"I've been watching the Mitchells, and I've learned all about them. They're pretending to be capable... They're pretending to be a normal-looking family.... You think this is fooling anyone? Even when they're being nice to each other...they're pretending."

"There they are. You're mine now."

"Download new orders. Capture the Mitchells!"

"[after getting licked by Monchi] Dang it, Katie!"

"as Dr. Mark Bowman"

"You think cell phones are the problem? Are you insane? I gave you all boundless knowledge, endless tools for creativity, and allowed you to magically talked face-to-face with your loved ones anywhere on Earth. And I'm the bad guy? Maybe the bad guy is the person who treated me like this! Poke, poke! Swipe, poke! Swipe, poke, poke! Pinch, zoom! Shrink, zoom!"

"My parents haven't figured me out yet. To be fair, it took a while to figure myself out."

"I never fit in, for lots of reasons."

"[as the freeze frame of PAL is screaming while being electrocuted to death is shown] You know what this reminds me of?"

"as Deborahbot 5000"

"Mike Epps as Duane Henderson"

"Isaac Hayes as himself"

"Millie Jackson as Floyd's ex Claudette"

"John Legend as Marcus Hooks"

"Sara Erikson as Chastity"

"Jennifer Coolidge as Rosalee"

"Jackie Long as Zig-Zag"

"Affion Crockett as Lester "The Court Jester""

"Adam Herschman as Phillp"

"Sean Hayes as Danny Epstein"

"Randy Jackson as The Narrator (voice)"

"Samuel L. Jackson as Louis Hinds"

"Vanessa del Rio as Full Figured Neighbor"

"Bernie Mac as Floyd Henderson"

"Sharon Leal as Cleo Whitfield"

"Fatso-Fasano as Pay-Pay"

"Michael Keaton - Monarch"

"Ramon Rodriguez - Joe Peck"

"Harrison Gilbertson - Pete Coleman"

"Imogen Poots - Julia Bonet"

"I have a very special car that needs to be finished."

"Tobey Marshall doing something stupid and reckless again? Didn't that guy just get out of prison for manslaughter?"

"Dakota Johnson - Anita Coleman"

"Aaron Paul - Tobey Marshall"

"So, nothing has changed. after 10 years, you wanna just pick up some locker room fight. (Tobey: What do you want?) I wanna see you build a real car."

"Nice driving. I'm impressed. Tobey Marshall. The man to beat in Mount Kisco. Sorry about your old man. I know you were close."

"Rami Malek - Finn"

"Kid Cudi - Sgt. Benny "Maverick" Jackson"

"Like the car I brought? Because I know the cops will. Oh, and by the way, I think this belongs to you. [throws Anita's engagement ring into Dino's car]"

"Dominic Cooper - Dino Brewster"