Webcomics

"Sam: THAT'S WHAT I SAID"

"Claire: I have no idea what they're getting up to, but if it results in more gift baskets I have no complaints."

"Brun: That's what Renee does when she sleeps with someone."

"Bubbles: Oh dear, those are permanent clips. I will fetch the bolt-cutters and a torch to cauterize the stump."

"Brun: You're a good person, Millefeuille."

"Marten: My main concern is that I wouldn't want internet weirdos saying messed-up shit about you."

"Sam: What are we doing today? Replacing someone's head? Fixing a smashed-up leg? Will you show me how to use the concrete saw?"

"Hannelore [on the phone]: Hello, Faye? Hannelore. Winslow says he was licked by a reindeer and saw an invisible emu and I think he's hallucinating. Can I bring him in? You believe him? You need to get outside your shop right this second, there must be a carbon monoxide leak. I'm calling the fire department."

"Yay: Are all romantic relationships this fraught, or are you particularly stupid?"

"Roko: No, you're right. I should really read my freakin' manual."

"[Marten and Claire kiss.]"

"Angus: This is my dream. Can't you just be happy for me?"

"Clinton [off Claire's horrified expression]: What? I said thanks!"

"Claire: Just... just gimme a minute for the Ativan to kick in."

"Marten: I like you, and I think you like me, and I want to see where this takes us."

"Faye: I thought I could."

"Clinton [to Marten]: Thanks for being a gentleman about my stupid sister cuddling you."

"Cosette: What was her name?"

"Marten: Hang on, hang on, I know I know this."

"Clinton: Well yeah, but you never know -"

"Hannelore: Marigold you are my friend but if we lived together I would literally murder you."

"Claire: You never know if you're gonna get hit by a bus one day. But that doesn't mean you can't ever leave your house, it means you should look both ways when you cross the street."

"Marten: Has it kicked in yet?"

"Cosette: Uh huh."

"Marigold: STOP DANGING AT ME"

"Delilah: Last night was a lot of fun, Mark. But let's not try to turn this into something it isn't."

"Marten: Sure, right."

"Faye: As long as you can make rent. Otherwise I'm harvesting one of your kidneys."

"Clinton: Dammit, my hand is stuck in murder-mode. Let's go to the grocery store, I need to find something trachea-like for it to crush."

"Marten: So, uh, can I get your number or something?"

"Marten: She didn't even get my name right."

"Hannelore: I am just feverish enough that this seems plausible."

"Claire: You ever wanna just sit and stare at a wall for, like, three hours?"

"Delilah: Wow, you're either the chillest dude ever or a gigantic pushover."

"Angus: This is a trap, isn't it. Emily's luring us into the woods so she can hunt us for sport."

"Steve: Aw, that sucks bro."

"Dora: Go home, Faye. You're fired."

"Marigold: No, I'm serious! Spaghetti-Os and Mountain Dew and you'll be totally better!"

"Claire: I felt safe at the wedding and I trust Marten. So I don't think getting drunk was a giant risk."

"Marten: Bit of both."

"Momo: Companion AIs are the ambassadors of our kind. We foster understanding and acceptance between humans and AIs. I cannot think of a more noble calling."

"Emily [grabbing and hugging Claire]: OH MY GOSH YOU'RE SO COOL"

"Tai: I'm sorry, is it weird to come to you for dating advice about your ex-girlfriend?"

"Claire: It's... peaty? Is that the right word? But there's also some vanilla and caramel in there. And maybe a hint of... old leather? That's weird. Last night it just tasted like horrible burning."

"Claire: So where are you guys honeymooning?"

"Claire: So, um, are you okay with the fact that I'm tran -"

"Marten: Dunno. Every other aspect of my life has thrown off my weirdness calibration."

"Marten: Fuck yeah, two dads!"

"Momo: Dale's efforts to avoid eye contact did not extend to Marigold's chest, and she had a similar response to his bottom when he got up to use the bathroom."

"Marten: Yup, they're totally gonna bang."