Homestar Runner

"Strong Bad: Dear Tube Socks, It's me again. I hope you had a good year. Free of athletes' feet and toe jams. Lemme cut to the chase. On Decemberween morning, when I open you guys up, you're going to hear...things. Hurtful things. Unforgivable things. Things like, [groans], and, “Oh, maaan!”, and “This present of tube socks totally sucks and I hate it!” Don't you believe a word of it, Tube Socks. I love you guys. I don't know what I'd do without my yearly pair. But a guy's gotta keep up appearances, right? If peoples found out I have a soft spot for tube socks, it'd be all over. It took me years to live down that Martina Navratilova poster, and I will not go down that road again. We can be secret friends. Like that hunchback kid at school. In closing, please disregard any and all negative comments or negative burning you may hear or experience on Decemberween. Stealthily Yours, Strong Bad."

"Rumble Red: Earthling, explain to me this pile of rotten rodentia...rumble."

"The Homestar Runner: It's Decemberween, Rumble Red. The most sanitary time of year. When everyone piles up all the dead rats they've a-cooma-lated throughout the year."

"Strong Sad: Sports and practice! Sports and practice! Oh, hash potatoes! I'll never be the number-one pick!"

"Homestar Runner: Hustle for sports!"

"Coach Z: My whole deal's backed up by actual scientific findings— and this rotating computer graphic, so you know it's legit!"

"Reporter: Homestar Runner, you just won the sports, how you diddat?"

"Homestar Runner: Well, we just brought our “A” game, you know? Everybody stepped it up out there, and then we stayed within ourselves, and decided that it would be a good strategy to try and score more points than our opponents within the allotted time. [holds up Coach Z's video] Thanks, Coach Z's 110% Hustle for Sports Instructional Video!"

"Homestar Runner: First up on our tour, is this brellow crown! [sic] And what a rich history it has! It dates all the way back to this one time."

"Homestar Runner: My brellow crown [sic] is instrumental in the drawing of buttered toast, not quite hornets, and the sun, with a 'fro."

"Strong Bad: I can't look at it right now, I told you!"

"The Cheat: [The Cheat noises]"

"Strong Bad: A football is wearing my pants!"

"Strong Bad: I don't know, The Cheat!"

"Strong Bad: Yes, I am also wearing them! That's what's freakin' me out!"

"Homestar Runner: I got a good feeling about this one, Strong Bad."

"Strong Bad: Great. And now I have a bad feeling about this one."

"Strong Bad:: Aaand you brought a boulder."

"Homestar Runner: Not me. Plate tectonics."

"Strong Bad: What are you doin' in here, man?!"

"Homestar Runner: Oh. Well, I heard you talking about motivation and inspiration, and I decided to brush off my old ABD's!"

"Strong Bad: Umm, Aloud But Deadly?"

"Homestar Runner: You don't know about the ABD's, Strong Bad?"

"[long beat; electronic whine can be heard in the background]"

"Strong Bad: [whispering] I'm just gonna stay silent in the hope that you won't tell me what it means."

"Homestar Runner: Always be'sing and do'sing!"

"Strong Bad: You say that like it clarified anything."

"Homestar Runner: Rules for an inspired life, Strong Bad. No matter what you do, or where you are, always be's be'sing and do'sing."

"Strong Bad: So you started a cult."

"Homestar Runner: Yeah, kinda. For instance, I am currently be'sing on this boulder, and I am do'sing an ABD workshop with you."

"Strong Bad: Oh, okay. Then I am be'sing full of rage, and do'sing a roundhouse kick to your face!"

"Homestar Runner: Nooope, nope nope, that was some prime choosing you committed right there. Did you see it?"

"Strong Bad: Wait, what's wrong with choosing?!"

"Homestar Runner: Cheesing and choosing. The antithesis of be'sing and do'sing! If you're choosin', you're losin'."

"Strong Bad: Just because something rhymes doesn't mean it's good life advice!"

"Homestar Runner: Ah! And that's a perfect example of cheesing!"

"Homestar Runner: Changin' attitudes with rhymin' platitudes!"

"The girls: [Repeated line] SOOOOO GOOD!"

"Narrator: ARROWED!!!"

"So and So: Before we shop, how about some PAN-ASIAN CUISINE?"

"The Ugly One: Three spring rolls, please."

"[chef throws spring rolls at The Ugly One]"

"Chef: MSG'D!!"

"The Ugly One: Ow! My stomach lining!"

"What’s Her Face: When you fall in a bottomless pit, you die of starvation."

"Everybody loves the Homestar Runner. He is a terrific athlete."

"The Ugly One: [thinking] I hope nobody cool or famous is staring at me."

"[ George Washington, Abe Lincoln, and Henry Rollins appear and point at The Ugly One.]"

"George Washington: Look, look at that girl."

"So and So: She's my friend, but not my best. [beat] Now who wants to tandem parasail with me?"