327 quotes found
"God is a luxury I can't afford."
"One sin leads to a deeper sin."
"I remember my father telling me, "The eyes of God are on us always." The eyes of God. What a phrase to a young boy. What were God's eyes like? Unimaginably penetrating, intense eyes, I assumed. And I wonder if it was just a coincidence that I made my specialty ophthalmology."
"Jack lives in the real world. You live in the kingdom of heaven. I'd managed to keep free of that real world, but suddenly it's found me."
"When he tells you he wants to exchange ideas, what he really wants is to exchange fluids."
"Show business is, is dog-eat-dog. It's worse than dog-eat-dog. It's dog-doesn't-return-other-dog's-phone-calls. You know, it's just terrible. Which reminds me, I should really check my service. I don't know why, I haven't had a message in seven years! You know, I call up and I hear the girls on the other end giggling."
"While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like."
"I think I see a cab. If we run quickly we can kick the crutch from that old lady and get it."
"I don't know from suicide. Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide - they were too unhappy."
"What's the guy so upset about? You'd think nobody was ever compared to Mussolini before."
"The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty."
"A strange man defecated on my sister."
"Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, okay? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday."
"[after Levy's suicide] I got 600,000 feet of film on this guy. And he's telling how great life is and everything and now, you know. What am I gonna do? I'll cut it up and make it into guitar picks."
"We really do have to go. I have to get up at dawn and teach Emily Dickinson to a bunch of upper-middle class crack addicts."
"We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand scale, most of these choices are on lesser points. But we define ourselves by the choices we have made. We are, in fact, the sum total of our choices. Events unfold so unpredictably, so unfairly, Human happiness does not seem to be included in the design of creation. It is only we, with our capacity to love that give meaning to the indifferent universe. And yet, most human beings seem to have the ability to keep trying and even find joy from simple things, like their family, their work, and from the hope that future generations might understand more."
"When we fall in love, we are seeking to re-find all or some of the people to whom you were attached as children. On the other hand, we ask our beloved to correct all the wrongs that these early parents or siblings inflicted on us. So, love contains in it the contradiction, the attempts to return to the past and the attempt to undo the past."
"I've gone out the window."
"But we must always remember that when we are born we need a great deal of love in order to persuade us to stay in life. Once we get that love it usually lasts us. But the universe is a pretty cold place. It is we who invest it with our feelings. And under certain conditions, we feel the thing isn’t worth it any more."
"If it bends it's funny. If it breaks, it's not funny."
"Idea for a farce. A poor...loser does a documentary of a great man and in the process learns some deep values."
"I'll be honest. You're not my first choice."
"Comedy is tragedy plus time."
"Woody Allen - Clifford Stern"
"Martin Landau - Judah Rosenthal"
"Mia Farrow - Halley Reed"
"Alan Alda - Lester"
"Anjelica Huston - Dolores Paley"
"Sam Waterston - Ben"
"Jerry Orbach - Jack Rosenthal"
"Joanna Gleeson - Wendy Stern"
"I've hated you from the first moment I married you!"
"You are a monster and a monster, in that order."
"Silence when you're shouting at me!"
"You'll like this group analysis, it's a real freak show. If it gets dull, we sing songs."
"My wife, the creature that ate Europe, is here."
"Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!"
"Look, I know you'll think this is crazy, but, er, when the light hits me from a certain direction, I'm... handsome."
"I'll be back tomorrow. If I'm not back tomorrow, send for the police. If they're not back tomorrow, send my clothes."
"We played strip chess. She had me down to my shorts and I fainted from tension."
"I just burnt my finger! I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream. I'll be out in a minute."
"Peter Sellers - Dr. Fritz Fassbender"
"Peter O'Toole - Michael James"
"Woody Allen - Victor Skapopulis"
"Romy Schneider - Carole"
"Capucine - Renée"
"Ursula Andress - Rita"
"Paula Prentiss - Liz Bien"
"Eddra Gale - Anna Fassbender, Dr. Fassbender's wife"
"Jacques Balutin - Etienne"
"It's all right! She just swallowed a little jewelry, enjoy your dinners."
