas arguing over who owns the dog they live on."

"It's for washing your backside! right?"

"[honks horn and yells to water buffalo] "Get out of the way dopey!""

"From the Australian Outback to New York City, Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee is about to survive in a different kind of Jungle."

"He's survived the most hostile and primitive land known to man. Now all he's got to do is make it through a week in New York."

"There's a little of him in all of us."

"The Wizard of Auz hits The Big Apple!"

"From the Outback of Australia to urban jungle of New York, there's no wilderness he can't tame!"

"Born and raised in the most primitive and hostile territory on Earth, Michael J. Dundee has raised survival to an art form. Now he's about to test himself in a region half as primitive, but twice as hostile: Manhattan Island."

"He came from Down Under...to turn the Big Apple upside down!"

"Paul Hogan - Michael J. 'Crocodile' Dundee"

"Linda Kozlowski - Sue Charlton"

"John Meillon - Walter Reilly"

"David Gulpilil - Neville Bell"

"Steve Rackman - Donk"

"Gerry Skilton - Nugget"

"Terry Gill - Duffy"

"Peter Turnbull - Trevor"

"Christine Totos - Rosita"

"Graham 'Grace' Walker - Angelo"

"Mark Blum - Richard Mason"

"Michael Lombard -Sam Charlton"

"Caitlin Clarke - Simone"

"The important thing is the rhythm. Always have rhythm in your shaking. Now a Manhattan you shake to foxtrot time, a Bronx to two-step time, but a dry martini you always shake to waltz time."

"[Threatened by a man with a gun] Hey, would you mind putting that gun away? My wife doesn't care, but I'm a very timid fellow... All right, shoot. I mean, uh, what's on your mind?"

"The murderer is right in this room. Sitting at this table. You may serve the fish."

"Honey, it's that man again..."

"Waiter, will you serve the nuts? ... I mean, will you serve the guests the nuts?"

"The next person who says "Merry Christmas" to me, I'll kill 'em."

"Oh Nicky, I love you because you know such lovely people."

"[A detective searches the bedroom dresser] What's that man doing in my drawers?!"

"Marion: I don't like crooks. And if I did like 'em, I wouldn't like crooks that are stool pigeons. And if I did like crooks that are stool pigeons, I still wouldn't like you!"

"William Powell - Nick Charles"

"Myrna Loy - Nora Charles"

"Maureen O'Sullivan - Dorothy"

"Nat Pendleton - Lt. Guild"

"Minna Gombell - Mimi"

"Porter Hall - MacCaulay"

"[to Edie] You're the boss, applesauce!"

"I think I'll quit my painting and just make Edie a big star."

"I went to a party once and there was a palm reader there. And when she looked at my hand, she just froze. And I said to her "I know. My lifeline is broken. I know I won't live past thirty.""

"To me, New York was Jackson Pollock sipping vodka and dripping paint onto a raw canvas."

"Billy Quinn: Lady, you don't know shit about shit."

"When Andy met Edie, life imitated art."

"The Fame. The Spotlight. The Scandal. The Party's About To Begin."

"Sexy. Uncut. Unrated"

"Sienna Miller - Edie Sedgwick"

"Guy Pearce - Andy Warhol"

"Hayden Christensen - Musician"

"Jimmy Fallon - Chuck Wein"

"- Richie Berlin"

"- Syd Pepperman"

"- Fuzzy Sedgwick"

"- James Townsend"

"- Molly Spence"

"- Ingrid Superstar"

"- Mort Silvers"

"- Silver George"

"- Lou Reed"

"- John Cale"

"Michael Post - Taxi Driver"

"Tim Allen - Michael Cromwell"

"Martin Short - Richard Kempster"

"JoBeth Williams - Dr. Patricia Cromwell"

"Lolita Davidovich - Charlotte"

"Sam Huntington - Mimi-Siku"

"David Ogden Stiers - Alexei Jovanovic"

"Bob Dishy - George Langston"

"Valerie Mahaffey - Jan Kempster"

"Leelee Sobieski - Karen Kempster"

"Frankie J. Galasso - Andrew Kempster"

"Luis Avalos - Abe"

"Carole Shelley - Fiona"

"Dominic Keating - Ian"

"Rondi Reed - Sarah"

"Oni Faida Lampley - Madeleine"

"Forty-two percent of all liberals are queer, that's a fact. The Wallace people did a poll."

"[at the urinal] Hey, they got ice down there! I never pissed on ice before."

"The niggers, the niggers are gettin' all the money. Why work, tell me, why the fuck work, when you can screw, have babies, an' get paid for it?"

"It's colder than a witch's tit."

"What are you gonna do, kill me too?"

"I'm the "Joe" everybody's talking about."

"Keep America Beautiful"

"Dennis Patrick - Bill Compton"

"Audrey Caire - Joan Compton"

"Susan Sarandon - Melissa Compton"

"Peter Boyle - Joe Curran"

"K Callan - Mary Lou Curran"

"Marlene Warfield - Bellevue Nurse"

"Mess with the best, die like the rest. Hlo"

"Never send a boy to do a woman's job."

"Never fear, I is here."

"There is no right or wrong, just fun and boring."

"God wouldn't be up this late."

"You wanted to know who I am, Zero Cool? Well, let me explain the New World Order. Governments and corporations need people like you and me. We are Samurai... the Keyboard Cowboys... and all those other people out there who have no idea what's going on are the cattle... Moooo."

"Kid, don't threaten me. There are worse things than death, and uh, I can do all of them."

"FYI man, alright. You could sit at home, and do like absolutely nothing, and your name goes through like 17 computers a day. 1984? Yeah right, man. That's a typo. Orwell is here now. He's livin' large. We have no names, man. No names. We are nameless!"

"Look at that pooper. Spandex; it's a privilege, not a right!"

"Listen, we got a higher purpose here, alright? A wakeup call for the Nintendo Generation. We demand free access to data, well, it comes with some responsibility. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man I put away childish things. [Pause] What... It's Corinthians I, Chapter 13, verse 11, no duh. Come on."

"Yo.... I kinda feel like God!"

"Now I keep trying to save you from yourself, but you gotta stop letting your mama dress you, man! You're hopeless!"

"Never again pay for a service that would be free... if it weren't run by profiteering gluttons!"

"Remember, hacking is more than just a crime. It's a survival trait."

"Hack the Planet!"

"Boot Up or Shut Up!"

"Their crime is curiosity."

"You thought your secrets were safe. You were wrong."

"There is no right or wrong, only fun and boring"

"Mess with the best, die like the rest."

"Jonny Lee Miller - Dade Murphy (a.k.a. Crash Override a.k.a. Zero Cool)"

"Angelina Jolie - Kate Libby (a.k.a. Acid Burn)"

"Renoly Santiago - Ramόn Sánchez (a.k.a. The Phantom Phreak)"

"Matthew Lillard - Emmanuel Goldstein (a.k.a. Cereal Killer)"

"Laurence Mason - Paul Cook (a.k.a. Lord Nikon)"

"Jesse Bradford - Joey Pardella"

"Fisher Stevens - Eugene Belford (a.k.a. The Plague)"

"Lorraine Bracco - Margo Wallace"

"Alberta Watson - Lauren Murphy"

"Penn Jillette - Hal"

"Wendell Pierce - Special Agent Richard Gill, U.S. Secret Service"

"Marc Anthony - Special Agent Ray, U.S. Secret Service"

"Michael Gaston - Special Agent Bob, U.S. Secret Service"

"Felicity Huffman - Prosecuting Attorney"

"[on entering his newly rented apartment] All right, listen up. If there are any bugs in here, or rats, or anything that has more legs than I do, you just stay on your side of the room, okay? I'll stay on mine. I should warn you, I'm packing an iron."

"Please God, help me get out of this. I swear I'll go all over the world telling people not to screw the boss's wife."

"Michael J. Fox - Brantley Foster"

"Helen Slater - Christy Wills"

"Richard Jordan - Howard Prescott"

"Margaret Whitton - Vera Pemrose Prescott"

"John Pankow - Fred Melrose"

"Fred Gwynne - Donald Davenport"

"Gerry Bamman - Art Thomas"

"Carol Ann Susi - Jean"

"Drew Snyder - Burt Foster"

"Elizabeth Franz - Grace Foster"

"Christopher Murney - Barney Rattigan"

"Mercedes Ruehl - Sheila"

"Cindy Crawford - Herself (uncredited)"

"Millions of books written on every conceivable subject by all these great minds and in the end, none of them knows anything more about the big questions of life than I do ... I read Socrates. This guy knocked off little Greek boys. What the hell's he got to teach me? And Nietzsche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're gonna live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again. It's not worth it. And Freud, another great pessimist. I was in analysis for years and nothing happened. My poor analyst got so frustrated, the guy finally put in a salad bar. Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer."

"A week ago I bought a rifle, I went to the store - I bought a rifle! I was gonna, you know, if they told me I had a tumor, I was gonna kill myself. The only thing that might've stopped me - might've - is that my parents would be devastated. I would have to shoot them also, first. And then I have an aunt and uncle - you know - it would've been a blood bath."

"One day about a month ago, I really hit bottom. You know, I just felt that in a Godless universe, I didn't want to go on living. Now I happen to own this rifle, which I loaded, believe it or not, and pressed it to my forehead. And I remember thinking, at the time, I'm gonna kill myself. Then I thought, what if I'm wrong? What if there is a God? I mean, after all, nobody really knows that. But then I thought, no, you know, maybe is not good enough. I want certainty or nothing. And I remember very clearly, the clock was ticking, and I was sitting there frozen with the gun to my head, debating whether to shoot.[The gun fires accidentally, shattering a mirror] All of a sudden, the gun went off. I had been so tense my finger had squeezed the trigger inadvertently. But I was perspiring so much the gun had slid off my forehead and missed me. And suddenly neighbors were, were pounding on the door, and, and I don't know, the whole scene was just pandemonium. And, uh, you know, I-I-I ran to the door, I-I didn't know what to say. You know, I was-I was embarrassed and confused and my-my-my mind was r-r-racing a mile a minute. And I-I just knew one thing.I-I-I had to get out of that house, I had to just get out in the fresh air and-and clear my head. And I remember very clearly, I walked the streets. I walked and I walked. I-I didn't know what was going through my mind. It all seemed so violent and un-unreal to me. And I wandered for a long time on the Upper West Side, you know, and-and it must have been hours. You know, my-my feet hurt, my head was-was pounding, and-and I had to sit down. I went into a movie house. I-I didn't know what was playing or anything.I just, I just needed a moment to gather my thoughts and, and be logical and put the world back into rational perspective. And I went upstairs to the balcony, and I sat down, and, you know, the movie was a-a-a film that I'd seen many times in my life since I was a kid, and-and I always, uh, loved it. And, you know, I'm-I'm watching these people up on the screen and I started getting hooked on the film, you know. And I started to feel, how can you even think of killing yourself. I mean isn't it so stupid? I mean, l-look at all the people up there on the screen. You know, they're real funny, and-and what if the worst is true.What if there's no God, and you only go around once and that's it. Well, you know, don't you want to be part of the experience? You know, what the hell, it's-it's not all a drag. And I'm thinkin' to myself, geez, I should stop ruining my life - searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts. And, you know, after, who knows? I mean, you know, maybe there is something. Nobody really knows. I know, I know maybe is a very slim reed to hang your whole life on, but that's the best we have. And then, I started to sit back, and I actually began to enjoy myself."

"You missed a very dull TV show on Auschwitz. More gruesome film clips, and more puzzled intellectuals declaring their mystification over the systematic murder of millions. The reason they can never answer the question "How could it possibly happen?" is that it's the wrong question. Given what people are, the question is "Why doesn't it happen more often?" Of course it does, in subtler form."

"It's been ages since I sat in front of the TV, just changing channels to find something. You see the whole culture - Nazis, deodorant salesman, wrestlers, beauty contests, the talk show. Can you imagine the level of a mind that watches wrestling, hmm? But the worst are the fundamentalist preachers, third-rate con men, telling the poor suckers that watch them that they speak for Jesus and to please send in money. Money, money, money! If Jesus came back and saw what's going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up."

"[voiceover, about Lee] God, she's beautiful. She's got the prettiest eyes, and she looks so sexy in that sweater. I just want to be alone with her and hold her and kiss her and tell her how much I love her and take care of her. Stop it, you idiot. She's your wife's sister. But I can't help it! I'm consumed by her. It's been months now. I dream about her. I, I, I think about her at the office. Oh, Lee. [sighing] What am I gonna do? I hear myself mooning over you, and it's disgusting. Before, when she squeezed past me in the doorway, and I smelled that perfume on the back of her neck... Jesus, I, I thought I was gonna swoon! Easy. You're a dignified financial advisor. It doesn't look good for you to swoon."

"For all my education, accomplishments and so-called wisdom, I can't fathom my own heart."

"Mickey's Father: How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can opener works!"

"Barbara Hershey - Lee"

"Carrie Fisher - April Knox"

"Michael Caine - Elliot"

"Mia Farrow - Hannah"

"Dianne Wiest - Holly"

"Maureen O'Sullivan - Norma"

"Lloyd Nolan - Evan"

"Max von Sydow - Frederick"

"Woody Allen - Mickey"

"Lewis Black - Paul"

"Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Mary"

"Christian Clemenson - Larry"

"Julie Kavner - Gail"

"J.T. Walsh - Ed Smythe"

"John Turturro - Writer"

"Daniel Stern - Dusty"

"That's why I've been feeling so sad. That's why I keep thinking of them! I'm not a Stout, I'm a Little! I'm Stuart Little! I'M STUART... LITTLE!!!!"

"Hello, everyone."

"Now I know that fairy tales are real."

"Actually, I must be going."

"Hey, Smokey! His name is Snowbell!"

"Boy. [the Littles chattering] That's a lot of Littles."

"This is the happiest moment of my life. I feel 10 inches tall."

