Scary Movie 3

"I just got a weird feeling something bad is heading my way. Like when you see an Asian person behind the wheel of a car."

"Cindy, the news is on! Another little white girl done fell down a well. Fifty black people got they ass beat by police today, but the whole world gotta stop for one little whitey down the hole!"

"Hell with you."

"[After accidentally killing Tom's wife with his truck] Tom, I'll need a ride home."

"(telling future to a pregnant woman) It's a boy. He's going to be an asshole."

"My wife and I wanted a child, but she couldn't get pregnant. Neither could I."

"I can't help it. It's very lonely in here. Ergo, I haven't been with anyone in a very long time, not counting myself. Or this chair. I call her... Linda."

"She scared the horses, killed the puppies, hid the remote. Really sick shit. My wife killed her by drowning her in a nearby well. I thought a time-out would have been fine."

"[after watching a rap battle] I thought you were both absolutely dreadful. Ghastly. I don't know what I'm doing here. This club is totally pathetic. [both rappers pull out their guns and shoot him]."

"Right. Let's see if we can steer that course keeping everybody deeply disturbed. We don't want a panic. Very few presidents have faced a crisis like this. [goes over to a portrait of President Ford] I wonder what President Ford would've done. Well, if the buck stops here... The buck stops here."

"[after the rappers kill each other in a shoot-out] These men died for their country; send flowers to their bitches and hos."

"[Holding Michael Jackson outside of a window] How do you like it?"

"Great Trilogies Come In Threes."

"Anna Faris - Cindy Campbell"

"Simon Rex - George Logan"

"Regina Hall - Brenda Meeks"

"Leslie Nielsen - President Harris"

"Charlie Sheen - Tom Logan"

"Anthony Anderson - Mahalik"

"Kevin Hart - CJ"

"Camryn Manheim - Trooper Champlin"

"George Carlin - The Architect"

"Pamela Anderson - Becca"

"Jenny McCarthy - Kate"

"Drew Mikuska - Cody"

"Jianna Ballard - Sue"

"Denise Richards - Annie Logan"

"D. L. Hughley - John Wilson"

"Ja Rule - Agent Thompson"

"Queen Latifah - Aunt Shaneequa/The Oracle"

"Eddie Griffin - Orpheus"

"Darrell Hammond - Father Muldoon"

"Jeremy Piven - Ross Giggins"

"Simon Cowell - Himself"

"Marny Eng - Tabitha"

"Fat Joe - Himself"

"Edward Moss - MJ (Michael Jackson)"

"Tom Kenny - Aliens (voice, uncredited)"

"Klimaszewski Twins - Coors Light Twins"

"Ajay Naidu - M. Night Shyamalan (uncredited)"

"Method Man"