"(Talking into camera) Vegas. Where every thrill is for sale including... murder! (Makes Psycho sound effects while zooming camera in and out on zebra)"

"Okay listen up, you need a zebra rug, I need to get a crazy Hindu elephant off my back."

"I love him... but the kid bums me out."

"Larry, I just want you to know. If you were my own son... I'd be pretty disappointed, but I'd make do."

"You're a fat, middle-aged, virgin panda. You deserve Nelson!"

"(Talking to his rug) What do you think of our new place? Oh that's right you can't hear me because I killed you and sawdust now occupies where your brain was."

"Happiness, is being a grandparent."

"(To Larry; amazed) You know Donkey?!"

"Dad? Are we gonna kill Grandpa?"

"I do not know you, sir!"

"(Drunk) Grandpa... this tower isn't evil... it's good!"

"I like elves!"

"(Imitating Gollum) My precious! Grandpa wants to take the precious! (Imitating Smeagol) But Grandpa's a friend! (Imitating Gollum) NO! Kill Grandpa!"

"The zebra's alive! Save yourselves and bring me back through the miracle of cloning!"

"Mom, Hunter's using your copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves to discover his body, himself."

"(To Emerson, who called Larry the enemy) No he's not! He's my dad! And I like him! You know who I don't like? You!"

"Sierra:: (ashamed of her father about Emerson) This is all your fault, Emerson is probably boiling in a pot right now. Larry:: Don't think that way honey maybe they grilled him (as his daughter glares at him) or setting him free in the ocean paradise, I bet that's it."

"Kate: (notices beer bottles on table) What the..? Dad, were you playing poker in front of the kids? Sarmoti: No sweetheart. I'm a drunkard, you know that. Kate: Whatever."

"Larry: I don't know if I can do this... Sarmoti: With my help you can. Because as a lion you've got it here and here (prods his head and chest) Larry: (chuckles) That tickles! Sarmoti: You sure you're all lion? Maybe a chimp shmock your grandma?"

"Sierra:: (Catnip is dropped next to her) What's that? Kate:: Don't play dumb, this isn't a game. It's Catnip. (opens book) Or as you and your friends may call it, Monkey Junk, Street Cheese or... Siamese Colesaw. Sierra:: What? You think that's mine? Larry:: We found it in your room. Sierra:: Oh my god... you searched my room? What happened to privacy? Larry:: We saw a movie about A LION THAT DROVE A TRUCK! We're not going to let that happen to you."

"Roy:: (Reading a cue card) As you all know, the 3rd World War has left the world a barren wasteland. Siegfried:: No, no! This one is for the lions. For their gift! Roy:: Oh yeah... Dear Larry and Kate. We wanted to bring you the perfect gift, something you would use everyday. Please be enjoying this delightful Scandanavian Tea Service. Hopefully you will have us over for tea...soon. Siegfried:: Very soon."

"Shop Assistant:: I don't know how to make this more clear. We don't sell gifts for White Lions. Roy:: I see. Congratulations on being a racist."

"Elephant:: Fact. I am Lucy, from Lucy in the sky with diamonds. You don't know this because that damn McCartney takes all the credit! Larry:: You're Lucy? But you're a guy. Elephant:: It was a difficult time for all of us."

"Sarmoti: ...But the zebra wouldn't die. I raked him with my claws... he jumped back up! I crushed him with boulders... he sprang back to life! Finally... I pushed him off a cliff. He lay there... lifeless. His blood black in the moonlight. It was done. (falls backwards. Hunter shakes with fear) It's alive! (springs back up holding dead zebra rug) Zombie Zebra!"

"Sarmoti:: Look, Kate she's beautiful now, but let's face it. She has a genetic pre-disposition to take up space (pokes Larry) Larry:: (sarcastically laughs) I'll remember that when you're begging for your heart medication."

"Why are you talking like a black man from 1991?"

"If only there was a symbol of mob anger! (Looks at torches and pitchforks) ROCKS!"

"DAMN YOU CARL!"

"(Elephant - Speaking very fast and worried) The turkey's just my roommate!"

"Roy: Now we shall have the drink of the magical fairies: Sprite."

"Roy: Yes, please. That would be lovely."

"Siegfried: I told you. Licorice whip?"

"Roy: You're right. He does interrupt."

"Roy: Ohh... I am having it up to here with your besmirching the good name of Matt Lauer!"

"Siegfried: (smacks Roy's hand) I do what I want. You are not the Kaiser of China!"

"Roy: Siegfried, I am not letting you give fake tickets to Matt Lauer!"

"Roy: CUE OCTOPUS!"

"Roy: Ja, ja, very funny. Your arm is a blade that cuts trees."

"Roy: Siegfried. You are down a million dollars. I... am not going back... TO CANADA!!"

"Roy: Siegfried, have you lost your head brains?!"

"Siegfried and Roy: Activate "Rocket Pants!""

"Siegfried: Roy! You must be quiet! I am watching the tube of boobs!"

"Roy: Magic, you fickle bitch."

"Siegfried: Hello, security camera! Here is one crime you cannot stop! (lifts shirt) I stole a six pack."

"Roy: I am Roy! 'Allo!"

"You are the worst parents EVER! (Runs to her room and slams the door shut)"

"Oh, my God. You searched my room? What happened to privacy?"

"Grown-ups? Last time, Siegfried and Roy dressed up like leprechauns!"