"Oh, I've got to stare at traffic, yawn, lick myself and believe me, that can take hours if you do it right. Ciao."

"Ah, the humiliation. [to Stuart] I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!"

"Tinkerbell! [laughs] He called me Tinkerbell You're a funny guy!"

"Explain that you should stuff your face."

"[from the top of the stairs] Fairy tales are real? Oy, I'm gonna cough up a furball."

"I'm sorry, it's meatloaf."

"A Pet? I am not your pet! I'm a cat, you're a mouse. You should be living in a hole. This is my family."

"How you doing? You must be Stuart."

"Say good night, Tinkerbell!"

"My mother was the reason you shouldn't go out into Central Park at night!"

"It's settled. Stuart Little gets scratched tonight."

"That's not funny. THAT'S SICK! A cat can't have a rodent as a master. I mean, what's this world coming to? IT'S AGAINST THE LAWS OF NATURE! Word of this gets out, it'll be bad for cats all over."

"[pleading] Pleeeeease?"

"A little further. Keep him coming. Keep him coming. I can almost reach him. Keep it coming. I got him. He's mine."

"Pretty Funny? I'm gonna wet my fur! A Mouse with a pet cat!"

"Hey, Snow! One of the guys spotted Stuart in the park. Smokey sent me to get you."

"[while Stuart is hugging Snowbell] Snow, what's he doing to your leg? I can't help but think this is wrong."

"Calm down, calm down. Don't get your fur in a bunch. All we need is a new plan."

"This is Stuart."

"Never! Or out you go, Mr. Snow."

"[to salesman] Something formal, I should think. I'm not sure of the fabric, but it should breathe. He has a tendency to burrow and climb and generally scurry about."

"He hates us."

"George, have you seen Stuart?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Stout, I'm afraid there's been a mistake."

"You don't have lucky underwear."

"We've never been hated before."

"Come on, George. You have a boat, a beautiful one."

"Attention, everybody. We'd like to introduce you to someone."

"Stuart is one of the family now. We do not eat family members."

"I guess I can always use a friend."

"That's no mouse, that's my brother."

"[to Anton] Yeah. You all done being a jerk?"

"Well, maybe we should get some, and then come back for another race."

"Smokey! Hey, Smokey!"

"Hey, it's me, Lucky. I just heard from the Brooklyn Cats. Bad news: the Stouts squealed."

"What's your hurry, Murray?"

"Did you see that? Damn. Nobody could've survived that. Right, boss?"

"Look. It's mouse on a stick. I love mouse on a stick."

"He's hogging the mouse. He ain't sharing."

"I'll be licking myself for days!"

"Yeah, where you going, Murray? Um, Stuart. What's his name?"

"Where is he? Did he fall in the water?"

"Don't go wrong way! He's going backwards! He's a hell of a driver!"

"Oh, no. You wanna do water, hire a spaniel."

"Dog paddle? I'd rather drown. And I had my fur just the way I like it."

"Taxi! What does a mouse have to do to get a cab in this city?"

"We're his parents."

"There's something you'll never be able to give him, because you're human. No offence!"

"Fairy tales are made-up stories, Stuart. This is real. This is about where you belong."

"I'm gonna miss that car."

"I'm gonna miss that boy."

"But I can learn. We're a family now. And there's a lot of adjustments we'll have to make."

"TELL HIM THE TRUTH!"

"Letting you go was the toughest choice we ever made."

"Your new bedroom, Stuart."

"Mr. and Mrs. Little, we try to discourage couples from adopting outside of their own...species. It rarely works out."

"It's out of the question and it's against the rules. Besides, It's very hard to track mouse families. They're not very good with paperwork."

"Three days ago? Stuart's parents died in a tragic cream-mushroom-soup incident years ago. I just told you."

"The Little family just for bigger."

"Michael J. Fox — Voice of Stuart Little"

"Geena Davis — Eleanor Little"

"Hugh Laurie — Frederick Little"

"Jonathan Lipnicki — George Little"

"Nathan Lane — Voice of Snowbell"

"Chazz Palminteri — Voice of Smokey"

"Steve Zahn — Voice of Monty"

"Jim Doughan — Voice of Lucky"

"David Alan Grier — Voice of Red"

"Bruno Kirby — Voice of Reginald Stout"

"Jennifer Tilly — Voice of Camille Stout"

"Stan Freberg — Voice of the Race Announcer"

"Jeffrey Jones — Crenshaw Little"

"Connie Ray — Tina Little"

"Allyce Beasley — Beatrice Little"

"Brian Doyle-Murray — Edgar Little"

"Estelle Getty — Estelle Little"

"Harold Gould — Spencer Little"

"Patrick O'Brien — Stretch Little"

"Julia Sweeney — Mrs. Keeper"

"Jon Polito — Detective Officer Sherman"

"Jim Doughan — Detective Officer Allen"

"Miles Marsico — Anton Gartman"

"Dabney Coleman — Dr. Beechwood"

"Taylor Negron — Clothing Salesman"

"Kimmy Robertson — Race Spectator"

"Any chance for getting time off for good behavior?"

"But that's what show business is all about. Acting like an idiot. It's not you, you're just doing your job. You know what I mean. Look at it this way, most people feel like idiots most of the time. But they don't get paid for it."

"Sunburst Cookies just light up my day!"

"[after vomiting in a hat] Never again. From now on, it's only Kosher Franks."

"[after seeing Angie for the first time] Va Va Va Vroom. Well, Hello Dolly!"

"How much of this crap do I have to eat anyway? What am I? Jobe?"

"Carol: Oh, I can't wait to get back to Connecticut."

"Michael J. Fox - Michael "Mikey" Chapman"

"Christina Vidal - Angie Vega"

"Cyndi Lauper - Geena Briganti"

"Nathan Lane - Ed Chapman"

"David Krumholtz - Barry Corman"

"David Huddleston - Mr. Corcoran"

"Victor Garber - Brian Spiro"

"Mary Alice - Mrs. Gordon"

"Kathryn Grody - Mrs. Corman"

"Paula Garcés - Janice"

"Blake McGrath - Acrobat"

"Rubén Blades - Angie's dad"

"Aida Turturro - Officer Moran"

"Christine Baranski - Carol"

"Kevin Zegers - Little Mikey"

"Mandy Patinkin - Irate Man"

"[after shaking hands with attorney Cedar] Even his hands are oily."

"What puzzles me is why people seem to get so much pleasure out of, out of hurting each other? Why don't they try liking each other once in a while?"

"People here are funny. They work so hard at living they forget how to live. Last night, after I left you, I was walking along and - and lookin' at the tall buildings, and I got to thinking about what Thoreau said. 'They created a lot of grand palaces here, but they forgot to create the noblemen to put in them.' I'd rather have Mandrake Falls."

"When the servant comes in, Mr. Hallor, I'm going to ask him to show you to the door. Many people don't know where it is."

"From what I can see, no matter what system of government we have, there will always be leaders and always be followers. It's like the road out in front of my house. It's on a steep hill. Every day I watch the cars climbing up. Some go lickety-split up that hill on high, some have to shift into second, and some sputter and shake and slip back to the bottom again. Same cars, same gasoline, yet some make it and some don't. And I say the fellas who can make the hill on high should stop once in a while and help those who can't. That's all I'm trying to do with this money. Help the fellas who can't make the hill on high. It's like I'm out in a big boat, and I see one fellow in a rowboat who's tired of rowing and wants a free ride, and another fellow who's drowning. Who would you expect me to rescue? Mr. Cedar - who's just tired of rowing and wants a free ride? Or those men out there who are drowning? Any ten year old child will give you the answer to that."

"[to Babe] You're wasting your time. He doesn't want any lawyers. He's sunk so low he doesn't want help from anybody. You can take a bow for that. As swell a guy as ever hit this town, and you crucified him for a couple of stinking headlines. You've done your bit. Stay out of his way."

"Mr. Deeds, there has been a great deal of damaging testimony against you. Your behavior, to say the least, has been most strange. But in the opinion of the court, you are not only sane, but you're the sanest man that ever walked into this courtroom!"

"Gary Cooper - Longfellow Deeds"

"Jean Arthur - Louise "Babe" Bennett/ Mary Dawson"

"George Bancroft - MacWade"

"Lionel Stander - Cornelius Cobb"

"Douglass Dumbrille - John Cedar"

"Raymond Walburn - Walter"

"H.B. Warner - Judge May"

"Ruth Donnelly - Mabel Dawson"

"Walter Catlett - Morrow"

"John Wray - Farmer"

"Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw"

"Kim Cattrall - Samantha Jones"

"Kristin Davis - Charlotte York Goldenblatt"

"Cynthia Nixon - Miranda Hobbes"

"Chris Noth - John James Preston / Mr. Big"

"John Corbett - Aidan Shaw"

"David Eigenberg - Steve Brady"

"Evan Handler - Harry Goldenblatt"

"Jason Lewis - Jerry "Smith" Jerrod"

"Willie Garson - Stanford Blatch"

"Mario Cantone - Anthony Marentino"

"Lynn Cohen - Magda"

"Alice Eve - Erin (Charlotte's Irish nanny)"

"Noah Mills - Nicky Marentino"

"Megan Boone - Allie"

"Max Ryan - Dr. Rikard Spirt"

"Raza Jaffrey - Gaurau"

"Viola Harris - Gloria Blatch"

"Omid Djalili - Mr. Safir, Hotel Manager"

"Dhaffer L'Abidine - Mahmud"

"Art Malik - Sheikh Khaled"

"Penélope Cruz - Carmen García Carrión"

"Liza Minnelli - herself"

"Miley Cyrus - herself"

"Tuesday Knight - herself"

"Tim Gunn - himself"

"They changed her diapers. She changed their lives."

"Peter, Michael and Jack know a thing or two about women. But when it comes to babies, they're all wet."

"Tom Selleck - Peter Mitchell"

"Steve Guttenberg - Michael Kellam"

"Ted Danson - Jack Holden"

"Margaret Colin - Rebecca"

"Celeste Holm - Mrs. Holden"

"Nancy Travis - Sylvia Bennington"

"Alexandra Amini - Patty"

"Francine Beers - Woman at Gift Shop"

"Lisa and Michelle Blair - Mary Bennington"

"Philip Bosco - Det. Sgt. Melkowitz"

"Barbara Budd - Actress"

"Michael Burgess - Man at Party"

"Claire Cellucci - Angelyne"

"Eugene Clark - Man #1 at Party"

"Derek de Lint - Jan Clopatz"

"Jacob Strackeljahn - Juan Pablo Jr."

"Jeff Kingsley - Dr. Octavius Agustus Steelex"

"Dave Foley - Grocery Store Clerk"

"Cynthia Harris - Mrs. Hathaway"

"Ben Affleck - Oliver "Ollie" Trinké"

"Liv Tyler - Maya"

"Raquel Castro - Gertie Trinké"

"George Carlin - Bart Trinké"

"Jennifer Lopez - Gertude Steiney"

"Stephen Root - Greenie"

"Mike Starr - Block"

"Jason Biggs - Arthur Brickman"

"Will Smith - Himself (uncredited)"

"Jason Lee - PR Exec. 1"

"Matt Damon - PR Exec. 2"

"Paulie Litt - Bryan (as Paulie Litowsky)"

"Harley Quinn Smith - Trace Colelli (uncredited)"

"I never met so many stupid people in one day."

"Shall we rob another empty armored car and start a collection?""

"Gang Leader: I don't know how old you is, but you ain't getting any older."

"Leon: [after being in the sewer for days, suddenly sees an exit] Daylight! This must be the way out."

"They're Out To Teach A New World Some Old Tricks."

"Friends for years. Legends for life. Tough guys forever."

"Burt Lancaster - Harry Doyle"

"Kirk Douglas - Archie Long"

"Charles Durning - Deke Yablonski"

"Alexis Smith - Belle"

"Dana Carvey - Richie Evans"

"Darlanne Fluegel - Skye"

"Eli Wallach - Leon B. Little"

"Monty Ash - Vince"

"Billy Barty - Philly"

"Simmy Bow - Schultz"

"Darlene Conley as Gladys Ripps"

"Nathan Davis - Jimmy Ellis"

"Grant Aleksander - Bartender at "Mickey's Bar," the gay bar"

"I thought that small talk was too small, I thought big talk was too pretentious, I thought music was noise, and I thought art was bullshit."

"Bobby: I've seen a lot of drunks in my day, but I never seen anyone as drunk as you and still be able to walk. You're fantastic."

"Gena Rowlands - Myrtle Gordon"

"Ben Gazzara - Manny Victor"

"Joan Blondell - Sarah Goode"

"Paul Stewart - David Samuels"

"Zohra Lampert - Dorothy Victor"

"John Cassavetes - Maurice Aarons"

"Laura Johnson - Nancy Stein"

"Lady Rowlands - Melva Drake"

"[to Barry Kane] Very pretty speech - youthful, passionate, idealistic. Need I remind you that you are the fugitive from justice, not I. I'm a prominent citizen, widely respected. You are an obscure workman wanted for committing an extremely unpopular crime. Now which of us do you think the police will believe?"

"You have all the makings of an outstanding boor."

"You're one of the ardent believers - a good American. Oh, there are millions like you. People who play along, without asking questions. I hate to use the word stupid, but it seems to be the only one that applies. The great masses, the moron millions. Well, there are a few of us unwilling to troop along... a few of us who are clever enough to see that there's much more to be done than just live small complacent lives, a few of us in America who desire a more profitable type of government. When you think about it, Mr. Kane, the competence of totalitarian nations is much higher than ours. They get things done."

"Power, yes... I want that as much as you want your job, or that girl. We all have different tastes as you can see, only I'm willing to back my tastes with the necessary force."

"[to Patricia as they dance at a party full of Nazi sympathizers] Right now, they're probably haggling over the price for us with Murder, Incorporated."

"Pat, this moment belongs to me. No matter what happens, they can never take it away from me. [another dancer cuts in and dances off with Pat]"

"[to Charles Tobin] Why is it that you sneer every time you refer to this country? You've done pretty well here. I don't get it."

