Homestar Runner

"Strong Bad: They should be less confusing. [robotically] Your test results are: terrible. And you're dying, or possibly already dead by the time you get this. If you want us to perform experimental surgery on you and, like, sew a llama head onto your existing head, please call back during regular putting-llama-heads-on-people hours and we will schedule an appointment. This prank call has not been my finest execution. Thank you and have a nice day."

"Homestar Runner: This is the best Decemberween ever!"

"[Chizuko vaporizes Japanese Culture Greg]"

"Strong Sad: I don't want to be party to this!"

"Homestar Runner: Bravo, Strong Bad. You simply must read one more."

"Strong Bad: Oh, man! This is the worst Decem—"

"So and So: Valen-TINES!! T-I-N— [So and So is run over by a formula 1 car driven by a fork]"

"Sci-fi Greg: You'd think I'd be into life-size, realistic robots, but that thing makes me wanna barf up my earlier energy drink into the one I'm currently drinking."

"Homestar Runner: Oh, man, Marzipan! Have you heard about the new internet craze, planking? It is gonna be around forever, and I'm gonna be doing it forever! Etched into the halls of history!"

"Strong Bad: [normal voice] Wait, what? Oh, [resumes speaking robotically] your test results are: positive. [normal voice] Are you sure? It sounds like I'm giving her good news."

"Strong Bad: [Playing the “Bull Riding” minigame] Whoa, palette swap! That is jarring. [twangy accent] In Texas, we only see things in the taco seasoning spectrum. Who needs CMYK when you can have... GMCJ? That's guacamole, mole, cayenne and jalapeño."

"Strong Bad: "Ha ha ha ha! That guy is talking to a thing that's not a person!" cackled Strong Bad with sort of a nose."

"Strong Bad: Okay, let's see what we got from Homestar here..."

"Homestar Runner: I know! And you liked it so much, I decided to get it for you again!"

"So and So: I'll notify her next of... uh... fruit cup. [to fruit cup] I'm so sorry to have to tell you this..."

"Cheerleader: What?"

"What’s Her Face: I'm a little rusty on my white girl gangsta. Does that mean you're dating a pretty prism?"

"Chizuko: Welcome, American investor, to 2005 Consumer Robotics Show!"

"Strong Bad: Uh, yes, hello there Mrs. Pan. This is, uh, Detective Everybody down here at the station. And um, and we got your boyfriend Homestar down here and, uh, he's dead. Beca— we killed him, because he was so stupid that we had to shoot him, to keep h-him from being even more stupid. So if you wanna come down and I.D. the body, there's not much left... we put about 37 slugs in him, eh-and things don't look too good. Uh, so if you could come down we would appreciate it, right now, um, to come look at your dead boyfriend. [cracking up] Okay, have a good day."

"Strong Bad: Oh... fiber optics... makes sense, makes sense..."

"Homestar Runner: Oh, man, Marzipan, I don't think I'm feeling so good. I think I've got a bad case of... Linsanity! Oh, man! Have you seen this kid? Jeremy Lin! He can't be stopped! He's gonna score thirty points a game for the rest of his career! The Knicks are never gonna let this guy go! Face of the franchise. I will never forget Linsanity. Carved into the tree trunk of history!"

"Strong Sad: [in the background] Negative is good when you're talking about lab results!"

"Strong Bad: All right, let's see, what else we got? "Eye & Hearing Test"? How'd they sneak that one onto the top menu? That should definitely be between, like, the Amortaninazation Calculator and like, Edgar's Checkbook Balance Blasta."

"Strong Bad: Whoa-ho-ho-ho! Nice wipeout! I did, like six 360s! That's like a... six-thrixty!"

"Homestar Runner: Everybody loves the me! I'm a terrific athlete!"

"Strong Bad: [narrating a picture book] Strong Bad and his The Cheat rolled up and started talking smack. [in awkward monotone] "You look dumb and stuff! Doing yardwork is only for the loseriest of losers!""

"Strong Bad: Ohh, fine, fine. So I shall. How about The Strong Sad Wets Yonder Bed?"

"Strong Sad: [leans in] There is no such kids' book!"

"Homestar Runner: Open it! Open it! That one's from me. It took me forever to pick it out!"

