"[to her father] I told you I was telling the truth, Daddy. I'm sorry I lied to you, but you lied too. You told me everyone was alike and deserved a fair break. But you meant everyone who was like you. You told me you wanted me to change the world, to make it better. But you meant by becoming a lawyer or a Doctor and marrying someone from Harvard. I'm not proud of myself, but I'm in this family too. You can't keep giving me the silent treatment. There are a lot of things about me that aren't what you thought. But if you love me, you have to love all the things about me, and I love you. I'm sorry I let you down; I'm so sorry, Daddy. But you let me down too."

"Oh, yes, as a matter of fact it is. We're supposed to do the show in two days, you won't show me the lifts, I'm not sure of the turns, I'm doing all this to save your ass, what I really want to do is drop you on it!"

"[when she sneaks into the employees-only party] I carried a watermelon. [realizes what she just said] I carried a watermelon?"

"[voiceover] That was the summer of 1963, when everybody called me "Baby", and it didn't occur to me to mind. That was before President Kennedy was shot, before the Beatles, when I couldn't wait to join the Peace Corps, and I thought I'd never find a guy as great as my dad. That was the summer we went to Kellermans."

"Sorry about the disruption, folks, but I always do the last dance of the season. This year somebody told me not to. So I'm gonna do my kind of dancin' with a great partner, who's not only a terrific dancer. Somebody who's taught me that there are people willing to stand up for other people no matter what it costs them. Somebody who's taught me about the kind of person I wanna be. Miss Frances Houseman."

"Look, spaghetti arms. This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine. You gotta hold the frame."

"Jennifer Coolidge - Stifler's Mom"

"Philip Seymour Hoffman - Lester Bangs"

"Jimmy Fallon - Dennis Hope"

"Anna Paquin - Polexia Aphrodisia"

"Fairuza Balk - Sapphire"

"Zooey Deschanel - Anita Miller"

"Patrick Fugit - William Miller"

"Jason Lee - Jeff Bebe"

"Kate Hudson - Penny Lane"

"Frances McDormand - Elaine Miller"

"Billy Crudup - Russell Hammond"

"Dennis Hope: If you think Mick Jagger will still be out there trying to be a rock star at age fifty, then you are sadly, sadly mistaken."

"Don't take drugs!"

"[to her class] Rockstars have kidnapped my son."

"Look at this: an entire generation of Cinderellas and there's no glass slipper."

"Show me any guy who ever said he didn't want to be popular, and I'll show you a scared guy. I've studied the entire history of music. Most of the time, the best stuff is the popular stuff. It's much safer to say popularity sucks, because that allows you to forgive yourself if you suck. And I don't forgive myself. Do you?"

"Great art is about guilt and longing and, you know, love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love."

"Here 's a theory for you to disregard - completely. Music, you know, true music - not just rock 'n' roll - it chooses you. You know, it lives in your car, or alone, listening to your headphones, with vast scenic bridges and angelic choirs in your brain. You know, it's a place apart from the vast, benign lap of America."

"You know, because once you go to L.A., you're gonna have friends like crazy. But they're gonna be fake friends. You know, they're gonna try to corrupt you. You got an honest face, and they're gonna tell you everything. But you cannot make friends with the rock stars...If you're gonna be a true journalist -- you know, a rock journalist -- first, you never get paid much. But you will get free records from the record company. Jesus. Fucking nothing about you that is controversial, man. God, it's gonna get ugly, man. They're gonna buy you drinks. You're gonna meet girls, they're gonna try to fly you places for free, offer you drugs. I know. It sounds great, but these people are not your friends. You know, these are people who want you to write sanctimonious stories about the genius of rock stars. And they will ruin rock 'n' roll, and strangle everything we love about it, right? You know, because they're trying to buy respectability for a form that is gloriously and righteously dumb. Now, you're smart enough to know that. And the day it ceases to be dumb is the day that it ceases to be real, right? And then it just becomes an industry of cool. I'm-I'm telling ya, you're comin' along at a very dangerous time for rock 'n' roll. I mean, the war is over. They won. And 99% of what passes for rock 'n' roll these days, silence is more compelling. That's why I think you should just turn around and go back, you know, and be a lawyer or somethin'. But I can tell from your face that you won't. I can give you 35 bucks. Give me a thousand words on Black Sabbath...Hey, you have to make your reputation on being honest and, uh, you know, unmerciful...If you get into a jam, you can call me. I stay up late."

"I always tell the girls, never take it seriously. If ya never take it seriously, you never get hurt. If ya never get hurt, you always have fun. And if ya ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends."

"We are not groupies. Groupies sleep with rock stars because they want to be near someone famous. We are here because of the music, we inspire the music. We are Band Aids."

"Where and when does this "real world" occur?"