"You actually believe that you could build a castle out of a bunch of junk. What a crock. [looks at the mirror] Holy shit. What a phony. [smashes the mirror] Here we are, guys. Right where we belong. You got your Edsels,... Norges,... Dumonts... and Eddie Wilson. Together at last, creating our own incredible monument to nothing! [shouts and claps his hands] Here's to nothing, fellas! Here's to nothing!"

"[singing] The dark side is calling now, nothing is real / She'll never know just how I feel / From out of a shadow, she walks like a dream / Makes me feel crazy, makes me feel so mean / Ain't nothing gonna save you from a love that is blind / Slip to the dark side across that line / On the dark side, oh yeah / On the dark side, oh yeah"

"[to the audience, a few days after Wendell Newton's death] The other day, I buried one of my best friends. He was the best sax player I ever heard. And they tell me I gotta come up here and entertain you people now. I don't think I'll be able to do that. [walks off the stage]"

"Michael "Tunes" Antunes - Wendell Newton"

"Ellen Barkin - Maggie Foley"

"John Stockwell - Keith Livingston"

"Joe Pantoliano - Doc Robbins"

"Matthew Laurance - Sal Amato"

"Michael Pare - Eddie Wilson"

"Helen Schneider - Joann Carlino"

"Maggie Foley: "A Season in Hell", a spiritual and confessional autobiography. Arthur Rimbaud was a genius, his writings were a quest. A search for perfection, an attempt to find total freedom. At the age of nineteen, Arthur Rimbaud commited suicide, not of the flesh, but of the mind and the soul. It means he never wrote another word, and disappeared off the face of the earth. He was not seen nor heard from again for nearly twenty years, until he reappeared in a hospital within Marseille on his deathbed."

"Maggie Foley: [On the bridge Eddie wrecked on] The innocence of the 50s was over and so was rock and roll as we knew it. We were entering a new age, an age of confusion, an age of passion, of commitment. Eddie Wilson saw it coming. "Season in Hell" is the total innovation for its time. It was a signal a greatness yet to come. Eddie Wilson was a step ahead of us and I don't think we've caught up with him yet. Eddie's been dead for almost 18 years, but his music is as alive today as the day he recorded it. For me and for everyone who listens to music, Eddie Wilson lives and always will."

"Joann Carlino: There were so many things I wanted to say to him, so many questions I wanted to ask. But Eddie and I, we had a deal, we never talked about the future. We thought the present was so fine, why ruin it by planning ahead? But as Eddie drove off, I knew, I knew it then, it wasn't gonna be any future. In the morning, they told me that Eddie was gone, and they hadn't found his body."

"Tom Berenger - Frank Ridgeway"

"David Wilson - Kenny Hopkins"

"Narrator: Labia and Testiculi, destined to be joined together."

"Sampson: What would I want with a beautiful young thing when I've got you, eh?"

"Chicken: Cluck, cluck...Oh fuck, missed me cue."

"Machismo: Get your hand off my left tit. I'll fight you on one condition that you lower your nipples."

"Sprocket: You couldn't organize a fart at a curry-eating contest!"

"Charlie:You are going to fight him and that's that, there's no way out of it! When your God tells you to beat the shit out of somebody, you do it. That's when religion is all about!"

"The original, classic, theatrical release."

"Oi, oi! I'm talking to you, you rude bugger!"

"[to Sir Michael Kent]' Yo! Bullet head! Get back down there so we can finish doing the film!"

"You know, you're not as stupid as you look Muriel."

"This looks like a job for Hercules."

"[singing] Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree..."

"Get real, mum, I'm not marrying someone with bigger tits than me. He looks like a condom full of walnuts."

"What is that man doing with his hand on my Labia?"

"Natasha Shneider - Irina Yakunina"

"Elya Baskin - Maxim Brajlovsky"

"Mary Jo Deschanel - Betty Fernandez, Bowman's widow"

"Dana Elcar - Dimitri Moiseyevich"

"Saveliy Kramarov - Dr. Vladimir Rudenko"

"Taliesin Jaffe - Christopher Floyd"

"Madolyn Smith - Caroline Floyd"

"James McEachin - Victor Milson"

"Keir Dullea - Dave Bowman"

"Oleg Rudnik as Dr. Vasili Orlov"

"The odyssey continues 26 years ahead of its time."

"John Lithgow - Dr. Walter Curnow"

"Douglas Rain - the voice of HAL 9000"

"Something wonderful is about to happen."

