Questionable Content

"Pintsize: My first commandment is: "Thou shalt not beget electromagnetism in the presence of your Lord"."

"Marten: The only way to deal with computer salespeople is with an overwhelming preemptive strike."

"Marten: One of them is a special couch that only drunk people can see."

"Faye: Since when'd you get two couches in here?"

"Jimbo: Where I come from, we just shorten that sentence to "woo!""

"Marten: Perhaps not the wisest decision, but a good decision nonetheless!"

"Faye: Now buy me a shot of whatever hell-brew you two have been drinking and let's get this party started."

"Marten: A lesser man, a man weaker than I, might interject with a lewd or suggestive comment at this juncture."

"Marten: Yeah, except CDs don't start giggling if it takes you more than fifteen seconds."

"Steve: Kind of like taking off a girl's bra?"

"Marten: Expending all the effort to get the seal off makes the music that much more enjoyable once you get the CD out of the jewel case."

"Faye: You almost had a date! But you got dumped at the last minute in favor of an epiphany."

"Faye: I'm just gonna pretend that a roll of quarters in your pocket is what I feel poking into my hip."

"Faye: You're lucky she's not here in person. You'd have been maced for walking so close to me."

"Marten: Wow, is your mom always that concerned for your personal safety?"

"Faye [on the phone]: Hello? Oh, hey mom. Nothing much, just going out to dinner with a friend. Yes, a boy. No, it's not a date. No, I didn't bring the tazer. Mom, he's not a serial rapist, he's a nice guy. Okay I have to go. Bye mom."

"Faye: I think you would fulfill a fantasy shared by every shy, submissive boy on the planet. Hump away!"

"Sara: What do you think would happen if I just grabbed him and humped him behind the counter next time he comes in?"