"Welshman: IF I AM A PILGRIM TO GOMORRAH, THEN I AM A PILGRIM TO GOMORRAH, BUT JUDGE ME NOT 'TIL YE ALSO HAVE SURRENDERED TO THE BLADE OF ECSTASY THAT IS THE NACHO CHIP!"

"Ramses: Now, I don't ever want to see you again unless it's in a coffin"

"Ray: HEY! Don't you do cocaine at ME, you son of a bitch!"

"Cornelius: I have a sneaking suspicion you take your alarmist medical parameters from the same commercial insurance literature that classifies Elijah Wood as morbidly obese."

"Ray: YOU WANT TO BE NINETEEN?! GO AHEAD!"

"Ray: You know me, dude. I'm straighter than John Wayne voting for Reagan on a horse. Somebody says I'm gay, I'll just sit here bein' straight, and they'll be wrong."

"Ray: Emeril food! Now! Why come ain't nobody stuffing a lasagna inside a turkey? Where's the butter? Put butter on what I said!"

"Pat: Teodor! Did you know it takes three acres of grain to produce one pound of beef?"

"Beef: I wonder if there's a college study that shows how exposing my generation to Three's Company set gender relations back approximately 715 years"

"Beef: We cracked into a case of Blue Nun Widemouths at like 3 AM last night"

"Beef: OH I AM YOUR MOM AND I JUST TOOK YOU TO SCHOOL IN THE CAR OF PAIN"

"Pat: What's it like to...what's it like to kill someone, Pete?"

"Ray: But Pat, The Cure is silly! It is silly to like The Cure!"

"Nightlife: Whoah, don't get any ideas, muchacho amigo. My foie gras looks like a damn Brillo pad."

"Teodor: He'd murder dead things if science would let him."

"The outcome, however, does not have the effect she intended. The killer is wounded more than her victim."

"Bruised and bleeding, Nick is brought before his former "friend." For the first time he sees her for what she truly is. The Empress offers him wealth and power beyond measure for info on the rebels. But it is too late. The betrayer has been betrayed. No one knows exactly what is said... they had formed a strange bond... but the outcome is without question. The betrayer does not wish to be beaten at her own game."

"Empress Trudy: I can't believe I was ever so dense..."

"He may be the luckiest goofball secret agent, but he's our goofball secret agent. We love him because he deserves it, and we miss him."

"If I can't laugh at myself, what good am I?"

"I need to take this to a higher court... like the court of public opinion."

"Teodor: Philippe is standing on it."

"Philippe: Lie Bot, what is the saddest thing?"

"Ray: EVERYBODY DANCE LIKE THERE'S ASS IN YOUR PANTS! ASS IN YOUR PANTS, ASS IN YOUR PANTS!"

"Ray: Dang, Beef! This ain't no regular hangover! This is the big one! I...I'm talkin' physical therapy! Wheelchairs and stuff! Speakin' at high schools!"

"Note to consumers: 68% of "McAfrica" pita sandwiches test positive for HIV."

"Robert Johnson: You are a hoot and a holler Ray Smuckles"

"Beef: Hey there Jackie D"

"Pat: Mexican people take too long gettin' in and out of cars!"

"Dr. Akhilesh Sehgal: A book I can replace, but the soul of a friend is far more precious. If you read it, you will find that if even thieves, murderers, liars, prostitutes, cowards, and cheats can find grace from God, then so can you."

"First rule of hacking, twerp: There's always a better hacker out there than YOU."

"It's sweet that you've been sneaking around on this, but I've known for a long time that you were going to ask. I've also known for a long time what your answer would be, and it's always been the same... Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes."

"Exoneration makes fewer headlines than convictions, so I may not be cleared in the court of public opinion..."

"Yet for some reason, he stood fast and unflinching, no fear, no concern... just grim determination. Did he know something I didn't? Something about Trudy that even she did not know?"

"If my sacrifice, be it my time, resources, or life spares one life to make its mark, then my life has been worthwhile."

"You two did not have nakoudo. You met here, in America and you fell in love. You didn't let your differences stand between your love. If Japanese and Chinese can find happiness, then why not Asian and American?"

"I have never believed in fate. Providence is only the capital of Rhode Island."

"The Inexplicable Speck: If one person can make a difference, and that one person has to be me, then I'll do whatever I can to make things right. It's bought me a lot of enemies, on both sides of the law, but I'd rather be called a vigilante than watch innocent bystanders get hurt."

"Ray: Oh god oh shit oh no! Fuck man, why they got to do a thing?"

"I can't love someone I can't trust, but I can forgive you and ask you to turn yourself in. I'm sorry."

"I always cook best with plastic utensils."

"Ray: I have Airwolf. I'm just seein' if there's anything I can do to help my guys."

"As for your emperor, I'm sure that some of his prisoners are foul, unpardonable souls, but I would not wish his form of justice on anyone. He kills to terrorize others than the victim, making that death senseless. Where I come from, that's a sign of a madman. My world's had more than it's(sic) own share of those, and it's far from comforting to see in him what I were capable of had I made those choices."

"Little Nephew: You're going to send me to get my ass kicked by a guy who trained himself to be a Marine by jumping off his roof onto a trampoline, aren't you?"

"Ray: Jesus Christ, already! I'm afraid to buy a new dish sponge 'cause I might win a phone call from INXS! Man, I ain't got nothin' to say to those guys!"

"Drive Harder!"

"I got invited to a Hollywood coke party. Want to come?"