"Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'll take air conditioning."

"All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it."

"The two most important things are the work you choose and sex."

"Does the president think of fucking every woman he meets? Ah, bad example."

"The most beautiful words in the English language are not "I love you" but "It's benign"."

"I think you're the opposite of a paranoid. I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you."

"Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing. Waitressing's gotta be the worst fuc…"

"Harry Block wrote a bestseller about his best friends. Now, his best friends are about to become his worst enemies."

"Harry Block has written a best seller... about his best friends... he revealed their deepest secrets... and they're n…"

"Floor five: Subway muggers, aggressive panhandlers, and book critics. Floor six: Right-wing extremists, serial killer…"