First Quote Added
4月 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Pintsize: I was there for you when you didn't have any human friends! Every time you've ever been depressed, I've listened! When you and Dora broke up, I was the first person to try and make you feel better! And all I get is a FOUR?!"
"Faye: I CAN STILL HEAR YOU, ASSHOLES"
"Marten: Daaaaaaaaaang"
"Angus: Dude I hit that shit so hard the fuckin' National Endowment for the Arts gave me a grant."
"Marten: Yo dude, you finally tap that ass?"
"Angus: It's really more of a puce."
"Marten: Please tell me Faye's in the bedroom, and you're not just dancing around my apartment with nothing but a hot pink condom on."
"Angus: Who cares? I'm gonna go wrestle a bear."
"Faye: Are you always this hyperactive after sex, or am I just that good?"
"Hannelore: You had a BONER on my COUCH?!"
"Tai: This is either butterflies in my stomach or food poisoning. I really hope it's just food poisoning."
"Marigold: I fucking HATE IT in movies and TV shows where they have the nerdy weirdo girl and all they have to do is comb her hair and put on some makeup and all of a sudden she's SO BEAUTIFUL HOW DID WE EVER NOT NOTICE BEFORE. That's not how it WORKS in real life. It's BULLSHIT."
"Faye: My boobs are a powerful narcotic."
"Angus: ...And the bartender's like "well, that stool wasn't damp BEFORE you sat down, lady.""
"Angus: Ooh, ouch."
"Faye: No fictional positions. Especially ones you're not qualified for."
"Angus: Professional sexmaster."
"Faye: If you could have any job in the world, what would you be?"
"Dora: There are things lurking in my saved draft posts that would make a heartbroken 14 year old go "oh come on, that's a bit much.""
"Veronica: Honey, I married a gay man and routinely sleep with men old enough to be my children. You're asking the wrong parent."
"Marten: You don't have any opinions or useful advice for me here?"
"Dora: I TOLD YOU TO SAY I WAS IN CANADA"
"Penelope: You must be Marten's mom. She's hiding under the counter."
"Veronica: Excuse me, is Dora in?"
"Marten: That's it, I'm going back to bed."
"Sven: 'Fraid so."
"Veronica: I suppose it would be incredibly bad form for me to seduce you."
"Marten: Goddammit, you showed them the picture of me with the dildo, didn't you."
"Marten: Love you too, mom."
"Veronica: Don't worry about me, honey! I've lived a long, happy life. I wouldn't mind spending my twilight years in prison if it would make you feel better."
"Marten: What?! No!"
"Veronica: ...So, do you want me to kill Dora for you?"
"Tai: If you want a free lunch that bad, you can go forage for acorns in the park. How many angry squirrels do you think you could take in a fight?"
"Marten: Yeah, common side effects of the Worry Hat include silly appearance, headsweats, impaired hearing, and compulsive fiddling with the pom-pom."
"Faye: Right now I would like nothing more than to beat you so hard you need to eat through a straw for the rest of your life. But Marty asked me not to. You ruined a perfectly good thing for the STUPIDEST REASON POSSIBLE. You need HELP. I'm going to my therapist today, and I'm getting you a referral. And if you don't follow it up, so help me God I WILL put you in the emergency room."
"Dora: It's been wonderful, sweetie. It really has. But I think we should call it quits."
"Faye: I oughta get a warning label tattooed under my boobs or something."
"Faye: I'd refer you to my therapist but she's already said she won't work with anyone else in my social circle."
"Faye: I WILL LET YOU TOUCH MY BOOBS IF YOU'LL SHUT UP"
"Faye: Okay, here goes. First, he takes you shopping at that store with all the cute little organizational bullshit and buys you whatever you want. Then you eat at that vegan cafe that wins "Cleanest Dining in the Valley" every year. After dinner, you go back to your place, where you watch a movie about fonts he rented. When the movie ends, he turns to you, looks deep into your eyes... and offers to clean your kitchen."
"Hannelore: Can you explain how, exactly, Sven would "seduce" me?"
"Hannelore: I can only think of a couple instances where I'd throw myself at you. Maybe if a bus was coming at us or something."
"Sven: You have my word that if she somehow MAGICALLY overcomes her crippling anxieties and throws herself at me, I'll say no."
"Dora: To be fair, you weren't wearing a bra, either."
"Faye: I thought our entire social circle was going to implode all 'cause I didn't put on some goddamn PANTS."
"Pintsize: LESS TALKING, MORE HOT MAKE-UP SEX"
"Marten: What is with everyone tonight? Is it some kinda fuckin' angst solstice?"
"Sven: Actually, you should probably keep them away from me. See ya."
"[beat panel]"
"Sven: Oh hey, if you know any cute single girls..."