"[narrating] I always wondered why nobody did it before me. I mean, all those comic books, movies, t. v. shows, you'd …"

"[while attempting to rescue a stubborn cat named 'Mister Bitey' who was stuck on a billboard platform] FUCK YOU, Mist…"

"With no power comes no responsibility, except that wasn't true."

"Okay, you cunts, let's see what you can do now."

"[after saving Big Daddy and Kick-Ass from being executed on live television] Show's over, motherfuckers. [destroys th…"

"[lifts up gun at Mindy] You're gonna be fine, babydoll! [shoots Mindy in the chest]"

"Mindy? No more homework, baby doll. It's time for Frank D'Amico to go bye-bye."

"That's right, we're superheroes, you love us."

"As a great man once said, "Wait 'til they get a load of me!"."

"[after killing Cody in his car with a car crusher] What a douche."