"What? You like it it those freaks in loser town? [Kate says They're not freaks, they're people, just like you and me] Ha, ha, people just like you and me? That's what I love about you Kate, you've got a personality!"

"You and your lovable band of losers have already lost!"

"We're sweating like grease monkeys out here, I can't hold onto a ball!"

"Are you ready for the.. HURRICANE!"

"You're going down, La Fleur! You're going down like a sweet muffin!"

"We are the Globo Gym Purple Cobras, and we will, we will, rock you!"

"I know you, you know you, and I know you know that I know you."

"Turn it up high Reggie, I wanna burn."

"I don't know if you've ever seen a hundred thousand dollars before, except perhaps in the movies. But I can assure you, something gets lost in the translation. [opens briefcase revealing single stack of bills]"

"Of course you'll still be yourself in a legal sense, but think of it as a thinner, more attractive you than you could ever become without us. And with our competitively priced on-site cosmetic surgery, we can turn that Frankenstein you see in the mirror every morning, into a Franken Fine!"

"Well, isn't that convenient for you... and the clock!"

"Your "gym" is a skid-mark on the underpants of society."

"I wouldn't sell you your gym back for all of King Midas' silver."

"Here at Globo Gym, we're better than you. And we know it."

"I earned this body, and I built this temple with nothing more than some elbow grease and a little can-do attitude... and yes, a large inheritance from my father, Earl Goodman."

"Go on and make your jokes Mr Jokey... Joke-maker!"

"My gym has shareholders, yours haven't even got... cupholders!"

"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! Nobody!"

"[When asked how he knew where Kate lived] It's called the Freedom of Information Act for a reason. The hippies finally got something right. Just kidding. But not really."

"Let's not find ourselves shackled by the bonds of employer-employee relations. Unless of course you're into that sort of thing, in which case I got some shackles in the back. Just kidding. But seriously, I've got 'em."

"Yeah, that's me taking the bull by the horns, it's how I like to run my business. It's a metaphor. But that actually happened though."

"I can be naughty too. Really freaky naughty... you a naughty freak?"

"Good luck losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur!"

"Here at Globo Gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, like baldness or necrophilia, and it's your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it."

"That's me, six years and six-hundred pounds ago."

"Cram it up your cram hole, LaFleur! Prepare to be humiliated on cable television."

"Oh, now he's a philoso-phizer."

"Ball me, Blazer."

"[in a commercial for Average Joe's, now newly renovated and successful] Hi, I'm Peter LaFleur, owner and operator of Average Joe's Gym. And I'm here to tell you, you're perfect just the way you are. But if you feel like losing a few pounds, getting healthier and making some great friends in the process, then Joe's is the place for you. Don't forget, youth dodgeball classes are forming right now. So come on down and learn a great game the way it's supposed to be played. Right, kids?"

"Thank you, Chuck Norris."

"Lance Armstong: So what are you dying from that's keeping you from the finals? Peter LaFleur: Right now it feels a little bit like... shame."

"Hey, White. I didn't think Nazi camp got out until eight. Did you decide to skip arts and crafts?"

"You had me at blood and semen."

"I'd love to, but I don't think they make a "sorry your dodgeball coach just got crushed by two tons of irony" Hallmark card."

"I found that if you have a goal, you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I've gotta tell you, it feels phenomenal."

"It's time to put your mouth where our balls are."

"That guy's a dickhead."

"They got guys named Laser, Blazer, Taser and all other kinds of 'asers'!"

"We're gonna get our taints handed to us!"

"Eff your mama, Cotton!"

"Great shot by the submissive!"

"Effin-a, Cotton. Effin-a."

"Ouchtown, population: you, bro!"

"[Peter puts on blindfold] He won't be able to see very well through that Cotton."

"Hold your phone, she's got a cannon!"

"I feel shocked!"

"I don't know how they can play in diapers, Cotton. I never could."

"That'll buy you one heck of a blumpkin, Cotton!"

"I sure do like pumpkins, Cotton."

"Pepper needs new shorts!"