"Willie Rushton: (on James Bond books) "'Casino Royale' has now become 'Bingo with Princess Michael', 'Thunderball' is 'Drizzle Pillock', 'Dr. No' is 'First aid kit in the boot, possibly', and my favourite I think is 'Octopussy' has become 'Unipart'.""

"Barry Cryer: "The Condom of the Opera""

"Graeme Garden: "Gibbon's Decline & Fall of the Hackney Empire""

"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "EM Forster's 'A Passage to Islington'""

"Graeme Garden: "Moby Doris""

"Harry Enfield: "We'll send you a massive bill"

"Willie Rushton: "Tadpole Dundee""

"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "Balshazzar's Sandwich""

"Graeme Garden: "The Chi-Hua-Hua of the Baskervilles""

"Marcus Brigstocke: "Chicken in a gasket.""

"Marcus Brigstocke: "I don't know but I've been told"

"Miles Jupp: "Good news about your application"

"Rory Bremner: "Out of range the battery's dead"

"Tony Hawks: "We look at your rectal issues"

"Harry Enfield: "Come and buy a lovely vape"

"Pippa Evans: "Standing watching all of you"

"Gary Delaney: "Once on TV I was hot"

"Pippa Evans: [Whispering throughout] "Gentle parenting's the way"

"Rory Bremner: "We're the police force, we solve crime"

"Lucy Porter: "No matter if you're on the dole"

"Rachel Parris: "Shall I be mother?""

"Miles Jupp: "Oh, let's not be formal, just use your hands.""

"Miles Jupp: "I might just have to loosen my trousers and go for seconds.""

"Adrian Edmondson: "Ooh, what a lovely spread.""

"Adrian Edmondson: "Sorry, I started without you.""

"Barry Cryer: "Mange toot-toot.""

"Miles Jupp: "I've put some little bowls out so you can clean your fingers.""

"It just occurred to me that Samantha hasn't given us the scores...since 1981."

"Henning Wehn: "This is mostly crust!""

"Adrian Edmondson: "Smack the bottom really hard and see if anything comes out.""

"Marcus Brigstocke: "About my trips I always crow"

"Rachel Parris: "Don't check if it's done or it'll take longer!""

"Miles Jupp: "Bring it to your mouth, not your mouth to it, please!""

"Adrian Edmondson: "If you don't eat it now, I'll just bring it out again at breakfast.""

"Adrian Edmondson: "But remember to chew every mouthful.""

"Rachel Parris: "And it's polite not to leave until everyone has finished.""

"Miles Jupp: "Just ten more minutes, the meat really needs to rest.""

"Henning Wehn: "Is service included?""

"Henning Wehn: "In some cultures it's polite to burp afterwards.""

"Rachel Parris: "That was nice, but I still prefer Five Guys.""

"Miles Jupp: "If the dog's bothering you, I can put him in the garden.""

"Henning Wehn: "This reminds me of my time in prison...""

"Marcus Brigstocke: "We did it, Sam; we destroyed the Ring!""

"Henning Wehn: "Shall we have people round or just keep it cosy?""

"Miles Jupp: "I like to dribble a little oil on mine.""

"Adrian Edmondson: "Oh, no! I think I left the giblets in!""

"Rachel Parris: "Sorry, it's a bit dry.""