"[Philip, a blind man, explains to Patricia why he believes Barry is innocent] Don't you know I can see a great deal farther than you can? I can see intangible things. For example, innocence."

"You'd like to say - IT CAN'T HAPPEN HERE!... but every jolting scene is TRUE!!"

"3000 miles of terror!"

"Priscilla Lane - Patricia 'Pat' Martin"

"Robert Cummings - Barry Kane"

"Otto Kruger - Charles Tobin"

"Alan Baxter - Mr. Freeman"

"Clem Bevans - Neilson"

"Norman Lloyd - Frank Fry"

"A Player Who's About To Be Played."

"Eddie Murphy - Marcus Graham"

"Robin Givens - Jacqueline Broyer"

"Halle Berry - Angela Lewis"

"David Alan Grier - Gerard Jackson"

"Martin Lawrence - Tyler Hawkins"

"Bebe Drake - Mrs. Jackson"

"Chris Rock - Bony T"

"Eartha Kitt - Lady Eloise"

"Geoffrey Holder - Nelson"

"Grace Jones - Helen Strangé"

"John Canada Terrell - Todd"

"John Witherspoon - Mr. Jackson"

"Kenny Blank - Kenny"

"Lela Rochon - Christie"

"Leonard Jackson - Lloyd the Chemist"

"Tisha Campbell-Martin - Yvonne"

"Mevlin Van Peebles - Editor"

"Daryl Mitchell - Street Photographer"

"Jonathan Hicks - Lady Eloise's Butler"

"They're up to something big."

"Eddie Murphy - Vernest "Quick" Brown"

"Richard Pryor - Sugar Ray"

"Redd Foxx - Bennie Wilson"

"Danny Aiello - Phil Cantone"

"Michael Lerner - Bugsy Calhoune"

"Della Reese - Vera"

"Berlinda Tolbert - Annie"

"Stan Shaw - Jack Jenkins"

"Jasmine Guy - Dominique La Rue"

"Vic Polizos - Richie Vento"

"Lela Rochon - Sunshine"

"David Marciano - Tony"

"Arsenio Hall - Reggie"

"Thomas Mikal Ford - Tommy Smalls"

"Charlie Murphy - Jimmy"

"Robin Harris - Romeo"

"Uncle Ray Murphy - Willie"

"Michael Buffer - Ring Announcer"

"Reynaldo Rey - Gambler"

"Don Familton - Referee"

"Ji-Tu Cumbuka - Daryl"

"All they wanted was a little getaway. All they got was nothing but trouble."

"Chevy Chase - Chris Thorne"

"Demi Moore - Diane Lightson"

"John Candy - Dennis Valkenheiser/Eldona"

"Dan Aykroyd - Judge Alvin 'J.P' Valkenheiser/Bobo"

"Taylor Negron - Fausto"

"Bertila Damas - Renalda"

"Valri Bromfield - Miss Purdah"

"Digital Underground - themselves"

"[Officer Keeney tells her she doesn't look good] Well, you don't look so hot yourself, Officer Keeney."

"[After Officer Keeney asked what she meant when she said, "There were three..." on the phone] Look, my husband and I just split up and it's my first night in a new house and I admit I was a little drunk. And the sentence, if you insist on knowing, was going to be, "There are three things that I'll do for you if you come jump into bed with me." Thank God I came to my senses before I said all that, and I hung up so nobody would ever have to know what I was thinking. Unless, of course, two policemen came in the middle of the night and interrogated me."

"[Hearing Meg clicking a striker in the panic room. To Raoul] Turn the gas off. Turn the gas off right now."

"This is what I do; if some idiot with a sledgehammer could break in do you really think I'd still have a job?"

"[After shooting Raoul dead. To Meg and Sarah] You're gonna be okay now. [Leaves]"

"[Meg smashes the video cameras with a sledgehammer] Why the hell didn't we do that?"

"[to Meg over P.A. system after having hand caught in the panic room door] You fucking bitch! You pull any shit like that again, I will fucking kill her! Do you hear me? If you step outside, I'll kill her! If I see a uniform inside this house, I'll cut her fucking throat! Do you understand?"

"It was supposed to be the safest room in the house."

"Jodie Foster - Meg Altman"

"Kristen Stewart - Sarah Altman"

"Forest Whitaker - Burnham"

"Jared Leto - Junior"

"Dwight Yoakam - Raoul"

"Patrick Bauchau - Stephen Altman"

"[on his and Tess's very short wedding ceremony] No one will ever believe we were married sober."

"Success is no fun unless you share it with someone."

"Women should be kept illiterate and clean, like canaries."

"The picture of the year!"

"Spencer Tracy - Sam Craig"

"Katharine Hepburn - Tess Harding"

"Fay Bainter - Ellen Whitcomb"

"Reginald Owen - Clayton"

"Minor Watson - William J. Harding"

"William Bendix - "Pinkie" Peters"

"Dan Tobin - Gerald Howe"

"Roscoe Karns - Phil Whittaker"

"Ludwig Stössel - Dr. Lubbeck"

"Sara Haden - Matron"

"Edith Evanson - Alma"

"[to his therapist] I was, uh, I was always very shy when it came to girls. I - I remember when I was a little boy, I - I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille, and I - I used to rub the dirty parts. And I, um, I guess I had a good relationship with my parents. I - I - I - they very rarely h- I think they hit me once, actually, in my whole childhood. They, uh, started beating me on the 23rd of December, 1942 and stopped beating me in the late spring of '44. Um, I don't know, I was a nervous child. I was a bed wetter. When I was younger, I, I, uh, used to sleep with an electric blanket, and I was constantly electrocuting myself."

"You cannot bash in the head of an American citizen without written permission from the State Department."

"Although the United States is, uh, a very rich country and San Marcos is a very poor one, there are a great many things we have to offer your country in return for aid. For instance, there, uh, there are locusts. Uh, we have more locusts than...uh, locusts of all races and creeds. These, these locusts, incidentally, are available at popular prices. And so, by the way, are most of the women of San Marcos...despite the tiny size of our nation, few people realize that we lead the world in hernias. They also fail to realize that before Columbus discovered your country, he stopped in San Marcos and contracted a disease which today can be cured with one shot of penicillin."

"We fell in love. I fell in love - she just stood there."

"Can you believe that? She says I'm not leader enough for her. Who was she looking for, Hitler?"

"Today's top stories: The United States government brings charges against Fielding Mellish as a subversive impostor, New York garbage men are striking for a better class of garbage, and the National Rifle Association declares death a good thing."

"Woody Allen - Fielding Mellish"

"Louise Lasser - Nancy"

"Carlos Montalban - Gen. Emilio M. Vargas"

"David Ortiz - Sanchez"

"Natividad Abascal - Yolanda"

"Dorothi Fox - J. Edgar Hoover"

"Dan Frazer - Priest"

"Howard Cosell - Himself"

"Don Dunphy - Himself"

"Roger Grimsby - Himself"

"[to house plant] Hello, my name is Elliot Moore. I'm just going to talk in a very positive manner, giving off good vibes. We're just here to use the bathroom, and we're just going to leave. I hope that's okay. [Elliot touches leaf] Plastic. I'm talking to a plastic plant. I'm still doing it."

"[Watching a news report about the airborn toxin, presumed to be the result of a terrorist attack] It makes you kill yourself. Just when you thought there couldn't be any more evil that can be invented."

"[To teachers, calling for a cancellation of school] Alright, there appears to be an event happening. Central Park was just hit by what seems to be a terrorist attack. They're not clear on the scale yet. It's some kind of airborne chemical toxin that's been released in and around the park. They said to watch for warning signs. The first stage is confused speech. The second stage is physical disorientation, loss of direction. The third stage... is fatal."

"Oh, cheese and crackers!"

"MY FIREARM IS MY FRIEND! IT WILL NOT LEAVE MY SIDE!"

"Mark Wahlberg - Elliot Moore"

"Zooey Deschanel - Alma Moore"

"John Leguizamo - Julian"

"Ashlyn Sanchez - Jess"

"Betty Buckley - Mrs. Jones"

"Spencer Breslin - Josh"

"Robert Bailey, Jr. - Jared"

"Frank Collison - The Nursery Owner"

"Victoria Clark - Nursery Owner's Wife"

"Brian O'Halloran - Jeep Driver"

"Alan Ruck - Principal"

"M. Night Shyamalan - Joey"

"Jack Angel - Lawnmower man"

"Jeremy Strong - Private Auster"

"That's just what I mean, Bernard can get the best marks in school, y'understand, but when he gets out in the business world, y'understand, you are going to be five times ahead of him. That's why I thank Almighty God you're both built like Adonises. Because the man who makes an appearance in the business world, the man who creates personal interest, is the man who gets ahead. Be liked and you will never want. You take me for instance, I never have to wait in line to see a buyer. 'Willy Loman is here!' That's all they have to know, and I go right through."

"Attention must finally be paid to such a man. He's not to be allowed to fall into his grave like an old dog."

"A salesman is somebody way up there in the blue, riding on a smile and a shoeshine..."

"Fredric March - Willy Loman"

"Mildred Dunnock - Linda Loman"

"Kevin McCarthy - Biff Loman"

"Cameron Mitchell - Happy Loman"

"Howard Smith - Charley"

"Royal Beal - Ben"

"Don Keefer - Bernard"

"Jesse White - Stanley"

"Claire Carleton - Miss Francis"

"David Alpert - Howard Wagner"

"When I finally get the chance, the first few precious minutes to talk to them about something I want them to understand, and I find that I am some kind of enemy... the butt of some enormous joke."

"If you deny what you know, or what you are, or where you are, you deny the simplest part of being alive, and then you die."

"Ever tried "punctuation sex", Henrietta? Hyphens are kisses, commas are maybes, and a period is a definite no. And then of course, there's the... limitless realms of semicolons and apostrophes. I shudder to think what an exclamation point might mean."

"They say a writer should stick to what he knows. What nonsense. What did Dickens know about the French Revolution? What did Shakespeare know about Moors in Venice? If he'd stuck to what he knew, we'd have no Othello. We'd have no Alice in Wonderland. We'd have no Treasure Island. You brats think that I and Miss Barrett stand up there day after day, talking about books, and the writing of books, just for the hell of it? You think it's got nothing to do with YOU?"

"A writer creates a book, an individual creates a life! For a writer to create a masterpiece, he's got to think beyond what he knows! For an individual to create a life, even a half-way decent one, he's gotta go beyond what he knows. Go beyond the poverty, the dope, the disease, the degeneracy. Go beyond the oceans to the Alps (he pointed to a map), a magnificent replica of which the Board of Education has generously donated. Stick with what you think, and that's what you're gonna be stuck with! You may as well get out. Now! All of you... Miss Barrett's class dismissed. All of you dismissed for the rest of your crummy lives. Some of you prefer to leave by the window. I prefer to leave by the door. Punch me out. Will ya, Teach?"

"[to Miss Barrett] I've just seen your type before, that's all. There's one every year. "Not living up to your potential," they say. Is that what you were going to say, teach? "Just wanna help you, Joe?" "Just wanna be your friend?" Then they get to feeling very sorry for your about your "environmental factors", and your "low socio-economic level". Till you've just have to tell 'em; "Get your nose outta my environmental factors, will ya? Keep your damn hands off my potential"... and then they turn you in."

"Simple words that could start a war."

"The first mistake this pretty young teacher made was to get off the bus. The second was to walk into Calvin Coolidge High School for the first time. The third was to fall in love with it."

"Up The Down Staircase, is the story of a girl who fell in love with a monster... (The Girl is Sylvia Barrett. Occupation: Brand new teacher)"

"Simple words that start a war: "Good morning. My name is Miss Barrett. I am your Home Room teacher...""

"Sandy Dennis - Sylvia Barrett"

"Patrick Bedford - Paul Barringer"

"Eileen Heckart - Henrietta Pastorfield"

"Ruth White - Beatrice Schachter"

"Jean Stapleton - Sadie Finch"

"Sorrell Booke - Dr. Bester"

"Roy Poole - Mr. McHabe"

"Florence Stanley - Ella Friedenberg"

"Vinnette Carroll - The Mother"

"Whats so wrong with that happy sensation That sense of utter elation What's so bad about feeling good? People sharing joy and goodwill…."

"In the evening the cares of the day were exchanged for the pleasures and relaxations of Broadway, then, when the day people went to bed, Greenwich Village came to life … Yes it was a typical night in the village too, but in the East Village, just a few blocks away, there was an entirely different class of people — real artists — writers, composers, who were making a true contribution to the new culture. We were the intellectuals, the elite. We weren't eccentrics like the others. We dressed comfortably and casually, and spoke the language as educated people do. Not the jargon of the immature rebels. We weren't searching for the truth, we'd found it. A couple of years ago, I was just like the rest of you conformists."

"Of course there were some who didn't change back. They clung to the illusion that life was good. It got to be a habit … but they were in the minority."

"I was once a sad optimistic Now only grim, realistic, Turning off to the games people play I find peace of mind in the theory That true existence is dreary Because life was meant to be blue, black and gray. All the time."

"The virus produces a sense of euphoria, a feeling of well-being. No symptoms but a sudden change in behavior patterns. Highly contagious. Avoid contact."

"Aida and I teamed up. We were "The Bubble Sisters" and every bubble Aida blew was filled with greetings from Amigo. [Singing]"

"The city was under attack by land, sea and air. Two days later you wouldn't have known the place. Over one million New Yorkers had joined the club."

"What's a woe with somebody caring, Dreaming, loving and sharing What's so bad about feeling good?"

"Since the problems of life are insoluble, one should withdraw into complete isolation and live a life of total non-involvement with other people."

"It's good for what Bugs you!!! (and what's so bad about that?)"

