"We came up with White Castle because it has a history of being a place where intoxicated people go at the end of the night. But then we did see it as a sort of metaphor. It’s about the burgers, but it’s more than just the burgers."

"Shaun Majumder as Saikat Patel"

"Neil Patrick Harris as himself"

"Malin Akerman as Liane"

"Christopher Meloni as Freakshow"

"Boyd Banks as E.R. Patient"

"Ryan Reynolds as Male Nurse"

"Bobby Lee as Kenneth Park"

"Siu Ta as Cindy Kim"

"Anthony Anderson as Burger Shack Employee"

"Eddie Kaye Thomas as Rosenberg"

"David Krumholtz as Goldstein"

"Paula Garcés as Maria"

"Dan Bochart as Extreme Sports Punk #1"

"Steve Braun as Cole"

"Kal Penn as Kumar Patel"

"Fred Willard as Dr. Willoughby"

"Rob Tinkler as J.D."

"Ethan Embry as Billy Carver"

"Palumbo: [upon being arrested for brutality and racism] I'm not a [bleep] racist, all right? You mother [bleep]. Those black mother [bleep] won't get away with this, a'right?! So, [bleep] falls to all y'all! Okay?! So you can suck my [bleep]!"

"Anchor: Police in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, have just arrested a gang of hooligans who are suspected of terrorizing numerous strip malls and convenience stores. Officer Thurmond Brucks found their abandoned car, which contained a large bag of marijuana. And in other news, the Muckleburg police department are still looking for a fugitive who escaped from the police station last night with a companion believed to be his accomplice. Police have released sketches of the two fugitives which they believe to be extremely accurate."

"Did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?"

"[about to ride cheetah] This is either a really smart move or by far the stupidest thing that we have ever tried."

"[to Maria in elevator, after seeing luggage at her feet] Sure got a lotta baggage."

"[last line before the credits] Hey, Roldy, you do realize what's legal in Amsterdam, don't you?"

"[to Harold, about Cindy] So she's kinda fucking cute. Let her touch your penis."

"Judge Reinhold — Elmo Blum"

"Timothy Busfield — Mortar Soldier"

"Robert J. Wilke — General Barnicke"

"Joe Flaherty — Border Guard"

"John Voldstad — Stillman's Aide"

"Lance LeGault — Colonel Glass"

"Roberta Leighton — Anita, Winger's ex-girlfriend"

"[breaking up a fight] Cut it out! Cut it out! Cut it out! The hell's the matter with you?! Stupid! We're all very different people. We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans. We're Americans, with a capital 'A', huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're mutts! Here's proof: his nose is cold! But there's no animal that's more faithful, that's more loyal, more loveable than the mutt. Who saw Old Yeller? Who cried when Old Yeller got shot at the end? [raises his hand] Nobody cried when Old Yeller got shot? I'm sure. [hands are reluctantly raised] I cried my eyes out. [even more hands go up] So we're all dogfaces. We're all very, very different, but there is one thing that we all have in common: we were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army. We're mutants. There's something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us! We're soldiers, but we're American soldiers! We've been kickin' ass for 200 years! We're 10 and 1! Now we don't have to worry about whether or not we practiced. We don't have to worry about whether Captain Stillman wants to have us hung. All we have to do is to be the great American fighting soldier that is inside each one of us. Now do what I do, and say what I say. And make me proud. Fall in!"

"[at Czech border crossing, holding map pretending to be lost tourist, talking to Czech soldiers] We're so goddamn lost. Where the hell is Innsbruck, Austria?"

"I've always been kind of a pacifist. When I was a kid, my father told me, "Never hit anyone in anger, unless you're absolutely sure you can get away with it." I don't know what kind of soldier I'm gonna make, but I want you guys to know that if we ever get into real heavy combat... I'll be right behind you guys. Every step of the way."

"[after stepping off the bus] Boy, I hope this is the mess hall. [looks at Captain Stillman] How’s it goin’ Eisenhower?"

"The story of a man who wanted to keep the world safe for democracy...and meet girls."

"Bill Murray — John Winger"

"Harold Ramis — Russell Ziskey"

"Conrad Dunn — Francis "Psycho" Soyer"

"Warren Oates — Sgt. Hulka"

"John Candy — Dewey "Ox" Oxberger"