First Quote Added
4月 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Marten: Dammit, how come girls are only interested in me now that I'm dating someone?!"
"Sven: A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long."
"Pintsize: What do humans typically do when they find themselves leaking an unknown substance from one of their orifices?"
"Marten: Man, I wish I'd had those kind of female acquaintances back in college."
"Faye: Sven and I are acquaintances, who occasionally happen to bump into each other. Naked. With our crotches."
"Sven: What am I supposed to say, "I'm sorry my friend is a creepy motherfucker, but will you please go out on a date with him anyway?""
"Tai: Th-that was probably just somebody's escaped tarantula. Right?"
"Faye: There once was a girl named Penelope"
"Pintsize: Human cusswords focus on mating, excretion and genitalia. Robot cusswords focus on mashing on homerow. ASDF is a four-letter word."
"Sven: "Roses are red,"
"Hannelore: As far as pathogens go, friendship is pretty okay."
"Hannelore: Really? So you're NOT all highly-trained actors being paid off by my parents to offer me the illusion of a normal social life?"
"Raven: I might not be the sharpest bulb in the box but I'm not THAT gullible."
"Faye: That's a bit... clinical for pillow talk."
"Hannelore: "Boy, that sure triggered a lot of MY dopamine receptors! Thanks for helping me trick my body into believing it fulfilled its genetic imperative!""
"Faye: Um, I guess you COULD..."
"Hannelore: I mean, do you say "thank you" or "good job" or "that was fun" or what?"
"Faye: Huh?"
"Hannelore: When you're done having, uh, sex, what do you say?"
"Hannelore: Man, good thing human females don't have venomous ovipositors, huh?"
"Faye: Are you always this smug after you ravish a lady?"
"Sven: I see flashing lights, dudes in hard hats waving flags, and about three miles of caution tape. There's a big sign that says "DETOUR - ANY OTHER FEMALE IN EXISTENCE.""
"Faye: You DO know that Hanners is off-limits, right?"
"Marten: I wonder what cymbal testers do for fun. Hihat scrimshaw? Novelty gong-craft? Or do they just go home, take twenty Advils, and listen to the soothing sounds of felt?"
"Steve: Holy shit. He's a serial killer. He has to be. NOBODY'S that perfect."
"Faye: My chest is not the Make-A-Wish Foundation!"
"Hannelore: Oh! It was a pun! I'm sorry. Daddy didn't allow puns when I was growing up."
"Marten: In Canada they have socialized asskicking. It's called "hockey.""
"Faye: And common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot NOW."
"Marten: If that's true, then wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future."
"Dora: Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past."
"Dora [to Hannelore]: Your mom should write a book "Everything I Needed to Know About Management I Learned From Watching James Bond Movies.""
"Faye: Well that's just awful. I have just the thing to cheer you up, though - a 100% genuine unicorn hair, guaranteed to grant you eternal life. Only two thousand dollars!"
"Faye: If I became physically attracted to things that irked me, the world would burst into flame from the friction of my furious humping."
"Hannelore: Can I HANDLE it? I am a cleaning NINJA. I'll make that dirt my BITCH."
"Pintsize: Mom?!"
"Faye: It could be, if the robot on top doesn't pull out in time."
"Hannelore: Hey, what are those two assembly robots doing? THAT doesn't look like part of the assembly process."
"Tai: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Especially if it's been soaked in cheap whiskey."
"Dora: I will not tolerate mutiny! Not even if chocolate is involved!"
"Faye: Screw the bar, let's get drunk and play with Hanners' suction cups!"
"Dr. Corrine: "Just go out and bang some dude" is one of the phrases you will never hear a psychiatrist say. Other such phrases include "I think the heroin is doing you a lot of good," and "Jesus, no WONDER your mother never loved you.""
"Faye: You think everybody secretly does porn."
"Tai: I dunno, bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated."
"Marten: Actually, I was fired from the morgue for juggling heads. Specifically, for juggling heads badly and making a mess on the floor."
"Penelope: He was pretty handsome for a religious leader. But then, it'd be hard NOT to look good in one of those awesome pope-hats."
"Dora: If I gotta go, I might as well go happy."
"Faye [to Dora]: Why are you grabbing my butt?"
"VespAvenger: Any last words?"
"Hannelore: Don't you try and out-creepy me, little man. My first words when I was a toddler were "thousand-yard stare"."