"[after he spills coffee on his pants, Dylan is asking another employee for a replacement pair] I'm your boss! Give me…"

"Are you trying to dig your way to China?"

"I have the perfect body for Photoshop. This [face] gets more angular, these [legs] get longer and this [nose] gets wa…"

"I really have to stop buying into this bullshit Hollywood cliche of true love. [sees posters for "The Ugly Truth" on …"

"[repeated line] Still not gay?"

"A work ethic. I love it! That is why this country is still number one. Well, behind Germany and France and Belgium an…"

"Taxi Driver: Welcome to New York! Go and fuck a dick!"

"Kayla: Maybe you should care a little bit less about work and a little bit more about the girl you're dating because …"

"Friendship is a four-letter word."

"Everybody, this is Dylan. He's from L.A. [Everybody boos him] He's the reason I can afford all this beer! [Everybody …"