"Is there life beyond the stars?"

"Roy Scheider - Dr. Heywood Floyd"

"This is the most difficult announcement. As you know, things have not been going well back home. Well, it's gotten worse-a lot worse. Yesterday, a Soviet destroyer challenged the blockade. Several warning shots were fired across her bow; she did not respond. A second volley was fired; there still was no response. None. The nuclear destroyer USS Cunningham launched two of her falcon missiles. Both struck the Soviet vessel amidship. She broke in two and sunk. 800 of her crew were lost. This morning, an American surveillance satellite was struck by a Soviet laser, fired from the Sergei Kirov space station. The American satellite was destroyed. The United States has broken off diplomatic relations with Russia. All ambassadors have been recalled. The Soviet ambassador has been expelled along with the entire staff. All American air defense and satellite defense forces are on full alert. Premier Ulanov made a televised address and said that technically, a state of war exists between our two countries. All American personnel are ordered to leave Soviet territory immediately or they will be placed under arrest. All Russian personnel are similarly ordered to evacuate American territory. As a result, by direct Presidential order, the three of you must leave the Leonov. No Russian citizen is allowed to remain on or is allowed to enter the Discovery. This order is effective immediately. The launch window for reentry is 28 days. The Discovery has enough fuel for low consumption trajectory. HAL appears to be reactivated and is functioning well enough to operate the onboard systems. The Leonov has enough fuel for low consumption trajectory that will arrive 12 months earlier. The launch windows are critical for both the spacecraft. Only communications of emergency distress nature are allowed between the Leonov and Discovery. I know you people are caught in the middle of this — in a sense, we all are. I wish there was something I could do to help. The only thing left for us is to pray...pray for the safety of our families, for our countries, for our planet. May God forgive us and protect us."

"Milson to Floyd: It's been 12 hours since my request for information. I need a reply. All hell is breaking loose down here; I have enough problems without you people pulling some kind of a stunt. I only hope that there's a world left for you to return to. Report to ground as to what is going on and make that report immediately! And while you're at it, could you please check out a black spot on Jupiter that has been detected by satellite telescope? It is on the dark side, and should be coming around your way in about 4 hours. End transmission, Milson, 2780."

"In the very near future a small group of Americans and Russians set out on the greatest adventure of them all... To see if there is life beyond the stars."

"This is Milson, switching over to KE2 in 5 seconds. Mark. I wish I could bring you better news. It's getting worse. The President addressed a joint session of Congress yesterday. He said he wasn't gonna back down on the blockade. I don't know which was scarier, the speech or the Congress cheering it. He evoked Lincoln. Whenever a president is gonna get us into serious trouble, they always use Lincoln. I honestly don't know if we're gonna be at war or not — it's terrifying to hope that the Russians are less crazy than we are, when they are clearly crazy. Right now, I think you're in a safer place than we are. I just hope that there is an Earth to return to. I heard about the spoiled food in the Discoverys galley. I'm glad that's all it was. I'm also glad that you got the ship under control. Curnow is a capable man. No one knows those systems better than he does. It's a good sign that there was some reserve power. Maybe the rest of the circuitry will work. We have nothing new here on the Monolith. Our data confirms yours. It's not moving."

"My dear Christopher: This is the last time I'll be able to speak to you for a long while. I'm trying to put into words what has happened. Maybe that's for historians to do sometime later. They will record that the next day, the President of the United States looked out of the White House window and the Premier of the Soviet Union looked out of the Kremlin window, and saw the new distant sun in the sky. They read the message, and perhaps they learned something because they finally recalled their ships and their planes. I am going to sleep now. I will dream of you and your mother. I will sleep knowing that you are both safe, that the fear is over. We have seen the process of life take place. Maybe this is the way it happened on Earth millions of years ago. Maybe it's something completely different. I still don't know really what the Monolith is. I think it's many things. An embassy for an intelligence beyond ours. A shape of some kind for something that has no shape. Your children will be born in a world of two suns. They will never know a sky without them. You can tell them that you remember when there was a pitch black sky with no bright star, and people feared the night. You can tell them when we were alone, when we couldn't point to the light and say to ourselves, "There is life out there." Someday, the children of the new sun will meet the children of the old. I think they will be our friends. You can tell your children of the day when everyone looked up and realized that we were only tenants of this world. We have been given a new lease and a warning from the landlord."