"We're a bisexual nation living in denial. All because of a bunch of nerds. A bunch of nerds who got off a boat in the 15th century and decided that sex was something to be ashamed of. All the Pilgrims did was ruin the American Indian orgy of freedom."

"This is the way the World ends. This is the way the World ends. This is the way the World ends. Not with a whimper, but with a bang."

"Roland Taverner: Sounds neat... How does he stop the global deceleration?"

"Starla Von Luft: [to Boxer] The information that I have uncovered could get me killed. But it was a risk I was willing to take. The fate of the earth depends on you, Jericho."

"Nothing an eight ball, a porn star and a tattoo parlor can't handle."

"Nobody rocks the cock like Cyndi Pinziki!"

"When the shit hits the fans, it all smells the same."

"Revelation 21: And God wiped away the tears from his eyes, so the new Messiah could see out to the new Jerusalem. His name was Officer Roland Taverner, of Hermosa Beach, California. My best friend. He is a pimp. And pimps don't commit suicide."

"Roland Taverner: We're taking the ATM machine with us to Mexico."

"Three days. Three final days. It all ends tonight."

"I'm a pimp... and pimps don't commit suicide."

"My character... he realizes that the apocalyptic crime rate is because of global deceleration. The rotation of the earth is slowing down at a rate of point zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero six miles per hour each day disrupting the chemical equilibrium in the human brain causing very irrational criminal behavior."

"The fourth dimension will collapse upon itself... you stupid bitch."

"Scientists are saying the future is going to be far more futuristic than they originally predicted."

"You know what, I like to get fucked, I like to get fucked hard. Okay, but you have to draw the line somewhere. I mean, violence is a big problem in our society today and I will not support it. That is the primary reason why I won't do anal."

"Proposition 69. To Krysta that number had one meaning, and one meaning only. To everyone else it was a proposition on the ballot to restrict the powers of the oppressive institution known as USIDent."

"[to Boxer] I love you, Jericho Cane."

"Join us for an in-depth discussion of the penetrating issues facing society today. Issues like abortion, terrorism, crime, poverty, social reform, quantum teleportation, teen horniness and war."

"Darkness fell upon the city. Neo-Marxist cells began to converge upon downtown."

"Ellen Barkin - Maggie Foley"