"CAUTION: This film contains images and themes such as primates sipping herb, scantily clad women, scantily clad geriatrics, metal legs, sweet car beds, and a lot of dorks playing videogames. If any of these things "spark" your interest, we should definitely hang out this weekend. Enjoy the movie."

"Sex. Drugs. Nakedness. Rude language... And proud of it!"

"Gamers, grannies and stoners unite!"

"Linda Cardellini - Samantha"

"Allen Covert - Alex"

"Peter Dante - Dante"

"Shirley Jones - Grace"

"Shirley Knight - Bea"

"Joel Moore - J.P."

"Kevin Nealon - Mr. Cheezle"

"Doris Roberts - Grandma Lilly"

"Nick Swardson - Jeff"

"Jonah Hill - Barry"

"Kelvin Yu - Kane"

"Rob Schneider - Yuri"

"David Spade - Shiloh"

"Enhancement Smoker: You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on weed? Oh, there's some weird shit in there, man. There's a dude sittin' in the bushes, man, does he have a gun? I dunno, man, I dunno! Wha, wha? RED TEAM GO, RED TEAM GO. It's just some weird shit, man!"

"Brian: Get some...sour cream and onion chips, with some dip, man. Some beef jerkey, some peanut butter. Get some Hagen-Dagz ice-cream bars. A whole lotta of chocolate. Gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, pink popcorn. GRAHAM CRACKERS!!! Graham crackers with the marshmallows. Little marshmallows with little chocolate bars and we'll make some s'mores man. Celery, grape jelly, Captain Crunch with the little crunch berries, pizzas, we need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, water, a whole lotta water and.......Funyuns."

"Kenny: Ya hear that? I'm somebody's bitch!"

"Sir-Smoke-Alot: I'm impotent, man! Get away from me, bitch!"

"Sir-Smoke-Alot: I want to talk to Samson! Fly me to the moon like that bitch Alice Kramden! 'Cause it's hard being black and gifted. Sometimes I just wanna throw it all down and get lifted!"

"Nasty Nate: So the next time I come for you, I'm gonna want some cocktail...FRUIT!"

"Ahhhh this motherfucker said ice cream, B!"

"[To each of his fellow burger employees] Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, [To the old lady customer] you're cool, [the old lady gives a thumb-up] and fuck you, I'm out!"

"I'm right behind you. Turn around and ask me for a heffer with cheese, yo. Why you gotta make me feel inferior cause I'm on the grill, B? Damn!"

"Abba Zabba....You're my only friend"

"Let me tell you something: I love weed. I love it! But not as much as I love pussy!"

"I, myself, am a master of the custodial arts..or a janitor if you wanna be a dick about it."

"I got some booty, I got some booty!"

"You guys smoke ENTIRELY too much reefer."

"I'm sexy... I'm a scholar... people like me"

"[Thurgood when finished with work] Free!!"

"Sir-Smoke-Alot: Doctor says I need a back-iotomy!"

"Brian: Don't worry. Don't worry. l'm not gonna do what everyone thinks l'm gonna do: Flip out, man! All l wanna know is: who's comin' with me? Who's comin', man? Who's comin' with me?"

"A comedy about best buds!"

"Warning: this movie may cause the munchies, cotton mouth, and memory loss!"

"They'll do anything to save their best bud."

"Kenny's Sweet Virgin ASS!"

"Abracadabra? That`s the newest slang, all the kids are saying it! Abracadabra my nigga!"

"Brian O'Halloran as Dante Hicks"

"Chris Rock as Chaka Luther King"

"Matt Damon as Himself"

"Ben Affleck as Holden McNeil / Himself"

"Jennifer Schwalbach Smith as Missy"