"[to his therapist] I was, uh, I was always very shy when it came to girls. I - I remember when I was a little boy, I …"

"You cannot bash in the head of an American citizen without written permission from the State Department."

"Although the United States is, uh, a very rich country and San Marcos is a very poor one, there are a great many thin…"

"We fell in love. I fell in love - she just stood there."

"Can you believe that? She says I'm not leader enough for her. Who was she looking for, Hitler?"

"Today's top stories: The United States government brings charges against Fielding Mellish as a subversive impostor, N…"

"Woody Allen - Fielding Mellish"

"Louise Lasser - Nancy"

"David Ortiz - Sanchez"

"Natividad Abascal - Yolanda"