hanukkah-films

"[Referring to Christmas/Hanukkah holidays] It ain't a better time of year. You got no school, you can eat like a pig, and people give you stuff. Kind of makes you feel all tingly inside, doesn't it? But you know what? There are some buffoons out there who actually can't stand the holiday season. And seeing other people enjoy the festivities... gets them even more disgusted. In fact, the head honcho of holiday humbug... lives right here in little old dukesberry. His name's Davey Stone. That fool's in the China dragon... coming up with his own way of feeling tingly all over. At one time, Davey was a super student, super athlete... super sweet, super kid and the apple of his parents' eye. Now, he's just a 33-year-old, crazy Jewish guy... who lives for making this town as miserable as he is... especially on the first night of Hanukkah. How'd he end up this way? Let's save that for later... because right now, Davey's about to get himself into some serious trouble."

"[To Whitey after toppling the port-a-pottie with him in it down a hill] Smell ya later, poopsicle."

"[To Whitey, after his trailer has been destroyed] I should stick you on a twig and roast you!"

"[Davey comes over to see a disgusting sight: Whitey’s butt cheeks are covered with white, furry hair as Whitey puts a jock strap on] Ugh! Jeezum crow! Did I just see two Persian cats on your ass? I think I’m gonna [sustains a burp] BA...RF...!"

"JENNIFER! JENNIFER! What's the matter with the way I live my life?! Huh, Jennifer?! Where are you?! At home, reading your baby boy a bedtime story, while he sucks his thumb and goes pee-pee on his blanket?! AW, HORSESHIT!"

"[Opens a flask in before courtroom judge] Your honor, I still got a pretty good jump shot. Let me show you. [He takes a drink of whiskey, and then jumps very quickly, and not very far, then court spectators all disapprovingly shake their heads] I’d hit a three-pointer, except I’d have to drop my pants and pop a thumb up my boo-boo."

"[Referring to obese boy on basketball court] Foul on this kid, for eating everything in sight. Jelly-jugs, the next time you come onto my court, you better wear a bra, okay?"

"[To Whitey] You actually give a crap about winning a patch?"

"[To the mayor sarcastically thanking him for destroying the ice sculpture] I didn't do it for you. [Does air plank lifting gestures] I did it for the ladies. [Women walking by respond incredulously]"

"Good night, mayor! And the answer to your question is Spencer's gifts. They definitely have furry underwear!"

"Technical foul! Technical foul!"

"[To Davey who rejects living with Whitey after his trailer is ablaze] What other options do you got, Rockefeller?!"

"[In a seizure at the end of the film] This is the happiest seizure of my life."

"[When Davey obnoxiously burps in his face] Your horn works, try the lights!"

"[Thinks Davey is holding their house up] Mister, if you're gonna kill us, will you take off your wet shoes? You're soaking the carpet."

"[When recognition ceremony banquet guests recount abusing Whitey] How could you all be so mean to Whitey? Sound to me like you are all on crack!"

"[To obese boy trying on a bra] Aren't you a boy? [Obese boy runs out sobbing]"

"It's naughty. It's nice. It's animated."

"The Ultimate Battle Between Naughty And Nice."

"Adam Sandler - Davey Stone/Whitey Duvall/Eleanore Duvall"

"Jackie Titone (Alison Krauss, singing) - Jennifer Friedman"

"Austin Scout - Benjamin Friedman"

"Allen Covert - Old lady / Bus driver / Mayor's wife"

"Rob Schneider - Narrator / Mr. Chang"

"Kevin Nealon - Mayor Dewey"

"Norm Crosby - Judge"

"Jon Lovitz - Tom Baltezor"

"Richard Page (singing) - Davey's dad"

"Ann Wilson (singing) - Davey's mom"

"Dylan and Cole Sprouse - KB Toys soldiers"

"Tyra Banks - Victoria's Secret gown"

"Blake Clark - RadioShack walkie-talkie"

"Peter Dante - Foot Locker guy"

"Ellen Albertini Dow - See's Candies box"

"Kevin Farley - Panda Express panda"

"Lari Friedman - The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf Cup"

"Tom Kenny - The Sharper Image chair"

"Carl Weathers - GNC bottle"