Questionable Content

"Marten: Appealing to Steve's libido has always been more effective than appealing to his conscience."

"Faye: Your honesty is the knife twisting in the wound that is my conscience. Also, that was the most emo thing I have ever said. Please just shoot me now before I metaphor again."

"Ellen: You know, employing the Socratic Method in the bedroom could be pretty interesting."

"Faye: When you became my friend you were automatically enrolled in the Menstrual Discussion Plan. For an additional $15.99 per month you can upgrade to the Digestive Issues Bulletin Package."

"Pintsize: Curses! I am powerless against the might of duct tape!"

"Dora: No, murder is not the answer. You always suggest that."

"Mieville: Meow."

"Dora: Yes, I realize that projecting my internal dialogue onto my cat is perhaps not the healthiest way of dealing with stressful situations."

"Pintsize: The Quakers were masters of siege warfare."

"Pintsize: I'm a performance artist, and my medium is irate ladies."

"Pintsize: When talking about the human experience, it all comes around to poopin' eventually."

"Ellen: I should just date a shower massage. They don't care about age."

"Faye: Yes! Rampaging bears are the answer to all of our cultural missteps!"

"Dora: Our culture doesn't get smarter, it just finds new ways of being retarded."

"Marten: I need to learn some new profanity, 'cause the old standards just aren't cutting it in this situation."

"Marten: I feel sexy now. All makin' ladies' panties wet from 100 yards away - a Sex Jedi!"

"Steve: Now, is a Smarmadon a type of Smarmosaur, or is it the other way around?"

"Faye: Delicious bourbon"

"Faye: If a lady's junk is quiverin', her man must be deliverin'!"

"Faye: Comparing most girls to me is like comparing Sputnik to a space-borne death laser."

"Faye: Ooh! Say that again, but do it without rolling your eyes this time."

"Marten: I live to serve your self-esteem, oh radiant goddess of utmost beauty."

"Marten: At that point you might as well just say, "do you mind? I'm kinda busy," and then go back to what you were doing, because you know it can't get any worse."

"Amanda: That was the day I learned there's no way you can remove your head from another girl's crotch in a nonchalant manner."

"Pintsize: He doesn't have to wake up, you know. I have a laser, and we have a garbage disposal."

"Faye [to Dora]: Okay, that does it. We are going to a veterinary clinic to have you spayed."

"Faye: Actually, it is a credit to your character that you would ply me with drink not to try and get some action, but to hear me say funny words and southern slang."

"Pintsize: Only sexier!"

"Marten [re: Faye and Dora]: See what I mean? They're like two wet cats fighting in a sack."

"Marten: I'm sorry, did you say something? I'm still kinda in tit-shock."

"Marten: The look on your face just now was totally worth it."

"Faye [rolling up her sleeve]: I hope you are aware that your little put-on has earned you a brutal punching."

"[Faye drops the vibrator.]"

"Marten: Oh my gosh, I think that's one of MY old vibrators! Man, that thing's probably spent over 250 hours in my ass over the years. I thought I'd never see it again when I put it up on eBay two weeks ago!"

"Marten: Okay, either I'm having my first wet dream in ten years, or Pintsize put some LSD in my Cheerios this morning."

"Marten: It was like being caught in the headlights of a landing 747. A 747 whose passengers were sexiness and rage."

"Faye: A girl has to protect her assets. Also her breastets."

"Faye: I will drink you so far under the table you will come out in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in China!"

"Faye: Don't you sass me! You will be added to the list! I can make room for one more!"

"Marten: Heh. I like how you're talking about kicking people's asses while making punching motions."

"Faye: I will kick Steve's ass at drinking the booze, I will kick Pintsize's ass at Trivial Pursuit, and I will kick Dora's ass at being a sexy thing!"

"Marten: Remind me, which of you is the evil twin of the other?"

"Dora: I'm just kidding, you ass. Faye is right, you are cute when you get flustered."

"Marten: Guh buh duh huh wha?"

"Dora: So do you just want some coffee or would you prefer a quick fuck on the counter?"

"Dora: While they are witty, your comments inch you closer to unemployment with every passing second."

"Faye: I have attained girlvana!"

"Dora: Aww, he's terrified of you. Definitely your type, Faye darling."

"Marten: I plead the Fifth."

"Dora: Marten, you'd go out with Faye, right?"