Stoner Films

"Ooh, dinner time. Oh, Fuck! Damn! Cocksucking fucker ass fuck! Ohhh! Goddamn it!"

"Do you need a stuffed animal? I have a dog. I think I have a bear. Yeah, I have a bear."

"I can't believe you came on my mom. You might be the biggest perv in the world right now."

"You were a dirty old whore."

"My roommates said they'd get me rims for christmas. And a CB Radio so I can talk to other car beds."

"I'll run over your attitude. It sucks."

"Line up, you fuckin' nerds. Who wants a shot at the champ?!"

"Hi, I'm Jeff. I have a bush too. it's not grey."

"What's goin' on, shitlips?"

"What's up, Douche Bigalow?"

"You're dead to me, over."

"[sigh] I shoulda' worn a condom."

"That's great, Bobby, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution, so, you're dumb."

"Nice karma, Guy-Blow."

"I have to pee out of my ass."

"Wassup, Silver Fox?"

"Oh, I started a fight club."

"Your shit's weak! Shit's weak! Wizzeak!"

"[To JP as he passes by] Hey look, it's Bono's brother!"

"[Mimicking J.P.] My name is JP. I am a robot. I like robots. I have a robot vagina."

"Let's do it. The levels, I mean, not sex."

"What does "high score" mean? "New high score." Is that bad? What does that mean? Did I break it?"

"That's cool...if you wanna be sober and vomit."

"Dude, jerking off on my mom is one thing, but doing your grandmother and her two roommates? That's like, legendary!"

"Do you have bathrooms here or do I have to shit in a plant?"

"Okay, so who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era? Yeah, put your hands up for that one. This chick's pussy smelled like the Great Depression."

"Dude, we were just kidding, JP. [mimicking JP's Robot voice] Don't be mad at us!"

"Hey Samantha, don't take the red pill!"

"Let's fucking rage!"

"Who wants to hear about my blowjob from the World War? Yeah... [news anchor voice] "A little Hiroshima on my balls.""

"Who wants to know what Jackie Gleason's balls tasted like? Yes, cornbread."

"Fruitcup? Nice. Way to go, Mom!"

"Hello? ...Cool. I hope it's a naked dude with a boner."

"I love my turtle."

"[robot voice] Adiós, turd nuggets."

"Oh, yeah... Careful is my middle name, heh. Actually, it's not, it's Philip. [sobs]"

"How can he see me?"

"But underneath this genius...I'm simply a human. You know. But I'm working on that."

"Does it scare you, Kain?"

"It's the future of gaming."

"You would if you had robot ears."

"I want to get you a black cobra just to go around the neck..."

"[robot voice] I hate your face!"

"[robot voice] I am not amused."

"[robot voice] Please sit on my face."

"[robot voice] I want you to drink from my man faucet."

"[robot voice] Must ingest more fuel."

"[when Alex asks him how his game is going that he is developing] People will bow to it."

"[robot voice, in dismay] SAMANTHA is fucking ALEX!"

"You will never have metal legs."