"I've hated you from the first moment I married you!"

"You are a monster and a monster, in that order."

"Silence when you're shouting at me!"

"You'll like this group analysis, it's a real freak show. If it gets dull, we sing songs."

"My wife, the creature that ate Europe, is here."

"Look, I know you'll think this is crazy, but, er, when the light hits me from a certain direction, I'm... handsome."

"I'll be back tomorrow. If I'm not back tomorrow, send for the police. If they're not back tomorrow, send my clothes."

"We played strip chess. She had me down to my shorts and I fainted from tension."

"I just burnt my finger! I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream. I'll be out in a minute."

"Peter Sellers - Dr. Fritz Fassbender"