"Greetings, programs! Oh, what an occasion we have here before us. Because your rumors are true. We do indeed have in our midst a User! A User. So, what to do? What does this User deserve? Might I suggest, perhaps, the challenge of the grid? [crowd cheers] And who best to battle this singular opponent? Perhaps one who has some experience in these matters. Oh yes indeed, programs! Your liberator! Your luminary! Your leader and beacon! The one who vanquished the tyranny of the user those many cycles before! CLU!"

"You've been corrupted."

"Game on, old friend."

"I've been waiting a long time for this."

"I'm not your father Sam. But I am very, very happy to see you."

"Sam. Look at you man. Look at the size of you."

"Greetings, programs! Together we have achieved a great many things. We have created a vast, complex system. We've maintained it; we've improved it. We've rid it of its imperfection. Not to mention, rid it of the false deity who sought to enslave us! Kevin Flynn!! Where are you now?! My fellow programs, let there be no doubt that our world is a cage no more. For at this moment, the key to the next frontier is finally in our possession! And unlike our selfish creator, who reserved the privilege of our world only for himself, I will make their world open and available to all of us. YES, TO ALL OF US! And whatever we find there, there, our system will grow. There, our system will blossom! Do this, prove yourselves, prove yourselves to me, be loyal to me, and I will never betray you! - Maximize efficiency, rid the new system of its imperfection! My vision is clear, fellow programs. Out there is a new world! Out there is our victory! Out there... is our destiny."

"Well the thing about these costumes is they don’t stretch. So it was certainly, once we had our last fitting it was like okay this is the size of the costume now. So just so it can’t change. It’s not like we can do a little adjustment on this one, each suit was a sculpture. It was such an intricate piece of– of craftsmanship. So you couldn’t say like oh, well, they’ll give me another one or oh, , maybe I could let this out a little at the seams. And so there was a certain dedication to the suit, a relationship we had to have with our suits, good and bad. But, of course after over four months of working and, you fluctuate physically, and of course you train and train and train for movie and want to ask you start doing a movie you don’t have time to train. but it was, luckily I survived and was able to stay in that suit just enough, just until the last second."

"As an early Hannukah present, I'm going to send you and Pam a box of these musical condoms."

"Bernie, do you hear how you're upsetting your son?"

"That's because you did it backwards."

"Deepak Chopra — Himself"

"Nick Kroll — Young Doctor"

"John DiMaggio Jordan Peele Kelli Kirkland — EMTs"

"Olga Fonda — Svetlana"

"Harvey Keitel — Randy Weir"

"Yul Vasquez — Junior"

"Kevin Hart — Nurse Louis"

"Daisy Tahan — Sam Focker"

"Colin Baiocchi — Henry Focker"