First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Laura Dern — Prudence"
"Teri Polo — Pam Byrnes-Focker"
"Jessica Alba — Andi Garcia"
"Blythe Danner — Dina Byrnes"
"Dustin Hoffman — Bernie Focker"
"Owen Wilson — Kevin Rawley"
"Barbra Streisand — Roz Focker"
"Robert De Niro — Jack Byrnes"
"Ben Stiller — Greg Focker"
"You kids wanna pick your nose and flick your boogers? Do it!"
"I had no idea how deep I was until I stepped away, and I'll tell you something. Once I got off the treadmill, I've never been happier."
"Ah. He pulled the same shit on you, didn't he? In that family, we're all just hamsters on Jack Byrnes' little wheel. His Circus of Trust or whatever he calls it."
"More like his golden bitch. He wanted Deb and me to get married in Oyster Bay. Done. Can we name our baby after him? "You got it, Jack." Then he gives me this whole spiel, right, about how I'm next in line to his throne. He came up with this name for me, the Bobfather."
"OK. I get it, Greg. I screwed up. The pressure of being in that family finally got to me."
"Greg, he's not responding to my treatment."
"Not in the Western sense of word."
"I speak from the heart, off the cuff, like my man, J.C. at the Sermon on the Mount. You said that's what you've always admired about me."
"Look, even our dear friend, the Buddha had to pass through samsara on his way to enlightenment."
"Look, it's natural to get a little tempted."
"Andi gives Daddy his boners."
"I can't say because I'm not supposed to be spying."
"Um, like Mommy got mad at Daddy because he was going to the hotel with Andi."
"I guess they fight sometimes."
"We're just trying to help you, sir..."
"Why is he cursing at us?"
"[to Kevin] Why don't you get on your stupid monster yacht with your bubble-butt Russian girlfriend and do Jell-O shots off of Deepak Chopra's butt?"
"Really? To you waving your hands over him? He's not a Ouija board, Kevin."
"Just please, approval! Approval! Please! Give me some of the Jack... yeah..."
"[imitates a hamster]"
"[losing it] The wheel! The little hamster wheel that we're all running up to get a little taste of your little water thingy!"
"I'm getting off the wheel."
"You're not going to erase my son's memory."
"Don't do that."
"Mmm. Well, I think Harvard's cheaper."
"Not in *any* sense of word."
"He's not a doctor."
"Circle of Trust."
"Really? He said that to you?"
"What are you talking about? You were his golden boy."
"Well, I got good news for you. You're not Jesus."
"[sarcastically] Our dear friend the Buddha? How's he doing? It's been so long. Do you ever listen to yourself?"
"Nobody's tempted, nobody..."
"Yes. Even after that. It's still... It's all good. It's all good under the hood."
"To Pam? Are you kidding? Yes. Jack, there's never been a problem with that."
"Yeah, well I have eyes too. So I'll be watching you... watching me."
"[to his cat after seeing the remixed video of Greg's rant] That's the Godfocker? [cat hisses]"
"Yeah. The pulse on your carotid antery remained steady as you pleaded your innocence."
"I know you were telling the truth about Andi, Greg."
"Sam might be three quarters Byrnes, whereas Henry could very well have a double dose of Focker in him. Double dose."
"What wheel?"