"George Peppard - Pete"

"Mary Tyler Moore - Liz"

"Don Stroud - Barney"

"Susan Saint James - Aida"

"Dom DeLuise - J. Gardner Monroe"

"Nathaniel Frey - Conrad"

"John McMartin - The Mayor"

"Charles Lane - Dr. Shapiro"

"Jeanne Arnold - Gertrude"

"George Furth - Murgatroyd"

"Morty Gunty - Sgt. Gunty"

"Joe Ponazecki - Officer Ponazecki"

"Frank Campanella - Capt. Wallace"

"Thelma Ritter - Mrs. Schwartz"

"Gillian Spencer - The Sack"

"John Travolta as James Ubriacco"

"Kirstie Alley as Mollie Ubriacco"

"Olympia Dukakis as Rosie Jensen"

"Elias Koteas as Stuart Jensen"

"Twink Caplan as Rona"

"Gilbert Gottfried as Joey"

"Bruce Willis as Mikey Ubriacco"

"Roseanne Barr as Julie Ubriacco"

"Damon Wayans as Eddie"

"Mel Brooks as Mr. Toilet Man"

"I'm not going to make excuses, I asked for this. All of it. And I did it to become someone else. And I wanted more."

"The American Dream our parents knew has been hijacked by men who were willing to lie, cheat and steal ... to protect their wealth."

"Someone is always listening, Jock. Always."

"One way to remember who you are is to remember who your heroes are."

"I like being across the bridge. Over here, it feels like home."

"You know what Picasso said? A good artist copies. A great artist steals. There's nothing original left in the world anymore. We're all stealing from someone."

"Everybody steals. Everybody lies. There's no right or wrong. Just winning and losing."

"Privacy. Absolute myth. There's no such thing."

"Shit happens. To everybody."

"You're nothing but a convenient tool, an empty vessel. I filled you with piss and vinegar and I told you it was champagne and you lapped it up."

"Power's the juice. Get used to drinking it."

"Liam Hemsworth - Adam Cassidy"

"Gary Oldman - Nicholas Wyatt"

"Amber Heard - Emma Jennings"

"Harrison Ford - Jock Goddard"

"Lucas Till - Kevin"

"Embeth Davidtz - Dr. Judith Bolton"

"Julian McMahon - Miles Meechum"

"Josh Holloway - Agent Gamble"

"Richard Dreyfuss - Frank Cassidy"

"Angela Sarafyan - Allison"

"William Peltz - Morgan"

"Kevin Kilner - Tom Lungren"

"Christine Marzano - Nora Summers"

"Charlie Hofheimer - Richard McAllister"

"If it was never new, and it never gets old, then it's a folk song."

"The show's bullshit. Four Micks and Grandma Moses."

"Oscar Isaac - Llewyn Davis"

"Carey Mulligan - Jean Berkey"

"John Goodman - Roland Turner"

"Garrett Hedlund - Johnny Five"

"Justin Timberlake - Jim Berkey"

"F. Murray Abraham - Bud Grossman"

"Stark Sands - Troy Nelson"

"Jeanine Serralles - Joy"

"Adam Driver - Al Cody"

"Ethan Phillips - Mitch Gorfein"

"Alex Karpovsky - Marty Green"

"Max Casella - Pappi Corsicato"

"Benjamin Pike - young Bob Dylan"

"I'll be there... around every corner... in every empty room... as inevitable as your guilty conscience."

"The Shadow knows."

"The day of the Mongol warrior is once again at hand. Soon, with wings outstretched, we fly to our destiny!"

"Farley Claymore: No one controls my mind, Shadow! There a new world order coming, and I’m going to be a king! A KING!"

"Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?"

"The Shadow Knows!"

"Alec Baldwin - Lamont Cranston/The Shadow"

"John Lone - Shiwan Khan"

"Penelope Ann Miller - Margo Lane"

"Peter Boyle - Moses "Moe" Shrevnitz"

"Ian McKellen - Reinhardt Lane"

"Tim Curry - Farley Claymore"

"Jonathan Winters - Wainwright Barth"

"Sab Shimono - Dr. Roy Tam"

"Andre Gregory - Burbank"

"James Hong - Li Peng"

"Joseph Maher - Isaac Newboldt"

"Max Wright - Berger"

"Ethan Phillips - Nelson"

"[Being presented by the shop assistant to Tom Brookman] You know, of course, that diamonds are a girl's best friends. This is our proof of it."

"Men aren't attentive to girls who wear glasses."

"[Referring to older men marrying young women] Look at Roosevelt, look at Churchill, look at that old fella, what's his name in The African Queen."

"We'd better put a check on that one. Nobody's mother lives in Atlantic City on Saturday."

"Most women use more brains picking a horse in the third at Belmont than they do picking a husband."

"[to Tom Brookman] Just as soon as I finish this, I never want to see you again."

"The first rule is, gentlemen callers have got to wear a necktie!"

"Once you get one foot on the ground, you're really quite a jerk, aren't you?"

"All my life ever since I was a little girl I've always had the same dream. To marry a zillionaire."

"Betty Grable - Loco Dempsey"

"Marilyn Monroe - Pola Debevoise"

"Lauren Bacall - Schatze Page"

"Anne Buydens - Laura Page"

"David Wayne - Freddie Denmark"

"Rory Calhoun - Eben"

"Cameron Mitchell - Tom Brookman"

"Alex D'Arcy - J. Stewart Merrill"

"Fred Clark - Waldo Brewster"

"William Powell - J.D. Hanley"

"We are all God's animated cartoons."

"I've been coming down here for 18 months. 18 months! And I have not missed a night. I take the money that my father sends me and I pay for a shrink, and I buy groceries. Now I owe my shrink, and I'm behind in my rent. My roommate's a bastard - he's changed the locks in in my front door - I can't get in! He won't give me a key until I pay him. You wanna play games? I can play games! I can play games. I can play ventriloquist with my underwear. I can play darts while maintaining an erection. I can gargle dishwater and fart O Canada at the same time! I can play piano without being popular. I once had this dream - I was dancing on the streetcorner with a jackhammer up my ass - now that was either a sex dream or I need more fiber in my diet. If any of this is turning you on, just let me know."

"If you're sending someone down, you better send him fast - 'cuz funny Steve's going under."

"Don't be scared, 'cuz I'm funny Steve... with a lampshade on his head. Singing and dancing, for your entertainment, his own rendition of "Singin' in the Rain"!"

"Oh okay, so I'm not funny, SHOOT ME!"

"Hello, my name is Lilah Krytsick, and on our wedding night, my husband gave me something very long and hard... a new name."

"Stand-Up Comic: [doing an impression of Ghandi's mother] Please, sweetheart... just a sandwich?"

"Albert Emperato: You don't want carpet! You want an area rug!"

"Dying is easy. Comedy is hard."

"It only hurts when you LAUGH!"

"Sally Field - Lilah Krytsick"

"Tom Hanks - Steven Gold"

"John Goodman - John Krytsick"

"Mark Rydell - Romeo"

"Kim Greist - Madeline Urie"

"Paul Mazursky - Arnold"

"Taylor Negron - Albert Emperato"

"Damon Wayans - Percy"

"Mac Robbins - Billy Lane"

"We've got a squeaker today, people. Neiman. 19 years old. Isn't he cute?"

"Barker, that is not your boyfriend's dick. Do not come early."

"It's all good, no worries, here we go."

"[playing an audio clip of a trumpet solo for the band] Six years ago, I came across a kid in a practice room working on his scales. He was early second year and he'd started at Shaffer with a lot of hope. Like all you guys. But the truth was, he barely squeaked in to begin with, and, uh... he was really struggling. The faculty were all telling him, "Maybe this isn't for you." But they didn't see what I saw. This scared, skinny kid, cursing himself because he couldn't get his scales right. I saw a drive in him. And I put him in Studio Band. And when he graduated, Marsalis made him third trumpet at Lincoln Center. A year later, he was first. And that's who you're listening to now. His name was Sean Casey. I found out this morning that... Sean... died yesterday... in a car accident. And, uh, I just... I wanted you guys to know he was a beautiful player. I just thought you should know."

"And here comes Mister Gay Pride of the Upper West Side himself. Unfortunately, this is not a Bette Midler concert, we will not be serving Cosmopolitans and Baked Alaska, so just play faster than you give fucking hand jobs, will you please? One, two, one, two. [Carl starts drumming, Fletcher stops him] Not even fucking close. [to Ryan] Let's go, with the Irish Mick-fucking-Paddy cracker now. You know, you actually do look quite a bit like a leprechaun. I think I'm gonna start calling you Flannery."

"[after Andrew stops drumming] Is that really the fastest you can play, you worthless Hymie fuck? No wonder mommy ran out on you. Get off the fucking kit."

"Either you're deliberately out of tune and sabotaging my band, or you don't know you're out of tune, which, I'm afraid, is even worse."

"Neiman, you earned the part. Alternates, will you clean the blood off my drum set?"

"[Repeated line] Not quite my tempo."

"Listen up, cocksuckers! Hurry the fuck up. Get your music. "Irene" only. Set one. Rhythm section out first. Tanner, the kit is a fucking tonal catastrophe, get it in tune, all right? Rhythm and soloists, bar 45, we're gonna pick up the tempo there, all right? Bar 106, brass, do not forget we sharp that ninth. Everybody remember, Lincoln Center and its ilk use these competitions to decide who they are interested in and who they are not. And I am not gonna have my reputation in that department tarnished by a bunch of fucking limp-dick, sour-note, flatter-than-their-girlfriends, flexible-tempo dipshits. Got it? One more thing. Eugene, give me that. [Eugene hands Fletcher his music folder] If I ever see another one of these lying around, I swear to fucking God, I will stop being so polite. [to a stagehand who just walked in] Get the fuck out of my sight before I demolish you. [to band] Stage right, in order, now. [to stagehand] I can still fucking see you, Mini-Me!"

"Sorry guys, hate to put you through this. If you need to fuckin' take a dump, or get a coffee, whatever - now might be a good time, because we're gonna stay here until I find a drummer who can fucking play in time. I apologize to the musicians. Seriously, take ten, twenty, a fucking hour. [to drummers] You hear me, cocksuckers? You better start shitting me perfect four-hundreds. Connolly, get your fucking ass back on the kit!"

"You think I'm fucking stupid? I know it was you."

"Miles Teller - Andrew Neiman"

"J. K. Simmons - Terence Fletcher"

"Paul Reiser - Jim Neiman"

"Melissa Benoist - Nicole"

"Austin Stowell - Ryan"

"Jayson Blair - Travis"

"Kavita Patil - Sophie"

"Michael Cohen - Stagehand Dunellen"

"Kofi Siriboe - Greg"

"Chris Mulkey - Uncle Frank"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute, you ain't heard nothin' yet! Wait a minute, I tell ya! You ain't heard nothin'! You wanna hear "Toot, Toot, Tootsie"? All right, hold on, hold on... [walks back to one of the band members] Lou, listen. Play "Toot, Toot, Tootsie", three chorus, you understand. In the third chorus, I whistle. Now give it to 'em hard and heavy, go right ahead."

"We in the show business have our religion too - on every day, the show must go on!"

"I came home with a heart full of love, but you don't want to understand. Some day you'll understand, the same as Mama does."

"My son was to stand at my side and sing tonight – but now I have no son."

"My son came to me in my dreams—he sang Kol Nidre so beautifully. If he would only sing like that tonight—surely he would be forgiven."

"[Listening to Jakie cantoring at Yom Kippur services after the death of his father] A jazz singer...singing to his God!"

"There are lots of jazz singers, but you have a tear in your voice."

"Here he belongs. If God wanted him in His house, He would have kept him there. He's not my boy anymore—he belongs to the whole world now."

"Do what is in your heart, Jakie—if you sing and God is not in your voice — your father will know."

"What a little boy learns - he never forgets."

"See him---and hear him sing!"

"Hear what you see - see what you hear."

"The supreme triumph the world has ever known in the Motion Picture Industry."

"Mammy's favorite son!"

"Al Jolson - Jakie Rabinowitz (Jack Robin)"

"Warner Oland - Cantor Rabinowitz"

"Eugenie Besserer - Sara Rabinowitz"

"May McAvoy - Mary Dale"

"Otto Lederer - Moisha Yudelson"

"Richard Tucker - Harry Lee"

"Yossele Rosenblatt - himself"

"Bobby Gordon - Jakie Rabinowitz (age 13)"

"I just know there's a hole in my life and I need to fill it… soon."

"I still have music in me, absolutely positive about that!"

"Back in action. Thank god!"

"This big, wonderful thing you've created: It's a dream, isn't it? ...And you're gonna give that up in the hopes that your husband will stop having an affair? I don't see how that adds up. You should feel nothing but great about what you've done, and I'd hate to see you let anyone take that away from you."

"The truth is… something about you makes me feel calm, or more centered, or something. And I could use that. Obviously."

"Robert De Niro as Ben Whittaker"

"Anne Hathaway as Jules Ostin"

"Rene Russo as Fiona"

"Anders Holm as Matt"

"Andrew Rannells as Cameron"

"Adam DeVine as Jason"

"Zack Pearlman as Davis"

"Jason Orley as Lewis"

"JoJo Kushner as Paige"

"Christina Scherer as Becky"

"Nat Wolff as Justin"

"Linda Lavin as Patty"

"Celia Weston as Doris"

"Steve Vinovich as Miles"

"C.J. Wilson as Mike"

"You see, Mrs. Walker, this is quite an opportunity for me. For the past 50 years or so I've been getting more and more worried about Christmas. Seems we're all so busy trying to beat the other fellow in making things go faster and look shinier and cost less that Christmas and I are sort of getting lost in the shuffle."

"Oh, Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind... and that's what's been changing. That's why I'm glad I'm here, maybe I can do something about it."

"Do you realize that there are thousands of children lining the streets? Children who have waited weeks just to see you? You are a disgrace to the tradition of Christmas! And I shall not allow you to malign me in public!"

"(To Sawyer)--"You have no more right to analyze Alfred than a dentist has to remove a gall bladder!""

