"I play the guitar whenever I cannot sleep, and I meditate every morning, complete with chanting and burning incense, …"

"I will bring home anyone or anything I chose including a one-eyed Episcopalian Kangaroo if that happens to be my kink…"

"If you were a Broadway musical, people would be humming your face."

""It never occurred to us that William Shakespeare wrote the Wizard of Oz. However, Elliot Garfield makes a splendid W…"

"Miss McFadden, today I begin rehearsals for my first New York play. It will be the most important day of my life. Am …"

"My careereth is over. I am making a horseth asseth of myselfeth. Mark, I'm begging you. I'm BEGGING you. You want thi…"

"What is it about you that makes a man with a hundred forty-seven I.Q. feel like a dribbling idiot?"

"You know I liked you from the first time I met you when you answered the door. I said to myself, "This is the best ha…"

"You know I love listening to you talk. I hate living with you but your conversation is first rate."

"You're not the only one who can yell rape, you know."