"[Opens a flask in before courtroom judge] Your honor, I still got a pretty good jump shot. Let me show you. [He takes…"

"[Referring to Christmas/Hanukkah holidays] It ain't a better time of year. You got no school, you can eat like a pig,…"

"[To Whitey after toppling the port-a-pottie with him in it down a hill] Smell ya later, poopsicle."

"[To Whitey, after his trailer has been destroyed] I should stick you on a twig and roast you!"

"[Davey comes over to see a disgusting sight: Whitey’s butt cheeks are covered with white, furry hair as Whitey puts a…"

"[Referring to obese boy on basketball court] Foul on this kid, for eating everything in sight. Jelly-jugs, the next t…"

"[To Whitey] You actually give a crap about winning a patch?"

"[To the mayor sarcastically thanking him for destroying the ice sculpture] I didn't do it for you. [Does air plank li…"

"Good night, mayor! And the answer to your question is Spencer's gifts. They definitely have furry underwear!"

"JENNIFER! JENNIFER! What's the matter with the way I live my life?! Huh, Jennifer?! Where are you?! At home, reading …"