"[singing] Tiny salmon swimming in a stream / Tiny salmon chasing that impossible dream / The mynah bird says, "Caw. C…"

"Austin? Austin, Massachusetts?"

"You're already cheating! Anytime you pass up sex, you're cheating on yourself. Think about it Josh, you're in college…"

"Yep. I'd give us about 20 minutes before our first ass-raping."

"Did you kill a cheetah?"

"Hey, it's 10 feet. Bob Hope could jump this in his golf cart. See, watch, I can spit across it."

"Did I say two fingers? Better make that three."

"Barry, hit the lights. It's boner time!"

"Corky the Dog: Hey, Old man... I got the fuckin' munchies real bad... what about you?"

"[attempts to convince the snake to eat a mouse] Unleash the fury!"