"I'm so embarrassed. I'm not a real person yet."

"Don't treat me like a three-hour brunch friend!"

"I'm too tall to marry."

"I like things that look like mistakes."

"We are like a lesbian couple that doesn't have sex anymore."

"The only people who can afford to be artists in New York are rich."

"It's just this apartment is very... aware of itself."

"I think it's a great day. I ate an egg bagel that Lev's slut made me. I internet-acquired three pairs of very rare Ra…"

"Rachel: Fuck, I sound like a gay grandma."

"It's that thing when you're with someone, and you love them and they know it, and they love you and you know it... bu…"