"How do they walk away in movies when it explodes behind them? There's no way! I call bullshit on that. When they flew the Millennium Falcon out of the Death Star and it was followed by the explosion, that was bullshit!"

"I never actually put my foot all the way down to the ground with the accelerator like that. It got me slightly aroused."

"[in a ballet school] I think we all experienced our own ballet today. A ballet of emotion, and feelings."

"[while interrogating Ershon] I'm gonna make you eat a plate of human shit!"

"Listen, guys. I'm working two jobs. I'm working here, and I got another job at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Okay? I'm doing that just to put a kid through NYU so he can explore his bisexuality and become a deejay. Now the last thing I need is a ballistics report in the unit. I'm just gonna ask you guys. Please, come on. Really. Just think about it. Just be smart."

"Rosie Perez as herself"

"Tracy Morgan as himself"

"Shoshannah Stern - Steven's Girlfriend"

"Eric Roberts - Himself (uncredited)"

"Joan Cusack - Fanny Nash (uncredited)"

"Robert Evans - Himself (uncredited)"

"Judy Greer - Girl with Emily French at Movie Premiere (uncredited)"

"James Rebhorn - Abe White"

"Russell Means - Himself"

"Pat Morita - Himself"

"Glenn Morshower - Agent McCaffrey"

"Daniel Morton - Nicky's Son"

"Toni Collette - Emily French"

"Tony Shalhoub - Tommy Sanz"

"Calista Flockhart - Valerie Weston"

"Alec Baldwin - Joe Devine"

"Tim Blake Nelson - Marshal Paris"

"The true story of the greatest movie never made."

"Matthew Broderick - Steven Schats"

"Buck Henry - Lonnie Bosco"

"Ray Liotta - Jack Devine"

"Ian Gomez - Agent Nance"

"Angela Goethals - Pam Wolfe"

"A rock and roll fantasy."

"David Keith - Elvis Presley"

"Tuesday Weld - Marie Wolfe"

"1972. My family needed some help, my town needed a hero, and my band needed a break. So I borrowed Mom's pink Cadillac and I kidnapped Elvis Presley, and our lives were never the same again."

"Charlie Schlatter - Johnny Wolfe"

"Son, you're talking to Elvis Presley! Do I look like a dating service?"

"You're kissing the same ass you used to kick."

"James Carpenter - Officer Forbes"

"Michael Rapaport - Kevin McCall"

"Carmen Ejogo - Veronica "Ronnie" Tate"

"Art Evans - Lt. Sam Baffett"

"Life is a negotiation."

"Eddie Murphy - Insp. Scott Roper"

"Michael Wincott - Michael Korda"

"Kim Miyori - Detective Kimura"

"[on watching a foreign film] My eyes still hurt from reading that movie."

"[seeing the old red truck provided by the police department] Aww. C'mon, man! Who am I? Red Foxx? I can't roll in that shit!"

"You know, there's a saying in Naples: When you think you're fucking them, they're fucking you."

"San Francisco's top police hostage negotiator is about to get more than he ever bargained for."

"Donal Logue - Earl"