"Susan, I speak French but that doesn't make me Joan of Arc!"

"Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to. Don't you see? It's not just Kris that's on trial, it's everything he stands for. It's kindness and joy and love and all the other intangibles."

"Look Doris, someday you're going to find that your way of facing this realistic world just doesn't work. And when you do, don't overlook those lovely intangibles. You'll discover those are the only things that are worthwhile."

"Mr. Shellhammer: But... but maybe he's only a little crazy like painters or composers or... or some of those men in Washington."

"Alfred, Macy janitor: Yeah, there's a lot of bad 'isms' floatin' around this world, but one of the worst is commercialism. Make a buck, make a buck. Even in Brooklyn it's the same - don't care what Christmas stands for, just make a buck, make a buck."

"Maureen O'Hara - Doris Walker"

"John Payne - Fred Gailey"

"Edmund Gwenn - Kris Kringle"

"Gene Lockhart - Judge Henry X. Harper"

"Natalie Wood - Susan Walker"

"Porter Hall - Granville Sawyer"

"William Frawley - Charlie Halloran"

"Jerome Cowan - Dist. Atty. Thomas Mara"

"Philip Tonge - Julian Shellhammer"

"[last line] I... I am... I... Oh, darn it, I've forgotten that second line!"

"Aah! Don't shoot, don't shoot! I don't even know your husband!"

"And he says to me, "Dearie, do you believe in love in a cottage?" "Sure!" Says I; "But the cottage must be in my name!" Ho ho! You imagine that guy?"

"Topsy dear, don't become anatomical."

"I…I never use soap. That is to say, I don't need any."

"Topsy dear, don't say ain't. And try not to be any more vulgar when you can help it."

"Nancy Welford - Jerry Lamar"

"Conway Tearle - Stephen Lee"

"Winnie Lightner - Mabel"

"Ann Pennington - Ann Collins"

"Lilyan Tashman - Eleanor"

"William Bakewell - Wally"

"Nick Lucas - Nick"

"She was prepared for anything until love stormed in."

"Kate always lived her life by the rules...some rules were meant to be broken"

"Jennifer Aniston - Kate Mosley"

"Jay Mohr - Nick"

"Kevin Bacon - Sam Mayfair"

"Olympia Dukakis - Rita Mosley"

"Illeana Douglas - Darcy O'Neil"

"Matthew Sussman - Darcy's Husband"

"Kevin Dunn - Mr. Mercer"

"Faith Prince - Mrs. Mercer"

"Anne Twomey - Sela"

"John Rothman - Jim Davenport"

"Meg Gibson - Mrs. Davenport"

"Paul Cassell - Brad"

"Ivar Brogger - 1st Ad Executive"

"Peter McRobbie - 2nd Ad Executive"

"Bray Poor - 3rd Ad Executive"

"Daryl Edwards - 4th Ad Executive"

"Jenna Stern - 5th Ad Executive"

"Bellina Logan - Agency Receptionist"

"Sean Patrick Thomas - Agency Researcher"

"Andrea Bendewald - Pregnant Friend"

"Marcia DeBonis - Rosie"

"Amelia Campbell - Susan"

"Faran Tahir - Sajit"

"David Cromwell - Minister"

"Jessica Cushman - Bride"

"Kaley Cuoco - Little Girl"

"Greg Grunberg - Date (uncredited)"

"Even the Sharknados are tougher in New York."

"I know you're scared. I'm scared too. They're sharks. They're scary. No one wants to get eaten. But I've been eaten. And I'm here to tell you it takes a lot more than to bring a good man down. A lot more than that to bring a New Yorker down. Let's go show them what it means to be a hero. Let's go show them what it means to be a New Yorker! Let's go kill some sharks!"

"Because we shot these two in such close proximity—unlike most theatrical tentpoles, where you have two years between them—it kind of feels like we were still making the first movie. Sure, we took it to a point in the last one where Ian [Ziering] gets swallowed by a shark and survives, but that allowed us to have even more fun going into the second movie. There are no more rules. We basically blew them up at the end of the last movie, and that allowed us to amp it up that much more. A big part of that is approval. Because all those elements went over so well in the first movie, everybody across the board was a little more willing to let us do more of that."

"Ian Ziering — Fin Shepard"

"Vivica A. Fox — Skye"

"Mark McGrath — Martin Brody"

"Kari Wuhrer — Ellen"

"Tara Reid — April Wexler"

"[to Jean] You may as well go to perdition in ermine. You're sure to come back in rags."

"The calla lilies are in bloom again. Such a strange flower, suitable to any occasion. I carried them on my wedding day, and now I place them here in memory of something that has died...Have you gathered here to mourn, or are you here to bring me comfort?... [She touches the ring on her finger given to her by Kaye] I've learned something about love that I never knew before. That I never knew before. You speak of love when it's too late. Help should come to people when they need it. Why are we always so helpful to each other when it's no longer any use?...This is my home. This is where I belong. Love was in this house once, and for me it will always be here, nowhere else...One should always listen closely when people say goodbye because sometimes they're, they're really saying farewell."

"I suppose that I should thank you on behalf of the company - and I know that I'm grateful to you for your applause. But I must tell you that I don't deserve it. I'm not responsible for what happened on this stage tonight. The person you should be applauding died a few hours ago. A young and brilliant actress who could no longer find a spot in the theater, and it was for her more than for anyone else that I was able to go on. And I hope that wherever she is, she knows and understands and forgives."

"The gaiety...glamour...foolishness and fun of showbusiness...played on the Great White Way"

"Brilliant In Cast And Story"

"Katharine Hepburn - Terry Randall"

"Ginger Rogers - Jean Maitland"

"Adolphe Menjou - Anthony Powell"

"Gail Patrick - Linda Shaw"

"Constance Collier - Anne Luther"

"Andrea Leeds - Kaye Hamilton"

"Samuel S. Hinds - Henry Sims"

"Lucille Ball - Judy Canfield"

"Franklin Pangborn - Harcourt"

"William Corson - Bill"

"Pierre Watkin - Richard Carmichael"

"Grady Sutton - "Butch""

"Frank Reicher - Stage Director"

"Jack Carson - Mr. Milbanks"

"Phyllis Kennedy - Hattie"

"Eve Arden - Eve"

"Ann Miller - Annie"

"Margaret Early - Mary Lou"

"A saint is not a moral exemplar. A saint is a life-giver."

"You haven't seen true evil."

"Eric Bana — Ralph Sarchie"

"Édgar Ramírez — Mendoza"

"Olivia Munn — Jen Sarchie"

"Sean Harris — Santino"

"Joel McHale — Butler"

"Chris Coy — Jimmy Tratner"

"Dorian Missick — Gordon"

"Rhona Fox — Zookeeper"

"Valentina Rendón — Claudia"

"Olivia Horton — Jane Crenna"

"Why didn't you tell me I was in love with you?"

"[Lovingly to Hannah] Do you know that scientists say that people fall in love quickest during a rainstorm? I can prove that. Because that's when I fell in love with you."

"The Happiest Musical Ever Made is Irving Berlin's Easter Parade"

"Full of melody! Full of young love!"

"Judy Garland — Hannah Brown"

"Fred Astaire — Don Hewes"

"Peter Lawford — Jonathan Harrow III"

"Ann Miller — Nadine Hale"

"Jules Munshin — François"

"Clinton Sundberg — Mike"

"That everything means nothing. You're fired."

"[to Mia] You rang?"

"Quvenzhané Wallis — Annie"

"Jamie Foxx — Mr. Stacks"

"Cameron Diaz — Hannigan"

"Rose Byrne — Grace"

"Bobby Cannavale — Guy"

"Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje — Nash"

"David Zayas — Lou"

"Zoe Colletti — Tessie"

"Nicolette Pierini — Mia"

"Eden Duncan-Smith — Isabella"

"Amanda Troya — Pepper"

"Dorian Missick — Annie's Fake Father"

"Tracie Thoms — Annie's Fake Mother"

"Mike Birbiglia — The Social Services Inspector"

"Stephanie Kurtzuba — Mrs. Kovacevic"

"Marti the Dog — Sandy"

"Michael J. Fox — Himself"

"Patricia Clarkson — Focus Group Woman"

"Bobby Moynihan — Guy in Bar"

"Sia — Animal Care and Control Volunteer"

"George Clooney — Himself"

"Katy Perry — Herself"

"Mila Kunis — Andrea Alvin"

"Ashton Kutcher — Simon Goodspeed"

"Rihanna — The Moon Goddess"

"Scarlett Benchley — Sakana"

"It's like... he once saw a sincere person and he's been imitating him ever since."

"I've learned along the way you can discover more by allowing yourself to be surprised by what you encounter."

"He's not evil. He's just young."

"It's like their apartment is full of everything we once threw out, but it looks so good the way they have it."

"Josh, you know the world isn't a giant conspiracy against you."

"You know, me and Jamie, always wondered how are we gonna get old? And the answer is... just like everyone else."

"Fletcher: Before you have a kid, everyone tells you, "It's the best thing you'll ever do." And as soon as you get the baby back from the hospital, those same people are like, "Don't worry, it gets better.""

"Ben Stiller - Josh Schrebnick"

"Naomi Watts - Cornelia Schrebnick"

"Adam Driver - Jamie Massey"

"Amanda Seyfried - Darby Massey"

"Charles Grodin - Leslie Breitbart"

"Brady Corbet - Kent Arlington"

"Ryan Serhant - Hedge Fund Dave"

"Maria Dizzia - Marina"

"Adam Horovitz - Fletcher"

"Peter Yarrow - Ira Mandelstam"

"Dree Hemingway - Tipper"

"Matthew Maher - Tim"

"It's that thing when you're with someone, and you love them and they know it, and they love you and you know it... but it's a party... and you're both talking to other people, and you're laughing and shining... and you look across the room and catch each other's eyes... but - but not because you're possessive, or it's precisely sexual... but because... that is your person in this life. And it's funny and sad, but only because this life will end, and it's this secret world that exists right there in public, unnoticed, that no one else knows about. It's sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us, but we don't have the ability to perceive them. That's - That's what I want out of a relationship. Or just life, I guess."

"Sometimes it's good to do what you're supposed to do when you're supposed to do it."

"I'm so embarrassed. I'm not a real person yet."

"Don't treat me like a three-hour brunch friend!"

"I'm too tall to marry."

"I like things that look like mistakes."

"We are like a lesbian couple that doesn't have sex anymore."

"The only people who can afford to be artists in New York are rich."

"It's just this apartment is very... aware of itself."

"I think it's a great day. I ate an egg bagel that Lev's slut made me. I internet-acquired three pairs of very rare Ray Bans. I'm doing awesome."

"Rachel: Fuck, I sound like a gay grandma."

"Greta Gerwig - Frances Halladay"

"Mickey Sumner - Sophie Levee"

"Charlotte d'Amboise - Colleen"

"Adam Driver - Lev Shapiro"

"Michael Esper - Dan"

"Grace Gummer - Rachel"

"Patrick Heusinger - Reade "Patch" Krause"

"Josh Hamilton - Andy"

"Maya Kazan - Caroline"

"Justine Lupe - Nessa"

"Britta Phillips - Nadia"

"Juliet Rylance - Janelle"

"Dean Wareham - Spencer"

"Michael Zegen - Benji"

"From now on, nothing goes down unless I'm involved. No blackjack no dope deals, no nothing. A nickel bag gets sold in the park, I want in. You guys got fat while everybody starved on the street. Now it's my turn."

"You think ambushing me in some nightclub's gonna stop what makes people take drugs? This country spends $100 billion a year on getting high, and it's not because of me. All that time I was wasting in jail, it just got worse. I'm not your problem. I'm just a businessman."

"Not everyone who runs a city is elected."

"Where "Scarface" left off... "King of New York" begins."

"The cops tried to stop Frank White their way. Now they'll have to do it his way."

"In the Big Apple, crime gets done on Frank White's terms...or else it doesn't get done at all."

"Christopher Walken - Frank White"

"Laurence Fishburne - Jimmy Jump"

"David Caruso - Dennis Gilley"

"Victor Argo - Roy Bishop"

"Janet Julian - Jennifer"

"Wesley Snipes - Thomas Flanigan"

"Steve Buscemi - Test Tube"

"Paul Calderón - Joey Dalesio"

"Giancarlo Esposito - Lance"

"Theresa Randle - Raye"

"Frank Adonis - Paul Calgari"

"Harold Perrineau - Subway Mugger"

"[to Alice] You're so beautiful. Like, sometimes you're so beautiful it just gags me. Maybe you're not real? Maybe you're a phantom or something? I-I keep expecting you to vanish."

"There's a tiny little engine in the green of this grass and in the green of the trees that has the mysterious gift of being able to take energy from the rays of the sun and store it up. You see that that's how the heat and power in coal and oil and wood is stored up. Well, we thought if we could find the secret of all those millions of little engines in this green stuff, we could, we could make big ones! And then we could take all the power we could ever need, right from the sun's rays."

"Boris Kolenkhov: I feel so good, life is running around inside of me like a squirrel!"

"Jean Arthur - Alice Sycamore"

"Lionel Barrymore - Grandpa Martin Vanderhof"

"James Stewart - Tony Kirby"

"Edward Arnold - Anthony P. Kirby"

"Mischa Auer - Potap Kolenkhov"

"Ann Miller - Essie Carmichael"

"Spring Byington - Penelope "Penny" Sycamore"

"Samuel S. Hinds - Paul Sycamore"

"Donald Meek - Poppins"

"H. B. Warner - Ramsey"

"Halliwell Hobbes - DePinna"

"Dub Taylor - Ed Carmichael"

"Mary Forbes - Meriam Kirby"

"Lillian Yarbo - Rheba"

"Eddie Anderson - Donald"

"Clarence Wilson - John Blakeley"

"Charles Lane - Wilbur G. Henderson, IRS agent"

"Christian Rub - Mr. Schmidt"

"Bodil Rosing - Mrs. Schmidt"

"[after first kiss with Candy] Sometimes you look for oil, you hit a gusher."

