"Donkey: Now Shrek, for every problem there is a solution. Say, you know, those logs look kind of weak and crackly. I bet you could combo punch our way outta here! Come on, hop to it, big guy! Now that's what I call dead wood! Let's make like a tree and get inside our onion carriage! Far Far Away, here we come! Four wheels and all!"

"Shrek: Oh, yeah. Here we come alright."

"Allister: Finally our heroes came to Far Far Away. Fiona's parents were quite curious what their new son-in-law looked like. Needless to say, Shrek failed to meet the royal exceptions."

"Donkey: Man! This is taking over! Hey, if people wanted to read, they'd buy a book, alright?"

"Allister: To make a long story short, the King and Shrek sniped at each other over dinner."

"Donkey: Making Fiona all sad..."

"Allister: And suddenly, a Fairy Godmother appeared."

"Donkey: Yeah, you know what, Allister? I got it from here. She's all like, "Oh you can be beautiful again, just marry my son Prince Charming", but of course Fiona's having none of it. Why? Two words: "Sha-rek"! So what's this nasty crone do? She goes to threaten the King instead."

"Allister: And the next morning, the King invited Shrek on a hunt. But all was not as seemed."

"Donkey: I, of course, smelled a rat right away. So I figured I'd tag along, you know, just to be on the safe side."

"Donkey: Where is everybody? Man, I love hunts. This is going to be great. But, where're they all that?"

"Shrek: I'm not sure. The King said to meet him by some tree."

"Donkey: Oh! Of course, a TREE! Well, that should be easy. There are only about four million trees in the forest. In fact, I can't even SEE the forest for all these darn trees."

"Shrek: I don't know... He must be around here somewhere..."

"Donkey: Do you ever get the feeling that we're being watched? Oooh! What was that?"

"Shrek: Donkey, I seriously doubt there's anything scarier in the forest than an ogre."

"Donkey: Ogres?! Where?!"

"Shrek: Eww boy. Hello? Anybody there? I know I saw something that time. Hello out there!"

"Donkey: Okay. Yeah. Very funny. Let's scare the donkey."

"Shrek: I'm going to check it out. Keep going that way and I'll catch up with you. And if you see the King, tell him I'll be right there."

"Donkey: Okay, but don't be long, I don't want you getting scared without me. I'll just keep going now... deeper and deeper... into this dark, creepy, forest like the brave, noble Donkey that I am. (Gasps) What was that?!?!?! Ooh, look at those pumpkins. Go over to them and click your left mouse button to pick them up. Click your left mouse button again to throw them before they explode. W-what was that?"

"Roy: You made it."

"Donkey: Looks like the only way I can lower that bridge is by kicking that rope over there. Maybe I can get that guy up there to help me?"

"Guy: Hmmm. I fancy some nice fried donkey ears tonight."

"Donkey: Uhhh. Maybe not. Now, I'd say this would be a perfect time to use some love potion... Or any kind of potion come to think of it. I'm going to have to go up there and kick that rope down, potion or not. And one guy is no match for a donkey with a black belt in button mashing. There's a sparkly mushroom I can bounce on. Make me jump and then press that left mouse button while I'm in the air and I'll do a jump attack. Shrek, is that you, man? Alright. A four leaf clover. Free food? Now that's what I call a perfectly lucky and unsuspicious coincidence, seeing as how I'm too hungry and all to think very clearly right now. Mmmm..mmm! It's too bad Shrek isn't here to get some too. Oh man, this is going to hit the spot...! Aaaarghhhh! Shrek! Help! They've got me!"

"(Shrek arrives)"

"Donkey: I knew it. There's no such thing as free lunch!"

"Shrek: Uh oh. What trouble have you gotten yourself into there, Donkey?!"

"Donkey: Oh, man! Am I glad to see you!"

"Shrek: Here's one for you."

"Donkey: Help! Oh please, help me! Whew, thanks, Shrek! Must feel kind of weird to be the one saving me for a change."

"Shrek: You just need to stop thinking with your stomach, Donkey! For five little seconds?"

"Donkey: Consecutively? Oh, Shrek, you can crack me up. So where to?"

"Shrek: This way. ...Uh, Donkey? Little less towards the trap just a wee bit?"

"Donkey: ...Excellent, thank you. How am I going to get my donkey butt across the water?"

"Shrek: This is going to take some strategy."

"Donkey: Looks like a bear trap. Good thing I'm not a bear!"

"Shrek: Whoa! That's one giant pumpkin!"

"Donkey: Fight pumpkins with pumpkins, I always say."

"Shrek: Let's turn you into a pumpkin pie!"

"Donkey: Flat top mushrooms. You know, my Uncle Clarence mentioned these one time. I can still hear him like it was yesterday, "Red is bad, green is good." So I just need to jump on them when they're green!"

"Announcer: All right, contestant, race through this level and collect as many coins as you can! You're on a strict time limit so no clowning around like the rest of the game! Start the clock! And...GO!"

"Donkey: Shrek? You hear that?"

"Donkey: No. Whew. That was a close one."

"Shrek: It's quiet. Too quiet."

"Puss: En garde."

"Donkey: Oh my gosh! Shrek! HELP! It's a pirate! With a tail! And galoshes!"

"Puss: Excuse me, I'm a musketeer. My name...is Puss in Boots."

"Donkey: You are a pirate in galoshes."