"[voiceover] I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If he was a carpenter, I wondered what he charged…"

"Of course there was Old Greggor and his son Young Greggor. Oddly enough, Young Greggor's son was older than Old Gregg…"

"A. Socrates is a man. B. All men are mortal. C. All men are Socrates. That means all men are homosexuals. Oh, well, I…"

"Then there is a God. Incredible. Moses was right. [A ray of light shines over Boris.] He that abideth in truth will h…"

"Wheat. I'm dead. They're talking about wheat. The question is have I learned anything about life. Only that - only th…"

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But, then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to lov…"

"I never want to marry. I just want to get divorced."

"Woody Allen - Boris Grushenko"

"Diane Keaton - Sonja"

"[writing aloud] "I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas." Too sentimental."