"I know you pinched me three times and got me convicted three times and made me a three time loser. And I know you took an oath to put me away for life. Well you're trying awful hard with all this patriotic eye-wash, but get this: I didn't grift that film and you can't prove I did! And if I said I did, you'd slap that fourth rap across my teeth no matter what promises you made!"

"So you're a Red, who cares? Your money's as good as anybody else's."

"[to Capt. Tiger] You're sittin' on a hot rock. I'd like to see you jump!"

"Listen, Mister. When I come in here tonight, you seen an old clock runnin' down. I'm tired. I'm through. Happens to everybody sometime. It'll happen to you too, someday. With me it's a little bit of everything. Backaches and headaches. I can't sleep nights. It's so hard to get up in the morning, and get dressed and walk the streets. Climb the stairs. I go right on doin' it! Well, what am I gonna do, knock it? I have to go on makin' a livin'... so I can die. But even a fancy funeral ain't worth waitin' fer if I gotta do bus'ness with crumbs like you."

"Ask a silly question, you get a dopey look."

"Capt. Dan Tiger: You'll always be a two-bit cannon. And when they pick you up in the gutter dead, you're hand'll be in a drunk's pocket."

"Richard Widmark - Skip McCoy"

"Jean Peters - Candy"

"Thelma Ritter - Moe Williams"

"Murvyn Vye - Captain Dan Tiger"

"Richard Kiley - Joey"

"Willis Bouchey - Zara"

"Milburn Stone - Winoki"

"Parley Baer - Headquarters Communist in Chair"

"George E. Stone - Willie - Police Desk Clerk"

"Stuart Randall - Detective"

"Harry E. Lang as Tom (uncredited)"

"William Hanna as Tom and Jerry's cheers (uncredited)"

"- Ned Freed"

"- Jeannie Freed"

"- Jonah Freed"

"Skyler Fortgang - Ethan Freed"

"- Ernie Freed"

"Lovely girl. Lovely singer. Handy with a knife, too."

"She is the screen is new golden-voiced darling!!"

"The All-Time Big-Time Musical!!"

"Warner Bros.' Love-Time Musical!"

"Warner Bros. All-Time Love-Time Musical Smash!!"

"It is Warner is All-Time, Big-Time Easter-Time Show!"

"Jack Carson - Doug Blake"

"Doris Day - Martha Gibson"

"Lee Bowman - Gary Mitchell (singing voice was dubbed by Hal Derwin)"

"Adolphe Menjou - Thomas Hutchins"

"Eve Arden - Vivian Martin"

"S. Z. Sakall - Felix Hofer"

"Selena Royle - Freda Hofer"

"Edgar Kennedy - Uncle Charlie (final film role)"

"Sheldon Leonard - Grimes"

"Franklin Pangborn - Sourpuss Manager"

"Ada Leonard - Herself"

"Frankie Carle - Himself"

"Iris Adrian - Peggy"

"Mel Blanc - Bugs Bunny & Tweety Bird (voice)"

"See, as the mainspring goes back and forth, the bishop keeps fucking her in the ass. It's a genuine antique and it keeps perfect time."

"And so there I am on the first day, on the set, and there's this guy fucking me from behind, right, and there's these two huge guys dressed like cops in my mouth at the same time and I remember thinking to myself, "I like acting. I wanna study.""

"I feel like I owe you a great fuck."

"There's a reason the horse is sixty to one though, y'know, he's probably got polio."

"I'm sure you're a state-of-the-art fellatrix."

"This guy's gonna put me in 27 separate Mason jars!"

"Adopt? What? I don't want to adopt. Not with my genes. I have award-winning genes."

"Woody Allen - Lennie Weinrib"

"Mira Sorvino - Linda Ash"

"Helena Bonham Carter - Amanda Weinrib"

"F. Murray Abraham - Greek Chorus leader"

"Michael Rapaport - Kevin"

"Olympia Dukakis - Jocasta"

"David Ogden Stiers - Laius"

"Jack Warden - Tiresias"

"Danielle Ferland - Cassandra"

"Peter Weller - Jerry Bender"

"Claire Bloom - Mrs. Sloan"

"The City's Rat Race Just Got Deadly."

"They're bold... They're breeding... They're hungry... Most of all... They have no fear."

"They are intelligent, thirsting for blood... and ready to attack!"

"Mädchen Amick as Susan Costello"

"Vincent Spano as Jack Carver"

"Shawn Michael Howard as Ty"

"Daveigh Chase as Amy Costello"

"David Wolos-Fonteno as Ray Jarrett"

"Sheila McCarthy as Miss Paige"

"Kim Poirier as Jay"

"Elisa Moolecherry as Nyla"

"Joe Pingue as Karl"

"That's not cute."

"[to Nat, hitting him with the leash] Why are you hitting yourself, huh? Why are you hitting yourself? That's not attractive for a zoo official."

"Could you pass the salt? I'll get it."

"When did I ever disappoint anybody?"

"Mr. Popper, Pippi. I've parleyed with The Tavern people, and persuaded them to ponder your proposal."

"Mr. Popper, phew! Punctuality is a priority for this particular person."

"Jim Carrey — Mr. Popper"

"Carla Gugino — Amanda"

"Madeline Carroll — Janie"

"Maxwell Perry Cotton — Bill"

"Angela Lansbury — Mrs. Van Gundy"

"Clark Gregg — Nat Jones"

"Desmin Borges — Daryl"

"Philip Baker Hall — Mr. Franklin"

"Dominic Chianese — Mr. Reader"

"Ophelia Lovibond — Pippi"

"Jeffrey Tambor — Mr. Gremmins"

"David Krumholtz — Kent"

"James Tupper — Rick"

"Penguin vocal effects by Frank Welker"

"[voice over] When I was young, I thought house painters painted houses. What did I know? I was a working guy, a business agent for Teamster Local 107 out of South Philly. [speaking] One of a thousand working stiffs, until I wasn't no more. And then I started painting houses myself."

"Nowadays, young people, they don't know who Jimmy Hoffa was. They don't have a clue. I mean, maybe they know that he disappeared or something, but that's about it. But back then, there wasn't nobody in this country who didn't know who Jimmy Hoffa was."

"[about his boss to be] I thought maybe he owned the gas station. 'Cause he owned something, you could tell. Yeah, it turns out he owned the whole road."

"[after a flashback in which Hoffa's body is secretly disposed of by incineration] It was no more complicated than that."

"You always charge a guy with a gun! With a knife, you run away."

"If I said it once, I said it a thousand times, I don't care they're Irish. I don't care they're Catholic. If there's one person you can't trust in this life, it's millionaires' kids."

"You don't keep a man waiting. The only time you do is when you want to say something. When you want to say fuck you."

"I am sitting in a room... full of fuckin' idiots. You dumb motherfuckers! You know what you did? You take Johnny O'Rourke's kid and you put him on as general organizer, pay thirty-six fucking grand, at the same time... you let him sell insurance to his fucking father's...[leans over the table shaking his head] To his fucking father's... to his fucking father's... LOCALS! [slams table] Damn it! How do you do that? How STUPID can you be? That fucking cocksucker Kennedy has got his nose up my ass everywhere I go! You don't know that they're hounding me? They're looking at everything I do, and you let this happen in public! You're giving it to him! [in a calmer tone] I'm going to jail. You understand? I'm going to prison... because of you. You dumb motherfuckers. This is what you wanted. You wanted to put me in jail. Tell me now so I can kill you... right here. [slams table again] Right here!"

"It's at a point where your gonna have to talk to him and tell him, "It's what it is". It's what they want. It's where it's gotten."

"If they can whack a President, they can whack a president of a union. You know it and I know it."

"Frank, I had to put you into this thing, or you would never let it happen, and I know you wouldn't. [pause] But it's gonna happen. Either way, he's going. [pause] I know how you feel, Frank. Trust me. I know how you feel. I told you before, we tried everything to help him, you know that. You tried. He brought this on himself. And it's landing on us. [pause] The only reason they agreed to this, is out of respect to me. But you and Reenie will be okay. Cuz you're with me. You're with me."

"Jimmy was a good man, you know? He had a nice family too, huh? I never wanted it to go that far. [pause] I picked us, over him. Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em."

"Mangia, che cresci. Figlio mio, mangia. - (Eat, so you'll grow. Eat, my son.)"

"Time Changes Nothing."

"His story changed history."

"Robert De Niro - Frank Sheeran"

"Al Pacino - Jimmy Hoffa"

"Joe Pesci - Russell Bufalino"

"Ray Romano - Bill Bufalino"

"Bobby Cannavale - Felix "Skinny Razor" Ditullio"

"Anna Paquin - Peggy Sheeran"

"Stephen Graham - Anthony "Tony Pro" Provenzano"

"Harvey Keitel - Angelo Bruno"

"Stephanie Kurtzuba - Irene Sheeran"

"Kathrine Narducci - Carrie Bufalino"

"Welker White - Josephine "Jo" Hoffa"

"Jesse Plemons - Chuckie O'Brien"

"Jack Huston - Robert F. Kennedy"

"Domenick Lombardozzi - Anthony "Fat Tony" Salerno"

"Paul Herman - Whispers DiTullio"

"Louis Cancelmi - Salvatore "Sally Bugs" Briguglio"

"Gary Basaraba - Frank "Fitz" Fitzsimmons"

"Marin Ireland - Dolores Sheeran"

"Sebastian Maniscalco - "Crazy" Joe Gallo"

"Aleksa Palladino - Mary Sheeran"

"Kevin O'Rourke - John McCullough"

"J. C. MacKenzie - James F. Neal"

"Larry Romano - Philip Testa"

"Joseph Bono - Frank Sindone"

"Craig Vincent - Edward "Ed" Partin"

"Louis Vanaria - David Ferrie"

"Jennifer Mudge - Maryanne Sheeran"

"Kate Arrington - Connie Sheeran"

"Garry Pastore - Albert Anastasia"

"John Scurti - Bertram B. Beveridge"

"Steve Witting - William Miller"

"Stephen Mailer - F. Emmett Fitzpatrick"

"Jeremy Luke - Marco Rossi"

"Steven Van Zandt - Jerry Vale"

"You're running around like a Puerto Rican on the fifteenth of the month!"

"[Ricky: You wanna bet me that I can't get a gun?] You couldn't even get a handjob from the bridge and tunnel posse at the club last night!"

"You must be the Red Dragon!"

"Yeah, that's my per diem, and who do I give it to?"

"You got an ash tray? How about an ash tray? Can I color me that?"

"A lot going on. But there always is, isn't there? A lot going on."

"[after a pottery clerk throws an ashtray on his table] There's a nice way to do that!"

"And I hope you know frogs aren't purple, you ever seen a purple frog? [Chole nods] Oh yeah? When? When you where asleep?"

"We don't wanna talk, we wanna scream at people, but we don't wanna listen or problem solve and that's what's frustrating about the fucking dynamic of the group!"

"What are you an odds maker? You're going to work everyone through this thing here? Let me tell you something, fucko, if that motherfucker right there don't take that knife away from my friend's neck, I'll use all six shots to make sure you're dead. Now do you believe it? Do you fucking believe it?"

"Jon Favreau as Bobby Ricigliano"

"Vince Vaughn as Ricky Slade"

"Peter Falk as Max Reuben"

"Famke Janssen as Jessica"

"P. Diddy as Ruiz"

"Faizon Love as Horrace"

"Vincent Pastore as Jimmy"

"David O'Hara as The Welshman"

"Makenzie Vega as Chloe"

"Jenteal as Wendy (as Reanna Rossi)"

"Sam Rockwell as Hotel Clerk (uncredited)"

"Oh, Reilly. You just loved the idea of your father. Now, your father was dirty. He was as dirty as they come. Nothing big, just penny-ante stuff. You know, free meals. A place to coop. For a while, he was a bag man for a pad in the South Bronx. The normal stuff. He took home $100, $150 a week. That's all. But hell, what a cop. Like me, he was the first through the door, the window, the skylight! I mean, he knew there were animals out there! He knew there was a line the niggers, the spics, the junkies, the faggots had to cross to get into people's throats. He was that line. I am that line. And the fucking judges and Jew lawyers, aldermen and guinea DAs are raking it in. We take a fucking hamburger and it's goodbye badge, gun and pension. And all the time, it's our lives that's on the line. It's our widows and our orphans! Now you're a rogue cop, you mick bastard! You went from our side to their side."

"You're the whitest black man I know, Chappie."

"You fuck with me, better you piss a kidney stone through your hard-on."

"[telling other cops about an arrest] I don't know what this guy's on, but he just sits there with a shit-eating grin on his face! So, fuck it. I figure I've got to straighten him out a little bit. So l say, "You've got a right to remain silent as long as you can stand the pain." There's nothing. Not a fucking dent. Not a fucking dent! I decide to fingerprint him in the back room, He pulls away from me, He's a big motherfucker. He's 6'3" or 6'4". He starts yelling, "You fucking harp, this! You fucking harp, that!" I say, "Mr. Calabrese, don't upset me now." I go to put his hand on the printer. He pulls his hand away he says, "You can't print me! I'm made!" He throws the fucking ink pad! And I'm standing there and I'm looking at my new light-blue jacket. I've got ink all over my fucking white shirt. He just ruined my fucking jacket. I'm seeing red. I'm pissed, right? I'm going to get that motherfucker! I grab him by the ass and the neck and very quietly I say "All right, you guinea, you bought it." I threw the fucker out the window! Threw him right out the window. He goes right through the wire mesh, out the window. Now remember, this guy's stoned so he thinks he's gonna die. He thinks he's on the second floor, and he goes... Shits his pants. He shit his pants. He wasn't hurt too badly. It was the ground floor. He had some cuts, that's about it. Now, we gotta go get the guy and he smells. We bring him in the back. I'm going to take him in. I take him back to print him and I make him put his hands down in his pants and he gets some of that shit on his fingers. I say, "Mr. Calabrese, we ain't got no more ink pads. You've got to use your own shit." No more out of Mr. fucking Calabrese! [All the other cops laugh]"

"[to Al Reilly, about Kevin Quinn] He's a prick. He's a racist and an anti-Semite and a prick. He wants to be Tom Dewey, and he will be. He married for politics and all he can see is way clear to God knows how high up. Years ago, when we still had executions in the state, he used to volunteer as a witness. Yeah, his first murder case, uhh he was a young A.D.A. then and I'm talking years ago... The case was shaky, circumstantial and he wanted a recommended death penalty from the jury. Before he was finished, he had them believing that poor black kid raped their mothers. He goes up to Sing-Sing for the electrocution. And the next day, we're sitting around, drinking coffee and he walks in with this grin on his face and someone says "Hey, how did it go?", he says, casually, "He fried!" and then he says, "I sure hope he was guilty!" and he laughs! Fuck him! Now and forever!"

