First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"...that's tested on living humans."
"...that spends a night with science and then e-mails you the pictures."
"...that wets its underpants inside-out to save on the laundry."
"...that lances boils on the spotty bottom of science."
"...an embarrassing wet patch on the trousers of science."
"...that farts at the dinner table and blames your granny."
"...the bug-eyed, hunchbacked stepchild in the family of science."
"...a verruca on the naked foot of Lady Science."
"...where science stays up late, way past its bedtime."
"...that puts its feet up on your mum's best furniture."
"...that farts in the jacuzzi of human knowledge."
"...that pulls a moonie in the face of science."
"...that doesn't wash its hands after going to the loo."
"...that bunks off work early."
"...that gets on the bus without paying its fare."
"...that knows where the presents are hidden."
"...that’s got more stuffing than your mum’s turkey."
"...that doesn't write “thank you” letters."
"...that other science shows cross over the road to avoid."
"...that laughs in the face of science."
"...that does for science what Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen does for Australian football."
"...that does for science what a naked flame does for a petrol station forecourt."
"...that's so hard, you can crack nuts with it."
"...that puts the "fizz" into "physics"."
"...that tickles science until it wets its pants."
"...that grabs science by the sideburns and makes it stand outside the headmaster's study."
"...that ties a 30-metre bungee cord around the legs of science and chucks it off a 20-metre bridge."
"...that doesn't wipe its feet before stepping on your granny's new carpet."
"...that thinks salad is for wimps."
"...that does for science what a milkmaid does for udders."
"...that does for science what nitro does for glycerin."
"...where we use and abuse science in the name of entertainment."
"...that meets science on a darkened street corner, and blows raspberries right in its face."
"...that wakes up in bed with science, and can't remember its name."
"...that plays kiss-chase with science."
"...that's funded entirely by Hillbillies."
"...your mum warned you about."
"...predicted by Nostradamus."
"...that blindfolds science and takes it for a joyride."
"...that crouches down behind science and invites you to give it a shove."
"...that comes home at 4 in the morning, smelling of whiskey and covered in lipstick."
"...that takes on science with both hands tied behind its back."
"...that's nearly an anagram for "brain ache"."
"...that hangs out on street corners with its mate."
"...that does for science what Ken does for Barbie."
"...that pulls down the trousers of science and spanks it with a slipper."
"...that takes science, strips it down, and gives it a damn good oiling."
"...where we take science and smack it hard on its chubby little bottom."
"...that's a bit like GCSE Physics, but with more girls in bikinis...and less physics."
"...that doesn't curtsy to the Queen."