Bbc Shows

"Caroline Quentin: "TENA - When clenching just isn't enough.""

"Jack Dee: "Poor Mrs. Wilhelmina Binns was knackered giving birth to quins...""

"Jack Dee: "Despite the warnings, naughty Mya climbed right inside the tumble dryer...""

"Miles Jupp: "Gatting to Know You""

"Harry Enfield: "I can see Brierley now the rain has gone...""

"Jack Dee: "Daisy Pugh and husband Gus, spiced up their sex life on the bus...""

"Jack Dee: "A stubborn boy whose name was Norm, flew his kite in a lightning storm...""

"Jack Dee: "'Do not put', his mum told Ted, 'that plastic bag upon your head'...""

"Jack Dee: "Despite the warnings, naughty Sue would feed the monkeys in the zoo...""

"Jack Dee: "A wicked habit of young Bill's, was rifling through his father's pills...""

"Rory Bremner: "Corrie Seems to Be the Hardest Word""

"Lucy Porter: "Benaud, is it me you're looking for?""

"Jack Dee: "With stick in hand, naughty Denise approached a peaceful swarm of bees...""

"Jack Dee: "Young Nigel earned a stern reproof for doing cartwheels on the roof...""

"Jack Dee: "'I see dead people!' claimed young Cole, which made his mother drop her bowl...""

"Rory Bremner: "I've been to paradise but I've Never Been to Leigh""

"Pippa Evans: "I like big butties an' I cannot lie...""

"Jack Dee: "A naughty little lad called Dave would hide inside the microwave...""

"Jack Dee: "The infant Mike had such bad genes, he lived on top shelf magazines...""

"Marcus Brigstocke: "My Stumps, My Stumps, My lovely lady stumps.""

"Jack Dee: "One day a small girl called Sophia climbed right inside the tumble dryer...""

"Jack Dee: "'I think I shall try six', said Fred, 'electric blankets on my bed'...""

"Jack Dee: "Without permission, stupid Jake went skating on a frozen lake...""

"Tony Hawks: "Hit Me with Your Lytham Stick""

"Jack Dee: "In spite of warnings, little Stu would taunt the lions in the zoo...""

"Gary Delaney: "Coming up next, Chris Hemsworth is back in the Marvel crossover that's also a sequel to Frozen - Thaw.""

"Tony Hawks: "A fantasy epic on BBC now, with a tale spanning multiple worlds, in which a threatening godlike figure suffers several bouts of sexually transmitted infections. That's His Dark Venereals on BBC Three.""

"Rory Bremner: "Under Cheshire""

"Tony Hawks: "Next on ITV a new game show, giving contestants a chance to win an any of an amazing selection of panty liners. That's The Sale of the Sanitary, next.""

"Gary Delaney: "Next on BBC Two, Dara Ó Briain is back as the host of the quickfire topical panel show for Chinese cannibals who eat the shy. It's Wok the Meek. ...if you could hear the footsteps going all round the houses to get to that one!""

"Gary Delaney: "Coming up next, it's the crossover you never knew you needed - Ocean's Eleven meets Radio 4, but controversy strikes as the charismatic lead is replaced by Jack Dee in I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clooney.""

"Rory Bremner: "Later on Radio 4, a new series in which Kirsty Lang travels to each region of the UK in an attempt to find the country's finest sperm bank. That's Round Britain Jizz, this Friday at 11.30.""

"Jack Dee: "Belinda made her parents vexed for all she ever did was text...""

"Gary Delaney: "Timperley for the Devil""

"Pippa Evans: "On ITV at eight o'clock, mystery guests sing songs while wearing elaborate masks, before a celebrity jury attempts to guess which is the least attractive. That's The Masked Minger at eight o'clock.""

"Stephen Fry: "And talking of piers, Piers Morgan and Katie Hopkins visit Oxford to examine the Reverend Spooner's passion for the repair and maintenance of the city's traditional watercraft. That's Care of Punts, coming soon.""

"Miles Jupp: "Coming up this evening, Ben Fogle takes his fossil hammer to Dorset's Jurassic coast on a hunt for the perfect ammonite. That's Cracking One Out with Ben Fogle, later this evening.""

"Pippa Evans: "Richard Hammond travels round Britain to celebrate our seaside towns. That's Top Pier.""

"Stephen Fry: "Meanwhile on BBC One, Charlie Dimmock takes command of a squad of Coldstream Guards as they completely returf an entire rugby pitch in time for their crunch match against the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders. That's Sod This for a Game of Soldiers.""

"Pippa Evans: "I can see clearly now the rain has... oh it's started again...""

"Miles Jupp: "Take Me Home, Jonty Rhodes""

"Tony Hawks: "Yorkshire Tourist Board - Piss off!""

"Tony Hawks: "Coming up next on BBC One, the crime drama set on a well-known Scottish archipelago, now sadly polluted by sewage discharge. That's Shitland, tonight at nine.""

"Jack Dee: "Though often warned, a boy called Rex still tampered with electric flex...""

"Jack Dee: "Young James thought it would be a lark, to ride upon a great white shark...""

"Jeremy Hardy: "Last of the Châteauneuf-du-Pape.""

"Sandi Toksvig: "Tune in for the new quiz with Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman, and all the contestants go commando. That's Pantless, today at five.""

"Miles Jupp: "Later tonight on the BBC at 9 o'clock, a documentary about the time that Parliament was disrupted by a runaway elk that turned out to be promiscuous. That is There's a Moose Loose About This Hoose.""

"Richard Osman: "On E4 now, the dating show where IT professionals have to win a date and then immediately get dumped in Try Turning It On and Off Again.""

"Pippa Evans: "At 7pm tonight, tiny insects discuss fashion accessories. That's Fleabag on BBC Two"."