"Nick Nolte - Lt. Mike Brennan"

"Timothy Hutton - ADA Aloysius Francis "Al" Reilly"

"Armand Assante - Roberto "Bobby Tex" Texador"

"Lee Richardson - Leo Bloomenfeld"

"Patrick O'Neal - Kevin Quinn"

"Jenny Lumet - Nancy Bosch"

"Charles S. Dutton - Detective Sam "Chappie" Chapman"

"Luis Guzman - Detective Luis Valentin"

"Paul Calderón - Roger Montalvo"

"Fyvush Finkel - Preston Pearlstein"

"Dominic Chianese - Pesch"

"Families are for people who can't take care of themselves."

"Zachary Levi and Asher Angel as Billy Batson / Shazam"

"Mark Strong as Dr. Thaddeus Sivana"

"Jack Dylan Grazer as Frederick "Freddie" Freeman"

"Djimon Hounsou as Shazam"

"Faithe Herman as Darla Dudley"

"Grace Fulton as Mary Bromfield"

"Ian Chen as Eugene Choi"

"Jovan Armand as Pedro Peña"

"Marta Milans as Rosa Vásquez"

"Cooper Andrews as Víctor Vásquez"

"John Glover as Mr. Sivana"

"Caroline Palmer as Marilyn Batson"

"Wayne Ward as Sid Sivana Balls"

"Miracles are closer than you think"

"Susan Sarandon — Rose Collins"

"Penélope Cruz — Nina Vasquez"

"Paul Walker — Michael "Mike" Riley"

"Alan Arkin — Artie Venizelos"

"Marcus Thomas — Jules"

"[after he spills coffee on his pants, Dylan is asking another employee for a replacement pair] I'm your boss! Give me your pants!"

"I'm emotionally unavailable."

"Are you trying to dig your way to China?"

"I have the perfect body for Photoshop. This [face] gets more angular, these [legs] get longer and this [nose] gets way more Christian."

"Everybody, this is Dylan. He's from L.A. [Everybody boos him] He's the reason I can afford all this beer! [Everybody cheers him]"

"I really have to stop buying into this bullshit Hollywood cliche of true love. [sees posters for "The Ugly Truth" on a wall] Shut up, Katherine Heigl, you stupid, little liar!"

"[repeated line] Still not gay?"

"A work ethic. I love it! That is why this country is still number one. Well, behind Germany and France and Belgium and Japan and China. Thank God for Bangladesh!"

"Taxi Driver: Welcome to New York! Go and fuck a dick!"

"Kayla: Maybe you should care a little bit less about work and a little bit more about the girl you're dating because last time I checked work doesn't reassure you that liking a finger up your ass doesn't make you gay."

"Friendship is a four-letter word."

"Some friends come with a happy ending."

"Justin Timberlake – Dylan Harper"

"Mila Kunis – Jamie Rellis"

"Patricia Clarkson – Lorna, Jamie's mother"

"Jenna Elfman – Annie, Dylan's sister"

"Bryan Greenberg – Parker"

"Nolan Gould – Sam"

"Nolan Gould – Mr. Harper"

"Woody Harrelson – Tommy Bollinger"

"Emma Stone – Kayla"

"Andy Samberg – Quincy"

"Shaun White – himself"

"[Iris: What does sueñito mean?] Sueñito? It means little dream."

"It's the story of a block that was disappearing. Once upon a time, in a faraway land called Nueva York, en un barrio called Washington Heights. Say it, so it doesn't disappear. [Kids: Washington Heights!]"

""El Sueñito." Pop's little dream."

"Abuela Claudia never had kids, so she adopted the whole block as her own. Adopted our sueñitos too."

"You hear that? The voices of the gods."

"It's creepy quiet. Usually, the One Train's up there, screeching."

"Usnavi, I'm the girl who paints nails. There's plenty like me, here, and over there."

"Maybe Stanford isn't a way out. Maybe it's a way back. Like Abuela always used to say, asserting our dignity in small ways."

"Let me just listen to my block."

"[sings] I'm making moves. I'm making deals. But guess what? [Usnavi: What?] You still ain't got no skills."

"Turn up the volume of your dreams."

"The time has come."

"Anthony Ramos – Usnavi de la Vega"

"Melissa Barrera – Vanessa Morales"

"Leslie Grace – Nina Rosario"

"Corey Hawkins – Benny"

"Olga Merediz – "Abuela" Claudia"

"Jimmy Smits – Kevin Rosario"

"Gregory Diaz IV – Sonny de la Vega"

"Daphne Ruba-Vega – Daniela"

"Stephanie Beatriz – Carla"

"Dascha Polanco – Cuca"

"Noah Catala – Graffiti Pete"

"Lin-Manuel Miranda – the piragüero"

"Mateo Gomez – Alejandro"

"Marc Anthony – Gapo de la Vega"

"Olivia Perez – Iris de la Vega"

"Christopher Jackson – the Mr. Softee Truck Driver"

"Michelle Pfeiffer as Frances Price"

"Lucas Hedges as Malcolm Price"

"Valerie Mahaffey as Mme. Reynard"

"Imogen Poots as Susan"

"Susan Coyne as Joan"

"Danielle Macdonald as Madeleine the medium"

"Isaach de Bankolé as Julius"

"Daniel Di Tomasso as Tom"

"Tracy Letts as Franklin Price (voice)"

"I hope that nobody has ever had to look at anybody they love through glass."

"There aren't enough hours in the day or judges on the bench to try all the cases brought against these men. The game has been rigged and the courts see it through. The trial is their right. But to bury you beneath the prison for forcin' the judge and the DA to do their jobs is the court's right, too."

"I don't want to sound foolish, but remember love is what brought you here. And if you've trusted love this far, don't panic now. Trust it all the way."

"That child that's coming, that's your grandchild. I don't understand you. It's your grandchild. What difference does it make how it gets here. The child ain't got nothin' to do with that. Ain't none of us got nothing to do with that!"

"This is a sacrament. And no, I ain't lost my mind. We are drinking to new life."

"'Unbow your head, sister."

"Adrienne, baby. Can I tell you something, sweetie? Ever since the first day I laid eyes on your very fine person, I got caught up in your Adam's apple. Oh, I've been dreaming about it. And I can't tell whether I want to tear it out with my fingers or my teeth. And if you touch my baby sister I'm going to have to make up my mind real quick."

"Levy: I'm just my mother's son. Sometimes that's all that makes the difference between us and them."

"Daniel Carty: Maybe I'd feel different if I had done something and got caught, but I ain't do nothing. They was playin' with me because they knew they could. And look, I'm lucky that I only got two years because... when you in there they can do with you whatever they want. You hear me? What... ever... they want."

"Joseph Rivers: I know some hustles, and you know some hustles. And these are our children. We gotta set them free. So let's drink on up, man, and let's go on in. We got a whole lot of shit to deal with in a hurry."

"Mrs. Hunt: I guess you call your lustful action love. I don't. I always knew you'd be the destruction of my son. The Bible says, "Put to death therefore all that is earthly in you. Sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, covetousness." That child was born of sin, and the Holy Ghost is gon' cause it to shrivel in your womb."

"Adrienne Hunt: And who do you funky niggas think you are?"

"Frank Hunt: I think you'll find it's still pumpin', but I wouldn't call it no heart."

"KiKi Layne - Clementine "Tish" Rivers"

"Stephan James - Alonzo "Fonny" Hunt"

"Regina King - Sharon Rivers"

"Teyonah Parris - Ernestine Rivers"

"Colman Domingo - Joseph Rivers"

"Brian Tyree Henry - Daniel Carty"

"Ed Skrein - Officer Bell"

"Emily Rios - Victoria Rogers"

"Michael Beach - Frank Hunt"

"Aunjanue Ellis - Alice Hunt"

"Ebony Obsidian and Dominique Thorne - Adrienne & Sheila Hunt"

"Finn Wittrock - Hayward"

"Diego Luna - Pedrocito"

"Pedro Pascal - Pietro Alvarez"

"Dave Franco - Levy"

"Marcia Jean Kurtz - a Jewish grocer"

"I feel like it dictated a certain direction my life took. That I just felt that it was this huge error in judgement that sort of marked me, and all my decisions. And I felt such shame that I let him do that. It was like he took my voice that day. Just when I was about to start finding it."

"What makes me most angry...is the silence...No one spoke out then and no one's talking about it now...he built the silence...And people complied...He produced fear and intimidation...The only alternative seemingly was to quit. And to throw away everything you had worked so hard for out of the door. You were terrified you'd be the next target. So people looked the other way."

"Based on actual events that helped ignite a movement."

"Carey Mulligan – Megan Twohey"

"Zoe Kazan – Jodi Kantor"

"Patricia Clarkson – Rebecca Corbett"

"Andre Braugher – Dean Baquet"

"Jennifer Ehle – Laura Madden"

"Samantha Morton – Zelda Perkins"

"Angela Yeoh – Rowena Chiu"

"Katherine Kendall – Miramax Executive"

"Peter Friedman – Lanny Davis"

"Anastasia Barzee – Lisa Bloom"

"Mike Houston – Harvey Weinstein"

"Do you know what my husband said about the news? He called it the first rough draft of history."

"Quality drives profitability."

"[to Robert McNamara] I'm here asking your advice, Bob, not your permission."

"When Phil died it was just - I was 45 years old and I had never held - I never had to hold a job in my life. But, I just, I loved the paper, you know. I do. I do so love the paper. I don't want it to be my fault. I don't want to be the one - I don't want to let Phil and my father and all of you kids and everybody down."

"This company has been in my life for longer than most of the people working there have been alive. So, I don't need the lecture on legacy."

"This is no longer my father's company. It's no longer my husband's company. It's my company."

"My decision stands, and I'm going to bed."

"He says we can't, I say we can. There, you're caught up."

"They'll be defending the first amendment. We'll tell them that the only way to protect the right to publish - is to publish."

"No matter what happens tomorrow, we are not a little local paper anymore."

"But Kay. Kay is in a position she never thought she'd be in, a position I'm sure plenty of people don't think she should have. When you're told time and time again that you're not good enough, that your opinion doesn't matter as much. When they don't just look past you, when, to them, you're not even there, when that's been your reality for so long, it's hard not to let yourself think it's true. So to make this decision, to risk her fortune and the company that's been her entire life, well, I think that's brave."

"I always wanted to be part of a small rebellion."

"Someone said this, at some point, about why we stayed when we knew we were losing. Ten percent was to help the South Vietnamese. Twenty percent was to hold back the Commies. Seventy percent was to avoid the humiliation of an American defeat. Seventy percent of those boys just to avoid being humiliated? That stuck with me."

"I was struck, in fact, by President Johnson's reaction to these revelations as close to treason. Because it reflected to me the sense that what was damaging to the reputation of a particular administration, a particular individual, was in itself treason. Which is very close to saying, "I am the State"."

"Meg Greenfield: ...from the majority opinion: 'In the First Amendment the Founding Fathers gave the free press the protection it must have to fulfill its essential role in our democracy. The press was to serve the governed, not the governors.'"

"Meryl Streep - Katharine "Kay" Graham"

"Tom Hanks - Ben Bradlee"

"Sarah Paulson - Antoinette "Tony" Pinchot Bradlee"

"Bob Odenkirk - Ben Bagdikian"

"Tracy Letts - Fritz Beebe"

"Bradley Whitford - Arthur Parsons"

"Bruce Greenwood - Robert McNamara"

"Carolyn McCormick - Mrs. McNamara"

"Matthew Rhys - Daniel Ellsberg"

"Alison Brie - Lally Graham"

"Carrie Coon - Meg Greenfield"

"Jesse Plemons - Roger Clark"

"David Cross - Howard Simons"

"Zach Woods - Anthony Essaye"

"Michael Stuhlbarg - A. M. Rosenthal"

"David Costabile - Art Buchwald"

"Pat Healy - Philip L. Geyelin"

"Rick Holmes - Murrey Marder"

"Philip Casnoff - Chalmers Roberts"

"Jessie Mueller - Judith Martin"

"Stark Sands - Donald E. Graham"

"Michael Cyril Creighton - Jake"

"James Riordan - Vice Admiral Joseph Francis Blouin"

"Kelly AuCoin - Assistant Attorney General Kevin Maroney"

"Cotter Smith - William Macomber"

"Jennifer Dundas - Liz Hylton"

"Justin Swain - Neil Sheehan"

"Yeah, I've been beaten up, but I'm not beaten. I'm not beaten, and I'm not quittin'."

"Say now, that wasn't true, what you said about teachers. Some of us do care, you know?"

"The sensational novel...now on the screen!"

"Is The Most Startling Picture Of The Year!"

"A shock story of today's high school hoodlums!"