"In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee."
"I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier."
"There was a moment there when I stroked when I should have hickeyed."
"You're going to major in Journalism or Law. Not Rowing."
"How did I end up with a kid on the other end of the political spectrum? How did I fail?"
"I never believed in God. No, I didn't even as a little kid. I remember this. I used to think even if he exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him."
"It's like Noel Coward... with hockey!"
"Honey! Bring down a copy of my will... and an eraser!"
"I say give them an opportunity to decorate their own cells with their personal interior decorator."
"Bob, calm your denial mechanism."
"I've been trying since we got divorced to find the right woman for him, somebody to match up with his personality. I'm beginning to wonder if the world population isn't too limited."
"Laura: Please, no humiliating schemes."
"Rapper: Yo check it I'm through with love / I'm through with all you muthafuckas."
"DJ: That's Frieda, our maid. Personally I think she was Hitler's maid at Berchtesgaden."
"Woody Allen — Joe"
"Goldie Hawn - Steffi"
"Julia Roberts — Von"
"Edward Norton — Holden Spence"
"Drew Barrymore — Skylar Dandridge"
"Alan Alda — Bob"
"Natasha Lyonne — DJ"
"Tim Roth — Charles Ferry"
"Natalie Portman — Laura"
"Lukas Haas — Scotty"
"Gaby Hoffman — Lane"
"Saracen pig! Spartan dog! Take this! And this! Roman cow! Russian snake! Spanish fly! Anglo-Saxon Hun!"
"I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse."
"Wing Fat: Don't tell me what I can do, or I'll have my mustache eat your beard."
"Shepard Wong: I didn't order any fumigation! It's Wing Fool, you fat! I mean... it's Wing Fat, you fool!"
"I took one course in existential philosophy at, uh, at New York University, and on, uh, on the final... they gave me ten questions, and, uh, I couldn't answer a single one of 'em. You know? I left 'em all blank... I got a hundred."
"You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert."
"I don't know much about classic music. For years I thought the Goldberg Variations were something Mr. and Mrs. Goldberg tried on their wedding night."
"To you, I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the loyal opposition."
"Female fan: [to Bates] Will you autograph my left breast?"
"Woody Allen - Sandy Bates"
"Charlotte Rampling - Dorrie"
"Jessica Harper - Daisy"
"Marie-Christine Barrault - Isobel"
"Tony Roberts - Tony"
"I hate her just like I hate that German chancellor with the mustache."
"My clergyman - who happens to be wanted for pederasty - will vouch for me."
"It's a match made in heaven... by a retarded angel."
"A lot of women have passed through this apartment. I can't say they were all winners, but..."
"The New York City Police want to give me a lifetime achievement award."
"You don't have a kosher bone in your body."
"You hate any woman that doesn't have a double digit IQ."
"Gosh, all this passion in a lousy insurance office!"
"Woody Allen - C. W. Briggs"
"Helen Hunt - Betty Ann Fitzgerald"
"Dan Aykroyd - Chris Magruder"
"Brian Markinson - Alvin "Al""
"Wallace Shawn - George Bond"
"David Ogden Stiers - Voltan"
"Charlize Theron - Laura Kensington"
"Elizabeth Berkley - Jill"
"Peter Gerety - Ned"
"John Schuck - Mize"
"I didn't lie. I wasn't lying, Adrian. I was not lying. Do you want to know why I lied?"
"[about Maxwell] He's a wonderful guy and a terrific doctor. Never lost a patient! Got a couple of them pregnant, but never lost one."
"Sex alleviates tension and love causes it."
"We can't have intercourse in the kitchen! There's a man in the next room singing The Lord's Prayer!"
"[voiceover, after watching Casablanca] Who am I kidding? I'm not like that. I never was, I never will be. . . . That's strictly the movies."
"I wonder if she actually had that orgasm in the two years we were married, or did she fake it that night?"
