"[Advising Peter through the blindfold against White in a sudden death match] Just remember your training and trust your instincts. You can do it. Bye-bye."

"Go you crazy son of a bitch!"

"Dan Resin - Dr. Beeper"

"Cindy Morgan - Lacey Underall"

"Scott Colomby - Tony D'Annunzio"

"Sarah Holcomb - Maggie O'Hooligan"

"Bill Murray - Carl Spackler"

"Michael O'Keefe - Danny Noonan"

"Ted Knight - Judge Elihu Smails"

"Rodney Dangerfield - Al Czervik"

"Chevy Chase - Ty Webb"

"At last, a comedy with balls!"

"Playing A Round Of Golf At The Bushwood Club Isn't Just Confined To The Golf Course!"

"The Snobs Against The Slobs!"

"Some People Just Don't Belong."

"At last, a comedy that bites!"

"I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think."

"This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff."

"[Walking up to a gopher hole, dragging a giant water hose between his legs] Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts. How about a nice, cool drink, varmints? [puts the nozzle down the hole] Scum! Slime! Menace to the golfing industry! You're a disgrace and you're varmints. You're one of the lowest members of the food chain and you'll probably be replaced by the rat. Well, I have been pushed. I think it's about time that somebody teaches these varmints a little lesson about morality and about what it's like to be a decent, upstanding member of a society! Come to Carl, varmint. Come to Carl. [sticks his hand down the hole and flips off the gopher which bites him in return] Ah! Okay, I guess we're playing for keeps now. I guess the kidding around is pretty much over, huh? I guess it's just a matter now of pumping about fifteen thousand gallons of water down there to teach you a little bit of a lesson, is that it? I think it is!"

"I have to laugh, because I've outsmarted myself. My foe, my enemy, is an animal, and in order to conquer him, I have to think like an animal, and, whenever possible, to look like one. I've gotta get inside this dude's pelt and crawl around for a few days."

"License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill you must know your enemy, and in this case, my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will not quit, ever. They're like the Viet Cong. Varmint Cong. So what you gotta do is, you gotta fall back on superior firepower, and superior intelligence. And that's all she wrote."

"[standing in an ornamental flowerbed] What an incredible Cinderella story! This unknown, comes out of nowhere, to lead the pack at Augusta. He's at the final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2-iron, I think. [swings, pulverizes a flower] Oh, he got all of that. The crowd is standing on its feet here at Augusta. The normally reserved Augusta crowd is going wild... [pauses] for this young Cinderella who's come out of nowhere. He's got about 350 yards left, he's going to hit about a 5-iron, it looks like, don't you think? He's got a beautiful backswing... [swings, pulverizes another flower] that's- oh, he got all of that one! He's gotta be pleased with that! The crowd is just on its feet here. He's a Cinderella boy. Tears in his eyes, I guess, as he lines up this last shot. He's got about 195 yards left, and he's got a, looks like he's got about an 8-iron. This crowd has gone deadly silent... Cinderella story, out of nowhere, former greenskeeper, now about to become the Masters champion. [swings, pulverizes yet another flower] It looks like a mirac- it's in the hole! It's in the hole!"

"[impatiently waits for Danny's final putt] WELL? WE'RE WAITING."

"I have a little poem I'd like to read in honor of this occasion, if I may. Spaulding, get your foot off the boat."

"Danny, I'm having a party this weekend. [pauses a beat] How would you like to come over and mow my lawn?"

"Henry Wilcoxon - The Bishop"

"Dom Irrera – Tony"

"John Turturro – Jesus Quintana"

"Aimee Mann – Nihilist #4 in pancake diner, Toe Donor"

"Torsten Voges – Nihilist #3, Franz"

"Well, sir, it's this rug I had. It really tied the room together."

"Flea – Nihilist #2, Kieffer"

"Peter Stormare – Nihilist #1, Uli Kunkel, AKA "Karl Hungus""

"Mark Pellegrino – Blond"

"Philip Moon – Woo, AKA "The Chinaman""

"Tara Reid – "Bunny" Lebowski, AKA Bunny LaJoya, AKA Fawn Knutsen"

"Philip Seymour Hoffman – Brandt"

"David Huddleston – Jeffrey Lebowski – "The Big Lebowski""

"Steve Buscemi – Theodore Donald "Donny" Kerabatsos"

"Julianne Moore – Maude Lebowski"

"John Goodman – Walter Sobchak"

"Jeff Bridges – Jeffrey Lebowski – "The Dude""

"The Coen Brothers' 1998 follow up to Fargo is a mystery comedy for stoners. No character in the story is exactly what or who they seem to be. Inspired surrealistic dream sequences and touches of ribald humor spike the humorous punch. There's also a shot of red-hot political satire that predicts the Republican Party's post-Reagan shift toward nihilism. You'd never guess that the movie is loosely based on Raymond Chandler's detective novel The Big Sleep."

"Coen brothers' The Big Lebowski is a genial, shambling comedy about a human train wreck, and should come with a warning like the one Mark Twain attached to Huckleberry Finn: "Persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot." … Everybody knows somebody like the Dude — and so, rumor has it, do the Coen brothers. They based the character on a movie producer and distributor named Jeff Dowd, a familiar figure at film festivals, who is tall, large, shaggy and aboil with enthusiasm. Dowd is much more successful than Lebowski (he has played an important role in the Coens' careers as indie filmmakers), but no less a creature of the moment. Both dudes depend on improvisation and inspiration much more than organization."

"The Dude is an extreme case, but he provides an ideal which can help you to bring a little more "Dude" into your life, without giving up on the rat race entirely."

"We believe that the Dudeist tradition started as a response to the excesses of civilization. That was Lao Tzu's deal anyway. Lots of similar traditions dealt with issues of work and status and anxiety and nature the same way. But they were all, pretty much, taken over by fascists and real reactionaries. Even Taoism was taken over by charlatans and phonies. But the pure undogmatic centre of lots of traditions (Christianity, Vedism, Buddhism etc) is all the same. And that's Dudeism."

"Look, let me explain something to you. I'm not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. That, or His Dudeness, Duder or El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing."

"Lebowski: not a man, a way of life."