Johnny English

"(first lines) Ah, the Heckler and Koch G-36. Quite deadly in the right hands."

"A good agent doesn't need gadgets. The only gadgets I've ever needed are a sharp eye, a finely tuned ear and a slightly bigger brain than is strictly necessary."

"[After climbing into a castle via the sewage system] Oh, pull yourself together, it's only a little bit of poo!"

"The word 'mistake' sir is not one that appears in my dictionary."

"[Addressing the Archbishop of Canterbury, who he believes to be an impostor] Do you or do you not have tattooed on your bottom the words, "Jesus is coming – look busy"?"

"You might have taken me, but you'll never take England. Not as long as I have breath in my body or a bullet in my gun. [English pulls the trigger, but poo splurts out instead of a bullet]"

"I've been dropped into the Kalahari desert, carrying nothing but a toothbrush and a packet of Sherbet Lemons, and I still found my way to Bulawayo before Ramadan."

"Good morning, gentlemen! MI7 at your service."

"[after accidentally being crowned king; points to Sauvage after a pause] Arrest that man... and lock him away! [the crowd cheers as four guards take Sauvage away]"

"[speaking to Bough] Have you heard of the chanting of the Bedouin monks of the Almaghreb mountains?"

"[speaking to Lorna] Are you familiar with the shaman throat warblers of the Guatemalan Delta?"

"Clearly, the aptly-named English is a fool."

"[furious because his coronation has been interrupted by English, pulls a gun on crowd] Shut up! All this stupid little country has to do is stand in line and do what it's told for one miserable day! But can it do that? My fragrant French Ass it can!"

"He knows no fear. He knows no danger. He knows nothing."

"Prepare for British Intelligence."

"The star of Mr. Bean is now Her Majesty's most trusted agent."

"He's the kind of secret agent the Secret Service keeps secret."

"When it comes to secret agents, there's the smooth, there's the sophisticated... and there's Johnny English."

"Rowan Atkinson as Johnny English"

"John Malkovich as Pascal Sauvage"

"Natalie Imbruglia as Lorna Campbell"

"Ben Miller as Bough"

"Greg Wise as Agent One"

"Douglas McFerran as Carlos Vendetta"

"Steve Nicolson as Dieter Klein"

"Kevin McNally as Tony Blair"

"Tim Pigott-Smith as Pegasus"

"Oliver Ford Davies as the Archbishop of Canterbury"