"Glenn Ford - Richard Dadier"

"Anne Francis - Anne Dadier"

"Louis Calhern - Jim Murdock"

"Margaret Hayes - Lois Judby Hammond"

"John Hoyt - Mr. Warneke"

"Richard Kiley - Joshua Y. Edwards"

"Emile Meyer - Mr. Halloran"

"Basil Ruysdael - Professor A. R. Kraal"

"Warner Anderson - Dr. Bradley"

"Sidney Poitier - Gregory W. Miller"

"Vic Morrow - Artie West"

"Dan Terranova - Belazi"

"Rafael Campos - Pete V. Morales"

"Paul Mazursky - Emmanuel Stoker"

"Horace McMahon - Detective"

"Jamie Farr - Santini"

"Danny Dennis - De Lica"

"When someone really wants something, way inside, and they want it hard enough, they usually get it."

"Did you know that people sleep between 3:00 and 6:00 in the morning?"

"Glenn isn't my type. I guess I'm just too practical or unromantic or something. I want a man like Ed who's got a factory or a store or something solid. I certainly don't want a wandering nomad like Glenn Miller."

"What happened to that dream of yours? What about that sound?"

"I wish we could stick together, but, well, I've been eatin' for two years now. It's kinda gotten to be a habit. I don't think I can break it."

"Still got that crazy idea in your head, that sound?"

"Hey, Glenn! Come on back. Mr. Pollack wants to talk to you. He says your arrangement is a pip!"

"If you can get a style the kids like, it can go on for - years maybe. No matter who is in it. It keeps right on going."

"Louis Armstrong: Glenn, come here, Daddy. Beat out one like you did with Ben Pollack."

"It was a time that changed the world. And one man put it to music."

"Their love made such wonderful music!"

"James Stewart as Glenn Miller"

"June Allyson as Helen Burger Miller"

"Harry Morgan as Chummy MacGregor"

"Charles Drake as Don Haynes"

"George Tobias as Si Shribman"

"Barton MacLane as Gen. Henry H. Arnold, USAAF"

"Sig Ruman as W Kranz"

"Irving Bacon as Mr. Miller"

"James Bell as Mr. Burger"

"Kathleen Lockhart as Mrs. Miller"

"Marion Ross as Polly Haynes"

"Nino Tempo as Wilbur Schwartz"

"This city, this whole country, is a strip club. You've got people tossing the money, and people doing the dance."

"Start 'em off with a single, then a double, then a triple, then back to a double, and back to a single. You want 'em drunk enough to get their credit card then sober enough to sign the check."

"Doesn't money make you horny?"

"Hey. Remember what we were like back then? Remember? We were fucking hurricanes, weren't we?"

"Are you an investor in this place? Let the guys get fucked up."

"We're a family now. A family with money!"

"You either got to stand in the corner or get in the ring."

"Who gave her phone back ?"

"For a night of pleasure he can't even remember, What a Boob"

"Ramona, quit bringing home strays. We're breaking the law here. We don't wanna work with criminals."

"[Driving with an incapacitated nude client] We're not gonna kill him, are we?"

"Constance Wu as Destiny"

"Jennifer Lopez as Ramona"

"Julia Stiles as Elizabeth"

"Mette Narrative as Justice (as Mette Towley)"

"Wai Ching Ho as Destiny's Grandmother"

"Emma Batiz as 12-Year-Old Juliet"

"Vanessa Aspillaga as Manuela"

"Jay Oakerson as DJ (as Big Jay Oakerson)"

"Trace Lysette as Tracey"

"Marcy Richardson as Star"

"Keke Palmer as Mercedes"

"Mercedes Ruehl as Mother"

"Lili Reinhart as Annabelle"

"G-Eazy as Johnny (as Gerald Earl Gillum)"

"Cardi B as Diamond"

"Lizzo as Liz"

"Fuck the tour!"

"[To the Smile Entity] You're not in control, I am!"

"Stop smiling at me!"

"Naomi Scott as Skye Riley"

"Rosemarie DeWitt as Elizabeth Riley"

"Lukas Gage as Lewis"

"Miles Gutierrez-Riley as Joshua"

"Peter Jacobson as Morris"

"Ray Nicholson as Paul Hudson"

"Dylan Gelula as Gemma"

"Raúl Castillo as Darius"

"Kyle Gallner as Joel"

"Drew Barrymore as Drew Barrymore"

"Zebedee Row as Alexi"

"Roberts Jekabsons as Yev"

"Sean Stolzen as Maksim"

"Jon Rua as Anton"

"Vladimir Duthiers as Vladimir Duthiers"

"Kristine Johnson as Kristine Johnson"

"It's the last thing you'll see."

"It will never let go."

"If we get art on the two kids at the walk of shame, it's "Gotcha!"."

"Sometimes you can just smell a horrendously shitty day on the way, can't you?"

"Well, you're in management now. If everybody loved you, you'd be doing something wrong."

"[Reading in a dictionary] Deadline: A date or time before which something must be done."

"Don't ask marital advice from a guy with two ex-wives and a daughter who won't speak to me."

"The problem with being my age is everybody thinks you're a father figure but you're really just the same asshole you always were."

"Don't just take a position because it's the opposite of what she says! It's like watching a bunch of sixth graders, for Christ's sake!"

"A clipboard and a confident wave will get you into any building in the world!"

"What do you think I'm trying to do?. Look, I got news for you. I'm not locked up in the men's room with a cop because it's a good time. Frankly, I've had better times, okay? I'm here because I think the story is wrong. Is it? Is it? If you have something, give it to me now, but don't stand there and act coy and say "Fuck you", because, quite frankly, it's a waste of all of our time. And you know what? I don't have any more time. I have no more fucking time. I need it fucking today, I need it right now!"

"It's a Marx Brothers movie every time I step in my office."

"I can't stay. I have to put the paper to bed. But what do you say we all get together later and go have some dessert at that... place."

"Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me."

"[Martha wants to talk to Henry] I've got 64 seconds. What's wrong?"

"Alicia's going to have to kiss my ass on this one. Come on, baby! Right here, baby!"

"Don't take the bat out of my hand. It's the ninth inning."

"[Alicia has followed Graham into the men's restroom; she is met with awkward stares from the men] I'd love it if you weren't here."

"This is great! This is great! It writes like butter. I mean, there is actual butter coming out of my pen."

"[After firing a shot inside Henry's office] Let Marty talk to her husband. Please."

"You got an honest-to-God exclusive."

"[Vinnie eating a donut] Vinnie, can you bring your creamy friend along with you and join us?"

"You wanna cover Brooklyn, then cover Brooklyn! But let me tell you something, you can't cover Brooklyn from a barstool in Manhattan."

"We taint them today, we make them look good on Saturday. Everybody's happy."

"[After fighting with Bernie in the industrial printing press floor] You... are... so... fucking... fired!"

"One of our security guards actually tried to frisk me. We're having drinks later."

"Wear a tie for the interview. And promise me you won't torpedo it on purpose, okay?"

"[A very pregnant Martha struggles in the morning] Bladder control, you don't miss it until it's gone."

"Oh, come on! I dump a big, fat juicy steak in your lap, and you ask for sauce?"

"Big scoop from the TV guys. Pinhead's brother cancels trip."

"I've bought the goddamn chair! Now it's your problem, Henry!"

"[Before attacking McDougal] Get outta my way!"

"Because your whole world can change in 24 hours."

"Michael Keaton as Henry Hackett"

"Robert Duvall as Bernie White"

"Glenn Close as Alicia Clark"

"Marisa Tomei as Martha Hackett"

"Randy Quaid as Michael McDougal"

"Jason Robards as Graham Keighley"

"Jason Alexander as Marion Sandusky"

"Spalding Gray as Paul Bladden"

"Catherine O'Hara as Susan"

"Lynne Thigpen as Janet"

"Jack Kehoe as Phil"

"Roma Maffia as Carmen"

"A behind the lines look at work, marriage and other forms of combat..."

"There's a common belief among anthropologists that you must immerse yourself in an unfamiliar world in order to truly understand your own."

"You want to know about the dads? I'll tell you about the dads. They're chubby, bald, steak-eating, cigar-smoking, type-A pigs who get more turned on by the Bloomberg Wire than they do by any hot nannies. Actually, it's all of you in about 5 years. So take it from me, guys: Enjoy tonight, because your future looks pretty fucking bleak."

"My desire to be an observer of life was actually keeping me from having one."

"Child-rearing around the world boasts a wide variety of customs and mores. But perhaps the most bizarre social patterns can be found within the small island community of Manhattan... The inhabitants of the region known as the Upper East Side have the most prosperous, yet idiosyncratic social systems on the planet. After successfully mating and producing offspring, the men are often distant and uninvolved, leaving their women to hunt, gather and provide for their families. Yet the resourceful mothers of the Upper East Side have plenty of time to participate in a variety of sex-role specific activities. These include body mutilation, sacred meditation, even fasting rituals. Which brings us to our focus on child-rearing: Who actually does it? Well, in Africa, they have a saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." But for the tribe of the Upper East Side, it takes just one person: the Nanny."

"Scarlett Johansson as Annie "Nanny" Braddock"

"Laura Linney as Mrs. Alexandra X"

"Alicia Keys as Lynette"

"Chris Evans as Hayden "Harvard Hottie""

"Paul Giamatti as Mr. Stan X"

"Donna Murphy as Judy Braddock"

"Nicholas Reese Art as Grayer Addison X"

"Judith Roberts as Milicent"

"Julie White as Jane Gould"

"Nate Corddry as Calvin"

"Nina Garbiras as Miss Chicago"

"Brande Roderick as Tanya"

"Heather Simms as Murnel"

"Johnny Sims reached the age of twelve. He recited poetry, played piano and sang in a choir....so did Lincoln and Washington!"

"When John was twenty-one he became one of the seven million that believe New York depends on them."

"During the next five years two eventful things happened to the Simses. A baby sister was born....and John received an $8 raise."

"We do not know how big the crowd is, and what opposition it is....until we get out of step with it."

"Look at that crowd! The poor boobs....all in the same rut!"

"[laughing at a juggling clown] The poor sap! And I bet his father thought he would be President!"

"[singing to the ukelele] Wife and I are happy And everything is swell; It's heavenly inside our flat But outside it is El!"

"Take it from me, marriage isn't a word....it's a sentence!"

"Stranger: [on the NYC ferry] You've gotta be good in that town if you want to beat the crowd."

"Flapper: [to John] Oh, Gee, Baby! How did the angels ever let you leave Heaven?"

"When Life Beats You Down to Your Knees -See How to Fight Back and WIN!"

"The Story of You and I, the man next door, told with a sweep of drama Magnificent and Amazing."

"A powerful drama of modern marriage- a marriage that goes smash, and how it is saved. See yourself in "THE CROWD.""

"Eleanor Boardman - Mary Sims"

"James Murray - John Sims"

"Bert Roach - Bert"

"Estelle Clark - Jane"

"Daniel G. Tomlinson - Jim"

"Dell Henderson - Dick"

"Lucy Beaumont - Mary's mother"

"Freddie Burke Frederick - "Junior""

"Alice Mildred Puter - daughter"

"Dating is a risk. You took a risk. It's brave."

"Who our partner is... it determines our whole life... and how we live. Not for one, two, ten years, but... forever."

"Marriage is a business deal. And it always has been, since the very first time two people did it."

"[last lines] How would you like to make a very bad financial decision?"

"You say you think I'm smart, but you're talking to me like I'm a caveman. I wouldn't date you if I didn't see value. I'm not like my brother; I'm not looking for the nicest, prettiest rich girl who likes me back. I'm looking for someone who understands the game, how the world works. I'm looking for someone I respect. And trust. Someone who knows more than me. I don't want to date you for your material assets... though I think you're underselling them by a significant margin. Material assets are cheap, they don't last. I want to be with yoh for your intangible assets. Those are good investments. They don't degrade. They only get sharper."

"Dakota Johnson — Lucy Mason"

"Chris Evans — John Pitts"

"Zoë Winters — Sophie"

"Marin Ireland — Violet"

"Louisa Jacobson — Charlotte"

"Pedro Pascal — Harry Castillo"

"Since the day I was born, my mother told me we were different."

"Someday I would become the sole heir. There's real estate. Planes. An island or two."

"There were seven of them. Seven rich pricks between myself and 28 billion dollars."

"If I were to prune a few branches of the family tree..."

"You don't get out of here until you come clean."

"Been working your way up the financial ladder. Filthy business though."

"Okay, gun to your head. What would you even do with a billion dollars?"

"What ever happened to the Redfellow family fortune?"

"Well, call me when you killed them all."

"Until then, I'm sure you'll make a killing."

"We had an agreement."

"I wonder who's next. If I were you I might be nervous."

"Glen Powell as Becket Redfellow"

"Adrian Lukis as Father Morris"

"Nell Williams as Mary Redfellow"

"Ed Harris as Whitelaw Redfellow"

"Grady Wilson as Young Becket"

"Maggie Toomey as Young Julia"

"Lisa Tredoux as Julia's Mother"

"Margaret Qualley as Julia"

"Jessica Henwick as Ruth"

"James Frecheville as Lyle"

"Raff Law as Taylor Redfellow"

"Bill Camp as Warren Redfellow"

"Zach Woods as Noah Redfellow"

"Topher Grace as Steven Redfellow"

"Bianca Amato as Cassandra Redfellow"

"Alexander Hanson as McArthur Redfellow"

"Heir today, gone tomorrow."

"[the princess is asleep in his arms] Boy, are you lucky I was raised right. Or was I? Yeah, I guess I was."

"Olivia de Havilland - Princess Maria (aka "Mary Williams")"

"Robert Cummings - Eddie O'Rourke"

"Charles Coburn - Holman"

"Jack Carson - Dave Campbell"

"Jane Wyman - Jean Campbell"

"Harry Davenport - Supreme Court Judge"

"Gladys Cooper - Miss Haskell"

"Minor Watson - Mr. Washburn"

"Nan Wynn - Singer in Chinese restaurant"

"Curt Bois - Count Peter de Chandome"

"Julie Bishop - Stewardess"

"Ray Walker - "G-Man" (Secret Service)"

"Whiskers - Fala"