Spoof Films

"David Carradine - Museum Curator"

"Fred Willard - Aslo"

"Carmen Electra - Mystique"

"Darrell Hammond - Captain Jack Swallows"

"Héctor Jiménez - Mr. Tumnus"

"Tony Cox - Bink"

"Crispin Glover - Willy"

"Faune A. Chambers - Susan Pervertski"

"Jennifer Coolidge - White Bitch"

"Adam Campbell - Peter Pervertski"

"Kal Penn - Edward Pervertski"

"We Know It's Big. We Measured."

"White Bitch: (trying to read) The... keeds... have... esca-puh-duh."

"Mr. Tumnus : Screw Gnarnia!"

"Paris Hilton look-alike: I'm so hot. (yells as she gets crushed by Susan, who was thrown off the plane)"

"White Bitch: I hate those fucking kids."

"Borat look-alike: Jagshemash! My name-a Borat. You did it! You made moviefilm have happy ending! (the water wheel runs over the orphans) Not!"

"Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Shit, bitch, I'm always yelling! I'm Samuel god damn Jackson!"

"Kanye West look-alike: (while Lucy is viewing the camera from Mr. Tumnus) The White Bitch doesn't care about black people."

"Peter: (as Superman) You shot me in the freaking eye! That really hurts! Why would you do that?! That was so unnecessary! You bastard!"

"Peter: Monobrow! Monobrow! King wants a monobrow!"

"Willy: Who wants to chew my gumballs?"

"Damn that Superman plot!"

"(in his old age) Chuck Norris rules."

"(as the White Bitch pulls up in her turbo sled) Whoa, Stifler's mom!"

"Al Dog: Five dollas buster!"

"Doo-Rag - Isaiah Barnes"

"Korean Woman - Tamayo Ostuki"

"Grandma - Helen Martin"

"Mailman - Keenen Ivory Wayans"

"Officer Self Hatred - Bernie Mac"

"Snowflake - Kelly Vaughn"

"Preach - Chris Spencer"

"Dashiki - Tracey Cherelle Jones"

"Crazy Legs - Suli McCullough"

"Toothpick - Darrel Heath"

"Loc Dog - Marlon Wayans"

"Ashtray - Shawn Wayans"

"Doo Rag: What's up with them hoes tonight?"

"Korean Woman: [Ashtray is looking at something while the racist Korean woman nervously dusts wine bottles] Hurry up and buy."

"Preacher: "And that's what God expects from His sheep, here at the Greater Ebenezer New Revival Tree of Life Institutional Double Rock on the Side of the Road The Jericho Missionary Baptist Church of Zion! Did I say Mount Cavalry! Huh! Ya'll Don't Hear Me!""

"Mailman:(repeated line) Message!"

"Ashtray's cellmate: If you hit a man, in time his wounds will heal. If you steal from a man, you can replace what you steal. And always cross in the green, never in between. Because the honorable Elijah Muhammed Ali floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. And always remember my brother, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish, knick knack, paddy whack, give a dog a bone, two thousand, zero, zero, party, oops! Out of time, my bacon smellin' fine."

"[during job interview] Recruiter: Well, I see your hobbies include "drinkin', smokin' weed, and all types of ill shit.""

"Ashtray's Mother: Tray, I don't want you hangin' out in the streets. I want you to finish school, 'cause without an education the only kind of work you're gonna get is sellin' drugs, pimpin' women, or workin' security for Eddie Murphy."

"Just shoot everything in sight! Everything! [during the final drive by shoot out]"

"Man, it's only been 1,825 days, 6 hours and 13 minutes! She could have waited! [after seeing Dashiki kissing Ashtray]"

"[to new gang member while in prison] Let me tell you something, in this world, if you can't swim...you bound to drizzown. And if you fall, you better pick your punk ass up! [to other gang members] And for the rest of you alls...Don't cut him no slack!"

"Ashtray! You little bitch ass motherfucker! Come over here and give your grandma a hug!"

"[after Ashtray hits her] You still hit like a bitch, motherfucker."