"I've hated you from the first moment I married you!"

"You are a monster and a monster, in that order."

"Silence when you're shouting at me!"

"You'll like this group analysis, it's a real freak show. If it gets dull, we sing songs."

"My wife, the creature that ate Europe, is here."

"Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!"

"Look, I know you'll think this is crazy, but, er, when the light hits me from a certain direction, I'm... handsome."

"We played strip chess. She had me down to my shorts and I fainted from tension."

"I just burnt my finger! I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream. I'll be out in a minute."

"Peter Sellers - Dr. Fritz Fassbender"