Webcomics

"Sam: My dad wants me to get a job this summer and I was hoping I could work here."

"May: Good lord. Stick you in a humanoid body and you fall in love with the first cute robot you see."

"May: I was bein' metaphorical, but if you actually tried I wanna hear all about it."

"Faye: I mean, you're already doing sprays here. Doesn't that count?"

"Winslow [re: Roko]: She's an angel..."

"Dora: Exactly. I'm full up."

"Winslow: I've been all around the world and this is still the weirdest town I've ever seen."

"Faye: Right?"

"Hannelore: I'm a fucked-up twentysomething. All your friends are fucked-up twentysomethings."

"Sven: I'll keep that in mind when I get my next royalty check for "Did My Wife Leave Me Or Is She Wearin' Realtree"."

"Hannelore: Um... sorry for bringing it up right away, but... is my position here at the shop still open?"

"May: Ain't my place to tell you what to do."

"Dora: Oh yeah, of course! I had some people ask about jobs while you were away, but they were all fucked-up twentysomethings."

"Sam: Dad says "drawing skulls on robots isn't going to look good on a resume.""

"Hannelore: Hellooooo!"

"Winslow: Really? Because you've told me to go fuck myself on multiple occasions."

"Dora: Oh my god, Hannelore? Are you back?!"

"Hannelore: Yes!"

"Aurelia: In case they didn't bring one. It has to be a fair fight."

"Winslow: You did unspeakable things to a human man using a watermelon. You have no right to judge."

"Marten: What happens if [Cosmo's] original owners show up like "sorry it took us so long, can we have her back?""

"Aurelia: Legally, I'm her owner now. And I keep two baseball bats in the closet."

"Marten: Why two baseball bats?"

"Melon: That's me! The hole was a lava accident!"

"[Hannelore hugs Dora.]"

"Spookybot: Actually, it was two billion dollars--"

"Roko: AAAAAAA"

"Bubbles: Even better. I have a special tool, specifically for you."

"Roko: Wanna meet my pal Melon?"

"Roko: I spent all day trying to make one person's life a little better and I don't even know if it's gonna work, but at least I feel good for trying. Then you waltz in and give away a billion dollars-- which you probably stole in the first place-- because you think it's funny? And you expect me to be happy? Happy that the absolute best I can do is nothing compared to what a rich person can do if the fucking mood strikes them?"

"Spookybot: We have just been offered a children's hospital wing named after us. How cute! Pity we don't have a name."

"Veronica: She's going to have one hell of a "what I did on my summer vacation" presentation."

"Roko: What is wrong with you?!"

"Spookybot: Are they the face we see peering at us through the hole in your ceiling?"

"Spookybot: Pardon?"

"Marten: My main concern is that I wouldn't want internet weirdos saying messed-up shit about you."

"Dora [pulling out her kris dagger]: Wait a minute. The real Hannelore would never have hugged me hello."

"May: I said no such thing."

"Roko: You're a horrible little goblin, but horrible little goblins need friends too."

"May: I jacked off a dude with a watermelon last night."

"Roko: Oh, did you want your case handled in an endearingly incompetent fashion? Because we can turn around--"

"May: Just to be clear, I'm putting my ass in your hands, not hers."

"Roko: I'm not sure she'd be able to find it with both hands anyway."

"Dora: Have you ever tried writing something good?"

"May [re: Beepatrice]: I thought you said she was your boss."

"Roko: She means well."

"Momo: You're being very reasonable. Did you meet up with Sven for further carnal activity? Is this calm due to a post-coital refractory period?"

"Sven: The fire got out of control and burned down her barn. She said it was still worth it."

"May: Actually I'm a great liar, you're just extremely perceptive, and now I'm complimenting you which wasn't what I intended when I started talking so I'm gonna shut up now."

"Bubbles: Hello, Momo. Is something the matter?"