"[to Dick and Linda Christie] I'm going home. I think today I'm gonna brush all my teeth!"
"[in a dream sequence to Dream Sharon] Sorry I had to slap you around, but you got hysterical when I said, "No more.""
"[to Linda Christie] I had to go to Washington once when I was married, and though I was the one leaving, I got sick, and when I returned, my wife threw up."
"No, my parents never got divorced, although I begged them to."
"I'll get broads up here like you wouldn't believe: swingers, freaks, nymphomaniacs, dental hygienists."
"I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life."
"[to Linda Christie] Look. Last night you felt like a woman, and I felt like a man . . . And that's the kind of thing those people do."
"[to Allan Felix and Diane Christie] The two of you should get married and move into a hospital."
"Somewheres in life you got turned around. It's her job to smell good for you."
"I never saw a dame yet that didn't understand a good slap in the mouth or a slug from a .45."
"Woody Allen - Allan Felix"
"Diane Keaton - Linda Christie"
"Tony Roberts - Dick Christie"
"Susan Anspach - Nancy"
"Jerry Lacy - Humphrey Bogart"
"Jennifer Salt - Sharon"
"Joy Bang - Julie"
"Viva - Jennifer"
"Suzanne Zenor as Disco girl"
"Diana Davila as Museum girl"
"Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman appear in scenes from Casablanca as Richard "Rick" Blaine and Ilsa Lund, respectively."
"Woody Allen - Virgil Starkwell"
"Janet Margolin - Louise"
"Marcel Hillaire - Fritz the Director"
"Jacquelyn Hyde - Miss Blair"
"Lonny Chapman - Jake the Convict"
"Jan Merlin - Al the Bank Robber"
"James Anderson - Chain Gang Warden"
"Howard Storm - Fred"
"Mark Gordon - Vince"
"Micil Murphy - Frank"
"Minnow Moskowitz - Joe Agneta"
"Nate Jacobson - The Judge"
"Grace Bauer - Farm House Lady"
"Ethel Sokolow - Mother Starkwell"
"Dan Frazer - Julius Epstein the Psychiatrist"
"Henry Leff - Father Starkwell"
"Mike O'Dowd - Michael Sullivan"
"Louise Lasser - Kay Lewis"
"[voiceover] I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If he was a carpenter, I wondered what he charged for bookshelves."
"Of course there was Old Greggor and his son Young Greggor. Oddly enough, Young Greggor's son was older than Old Greggor. Nobody could figure out how that happened."
"[writing aloud] "I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas." Too sentimental."
"[to Sonja] Where did you go to finishing school? On a pirate ship?"
"A. Socrates is a man. B. All men are mortal. C. All men are Socrates. That means all men are homosexuals. Oh, well, I'm not a homosexual. I - I - Once, some - some Cossacks whistled at me. I - I - I happen to have the kind of body that excites both uh persuasions, but uh you know some men are - are heterosexual, and - and - s-some bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all, you know, they're - They become lawyers. My problem is that I - I see both sides of every issue. I'm - I'm too logical. You know, I - I - I, the world is not logical. If it was logical, h-how would Old Nehamkin be younger than Young Nehamkin? I-I knew there was something crazy about that when I was a kid, but - but every time I said something, they'd smack me, so you know, heh heh. I-I'm - I'm just wracked with guilt, and I'm - I'm consumed with remorse and stricken with suffering for the human race. Not only that, but - but I'm developing a uh herpe o-on m-my lip here that is really killing me. [sighs] What to do?"
"Then there is a God. Incredible. Moses was right. [A ray of light shines over Boris.] He that abideth in truth will have frankincense and myrrh smeared on his gums in abundance, and he shall dwell in the house of the Lord for six months with an option to buy. But the wicked man shall have all kinds of problems. His tongue shall cleave to the roof of his upper palate. And he shall speak like a woman, if you watch him closely. And he shall . . . The wicked man shall be delivered into the hands of his enemy, whether they can pay the delivery charge or not. And . . . [Ray of light turns off.] Wait, I have more about the wicked man. [The ray turns on again.] I shall walk through the valley of the shadow of death. In fact, now that I think of it, I shall run through the valley of the shadow of death, cause you get out of the valley quicker that way. And he that hath clean hands and a pure heart is okay in my book. But he that fools around with barnyard animals has got to be watched."
