Bbc Shows

"Rory Bremner: [as Bob Dylan] "Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me...""

"Miles Jupp: "Girl, you really got me now...""

"Barry Cryer: "The Noise Abatement Society - ...""

"Pippa Evans: "Once I had a love and it was a gas, soon turned out had a...""

"John Finnemore: "Yellow Pages - In case the internet stops existing.""

"Caroline Quentin: "Apple - Think different. Think ungramattical.""

"Pippa Evans: "Grt your motor runnin', head out on the highway...""

"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "Andrex - Shit happens.""

"John Finnemore: "Ryanair - You knew what you were getting into!""

"John Finnemore: "Prosecco - For those special occasions that aren't that special.""

"Barry Cryer: "Durex - In your wallet for years.""

"Miles Jupp: "McDonald's - We have toilets!""

"Miles Jupp: "Round, round, get around, I get around yeah, get around, woah, I get around...""

"Jack Dee: "A dreadful habit of young Mart's was lighting his and others' farts...""

"Jack Dee: "Young James thought it would be a lark, to ride upon a great white shark...""

"Barry Cryer: "The Milk Marketing Board - A glass of milk... in every glass.""

"Jack Dee: "A wicked habit of young Bill's, was rifling through his father's pills...""

"Jack Dee: "Without permission, stupid Jake went skating on a frozen lake...""

"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "Southern or Northern Rail - We're not happy 'til you're not happy.""

"Jack Dee: "Poor Mrs. Wilhelmina Binns was knackered giving birth to quins...""

"Jack Dee: "Daisy Pugh and husband Gus, spiced up their sex life on the bus...""

"Jack Dee: "Despite the warnings, naughty Mya climbed right inside the tumble dryer...""

"Miles Jupp: "Disneyland - Because if you don't take them, they will never shut up!""

"Jack Dee: "A stubborn boy whose name was Norm, flew his kite in a lightning storm...""

"Pippa Evans: "If you see our favourite sign at the sign of the road, it says '15 miles to the LOOOOVE SHAAACK'...""

"Jack Dee: "The infant Mike had such bad genes, he lived on top shelf magazines...""

"Jack Dee: "'I see dead people!' claimed young Cole, which made his mother drop her bowl...""

"Jack Dee: "'I think I shall try six', said Fred, 'electric blankets on my bed'...""

"Jack Dee: "A naughty little lad called Dave would hide inside the microwave...""

"Jack Dee: "Young Nigel earned a stern reproof for doing cartwheels on the roof...""

"Jack Dee: "'Do not put', his mum told Ted, 'that plastic bag upon your head'...""

"Jack Dee: "Though often warned, a boy called Rex still tampered with electric flex...""

"Jack Dee: "Belinda made her parents vexed for all she ever did was text...""

"Jack Dee: "One day a small girl called Sophia climbed right inside the tumble dryer...""

"Jack Dee: "In spite of warnings, little Stu would taunt the lions in the zoo...""

"Gary Delaney: "Next on BBC Two, Dara Ó Briain is back as the host of the quickfire topical panel show for Chinese cannibals who eat the shy. It's Wok the Meek. ...if you could hear the footsteps going all round the houses to get to that one!""

"Jack Dee: "Despite the warnings, naughty Sue would feed the monkeys in the zoo...""

"Pippa Evans: "I gotta feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night...""

"Pippa Evans: "On ITV at eight o'clock, mystery guests sing songs while wearing elaborate masks, before a celebrity jury attempts to guess which is the least attractive. That's The Masked Minger at eight o'clock.""

"Rory Bremner: "Later on Radio 4, a new series in which Kirsty Lang travels to each region of the UK in an attempt to find the country's finest sperm bank. That's Round Britain Jizz, this Friday at 11.30.""

"Tony Hawks: "Next on ITV a new game show, giving contestants a chance to win an any of an amazing selection of panty liners. That's The Sale of the Sanitary, next.""

"Tony Hawks: "Coming up next on BBC One, the crime drama set on a well-known Scottish archipelago, now sadly polluted by sewage discharge. That's Shitland, tonight at nine.""

"Gary Delaney: "Coming up next, it's the crossover you never knew you needed - Ocean's Eleven meets Radio 4, but controversy strikes as the charismatic lead is replaced by Jack Dee in I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clooney.""

"Gary Delaney: "Coming up next, Chris Hemsworth is back in the Marvel crossover that's also a sequel to Frozen - Thaw.""

"Tony Hawks: "A fantasy epic on BBC now, with a tale spanning multiple worlds, in which a threatening godlike figure suffers several bouts of sexually transmitted infections. That's His Dark Venereals on BBC Three.""

"Stephen Fry: "Meanwhile on BBC One, Charlie Dimmock takes command of a squad of Coldstream Guards as they completely returf an entire rugby pitch in time for their crunch match against the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders. That's Sod This for a Game of Soldiers.""

"Jack Dee: "With stick in hand, naughty Denise approached a peaceful swarm of bees...""

"Pippa Evans: "At 7pm tonight, tiny insects discuss fashion accessories. That's Fleabag on BBC Two"."

"Miles Jupp: "Later tonight on the BBC at 9 o'clock, a documentary about the time that Parliament was disrupted by a runaway elk that turned out to be promiscuous. That is There's a Moose Loose About This Hoose.""

"Stephen Fry: "Later on Radio 4 we explore a prominent psychologist's take on the phallic nature of London's tallest building. That's Shard and Freud, later on Radio 4.""