"[narrating] I always wondered why nobody did it before me. I mean, all those comic books, movies, t. v. shows, you'd think that one eccentric loner would have made himself a costume. I mean, is everyday life really so exciting? Are schools and offices so thrilling that I'm the only one who ever fantasised about this? Come on, be honest with yourself. At some point in our lives, we all wanted to be a superhero."

"I can't be invisible, but I can kick your ass."

"I can't fly, but I can kick your ass."

"Shut up. Kick Ass."

"I saw the first Kick-Ass and I loved it. I thought it was an amazing movie. It’s just a great action film that caught me off-guard. You see all these super hero movies, and super heroes have a moral code that they live by and it seemed like in Kick-Ass, that wasn’t the case. It was survival on the streets and still try to fight crime. I think that’s a more realistic version of what vigilantes would be."

"You are so fucking dead, man! [gets stabbed by Hit-Girl]"

"[about to fire the bazooka] Say hello to my little friend!"

"Virginia Capers as Cora Mae"

"Jordan Prentice"

"Lisa Sturz"

"Mary Wells"

"Peter Baird"

"Steve Sleap"

"Brian Steele (voice) as Dark Overlord of the Universe"

"Debbie Lee Carrington (voice) as additional ducks"

"Richard Kiley (voice) as The Cosmos"

"Thomas Dolby as Rock club bartender"

"William Hall as Officer Hanson"

"Miguel Sandoval as Bar entertainment supervisor"

"Richard McGonagle as First cop"

"Paul Comi as Dr. Chapin"

"Miles Chapin as Carter"

"Richard Edson as Ritchie"

"Tommy Swerdlow as Ginger Moss"

"Holly Robinson as K.C."

"Dominique Davalos as Cal"

"Liz Sagal as Ronette"

"Chip Zien (voice) as Howard T. Duck"

"Paul Guilfoyle as Lieutenant Welker"

"David Paymer as Larry"

"Jeffrey Jones as Dr. Walter Jenning"

"Tim Robbins as Phil Blumburtt"