"Wheat. I'm dead. They're talking about wheat. The question is have I learned anything about life. Only that - only that human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun. The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if - if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that He's evil. I think that - that the worst you can say about Him is that basically, He's an underachiever. After all, there are worse things in life than death. I mean, if you've - if you've ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you - you know exactly what I'm talking about. The - The key here, I think, is to - to not think of death as an end, but - but think of it more as a very effective way of - of cutting down on your expenses. Regarding love, huh, you know, uh, what can you say. I-It - It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand, if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it. Well, that's about it for me, folks. Goodbye."
"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But, then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness — I hope you're getting this down."
"I never want to marry. I just want to get divorced."
"Woody Allen - Boris Grushenko"
"Diane Keaton - Sonja"
"James Tolkan - Napoleon Bonaparte"
"Harold Gould - Anton lvanovich Lebedokov"
"Olga Georges-Picot - Countess Alexandrovna"
"Zvee Scooler - Father"
"Jessica Harper - Natasha"
"Féodor Atkine - Mikhail Grushenko"
"Yves Barsacq - Rimsky"
"Brian Coburn - Dmitri"
"Tony Jay - Vladimir Maximovitch"
"Howard Vernon - General Leveque"
"Aubrey Morris - Soldier 4"
"Alfred Lutter - Young Boris Grushenko"
"Georges Adet - Old Nehamkin"
"Sol Frieder - Voskovec"
"Lloyd Battista – Don Francisco"
"Frank Adu – Drill sergeant"
"Before you know it, the Renaissance will be here and we'll all be painting."
"With most grievous dispatch I shall open the latch to get at her snatch!"
"[the King has caught the Fool hiding in the Queen's dress] Hi Milord! Remember when you said if I was ever in town, I should look up your wife?"
"Can we please have an erection? What the hell is going on down there?"
"I don't know if you've read my book, "Advanced Sexual Positions: How to Achieve Them Without Laughing.""
"When it comes to sex, there are some mysteries that should remain unexplored. And with my luck, they always will be."
"Gina: [in Italian] Fabrizio, my darling, go easy on my hymen."
"Sperm #1: I'm not getting shot out of that thing. What if he's masturbating? I'm liable to end up on the ceiling."
"Divorce Court Judge: The defendant did commit an adulterous act with a sheep - most distasteful in view of the fact that the sheep was under 18 years old."
"The Queen: Didst I feel aright or didst I feel that thy two hands did upon my royal body cop a feel?"
"You haven't seen anything until you've seen everything"
"If you want to know how this man made a movie out of this book... "Everything you always wanted to know about sex* - *But Were Afraid to Ask" you'll have to see the movie!"
"Woody Allen - Victor Shakapopulis / Fabrizio / The Fool / Sperm"
"Jack Barry - Himself"
"John Carradine - Dr. Bernardo"
"Erin Fleming - The Girl"
"Elaine Giftos - Mrs. Ross"
"Lou Jacobi - Sam Musgrave"
"Louise Lasser - Gina"
"Robert Q. Lewis - Himself"
"Heather MacRae - Helen Lacey"
"Pamela Mason - Herself"
"Sidney Miller - George"
"Regis Philbin - Himself"
"Anthony Quayle - The King"
"Tony Randall - The Operator"
"Lynn Redgrave - The Queen"
"Burt Reynolds - Switchboard"
"Ref Sanchez - Igor"
"Gene Wilder - Dr. Ross"
"Floor five: Subway muggers, aggressive panhandlers, and book critics. Floor six: Right-wing extremists, serial killers, lawyers who appear on television. Floor seven: The media. Sorry, that floor is all filled up. Floor eight: Escaped war criminals, TV evangelists, and the NRA."
"Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'll take air conditioning."
"All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it."
"The two most important things are the work you choose and sex."
"Does the president think of fucking every woman he meets? Ah, bad example."
"The most beautiful words in the English language are not "I love you" but "It's benign"."
"I think you're the opposite of a paranoid. I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you."
"Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing. Waitressing's gotta be the worst fucking job in the world."
"Harry Block wrote a bestseller about his best friends. Now, his best friends are about to become his worst enemies."
"Harry Block has written a best seller... about his best friends... he revealed their deepest secrets... and they're not pleased... now Harry Block is going to Hell..."
"Woody Allen - Harry Block"
"Richard Benjamin - Ken - Harry's Character"
"Kirstie Alley - Joan - Harry's former wife"
"Billy Crystal - Larry/Devil - Harry's friend"
"Judy Davis - Lucy"
"Bob Balaban - Richard, friend that dies of a heart attack"
"Elisabeth Shue - Fay, Harry's last girlfriend"
"Tobey Maguire - Harvey Stern - Harry's character"
"Jennifer Garner - Woman in the elevator - Harry's character"
"Paul Giamatti - Prof. Abbott"
"Stanley Tucci - Paul Epstein - Harry's Character"
"Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Leslie - Harry's Character"
"Mariel Hemingway - Beth Kramer"
"Robin Williams - Mel - Harry's Character"
"Hazelle Goodman - Cookie"
"Eric Bogosian - Burt - Harry's brother in law"
"Demi Moore - Helen - Harry's Character"
"Caroline Aaron - Doris, Harry's sister"
"Eric Lloyd - Hilliard, Harry's son"
"Amy Irving - Jane"
"Viola Harris - Elsie"
"Shifra Lerer - Dolly - Harry's Character"
"Who do you have to sleep with around here to get a Stoli martini with a twist of lemon?"
"[on Chili] He's another version of Augie, he's a loser."
"[Ginger tells Jasmine that Eddie knows a dentist looking for help] Oh, forget it! Jesus, it's too menial! I'd go nuts. I wanna go back to school, get my degree and become...you know...Something substantial. I can't just do some mindless job. I was forced to take a job selling shoes on Madison Avenue. So humiliating. Friends I'd had at dinner parties at our apartment came in and I waited on them. I mean, do you have any idea what that's like? You know, one minute you're hosting women and the next, you're measuring their shoe size and fitting them. [emotionally intense] Erica Bishop came into the store. She saw me and was so embarrassed for me, she slipped out thinking I didn't see her. [shouts] I saw you, Erica!"
"[mumbling to herself] It's fraught with peril. They gossip, you know, they talk. I saw Danny. Yes, did I tell you? He's getting married. A weekend in Palm Beach means I can wear... what could I wear? I can wear the Dior dress I bought in Paris. Yes, my black dress. Well, Hal always used to surprise me with jewelry. Extravagant pieces. I think he used to buy them at auction. It's so obvious what you're doing. You think I don't know. French au pair. ["Blue Moon" begins playing] This was playing on the Vineyard. "Blue Moon". I used to know the words. I used to know the words. Now they're all a jumble."
"He was a handsome guy with money. He was a smooth talker and pampered her. What's she gonna say? No?"
"Augie: Some people, they don't put things behind so easily."
"Cate Blanchett - Jeanette "Jasmine" Francis"
"Alec Baldwin - Hal Francis, Jasmine's ex-husband"
"Sally Hawkins - Ginger, Jasmine's sister"
"Bobby Cannavale - Chili, Ginger's fiancé"
"Louis C.K. - Al, Ginger's lover"
"Andrew Dice Clay - Augie, Ginger's ex-husband"
"Peter Sarsgaard - Dwight Westlake, Jasmine's fiancé"
"Michael Stuhlbarg - Dr. Flicker, Jasmine's boss"
"Tammy Blanchard - Jane, a friend of Jasmine's"
"Max Casella - Eddie, Chili's friend"
"Alden Ehrenreich - Danny Francis, Jasmine's stepson"
"Barbara Garrick - Diane, a friend of Jasmine's"
"Emily Bergl - Hal & Jasmine's friend"
"Life has a malicious way of dealing with great potential."