"Strong Bad: What?! The Deep Impact DVD?! You got me this for like the last three years, man!"

"Cheerleader: [to So and So] Shut yer plaid skirted face! Here comes a boy!"

"The Ugly One: Owww! My the fact that I was alive a second ago!"

"Cheerleader: Stop talking to fruit! Valentimes [sic] is serious times!"

"So and So: -tines."

"Cheerleader: As I was saying, Vamlumtime's [sic] Day is serious times."

"Cheerleader: Oh my grash, gals! Guess who just got a date for the priggidy prizom?!"

"So and So: No no, that's the name of this year's prom."

"Japanese Culture Greg: Come on Chizuko, we're too cool for the prom anyway."

"Narrator: UNCANNY VALLEY'D!"

"Japanese Culture Greg: THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE!"

"Strong Bad: Oh dang! Oh dang muffins! Oh dang muffins pie! OH DANG MUFFINS PIE À LA MODE! This is gonna be the best April Fools' Day prank call ever! Now you're sure the science is sound? The battle axes and Cheez Wheezes will actually get through the phone lines?"

"The Cheat: [gibberish]"

"Strong Bad: [smoothly] Good afternoon, Mrs. Pan. This is Vince Napmaker from public radio's "The World is my Butt". We wanted to call you to thank you for being a continued supporter of public radio. But we wanted to ask you if you'd be willing to increase your support. Every dollar counts. Do you have any idea how much it costs to act like you're this much better than everyone else? And furthermore, our uppity podcasts aren't going to create themselves. So please, as always, for the sake of tote bags everywhere, put a bunch of cash in a paper and/or plastic bag and leave it on the doorstep."

"Homestar Runner: Oh man, Marzipan. Kickstarter sensation the Ouya, they're gonna make games for that thing for the rest of eternity! Mark my words, every game that comes out from now until the end of time will also come out on the Ouya. Gonna outlive Sony, Nintendo, Coleco, Canseco, Jaleco, all of the heavy hitters. Anyways, I can't wait to be playing Ouya games in fifteen years, or even like, five months! Written in Sharpie on the bathroom wall of history!"

"Strong Sad: Oh, hey Marzipan. It's Strong Sad. Uh, I've just been feeling really depressed, 'cause, because I haven't been acting very depressed. It used to be my thing, but I don't feel like I get to be sad and depressing anymore, like I used to. So I just want to kinda beef up my numbers in the sad and depressing column. So I may be leaving you some messages, you know sort of dark, inner demons, and that kind of thing. Should be fun."

"Strong Bad: [robotically] Greetings, Marzipan. This is an automated call from Grody Lab Results, Incorporated. Your test results are: negative."

"Homestar Runner: Oh man, Marzipan. Can you hear that? That is the majestic hush of a paradigm shift. That's right. Me and Pom Pom are waiting in line for our Google Glass! I can't wait to be like, lookin' through this thing! And like, seein' other things! I honestly can't remember how I lived my life yesterday, without Google Glass. These things are gonna change the way they build cities! I'm talkin' Bezos segway style. Alright, I gotta go. It's almost me and Pom Pom's turn! Blinking photographs into the profile pics of history!"

"Strong Bad: [unconvincing “foreign” accent] Oh, yes, Marzipan. This is your foreign boyfriend, Rongardo Shavemybody. It's so nice to hear your voice again on machine of answers. I miss all the time we spent in foreign lands together, havin' exotic foods. I'm visiting your country now, and want you to come and meet with me. I hear there's a lovely little café in a place called Strong Badia. Would you go, please, and wait for me there? As is the custom of my people, I will be very late, and you should wait for a really long time. You will think that it is too long to be waiting, but I assure you is the custom of my payple [sic], and you don't want to be offending my payple, do you? Alright. I kiss you on both sides of your cheek and underneath your chin. As is the custom of... a-my PAYple. And now I bid you farewell in the most prime language of my country. Braunschweiger!"

"Strong Bad: "Enter your name." I gotta go with the number one world athletic champion, Loadpast. "Loadpast pick your country!" I see the very current nations of U.S.S.R. and West Germany."

"Strong Bad: Now listen. I've got enough classic motion tweens and deprecated actions in ol' F-Sack here to last us at least six months until we can learn HTML5."