"I invented this gag, Rabbit! Only in my day, the rookie got naked! [Fires the pistol he is holding at a State Police cruiser, shattering a window] And we also used blanks... You're a sick motherfucker, Mac."

"[About Farva, realizing he has betrayed O'Hagen and the others] We shoulda took him out back and shot him a long time ago."

"Of *course* they started the fight! Now they've taken a jurisdictional grievance against us! I mean a murder on the highway! And you give them the investigation! Christ! We look like a bunch of pussies!"

"I scratched your back, Bruce! I scratched it good and hard! Now either you scratch my back, or you get my size ten boot up your ass!"

"YOU BOYS LIKE MEX-E-CO?!?! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"[A repeated, sarcastic line, often said with an Irish accent] I'll believe that when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet."

"Let me guess- you just humped the mayor's wife and burned down city hall."

"Sorry about that, Bruce. These boys get that syrup in 'em, they get all antsy in their pantsy."

"Alright, who wants a moustache ride?"

"[Messing around with a photo on the station computer] Enhance... Enhance... Enhance..."

"What? They can't lump us in with that fuckin' Martian."

"I am all that is MAN!"

"'Some male figure'? I'm his dad!"

"[Deep voice] Mother of God."

"Canada, eh? Almost made it."

"What, are you gonna light my ass on fire?"

"[After Thorny says, "You smell somethin', Rabbit?"] *Sniffs* Fear."

"You are freakin' out....man."

"Oh, biker... I'm an idiot. [when Foster realizes that he misunderstood Ursula's disguise suggestion and dressed as a bicyclist]"

"What size cells are these? Eight by eight? Ours are nine by nine... no big deal."

"[cross-eyed and with slight lisp] Do we look like the two dumbest guys in the world to you? Is that why you treat us with such disrespect?"

"I gotta bust criminals! It's what I gotta do!"

"I'll take six schlitzes... or whatever's free."

"I just lost a buck... to myself!"

"I don't want a large Farva. I want a goddamn liter o' cola!"

"Liter is French for give me some fuckin' cola or I'll break vous's fuckin' lip!"

"[refusing Captain Grady's bribe] I'm all highway."

"I guess that's it for the old locker. She stinks like ass but I'll still miss her. I guess you could say that about all my girls."

"Do what? GO FUCK YOUR SELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!"