"You know, life is manageable enough if you keep your hopes modest. The minute you allow yourself sweet dreams you run the risk of them crashing down."
"They still talk about my portrayal of King Lear. I played it with a limp."
"Did I tell you I played Uncle Vanya once? With a limp. It was interesting."
"Excuse the mess. My cleaning woman just won $60 million, so I gave her the night off."
"Melinda and Melinda at imdb.com"
"It was a really tragic story, because my husband, Otto, was dyslexic, and the only thing he could spell correctly was his name."
"I met a wonderful man downstairs. He seemed to like me. He said I reminded him of his wife who's dead. But I assume he meant when she was alive."
"They took a bite out of crime."
"Explodes with big-time laughter."
"Woody Allen - Ray Winkler"
"Tracey Ullman - Frances "Frenchy" Fox-Winkler"
"Elaine May - May Sloane"
"Elaine Stritch - Chi-Chi Velasquez Potter"
"Hugh Grant - David Perrette"
"Michael Rapaport - Denny Doyle"
"Tony Darrow - Tommy Walker"
"Jon Lovitz - Benjamin "Benny" Bukowski"
"Brian Markinson - Officer Ken DeLoach"
"George Grizzard - George Blint"
"Larry Pine - Charles Bailey"
"Kristine Nielsen - Emily Bailey"
"Tom Dale. Big star. He's in New York filming an adaptation of a sequel of a remake."
"[about Papadakis] He's very arty, pretentious, one of those assholes who shoots all his films in black and white."
"I can't have sex with you! My body belongs to my husband and there is no way that I could betray him in that way. But what I do from the neck up is a different story."
"Every curve in your body fulfills its promise. If the universe has any meaning, I'm looking at it."
"One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High and you fucking blink and you're 40, you blink again and you can see movies at half price on a senior citizen's pass. Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately, ask not for whom the toilet flushes."
"Just in time. Another minute, I'd have been found dead of comedy poisoning..."
"No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck."
"I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier."
"[to Lee] I hope you catch a break."
"Well, I'm working on buying St. Patrick's Cathedral, maybe doing a little rip-down job and putting up a very very tall and beautiful building."
"Kenneth Branagh - Lee Simon"
"Judy Davis - Robin Simon"
"Joe Mantegna - Tony Gardella"
"Winona Ryder - Nola"
"Famke Janssen - Bonnie"
"Charlize Theron - Supermodel"
"Melanie Griffith - Nicole Oliver"
"Leonardo DiCaprio - Brandon Darrow"
"Gretchen Mol - Vicky"
"Kate Burton - Cheryl"
"Bebe Neuwirth - Nina"
"Hank Azaria - David"
"Douglas McGrath - Bill Gaines"
"J. K. Simmons - Souvenir Hawker"
"Dylan Baker - Catholic Retreat Priest"
"Debra Messing - TV Reporter"
"Allison Janney - Evelyn Isaacs"
"Gerry Becker - Jay Tepper"
"Tony Sirico - Lou DeMarco"
"Celia Weston - Dee Bartholomew"
"Aida Turturro - Olga"
"Lorri Bagley - Gina"
"David Margulies - Counselor Adelman"
"Jeffrey Wright - Greg"
"Tony Darrow - Moving Man"
"Adrian Grenier, Sam Rockwell, and John Doumanian - Darrow's Entourage"
"Greg Mottola - Director"
"Michael Moon - Himself/El Flamingo Band"
"Donald Trump - Himself"
"Ian Somerhalder - Unconfirmed"
"Karen Duffy - TV Reporter"
"Frank Licari - Camera Man"
"Andre Gregory - John Papadakis"
"A funny look at people who will do anything to get famous... or stay famous."